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  • #697119
    Kendra
    Participant
    Registered On: September 10, 2015
    Topics: 22
    Replies: 73
    Has thanked: 43 times
    Been thanked: 637 times

    Hello Girls,

    I had a heart to heart with my spouse a couple of days ago about my dressing. Of course it started out strictly dialogue, with me trying to explain why I am not a freak and that I just have an irresistible compulsion to present as a woman sometimes. But what really got the dialogue going was me showing her photos and her seeing what I looked like fully dressed. It was interesting, she paused and said things like “wow you look good” and “I had no idea”. Even better was “this doesn’t bother me at all” and “if you want to do this that is fine”.

    Somehow seeing he effort I put into it, and seeing that my presentation was very respectful of women, enabled her to see that it was not some fetish, but that I just wanted to look and feel like a beautiful woman. So as strange as it might sound to some of you, showing her the pictures of myself fully feminine seemed to shift her thinking.

    So I am a pretty happy girl these days. I am dressing again and it seems my partner accepts it. Wow what a great thing that is.  Love to all of you

     

    • This topic was modified 2 months ago by Gabriela. Reason: Removed photo
Viewing 24 reply threads
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    • #702516
      Jessica Skye
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 27, 2022
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 170
      Has thanked: 347 times
      Been thanked: 756 times

      That is so great to hear Kendra. I think most would love to have some level of support from their SO. It is great to see that you are getting that.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #702415
      Audrey W
      Lady
      Registered On: December 15, 2022
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 9
      Has thanked: 15 times
      Been thanked: 86 times

      Great Kendra.  I very happy for you.  My wife is my biggest supporter and actually the one who nudged me into dressing to begin with.  There is nothing better than affirmation, support and love from one’s SO.  My wife is the love of my life.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #702405
      Tara D Sometimes
      Lady
      Registered On: October 4, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 106
      Has thanked: 115 times
      Been thanked: 312 times

      I could not agree more. One thing I also do from time to time is thank my wife for her understanding and support. I acknowledge to her that I know many other women would likely not understand or be supportive and I sincerely appreciate and thank her for being the awesome partner and support system that she is.

      Tara

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #698437
      Kim Dahlenbergen
      Lady
      Registered On: November 18, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 285
      Has thanked: 261 times
      Been thanked: 1058 times

      I can’t think of anything better than having a supportive partner. I hope the two of you can sustain the positivity and together share and enjoy this part of you!

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #698416
      Holly Morris
      Lady
      Registered On: April 15, 2022
      Topics: 106
      Replies: 284
      Has thanked: 3397 times
      Been thanked: 3335 times

      Kendra, that is wonderful, congratulations!

      Your wife sounds like an amazing woman, you’re lucky to have her!

      Hugs,

      Holly

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #698412
      J J
      Lady
      Registered On: September 13, 2019
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 492
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 1874 times

      Yes, it is wonderful, and I highly recommend it, if you can get it. My wife is fine with my dressing. I have been open and honest about it and while she would be just as happy if I never dressed again she knows I enjoy it, and is happy to let me do “my thing”. She knows I just like to wear femme things, but also knows I like sex when dressed and is fine with either. Some days I just lounge around the house, but on others it leads directly to the bedroom.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #697363
      Rachel Tyrell
      Lady
      Registered On: October 14, 2022
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 83
      Has thanked: 271 times
      Been thanked: 552 times

      Kendra –

      So pleased for you. I think we all want acceptance the most. Receiving that not only graciously, but with complements is SO NICE! Congrat’s and I hope the future holds many happy moments for both of you!

      Rachel

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #697347
      Fiona Black
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 23, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 432
      Has thanked: 272 times
      Been thanked: 1824 times

      Very happy for you Kendra!

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #697287
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 35
      Replies: 6632
      Has thanked: 14371 times
      Been thanked: 14113 times

      Kendra wonderful to hear about your wife’s acceptance. I’ve had that talk also and my wife too and overall she’s quite understanding and accepting but cautiously mind you. There’s moments that she does send me mixed messages but never in a terrible way. Always keeping taps on my present thoughts of where I’m coming from and where my dressing levels are. She’s basically touching base on making sure we’re on the same page on this. Her fears which is still concerning is not transitioning to places where our marriage will be in harm’s way. So with that said I’m happy having Stephanie in our relationship and my wife’s understanding that her husband is very much around for her too. I will admit it’s a difficult situation but my  marriage is the most important thing in my life which everything else must follow…🌷

    • #697261
      Katie Plowright
      Lady
      Registered On: October 15, 2021
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 223
      Has thanked: 1206 times
      Been thanked: 1148 times

      I agree as my wife is also accepting. She even spent two hours today trying to find me a new bra online. My only advice is keep talking and remember there are two people in a marriage. Katie.

    • #697252
      Dawn Judson
      Ambassador
      Registered On: November 26, 2017
      Topics: 18
      Replies: 230
      Has thanked: 597 times
      Been thanked: 1116 times

      My wife confuses me.

      She has helped me with choosing a wig, but is upset with me for growing my hair long.

      She has gone dress shopping with me & given her opinion when I try some on & step out of the dressing room. Yet she doesn’t like to look at pictures of me, dressed.

      Last week, she bought me a pair of heels. Yesterday, she bought me a Christmas dress & a bra. Yet, like Monica’s wife, mine also asks when I’m going to stop & get rid of everything. How do you eliminate a part of yourself?

      She has trans friends, but doesn’t want me to transition or even dress. She’s very accepting & open-minded except when it comes to me.

      She is a firm believer in “doing what makes you happy”, but draws the line at crossdressing.

      She is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.

      • #697293
        Rhonda Lee
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: September 29, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 191
        Has thanked: 218 times
        Been thanked: 941 times

        Dawn, Women are confusing to me generally; that’s why I know I could never truly be one… yours more than most… she buys you heels, dress and bra, then wants to know when you will get rid of femme things??? Most of us would die for a woman who buys bras for them! Fill my drawers with lingerie, my closets with fancy dresses and heels, then tell me I can’t wear them?? That’s like taking me to a bakery and telling me I can only eat vegetables… ain’t gonna happen! She sounds certifiable, in a very nice sort of way! Enjoy your dresses, heels and bras… who can turn down or get rid of goodies like that?? no one I know! If I were not a CD already, I’d become one.

        4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #697269
        Michelle McQueen
        Lady
        Registered On: June 14, 2021
        Topics: 31
        Replies: 1794
        Has thanked: 12843 times
        Been thanked: 8997 times

        Hi Dawn.

        Could be your wife thinks this is just a phase you’re going through and will revert back to your male self some day… idk. We know our desires won’t ever go away. You say she has trans friends but she probably doesn’t want to lose her husband to transitioning. Good luck, be patient and I wouldn’t push anything on her but let her go at her own pace and time.

    • #697244
      Allysa Grant
      Lady
      Registered On: November 1, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 250
      Has thanked: 1851 times
      Been thanked: 987 times

      I am so happy for you Kendra. Wish I had a S/O to share with  but that all fell through yesterday. We had an argument and as they say I ( kicked her to the curb) . The argument was not about my dressing it was her comparing me to past boyfriends. Can’t stand people who think they’re past was better than the present. We cannot live in the past when we have the future ahead of us . Live for today and let the past go.

      You presented how you felt and took her feelings into account. Great job. Hugs, Allysa

    • #697242
      Teri Ray
      Lady
      Registered On: September 24, 2017
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 32
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 147 times

      Hiya Kendra,  I always get excited and happy when a couple find ways to work through this unique desire.  Its never easy and when it works it is wonderful.  I am one of lucky people who through trial and lots of error finally had the big talk with my wife and finally found a path to acceptance.  We agree on boundaries and we continue to talk and keep open honest conversation in play.  Always keep your wife’s thoughts and feelings in mind as your first priority.

      best wishes

      Teri

    • #697225
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 31
      Replies: 1794
      Has thanked: 12843 times
      Been thanked: 8997 times

      Happy for you Kendra that the SO is accepting. You are very fortunate and it looks like your journey will become even more exciting and thrilling. I believe the majority here do not have accepting SO’s. One of the best things about coming out to the wife whether she is accepting or not is you don’t have to hide anymore. Luckily you are married to a wonderful person who loves you.

    • #697188
      Monica Delsanto
      Lady
      Registered On: November 4, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 54
      Has thanked: 371 times
      Been thanked: 277 times

      Hi Kendra,

      I’m so happy for you that it went so well!  I gradually let my wife know about my dressing over time and she was sort of OK with it in that she did not freak out.   That changed the moment I showed her two pictures (my profile picture and the picture of me sitting on the vanity of a hotel bathroom that’s in my public photo section). That was a HUGE mistake – she cried and wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the day.  This was probably almost 10 years ago.   We don’t talk about my desire to dress even when I bring it up at marriage counselling.   The few times she does bring it up at home is to ask me when I’m going to stop and when I’m going to get rid of everything.

      Monica

      • #697226
        Rhonda Lee
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: September 29, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 191
        Has thanked: 218 times
        Been thanked: 941 times

        My observation has been that a good rule of thumb is to share only what you are asked to share. Most of us have a burning desire to share more than what the recipient wants to see and know, because we crave their acceptance. But this often backfires. So I let loved ones know they are free to ask me anything they choose or see anything they wish. I’d of course be delighted to get a response like Kendra’s, but few are met with such open arms. All most of us can do is demonstrate that we are more than willing to share who we are and what we desire, but what we desire most is to give to our loved ones what THEY want, not what WE want. If both needs are met, as they sometimes are, after making our desires known, we can live blissful lives. But where our loved ones cannot handle what we most want to give, love often means keeping to ourselves what they want us to keep to ourselves. At least they know our closets are open and we are ready and willing to step into the light, without holding deep secrets in the dark. That is a big improvement over holding secrets we refuse to share… not ideal for most of us… but sufficient to breathe.

    • #697183
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 1406
      Has thanked: 5124 times
      Been thanked: 6445 times

      That’s lovely to gain the support of your wife Kendra. Every coming out to a partner is different but you obviously gave a good dialogue, reassuring her and she was impressed by the photo.  I hope it goes from strength to strength.

    • #697178
      Suzanne Martin
      Hostess
      Registered On: January 8, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 420
      Has thanked: 1827 times
      Been thanked: 1798 times

      Kendra –

      Very happy for you.  It is nice when your SO is accepting of this part of you.  My wife is accepting to a point, she has helped me buy clothes online, given me some of her things she doesn’t wear anymore, bought and showed me how to use make up and helped me buy my wig.  She gives me time to dress, however, I wish I could dress when she is around.

      Enjoy your time with your wife.  I hope you get osme girlfriend time with her.

      XOXO
      Suzanne

    • #697166
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      So nice to read this Kendra and very happy for you. I dream of having that conversation too one day.

    • #697163
      Jane Don
      Lady
      Registered On: March 4, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 131
      Has thanked: 34 times
      Been thanked: 463 times

      Fantastic-Your a lucky “”MAN””??–Just remember–Humans generally like to help & show off their individual skills–So asking her for Help & or advice to keep her engaged & not feel left out is Important —

    • #697162
      Rhonda Lee
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 191
      Has thanked: 218 times
      Been thanked: 941 times

      So happy for you!! that’s a dream come true for most of us!! I was not so lucky.

    • #697157
      Giselle Reeves
      Lady
      Registered On: July 10, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 35
      Has thanked: 206 times
      Been thanked: 192 times

      congrats Kendra and give your good lady a big hug for me.

    • #697155
      Lara Tucker
      Lady
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 1267
      Has thanked: 28059 times
      Been thanked: 4675 times

      Hi Kendra,

      Congratulations! How wonderful that is! Please keep us updated. I’m hoping that I can be as fortunate. You sure do make yourself look beautiful. I can see why she respects your efforts!

      💕Lara

    • #697150
      Jess Secret
      Lady
      Registered On: February 18, 2021
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 598
      Has thanked: 1467 times
      Been thanked: 2598 times

      So happy for you Kendra!! I’m very lucky to have a really accepting & supportive SO myself (boyfriend). It’s definitely a blessing to have an emotionally supportive SO! Makes a huge difference!

    • #697136
      Sherri Remington
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: August 8, 2018
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 146
      Has thanked: 132 times
      Been thanked: 585 times

      Wow Kendra I’m so excited for you, what a wonderful corner to turn. Many of use are hoping for the same to happen to us. Please keep us up to date and enjoy all the precious moments ahead.

      Sherri

    • #697123
      Stephanie Bass
      Hostess
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 27
      Replies: 4406
      Has thanked: 63394 times
      Been thanked: 15770 times

      Hi Kendra and congrats on the progress and the courage to go farther into your girly life with your wife .. I so hope things go well as you keep up the conversations and ask her for a little help once in a while  as she has the expertiese of being a woman great going girl and keep us in the loop of how progress goes ..

      Stephanie Bass

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