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Hey ladies,
First off, I’d like to say thank you all for being here, and I’m so glad a website like this exists, it’s so needed. I’ve been away from here because of my work schedule, but also because I’ve been feeling social pressures to conform to being a “guy”, a “dude”. I don’t wear my nail polish for example as much as before, if at all. It’s also been some time since I’ve even worn makeup, a dress, a wig, anything like that. I try not to let social norms of gender and all of that get to me, but it does at times. One of my friends did not like the fact that I dressed up at all, and I’ve tried to brush it off. In some ways I’ve stopped wearing nail polish just so she can stop bugging me about it I sometimes feel like I’m almost disappointing her, even though I know I shouldn’t considering I’m 31. I feel that way at times because she’s one of my only real-life friends. It definitely hasn’t made me happy, though. I don’t like trying to be some masc dude. Sometimes I just want to run away from everything, it feels like the only way I can feel free. I know this is a long writeup, so I apologize in advance. Thank you for anyone reading this 💜
-Margeaux
Hi Margeaux. That was hardly a long write up, thank you for sharing! I’m sorry to hear your friend isn’t very supportive, that can’t be very easy on you. So many of us want to run away from it all at one time or another – and many come to realize that you cannot run away from yourself. I’m happy you can see cdh as your home away from home, and a safe place. 🙂
Stevie
Hi Margeaux, glad your here and hope we can all help. We are all at different stages here and desire to go to different places. Some here are happy with just CD occasionally and some of us want/need? to fully transition. For a lot of us we also go back and forth with little or no Cd for weeks or months, then the desire/need? (pink fog) comes so strong we just need to become fully a woman even if only for a few short hours once or twice a week.
Not sure your friend would ever understand any of this, but maybe paint your nails for part of a week and go as far as you feel comfortable with for part of a day, telling everyone you just needed to check this out for yourself???Good luck Cassie
Hi Margeaux, glad to see you back! I’m sorry you’ve had such a hrad time feeling safe to express your feminine side. Just remember, people in our lives don’t like to see us change in most regards, let alone dressing as another gender!
Also, consider that those same people would rather you be unhappy so they can feel better about themselves, basically. That’s not an acceptable trade-off IMO.
Be true to yourself and take pride in you you are!
Hugs,
Brie
Margeaux,
You need to be you, who you truly are. I am in my early 60’s and i regret not having done more and be who i was when i was younger.
People who are true to you wont care what you wear what you look like. Those who are unaccepting are the ones who have issues, mot use. They are insecure about who they are and by making others be like them, they feel theybare accomplishing something. They are not.
They are miserable and they want you to be miserable with them.
So go out, wear what makes you feel good. Paint those nails and enjoy who you are.
Love and Hugs,
Becka
You’re not alone. All of us go through things like this. The many different and sometimes conflicting feelings, the desire to escape, the desire for acceptance and freedom, the pressure to conform, and the struggle with loved ones accepting and understanding. There are many different experiences here, but for me, it gets better with time and patience.
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