This topic contains 9 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by  Sarajane Potter 1 month, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #62771

    Katie Turn
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    Registered On: August 3, 2017
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    First off, I’m very glad to find a community where I can meet and learn from others like me.  I can’t imagine I’m unique, but I’m just learning to enjoy my feminine side.  I thought I might post my first article, and say hello to this wonderful place!

    Like many I’m sure, I’ve been crossdressing since, well who knows actually when.  I first really became aware of it when I moved into a college house with three female roommates.  I would see what they wore more intimately, and then run out and by some of those things myself.  For the first time, I had a private closet and I filled it up with bras, panties, and lingerie.  I loved having that space.  Yet, for most of my life it was something I did for mostly a sexual thrill.  My heart would race, I would get excited, and once that few minutes of thrill was over…I would tuck things away.   I have done that pretty much all of my life.

    Lately though, I’ve become so enlivened by the caring and calming nature of my feminine side.  I have a job, mortgage, and responsibilities.  I’m a single person, and live alone.  I get stressed and tired, and worry about the future.  One change in my life, and why I am loving this community, is that I’m finding that allowing the woman in me to come out revives me, treats me softly, and helps me find a sense of balance and calm.

    Although, the thrill of lingerie is something I enjoy, I have discovered the wonderful world of online shopping.  I often walk around the city and see women wearing things, and think I’d like to buy that, and now I do.  What’s really wonderful is that I’ve moved away from the sexual thrill, and allow myself to sink into the softness of my inner-woman.   I have drawers full of yoga pants, soft tops, pretty colored sweatshirts, and I just love to relax or do things around the house.  I often find myself feeling warm and soft, and lovely, and for the first time I relax being the woman that I am.

    I also learned something by going out dressed for the first time.  On my normal run in the morning I see women in exercise wear, and think how wonderful it must be to wear what they wear.  So, one night I decided to try it.  I live where there is a place where there is a trail along water, and it’s dark but safe.  So, I put on my yoga pants, and cute pink racerback top.  I put my man clothes over them, and headed out.  I found myself fighting that battle to calm down the sexual impulses and excitement.  When I reached the park, and it was clear, I ditched my man clothes and was for the first time, truly exposed as a woman.  I walked feeling the cool air, and freedom.  I was carrying my clothes in case someone came along.  When nobody did, I put them on a bench and did the most wonderfully free thing I have ever done; I walked away from my male side.

    What I learned was that my excitement quelled, and I felt relaxed and whole.  I was careful sure, and still experiencing a thrill, but it wasn’t about sexual excitement, it was about feeling freedom.  I just walked in the dark and felt the sensations I imagined those women in the morning feel.  I felt attractive, open, and very much myself.  I felt cared for by myself, and mostly I felt the stress of life just go away.  I did run into an older couple walking their dog, but it was too dark to make too much of anything.  And, the best part was when I got  home, I just stayed in my world of womanhood for a nice long relaxing evening.

    I’m learning to care for myself and let my womanly self deliver softness, understanding, acceptance, compassion, and wonder to my life.

     

     

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  • #70011
     Sarajane Potter 
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    Registered On: October 18, 2017
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    Katie – I am so moved by your posting.  I understand exactly what you feel when you say that it is no longer the sexual rush, but the calmness and softness you feel as a woman, and the pleasure of acknowledging your feminine side.  I have just the same experience (see my posting under crossdresser stories/the urge to crossdress) as a I get older.  I just feel I am opening up to a different, softer, more feminine side of me when I am dressed and have the right hair and make-up.  In my other posting I explain how I stopped dressing about 9 years ago when my wife found out;  but the desire has never left me, and I often think about fulfillin my desire to crossdress as a way of getting to sleep, and I often dream of being a woman.  So I certainly come alongside you in feeling and valuing and celebrating the calm of my feminine side.

    #69732
     Patty Phose 
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    Registered On: May 7, 2016
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    When I was in college and first began dressing fully femme, it was all about eroticism, dressing very sexy and looking for someone to party and play with. I bought a lot of clothes, dressed a lot and did a lot of partying and playing.

    Then after college life intervened and I donated or discarded most of my clothes. Then the kids grew up and went out on their own. The wife thought I might want to get girlie again. I tried on some old clothes I kept and showed the wife. She thought I needed some new things. We went out and bought some new clothes. I found Femme Fever and went to some of their events. I dress everyday at home and get out as often as I can even if it’s for only short errands.

    When I was young, dressing was all about eroticism and play. Now I find it relaxes me. It distracts me from real world problems that never seem to stop coming. When I’m particularly stressed, I slip on some nice pantyhose, too high heels and a too short dress. I often put on a bra with breast forms and a wig. Then I often go out. I worry about my neighbors noticing me walking from house to the car. I go anyway. Then I get somewhere. I either have to keep driving or get out of the car. There is people around but it’s a safe public place. I take a deep breath, open the car door and stick my legs out. My sexy heels are on the ground, my shiny pantyhose is gleaming in the sun. My dress is up very high revealing a lot of leg. Then I stand up. I straighten my dress which is really too short for me to be wearing out. With my heels I’m 6’6″. With my shiny pantyhose I will no doubt garner a lot of attention. I don’t blend in at all. I either have to get back in the car or shut the door and walk off. I shut the door and walk off with people all around. I mind my own business and just go about doing something. I notice some looks. Usually it’s just looks. A few weeks ago a guy called to me and began walking towards me. I just went about what I was doing, casually went back to the car, got in, drove off and waved and smiled at him as I drove past.

    I often wonder, “what am I doing?” This is crazy. But what I do notice is those things that were troubling me went away. I was focused on something else. I had fun. It was scary at times, but exciting and still a thrill and rush I can’t get from anything else.

    Dressing is as good and fun as it was in my young days but it is different.

    #69717
     Roan B 
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    Registered On: August 14, 2017
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    Such a wonderful story, thanks for sharing.

    #69495
     Tina Calloway 
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    Registered On: July 13, 2016
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    Katie,
    It’s so wonderful you are able to get to the place of feeling content and not having to hide. Keep going girl!

    Tina

    #62855
     Anonymous
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    Katie

    A wonderful post. I too am embracing my inner femme beyond the sexual thrill of cross dressing . And in male mode I still try to maintain the soft positive femme qualities I deem important. Traits like kindness compassion love and patience. And so many more . We truly become better human beings.

     

    xoxo

    Michelle

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    #62810
     Helena 
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    Registered On: August 2, 2017
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    Sorry, I meant to address you,Katie!!!

    Zoe, you inspire too, sweetie. I’m such a klutz!!!!

    Helena

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    #62808
     Helena 
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    Registered On: August 2, 2017
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    Zoe!!! Everything you say..oh, it was like reading about myself. Thank you for sharing. You are inspiring! Very happy for you, and hope to hear more from you on this great and shared journey.

    Helena

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    #62802
     Zoe Kay 
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    Registered On: June 19, 2017
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    Katie, this is so wonderful!  I love that you went running as your first time out!  And I love that you stayed on as her and enjoyed the feminine flow for hours afterwards!

    My first times out were running in a sports bra and tights with my ponytail bouncing behind me and listening to my ipod!   A close shave and a tiny bit of foundation and no one batted an eye at me, even women I’d see on the rail running in the opposite direction!   Of course I was young and very thin back then, but the feeling of calm and freedom was incredible!

    Like you, when I dress it always beings me a feeling of calmness and balance. It makes me so relaxed for hours and days afterwards.  Of course since I am bigender (meaning I switch between male and female mode – and never know when the shift will happen) the calmness and balance is also because I am able to look like the woman I feel like when I am her.  And this makes up for the unbalanced feeling I can get when I switch at work while wearing male clothes and not being able to fully express myself as the woman I feel like at the time.

    And isn’t calmness also a wonderful sign that we are doing something that is good and healthy for us?  Something we need?  Something that nourishes us?

    XX

    Zoe

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    #62777
     Lady Veronica Graunwolf 
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    Registered On: May 8, 2017
    Topics: 12
    Replies: 546

    Katie……..I am soooo happy for you. Free and full of joy at what you do. It is a very rare gift sweetie……enjoy it all you can.

    Lady Veronica

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