- April 26, 2021 at 10:23 pm #484515Trisha Lilly HibbertParticipantRegistered On: December 8, 2020Topics: 39Replies: 706Has thanked: 3201 timesBeen thanked: 2684 times
Hi gals, I have always been abit of a lone wolf and found it hard to maintain multiple relationships at once. Never really extended myself to others or let too many in. I’m not good at maintaining multiple relationships, never have been.
Recently I’ve made some big life changes but still kept my inner core isolated. I’m trying to change this. Let others in more. I’m know im not the best at it but Ive gottta try. Fear is a powerful thing and I’ve always kept people at an arm’s length, because of it. Sad thing is it still runs my professional life, something else I need to sort.
In short I’m trying to grow as a person as much as I resist. Please be patient with me Im a slow learner sometimes.
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- April 27, 2021 at 1:59 pm #484766Sarah Du HessisseLadyRegistered On: September 16, 2020Topics: 24Replies: 573Has thanked: 3690 timesBeen thanked: 2178 times
Hello Trisha it is very difficult to let people in when you are very unsure yourself, take your time sweetheart when it feels right for you then its right. Don’t force an issue I do know its difficult, the only people who know about Sarah are these lovely girls here. Sometimes when I am out in the big wide world, I want to talk about the real me but you can’t because you don’t know who to trust. I believe that you have to build that relationship steadily until you know can have that trust. Go slowly sweetheart and don’t be to hard on yourself, you have recognised the situation yourself and in time it will overcome.
Take care Love Sarah xx
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- April 27, 2021 at 9:22 am #484679Bettylou CoxDuchessRegistered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 21Replies: 2217Has thanked: 4563 timesBeen thanked: 8150 times
Someday, I’m going to bore all the girls here with my life story; meanwhile, I can say I spent most of my life as a hermit, with difficulty forming a single relationship, let alone multiples. Only after coming to CDH did I realize that my main problem was that I was a misfit in male society, not all of it, and now I’m learning to become a social animal….and this may be the best place on earth to learn that lesson. Please don’t give up on us or yourself.
- April 27, 2021 at 4:08 pm #484807Trisha Lilly HibbertBaronessRegistered On: December 8, 2020Topics: 39Replies: 706Has thanked: 3201 timesBeen thanked: 2684 times
Betty, I don’t think it would be possible to give up on the angels here. The people here have help me find the person who I want to be. I love being part of the CDH family, so much so I feel guilty when I don’t give back the support that’s been giv to me.
- April 27, 2021 at 7:55 am #484657Heather JamesonDuchessRegistered On: April 1, 2019Topics: 8Replies: 551Has thanked: 976 timesBeen thanked: 2033 times
Small steps Trisha and good for you. It takes a lot to lower your defences and let people in. With some of the stuff life has dealt me I have serious trust issues myself and wade into the water very slowly and cautiously. Keep me in the loop how it’s going.
- April 27, 2021 at 4:01 am #484593Jennifer McCrennaughLadyRegistered On: July 18, 2019Topics: 8Replies: 176Has thanked: 2771 timesBeen thanked: 560 times
- April 27, 2021 at 3:59 am #484591LisaTLadyRegistered On: January 31, 2021Topics: 57Replies: 671Has thanked: 582 timesBeen thanked: 3211 times
I always think it’s nice to be open with online friends it’s just trying to maintain that line where you are not accepting so many friends that it’s impossible to maintain any real relationship with them. It’s especially difficult on CDH where all the girls are so friendly and we all share to some degree or another a special interest which is important to us. I do hope you succeed in creating a circle of friends and maintaining supportive relationships across cyberspace because it hard sometimes being a crossdresser and we all need friends.
- April 27, 2021 at 1:33 am #484557Polly StewartLadyRegistered On: January 2, 2021Topics: 13Replies: 957Has thanked: 1361 timesBeen thanked: 3309 times
Softly, softly… catchee monkey!
It is good for your inner self to let others catch a glimpse of this wonderful person you hide!
You might find it will strengthen you own persona too! Other folk often have something you may not have thought about too much… enough that you could wholly benefit from it.
Please make an effort to be less scared of of people you may have just met, people who may have an entirely different take on life…
- April 27, 2021 at 12:44 am #484550Grace ScarlettBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 85Replies: 1821Has thanked: 6494 timesBeen thanked: 10193 times
Personally I like to take a step back and work people out before I dive in… slowly taking time to get to know them….and it works for me.
it’s so easy to leap in and blurb out your life story, and when you know them better, it probably wasn’t a good idea.
There’s a massive difference between friends and acquaintances…
Acquaintances drift in and out of your life…true friends will be holding your hand in your hour of need….I know lots of people at work, but I wouldn’t necessarily tell them my life story.
Paula’s post was brilliant, and her advice made lots of sense….you won’t go far wrong with it….
Confuscious say…” Slowly slowly, catchy friendy “…….😂😂😂
big huggs, grace xx
- April 26, 2021 at 10:46 pm #484517Paula FDuchessRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 15Replies: 1204Has thanked: 17591 timesBeen thanked: 4749 times
Trisha, the best I can advise you is to just relax and let people come as they will. If they are interested in you as a person, they will approach you to get to know you, just as you would a new person you were interested in meeting. Only run with the size of group you are comfortable with as there really is no competition to see how many friends you can accumulate, regardless of what hey say on Facebook. Only maintain the relationships you are comfortable with.
If the relationship is becoming more than just platonic, set your ground rules with the person very early in the relationship, and if there is more than one romantic interest make sure that they know about the other(s) and understand that they don’t call the shots about who you like in ‘that’ way.
Friends will come and go, some move away then return and your friendship might just pick up where it left off with them, some you will need to get to know all over again. Don’t limit yourself, but also don’t make it more than you can handle either.
I personally have a lot of acquaintance’s, but maybe only a few really good people that I consider as a friend.
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by Paula F.
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