- This topic has 10 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by
.
- Posts
-
This is a LONG story, so apologies in advance, but I like to be detailed if it will help others.
About 3 months ago, I heard about a concert that I was interested in going to. When tickets went on sale, I bought 2 of them with the specific purpose of going to the show en femme. I thought it would be a great opportunity to blend in because people at concerts dress in all manner of outfits and just that week, I had been to a thrift store and bought a super cute denim skirt with kind of a ragged hem and a v-neck top that would go with it. Both just happened to be American Eagle branded. Add a sheer beach cover up and I instantly knew what I wanted to wear. I had the perfect wig (I thought at the time) to go with it and I already had my breast plate! I took a test run with the entire outfit and was REALLY happy with the test pics. I was SO going to do this! I booked a hotel that is walking distance from the venue as a home base to get changed and be able to change back. I also thought that since Covid was backtracking (at the time) that the local Ulta Beauty stores would be back to doing makeup makeovers and I had the plan in place!
I also immediately knew who I would ask to go with me. A long time (guy) friend of mine who knows me better than anyone and I knew that he would be accepting of Tara. I just had to find the courage to tell him. I asked him if he wanted to go the day I bought the tickets and he said absulutely, but I didn’t mentioned anything about him being accompanied by a girl 🙂 1 month goes by. 2 months go by. No problem, I think. There’s still plenty of time before the concert to discuss it. Then came the outing that kicked me in the gut and made me completely doubt myself (as outlined here https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/are-we-more-out-than-we-think/#post-516017 )
After that episode, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to dress for the show, much less bring the subject up to my friend. After discussing it with some of my best gal pals here on CDH, they made me realize that as long as I was happy with me, then it doesn’t matter if I pass or not. They were right, of course. However, I still want to pass, if I can. I just won’t let it be the end all be all of my existence. Then I found my shoulder length gray wig that, I believe, is MY color. I really liked it at the time and I’ve since discovered that I LOVE IT!
During this time, Covid is starting to rear it’s ugly head again. Ulta is showing no signs of allowing makeovers to happen, so I figure I should start experimenting with makeup and see if I’ll be able to do it myself. However, it’s kind of hard to do face makeup with a beard. I keep it short, but it doesn’t make doing makeup any easier. I knew I was going to have to have a shaving ‘accident’ at some point before the show to give me an excuse to shave it all off even it was for only a couple of days. (Yes, I am unfortunately still closeted. My wife likes my beard and the test balloons I floated about shaving didn’t change her mind.) In the meantime, I bought makeup. JEEZ, did I buy makeup. HA! Turns out that I love all forms of shopping…clothes, makeup, SHOES! You name it. Every couple of days, I’d raid a different Walmart and get foundation and concealer, setting powder, eye liner (already had mascara), nail polish, etc. I bought a set of brushes online with an eye/lip/blush set. After a few weeks, I had accumulated a makeup and tool collection that would make a GG envious. But I still preferred to have a pro do it. This was a certainty after I tried putting on makeup the first time 🙂
There was still the not so small issue of telling my friend that I wanted to go to the show en femme and that I’m gender fluid/trans. I set up lunch on the thursday before the show. (Nothing like waiting until the last minute, right?) My stomach was in knots all morning trying to think of how to tell him and wondering if he would be okay with it. I finished my sandwich and said, I have something to tell you that is going to sound pretty odd, but it makes me happy. He was like, ohhhkay. I talked about as a kid I liked to wear womens clothes and had buried it sub-consciously for a long time until this last december when Tara looked back at me in the mirror for the first time in 35 years. He couldn’t have been more supportive! It was SUCH a relief to tell someone! (forum post about that is here https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/crrrreeeeeaaaaakkk/ ) Before we left to go back to work (we don’t work together) I asked him if we could go to the concert together with me as Tara and he said that he was open to it! I was suprised and happy!
The concert was on Tuesday. On Friday, I had my shaving accident and off came the beard. That night, after watching a million YouTube videos over the last few months, I gave it a shot. It wasn’t the worst makeup application job for someone’s first time, but it certainly wasn’t the best (it is my profile pic though). I wouldn’t have gone out of the house with that makeup on. So, I started searching for places that were trans friendly that did makeup. Lo and behold, I found one. A makeup makeover was $43, which I thought was VERY reasonable for the type of salon that it is. I swallowed hard, used my best Tara voice and called to see if I could get an appointment. None were available at the location I called, BUT they had availability at a different location that wasn’t that far away. I WAS BOOKED FOR A MAKEUP MAKEOVER!!! I was so excited, I could have jumped out of my skin!
On Sunday, I touched base with my friend to see how he had processed the bomb I’d dropped on him at lunch on Thursday. He said that given his job it may not be the best thing for us to go to the show together with my as a female (he still wasn’t 100% sure how I’d look and neither was I). I agreed and, to be honest, I was having second thoughts about being Tara in front of 20,000 people 🙂 We agreed that aftter the makeover, I’d go to his place for dinner, then we’d head to the venue (with me still dressed) and I’d change back to drab at the hotel. So, not the full blown evening I’d hoped for, but still pretty great! He did tell me the day before that he was really looking forward to seeing what I was going to look like. I said, So was I!!
THe night before was packing night and you’d think I was going to be gone for a week! I had a cute shoulder bag and a duffel bag that was packed FULL of Tara stuff. (That breast plate is really heavy! 🙂 ) My stomach was in KNOTS all evening and I barely slept for more than an hour at a time I was so excited!! I got up the next morning and loaded the car and got ready for work. I was going to work half a day and then head over to the hotel to get ready. Jumping out of my skin is still the right way to describe myself all morning! It came time to leave and my heart was just going 100mph. I grabbed a quick burger and checked into the hotel. As I was eating, I was in front of a mirror looking at myself saying, are you really going to do this? The answer is YES!
Time to get ready. I had an hour and a half before I needed to leave to go to my makeup appointment. First thing I needed to do was get a close shave. I used an electric razor to get it down as far is it could get and then I used an actual razor for the first time since I was 18. SCARY is the feeling I had. I used a shaving gel and finally got into a rhythm. I was thinking, wow, you’re almost finished and haven’t cut yourself…and then I cut myself on the second to last stroke. Not bad, but HA! 🙂 Shaved. Check.
Next, since I’m wearing that cute, short skirt, I need to work on my legs and tan lines. During the weeks leading up to this, I had tried a few tinted moisturizers, foundations and concealers, but they were all too light. The previous day, I FINALLY found a foundation that matches my lower legs and I blended it into my upper legs. I was really happy with the results (even though it did transfer a bit on a chair or two). Legs done. Check.
The excitement is building. Time to get dressed. Since I wasn’t going to be in Tara mode all night and didn’t have to worry about bathroom breaks (I have a large bladder, so I knew I could hold it if needed), I was going to tuck like I’ve never tucked, so everything would stay in place for sure. First a thong, then bikini panties, THEN a tight Maidendorm shapewear, AND THEN my shapewear with some small pads to just add to the shape. Then check the clock, HEY, how did it get to be 15 minutes before I needed to leave?!? I really AM a woman! HA!! LOL!!!
Breast plate time! Let’s move quicker! I baby powdered the heck out of the inside and myself. That makes a HUGE difference in the comfort level of wearing it. I lucked out that the weather here was PERFECT for a summer evening at about 80 degress and I wasn’t hot in the breast plate AT ALL. Got the girls on and got my super cute, front latching push up bra and my undergirl is done! Put on my skirt, top and beach cover up and looked in the mirror….oh yeah, the WIG!! Sprayed a little conditioner on it and combed it out. Put it on and looked in the mirror again and……I’M TARA AND I’M SOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!
Got my cute shoulder bag together with some other stuff I wanted to take to my friends house and I was out the door! Put the salon location into the phone and WHEW! It says I’ll be 7 minutes early. I felt GREAT driving there! It was the first time I had been COMPLETELY en femme AND no beard, so I could leave my mask off in the car without showing off a beard 🙂 When I got to the salon, my stomach was CHURNING! I was SO excited and SO nervous. I didn’t know what to expect and I was about to be blown away. Walked in and in my best Tara voice I said I was here for a 4:00 makeup appointment with Tori. The absolutely ADORABLE young lady at the counter said, GREAT! That’s ME! And we hit it off instantly. She walked me over to a makeup chair and I nearly freaked out. It was LITERALLY 8 feet away from the front door. I said that I felt t a little on display and she was like, OH, well let’s just go over here and totally put me at ease.
We talked and talked while she put on my makeup. I couldn’t have been more comfortable! Frankly, it’s all kind of a blur. She asked what I was doing that night and I said that I was going to a concert (I knew I wasn’t GOING, but that was the makeup inspiration) and I wanted to be a little more glam than just an every day look. I was COMPLETELY in heaven! It was pampering that I’ve never experienced and I LOVED every second of it. She finished up and asked me if I was ready….moment of truth Tara….she handed me a mirror and….ladies, I literally have goose bumps as I’m typing this….I was TRANSFORMED! Tara was FINALLY, COMPLETELY, looking back at me in the mirror! I got a little teary eyed as did Tori (and I’m doing it again right now!) Words cannot describe the joy I felt in that chair…then getting up and seeing my entire presentation in another mirror. I AM TARA!!!! Another young lady that worked there walked by and she said, Oh my god! You look BEAUTIFUL! I could not stop smiling! I settled up at the counter and gave her a huge tip, because she deserved it and told her that she may have just made my life complete!
Walking to my car, I was FLOATING on a cloud. I could NOT believe the face looking back at me and I was SOOOOO damn happy! I texted my friend and told him I was headed over to his house. When I got there, he was at the bbq grill and saw my reflection as I came in the gate. He told me later that he was going to just get used to the reflection for a minute, but then decided to ‘rip the bandaid off’ and turn around. The first words out of my mouth that still ring in my ears…..WOW! I wasn’t sure how this was going to go, but you look fantastic! I can’t tell you ladies what that meant to me. What a great friend! He offered (and I accepted happily) to take pictures of me and we took a bunch. You can see them in my public photos. We had dinner, took more pictures, I changed into another dress that I brought, we took more pictures, I changed back to the concert outfit and added some jewelry….and took more pictures 🙂
It was then time to head back to the hotel so I could change back to drab for the concert, but I got to drive all the way there, in concert traffic, as Tara and I just couldn’t have been happier! Back at the hotel, I was getting ready to take everything off…Not sure if this happens to you, but I got REALLY sad just before and during taking off my wig to go back to drab. We were kind of in a hurry, so that probably helped that I didn’t get to dwell on it, but I looked in the mirror right before I took my wig off and I didn’t want to do it. I just felt so pretty and right. And WOW, does the illusion disappear fast once the wig is off. Holy cow. I went from feeling SO pretty to bleh in a heartbeat.
I’m kicking myself a little for not just going to the show en femme. Especially since he rode in my car with me to the show and I was still 100% dressed. We could’ve walked separately and not really interacted once inside until we got to the seats. Yes, he was uncomfortable, given his status to go WITH me. As it turns out, neither of us saw anyone we knew. But, that is certainly hindsight. Chances are, if I HAD been en femme, we both would’ve run into EVERYONE we knew 🙂 I think he still wanted to go to the show with his buddy too, so we still had a great time.
It was SUCH a great night. I’m still flying high looking at myself in the pictures!
SORRY for such a MASSIVE post. I feel like I’ve just written a novel, but it’s taken me 3 days to get this all down (plus I’ve been swamped with work). Thanks for reading. It was truly my BEST DAY EVER!
*kisses* tara 🙂
Tara
That is quite simply the best and most encouraging post I have ever read on CDH! Well done – I am so proud of you and am delighted that it was such a success. It is a step I have yet to take – but I will one day.
Diane x
-
Wow! That is certainly HIGH praise! Thanks Diane!!!
Girl, beautiful Tara, you are an inspiration to all of us. You are blossoming 🌸💖
-
Thanks Tara for sharing your wonderful adventure. You are an inspiration. Next time go fully dressed. We all understand the sadness of going back drab… it sucks!
HI Tara, what a killer story! I didn’t want it to end! I put myself in your place, telling my (still) BF from HS and I just don’t think I could do it. At least not yet. You showed an incredible amount of courage and fortitude. I am in awe of you! and now your experience will be with me forever. Thank you Lady. You are an awesome woman!.
Take care.
Warmest Regards,
Jassy 🙂What a wonderful story, Tara.
I can identify with your makeover experience. It was after my first makeover that I realized that I am Stephanie. When the makeover was complete, the makeup artist put my wig on me and led me to a full-length mirror. I was amazed at the sight of the woman looking back at me. I was speechless. All I could do was give the young lady a hug. She told me that I was going to make her cry. I was so sad when it was time to get back into guy mode that I was on the verge of tears.
Good for you having the courage to come out to a non-CD friend. I hope to be able to do that one day.
- The forum ‘Personal Crossdressing Stories’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments