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It all went so beautifully yesterday.
my new shoes arrived on Saturday and I got to wear them fully dressed. Black, patent leather open toed sandals with a princess heel, and an ankle strap… I love them.
did my nails up so they would show. Still new at the nail polish thing but no mistakes this time, even though I did a couple of layers of a darker pink and a glittery layer on top.
make up. Intended to just do a light quick version, but I was having such good luck I looked in the mirror Nandi would say but it needs… I would just add it. I was very happy with the outcome. I succeeded in making my face look rounder and softer.
Ordered some hip pads (wife gave me some $$ and said get whatever you want) and I put these on… Oh, Myyyyyy. That shape. I put on a nice skirt and with the hips, no slipping down either. Tried a few blouses on and since my first choices didn’t go with the purples in the eye shadow.
it all just worked. It felt right…Was it perfect? No, but I think it’s the best I’ve looked since I have started this. Would people have figured it out? Sure, I’m pretty sure anyone who looked closely enough would have known.
I liked how I looked, a lot. More… It was me.
Once I’m en femme, all those restrictions on emotions are lifted in my subconscious.
I cried. It was good.
I don’t cry. I may have said elsewhere, but I have had years of therapy but I literally can’t. It was beat out of me growing up. Things would be bad, but no matter what… you didn’t cry… if you did, everything got 1,000 times worse. So years of that, and couldn’t even cry… not even when people close to me died.
but in 2021… Mallory came to the surface, demanded her name, and my acceptance. She’s always been there wanting out, and now I acknowledge my femme side… I’m getting so many benefits. I’m happier, I’m growing as a person, I understand my wife so much better now… and… I am reclaiming my emotions.
just felt like sharing.
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