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First off, I’d like to say thank you all for being here, and I’m so glad a website like this exists, it’s so needed. I’ve been away from here because of my work schedule, but also because I’ve been feeling social pressures to conform to being a “guy”, a “dude”. I don’t wear my nail polish for example as much as before, if at all. It’s also been some time since I’ve even worn makeup, a dress, a wig, anything like that. I try not to let social norms of gender and all of that get to me, but it does at times. One of my friends did not like the fact that I dressed up at all, and I’ve tried to brush it off. In some ways I’ve stopped wearing nail polish just so she can stop bugging me about it I sometimes feel like I’m almost disappointing her, even though I know I shouldn’t considering I’m 31. I feel that way at times because she’s one of my only real-life friends. It definitely hasn’t made me happy, though. I don’t like trying to be some masc dude. Sometimes I just want to run away from everything, it feels like the only way I can feel free. I know this is a long writeup, so I apologize in advance. Thank you for anyone reading this 💜
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