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Hi gals, I have always been abit of a lone wolf and found it hard to maintain multiple relationships at once. Never really extended myself to others or let too many in. I’m not good at maintaining multiple relationships, never have been.
Recently I’ve made some big life changes but still kept my inner core isolated. I’m trying to change this. Let others in more. I’m know im not the best at it but Ive gottta try. Fear is a powerful thing and I’ve always kept people at an arm’s length, because of it. Sad thing is it still runs my professional life, something else I need to sort.
In short I’m trying to grow as a person as much as I resist. Please be patient with me Im a slow learner sometimes.
Love Trisha
Trisha, the best I can advise you is to just relax and let people come as they will. If they are interested in you as a person, they will approach you to get to know you, just as you would a new person you were interested in meeting. Only run with the size of group you are comfortable with as there really is no competition to see how many friends you can accumulate, regardless of what hey say on Facebook. Only maintain the relationships you are comfortable with.
If the relationship is becoming more than just platonic, set your ground rules with the person very early in the relationship, and if there is more than one romantic interest make sure that they know about the other(s) and understand that they don’t call the shots about who you like in ‘that’ way.
Friends will come and go, some move away then return and your friendship might just pick up where it left off with them, some you will need to get to know all over again. Don’t limit yourself, but also don’t make it more than you can handle either.
I personally have a lot of acquaintance’s, but maybe only a few really good people that I consider as a friend.
Trish.
Personally I like to take a step back and work people out before I dive in… slowly taking time to get to know them….and it works for me.
it’s so easy to leap in and blurb out your life story, and when you know them better, it probably wasn’t a good idea.
There’s a massive difference between friends and acquaintances…
Acquaintances drift in and out of your life…true friends will be holding your hand in your hour of need….I know lots of people at work, but I wouldn’t necessarily tell them my life story.
Paula’s post was brilliant, and her advice made lots of sense….you won’t go far wrong with it….
Confuscious say…” Slowly slowly, catchy friendy “…….😂😂😂
big huggs, grace xx
Softly, softly… catchee monkey!
It is good for your inner self to let others catch a glimpse of this wonderful person you hide!
You might find it will strengthen you own persona too! Other folk often have something you may not have thought about too much… enough that you could wholly benefit from it.
Please make an effort to be less scared of of people you may have just met, people who may have an entirely different take on life…Love Polly
Small steps Trisha and good for you. It takes a lot to lower your defences and let people in. With some of the stuff life has dealt me I have serious trust issues myself and wade into the water very slowly and cautiously. Keep me in the loop how it’s going.
Hi Trisha,
Someday, I’m going to bore all the girls here with my life story; meanwhile, I can say I spent most of my life as a hermit, with difficulty forming a single relationship, let alone multiples. Only after coming to CDH did I realize that my main problem was that I was a misfit in male society, not all of it, and now I’m learning to become a social animal….and this may be the best place on earth to learn that lesson. Please don’t give up on us or yourself.
Hugs,
BettylouHello Trisha it is very difficult to let people in when you are very unsure yourself, take your time sweetheart when it feels right for you then its right. Don’t force an issue I do know its difficult, the only people who know about Sarah are these lovely girls here. Sometimes when I am out in the big wide world, I want to talk about the real me but you can’t because you don’t know who to trust. I believe that you have to build that relationship steadily until you know can have that trust. Go slowly sweetheart and don’t be to hard on yourself, you have recognised the situation yourself and in time it will overcome.
Take care Love Sarah xx
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