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    • #484766
      Sarah Du Hessisse
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2020
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 573
      Has thanked: 3690 times
      Been thanked: 2178 times

      Hello Trisha it is very difficult to let people in when you are very unsure yourself, take your time sweetheart when it feels right for you then its right. Don’t force an issue I do know its difficult, the only people who know about Sarah are these lovely girls here. Sometimes when I am out in the big wide world, I want to talk about the real me but you can’t because you don’t know who to trust. I believe that you have to build that relationship steadily until you know can have that trust. Go slowly sweetheart and don’t be to hard on yourself, you have recognised the situation yourself and in time it will overcome.

      Take care Love Sarah xx

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #484679
      Bettylou Cox
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
      Topics: 21
      Replies: 2217
      Has thanked: 4563 times
      Been thanked: 8150 times

      Hi Trisha,

      Someday, I’m going to bore all the girls here with my life story; meanwhile, I can say I spent most of my life as a hermit, with difficulty forming a single relationship, let alone multiples. Only after coming to CDH did I realize that my main problem was that I was a misfit in male society, not all of it, and now I’m learning to become a social animal….and this may be the best place on earth to learn that lesson. Please don’t give up on us or yourself.

      Hugs,
      Bettylou

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #484807
        Trisha Lilly Hibbert
        Baroness
        Registered On: December 8, 2020
        Topics: 39
        Replies: 706
        Has thanked: 3201 times
        Been thanked: 2684 times

        Betty, I don’t think it would be possible to give up on the angels here. The people here have help me find the person who I want to be. I love being part of the CDH family, so much so I feel guilty when I don’t give back the support that’s been giv to me.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #484657
      Heather Jameson
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 1, 2019
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 551
      Has thanked: 976 times
      Been thanked: 2033 times

      Small steps Trisha and good for you. It takes a lot to lower your defences and let people in. With some of the stuff life has dealt me I have serious trust issues myself and wade into the water very slowly and cautiously. Keep me in the loop how it’s going.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #484593
      Jennifer McCrennaugh
      Lady
      Registered On: July 18, 2019
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 176
      Has thanked: 2771 times
      Been thanked: 560 times

      Trisha, I know exactly what you mean. It’s so hard to let ourselves get vulnerable. I need to work on this too.

      -Jen

    • #484591
      LisaT
      Lady
      Registered On: January 31, 2021
      Topics: 57
      Replies: 671
      Has thanked: 582 times
      Been thanked: 3211 times

      Trisha.

      I always think it’s nice to be open with online friends it’s just trying to maintain that line where you are not accepting so many friends that it’s impossible to maintain any real relationship with them. It’s especially difficult on CDH where all the girls are so friendly and we all share to some degree or another a special interest which is important to us. I do hope you succeed in creating a circle of friends and maintaining supportive relationships across cyberspace because it hard sometimes being a crossdresser and we all need friends.

      Big hugs

      Lisa xxx

      • #484622
        Trisha Lilly Hibbert
        Baroness
        Registered On: December 8, 2020
        Topics: 39
        Replies: 706
        Has thanked: 3201 times
        Been thanked: 2684 times

        Lisa this is something bin definitely struggling with. Finding a balance between work, family, cdh, friends and house maintenance seems impossible right now.

         

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #484557
      Polly Stewart
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2021
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 957
      Has thanked: 1361 times
      Been thanked: 3309 times

      Softly, softly… catchee monkey!
      It is good for your inner self to let others catch a glimpse of this wonderful person you hide!
      You might find it will strengthen you own persona too! Other folk often have something you may not have thought about too much… enough that you could wholly benefit from it.
      Please make an effort to be less scared of of people you may have just met, people who may have an entirely different take on life…

      Love Polly

    • #484550
      Grace Scarlett
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: February 16, 2021
      Topics: 85
      Replies: 1821
      Has thanked: 6494 times
      Been thanked: 10193 times

      Trish.

      Personally I like to take a step back and work people out before I dive in… slowly taking time to get to know them….and it works for me.

      it’s so easy to leap in and blurb out your life story, and when you know them better, it probably wasn’t a good idea.

      There’s a massive difference between friends and acquaintances…

      Acquaintances drift in and out of your life…true friends will be holding your hand in your hour of need….I know lots of people at work, but I wouldn’t necessarily tell them my life story.

      Paula’s post was brilliant, and her advice made lots of sense….you won’t go far wrong with it….

      Confuscious say…” Slowly slowly, catchy friendy “…….😂😂😂

      big huggs, grace xx

    • #484517
      Paula F
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 7, 2019
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 1204
      Has thanked: 17591 times
      Been thanked: 4749 times

      Trisha, the best I can advise you is to just relax and let people come as they will.  If they are interested in you as a person, they will approach you to get to know you, just as you would a new person you were interested in meeting.  Only run with the size of group you are comfortable with as there really is no competition to see how many friends you can accumulate, regardless of what hey say on Facebook.  Only maintain the relationships you are comfortable with.

      If the relationship is becoming more than just platonic, set your ground rules with the person very early in the relationship, and if there is more than one romantic interest make sure that they know about the other(s) and understand that they don’t call the shots about who you like in ‘that’ way.

      Friends will come and go, some move away then return and your friendship might just pick up where it left off with them, some you will need to get to know all over again.  Don’t limit yourself, but also don’t make it more than you can handle either.

      I personally have a lot of acquaintance’s, but maybe only a few really good people that I consider as a friend.

      • This reply was modified 1 month ago by Paula F.
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