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Hello ladies!
I think my girlfriend has found out about my dressing, she has been a total bitch the last four days, complaining about everything and even calling me a sissy for no “obvious” reason. Also she has been ice cold, not touching me not even kiss me goodbye when I leave for work like she usualy does.
Should I come clean or wait it out ?
A little concerned Tess 😐
PS. Excuse my English it’t not my native tongue
For many wives/girlfriends finding out by way of accidental discovery can be very hard. If you’ve never given any indications of your desires to crossdress then it’s even possible, if she has in fact discovered some of your clothing, that she suspects you of being involved with ‘another’ woman.
As hard as it might be, you need to ask her if you’ve done anything to make her upset or angry at you. Tell her you want her to be honest with you about her feelings, and then be prepared to answer her questions or address her response honestly. As I wrote recently, coming out, or even chance discovery, should be the end of the lies and deception. Once people know about us there is no longer any reason for dishonesty. If your relationship survives coming out/discovery then you need to work at keeping it alive. She will be confused, uncertain and quite possibly even doubting herself for becoming involved with you. You need to quell her fears.
Therese I wish both of you all the best.
Sometimes relationships just go downhill. If your dressing or her suspecting you dress is the cause, then you have some important decisions to make. Those decisions and what you do, I think depends on how you feel about her.
I had been dressing pretty seriously for a couple of years when I met my wife. I was wearing pantyhose with women’s short shorts at the time.. She thought my legs looked so nice, smooth and shiny. After seeing her a while, she came to my place. She noticed women’s clothes all over the place. Her demeanor immediately changed. She thought I lived with a woman. I felt I was in was in a no win situation.
I told her I didn’t live with a woman. The clothes were mine. I don’t just wear pantyhose. I wear those other clothes too. She told me to put some on and show her. I went in the bedroom, picked out one of my favorite outfits, did my make up and went out to show her. She smiled. She also was stunned at how pretty and sexy I was. She actually liked it and encouraged me to dress more. We went shopping together, picked out each others clothes and dressed for each other.
Coming clean and being honest about my dressing was the best course of action for me. It worked out very well, but I understand how awkward coming out can be. Best to you and I hope everything works out for the best.
Thanks for taking the time to reply, I truly appreciate the advice given. I stopped dressing nine years ago when I met my ex and then my current girlfriend and never told them about this thing, I even thought it was gone forever myself, only to have it pop back this summer stronger than ever. I understand if she think its false advertisement, she got together with a guy with a big beard and a over the top macho attitude (was trying to compensate I think).
I’ve made the decision to tell her and my closest, when I find the “right” time to do it.
Thanks a million for your answers
Hugs Tess !
Well from the sound of it, something is certainly on her mind if she’s suddenly so distant. The best approach would be to just sit down and talk with her. Who knows, it might not even be CD related?? Just start the convo the same way you would normally, ask her “It seems like something is bothering you, can we talk about it?”.
If the subject does indeed turn toward her finding your CD wardrobe, the advice the other ladies already provided is absolutely spot on… be open, be honest, and be prepared to answer some tough questions. When I decided to come out to my wife, who is an absolutely open minded person, she was completely accepting but still had some rather tough questions for me that I honestly wasn’t fully prepared to answer, but I answered them all honestly despite how difficult it was.
End result, our relationship grew stronger and that absolutely lingering feeling of guilt I had about not telling her was immediately relieved. It was a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders getting it out in the open with the person I care most about.
Afterwards, give her some time to process the whole of it. I had to remind myself that I’ve known about this side of me for my entire life and have had a lifetime to try and understand it all. She’ll just be finding out and will certainly need a few moments to process it all and understand as well.
Good luck in your convo and until then I offer *big hugs* and certainly let us know how it all turned out!
<3 Lauren
Hello !
Just a quick update, it seems my girlfriend is not worried about my crossdressing at all at least she didnt tell me when I asked her about her strange behavior, yet she seem more distant than ever, constanly texting, no hugs and she even sleeps as far away on the bed from me as possible. I´m starting to see the end of our releationship, even though I care about her it might be better for her to find a man who is a man. I don’t wish to hurt any one here but I might have to do MY thing and let her do HER thing.
A little update to this old thread.
Today I spoke to my now ex girlfriend since two months ago about me being a crossdresser, it turned out she had no idea, she even told me she wouldt have guessed in à million years.
Guess good at hiding it 😁.
Anyway she was not at all upset but very supportive. She is the only person Ive ever told about my dressing so it was a huge step for me.
Our breakup had nothing to do with me dressing, guess it was just that we had grown apart.
<i> 2016_relationship advice: Therese original post:</i>
<i>Hello ladies!</i>
<i>I think my girlfriend has found out about my dressing, she has been a total bitch the last four days, complaining about everythi</i>
<i>ng and even calling me a sissy for no ?obvious? reason. Also she has been ice cold, not touching me not even kiss me goodbye whe</i>
<i>n I leave for work like she usualy does.</i>
<i>Should I come clean or wait it out ?</i>
<i>A little concerned Tess ?</i>
<i>PS. Excuse my English it?t not my native tongue</i>
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