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So while I was on my Rona Vacation I did alot of thinking. Mostly on stupid stuff like why do those dumb cardinals flock to a bush with no leaves. I mean it is cold out there and that bush has NO protection. But I digress.
Some say 1 in 5 men crossdress. Thats a bunch. So if thats true on any given construction site of say 200 workers there is up to 40 cd’s. Now given there is probably less cd’s in construction than say in an office setting. Or maybe there is more.
My point here is we all probably know a half a dozen or more crossdressers in our day to day life. Maybe your best friend. Maybe your riding buddy. Maybe your supervisor. Who knows. If only we had that knowledge our Secret could easily be shared and enrich our lives even more.
Now here is where this kind of thinking is scary. Just the possibility of this has me wanting to find out. I want this knowledge. I need this knowledge. How great would it be to hang out with your buddy one day and your bestie the next.
Soooo…… How? You cant just walk up and say “hey bob, do you wear womens clothing.” If he does then you convey to him that he let something slip or he got caught. Then he goes into a tailspin. And rightly so. Obviously he is going to say NO. As would I if asked. Maybe I could say ” hey bob, I would love to meet a cd, know any” ok well now your an oddball and maybe my cheese slid off my cracker. Or I could just set him down and tell him I am a CD and risk a friendship at worst or find a dressing sister at best. If 1 in 5 is close to true thats a 20% roll of the dice. Not good odds.
So I put it to you. What is that knowledge worth to you ladies. Because honestly I dont know what its worth to me. But I want it.
💋
Trisha.
So let me add an addendum to this post.
I meant for this to be a fun “what if ” thread and not so much of a “creeper” or “fact checking” or heaven forbid a “go out and find em” thread.
Please understand I would never recommend that anyone start researching others in the hope to find a CD close to home.
Just a fun what if post. Thought provoking and interesting to ponder
💘
Trisha
Hi Trisha, there are little things you can look for (but don’t get caught staring too long for as you say the cheese will definitely slide off your cracker). For example, do any of your co-workers have a bra strap bulge on their back? or bra strap lines over the shoulders? How about wearing clear nail polish – despite it being clear it can be seen. or wearing androgynous clothing? or panty lines? Jewelry that may be a bit too feminine? Makeup especially a light coloured lip gloss? wearing a flowery scent? I’m sure others will provide other suggestions for you. Stay safe, stay healthy, All the Best, Hugs, Krista.
I sometimes wonder about friends and co-workers myself. I’m willing to bet a few of them crossdress. But I don’t feel a need to find out. It’s none of my business. If and when they’re ready to tell me, that’s when I’ll find out. If it happens I’d be honored. I’ll have met a new sister.
I hope anyone reading this isn’t seriously thinking about digging into someone’s personal life. Don’t. You need a really good reason for that. This isn’t. How would you feel if you discovered a friend was investigating you? I’d be creeped out. Friendship over.
I hope what I said didnt imply that I was going to research all my friends. Because that is not what this post is about. I simply found it fascinating to think about. I have seen several posts here that touches on finding/meeting cd friends. This is a new twist on that same desire to share this part of ourselves with others. And who honestly doesnt want to share the wonderful woman we become with others.
Trisha
Trisha…
Or… you could say, it doesn’t matter to me… people are people no matter what and only circumstances that you have no control over will give you a sight of something hidden.
Some while ago I just started saying to myself… “ you confuse me with someone who cares”. That was… was an undeniable freedom from trying to fathom out stuff that one has no control over what others think or do. Freedom at last!
Most builders I knew were guilty of builders crack that panty lines and I’m sure that the statistics are skewed in the mind of the statistician . They always ask the questions that will fulfil there own prejudices. Remember the famous quote “… there are lies, damned lies and statistics…”.
One in five? Them’s very high odds. Keep your cheese slices on your crackers and let life take its course.Love Polly xx
I have often wondered at what the true number really is for a long, long time myself. There have been some times that I actively look for other sister’s that are out shopping at the same time as I am, either dressed or drab. I have ‘read’ only a very few girls out shopping and dressed, and even fewer that were drab.
There is really no ‘tell’ that I have seen that says 100% that a man is one of us. I have looked for the obvious: shaven arms, high trimmed side burns, mannerisms, etc. The compelling desire for secrecy that CD’s develop is very hard to pierce in just a passing encounter though. SO’s and spouses figure it out mostly through minor glitches they may notice in their day to day life with a practicing CD that eventually add up. But just casual encounters usually don’t pierce the protective cloak we draw around us.
Sister’s out dressed can be much easier to spot since we know the signs. But it would still be a privacy invasion to acknowledge them with more than a smile and a nod or wink and maybe a passing hello. I don’t just stare and ‘bird dog’ someone as that is rude and may even be considered as threatening.
PaulaF
Hi
I think we have a slight advantage because we can look for things in people that we hide, disguise or actually do, to ourselves.
but there’s no way I am going to tell a group of 100 people ( especially people I know ) that I crossdress, to find the twenty that do…..for me that would be nothing short of social suicide!!!
20 crossdressers, 5 that love me for it and 75 that think i am sick and hate me, is not the odds I would gamble on!
happy how things are, not so much cheese, but definitely crackers!!!
Grace xx
For the last couple of years I’ve taken to dressing on the feminine side in public. Not blatentey so but always women’s jeans or shorts, tank tops, t shirts, belts, perfume, jewelry, sometimes even a little eye shadow. Subtle enough that some people won’t notice but I’m sure many do. I don’t push it or flaunt it, I just go on about my business. I’m friendly, easy to talk to. I’ve always hoped that it would inspire others to take a chance and make some kind of comment or strike up a conversation. But to this day not one friend, one client, or even one stranger has said a word. Most I’ve gotten is a couple of knowing smiles from a couple of GGs and of course a few obligatory dirty looks. No one is willing to take the chance even when the odds are extremely high that I would be receptive. I live in a city of 1.5 million people and I can count on one hand the number of CDs I know personally and call friends. I’m about as “out” as I’m going to get at this point in my life but I guess it’s just not enough. Sigh. Guess I’ll never get to know who that 20% are.
I would like to know,
But not to the point as grace said of outing myself to all the ones that are not.
It just makes me feel better and I’m sure all of us to know we are not alone and not as abnormal as society wants us to feel at times.
That’s the beauty of this site being around friends that accept and like us for who we are without any judgment.
It made me so happy to be out shopping and see another crossdresser.
I wanted to run up and hug them and tell her how great she looked
If course they would think I’m a total lunatic.
Maybe I am.😁
There is only one acquaintance I have where its not so much that I think they might be, but that if they were they would be stunning. The parallel I picked up on is that there are aspects of my drab appearance that derive from regularly crossdressing that this other person is far more meticulous about than I am, not to mention more naturally gifted. It takes a lot more to make a friendship click than just having crossdressing in common though, so I don’t see that knowing either way about him or anyone else would do me a lot of good. Only the isolation of covid could make me wonder about this – We need the ability to gather again so that being en femme can just be a given, and the question can be about finding the right friends among them.
I decided to “come out” as a cross dresser a few weeks ago and contacted various friend and relatives. I also got in touch with Linda of http://www.ingirlmode.com who helped me considerably when I started cross dressing. We talked about her clients and where they might live and she said that she knew several in my area and would ask them if it was okay for her to pass on contact details. The next thing I know is that I get an email from Samantha who lives in the next block of flats! We have been corresponding by email, chatting on the phone and sharing emails. How good is that?
HRxxSo let me add an addendum to this post.
I meant for this to be a fun “what if ” thread and not so much of a “creeper” or “fact checking” or heaven forbid a “go out and find em” thread.
Please understand I would never recommend that anyone start researching others in the hope to find a CD close to home.
Just a fun what if post. Thought provoking and interesting to ponder
💘
Trisha
This is an important issue for me. In all of my searching I have yet to find anything reliable on the prevalence of Masculine-to-Feminine cross-dressing.
Some issues that need to be resolved is what would be mean by ‘cross-dressing’ in that context. I would exclude brief, youth experimentation; female impersonation and paraphiliac attachments to specific fetishes or ‘under dressing’. Rather I would be interested in how what percentage of males develop a feminine persona on a regular and wholistic level.
The reason for my exclusion is that I would be seeking not the temporarily curious, solely sexually infatuated or persons who feminize as a part of their vocation. Rather I feel that the desire to be feminine (and it is important not to confuse this with necessarily a desire to be female) is far more prevalent amongst males than is known.
A difficulty with assessing the prevalence of cross-dressing is the fact that males are unlikely to be forthright about the matter. Thus the accuracy of any survey may well be compromised by frequent mendacity. Any such survey would have to be designed to ‘sneak up’ on the question in a way to promote a distinct and honest answer. Also, it would have to be conducted in widely-dispersed, geographic areas with good sample sizes. A difficult and expensive undertaking.
I really want to understand this but, I suppose, until male-feminization becomes ‘normalized’ getting that information will be impossible.
Araminta.
Hi Aramita
I just wonder where I fit in your discussion. I’m a crossdresser since childhood. And I love it. I don’t have a desire to be feminine, I am feminine, so says all the girls I know. They feel it instantly when they meet me, they say. I’m transgender so I take it as a compliment.
Funny thing, no man has ever called me feminine. Don’t they sense it, are they afraid they will hurt me or do they talk behind my back?
Hugs
Lily-Rose
Hi, Lily Rose.
At a guess I would think that you were a gender invariant, feminine male. There are other factors and it is not always that simple but the key seems to be the early recognition of your femininity and the sense of ‘properness’ in presenting that gender. Also I would defer to the girls’ evaluation as likely being accurate and the men who fail to remark upon it as being too shy or obtuse. In essence you are probably a woman and happier as such. This does not mean that you cannot exhibit masculine traits or behaviours as gender is not that tightly linked to one’s sex.
Unlike myself you would likely prefer to maintain a stable and ongoing gender presentation where I tend to transit between femininity and masculinity, more as a matter of opportunity than anything actually.
If I met you I would probably be inclined to see you as a woman.
Araminta.
Many construction workers wear pantyhose as it helps combat tired legs.
I also worked with a carpenter who painted his nails bold colors so he could see where his hands were when he was nailing. I have since met one other who does the same. (Both guys are not cross dressers as we would understand cding.)
Anyways. It asks the question. Is cding more than just wearing clothing?
Wow.. ‘Is CDing more that just wearing the clothing?’… This is a rhetorical question isn’t it?
While I can’t speak for anyone else, Absolutely it is more than just the clothing for me. This is also why I think it bothers our wives so much. They know that it’s so much more than just the clothes. What gives it away, perhaps the sighs, the smiles or the happy twinkle in our eyes. Perhaps the tears at movies… Who knows! But I can say from meeting CDs in the real world that there’s something there that’s obvious that this is something that is ‘just right’ for each of us. Seeing that from someone else is easier than seeing it in yourself, but I’m sure it’s there for each of us.
Either that, or I’m a lot further along my path that I thought and it’s a denial mechanism.
-Molly.
I think crossdressing is different for each lady that does it. I dont think it has to be more than just the clothes and I also think it doesnt have to be limited to the clothes. To define what crossdressing means for all into one short sentence is no different than the LGBT community excluding CD because we dont meet thier requirements. Just my thoughts
Trisha.
I’m not sure your percentages are verifiable. While I’d like to believe 20% of men are crossdressers (I’ll explain later) I don’t think it’s anywhere that high. Numbers Ive seen are more like 2 – 3 %. That being said I do believe society IS becoming more accepting but I don’t think just asking others without careful thought is a good idea. Good way to get punched in the nose! I do believe more men are starting to realize they have a feminine side but most don’t know what to do with it yet. Society changes SLOWLY.
I don’t do it anymore, because of the mask-wearing requirement, plus I don’t socialize since COVID changed all our lives. However, pre COVID, when out cross dressed, I used to wear a name tag with my fem name, and underneath, “Ask Me About Cross Dressing.” You can still see that name tag in a few of my older CDH photos.
My point? The name tag was mostly a conversation starter with women who would express their approval of my cross dressing or tell me about their experience with a CD they knew or dated at one time. Very few men would ever say anything and even then very little. One guy told me he had a friend who went to the Keystone Conference.
Sometimes I could sense if a guy was sort of interested in learning more, and I would casually mention the CDH web site.
Like somebody else mentioned though, IMHO, I don’t think there are many of us every where we go, but that being said, men are coming more to realize they do have female parts to their personalities. They just don’t know what to do about it and how far they should go expressing it.
Hi Trisha
Why not 1 of 5 on a construction site? I have found several soldiers/ex-soldiers that are cross dressing. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
In my profession there can’t be too many crossdressers, I’m a nurse and the majority of the hospital staff are women. But on the other hand, how many of the girls are crossdressers? Here it’s a little bit unfair, if a woman dresses like a man, it’s natural, nobody reacts. If a man dresses like a woman, he’s a crossdresser. I love being a crossdresser.
And how many of the male nurses are like me, transgender?
Trisha, this is meant to be a little provocative and read with a smile 😀😀
Hugs
Lily-RoseWhy not look at this from just a little different perspective. The two single women that live on either side of me are both single and straight. Both are GG, one a little older, the other about 6 or 7 years younger than me. Both women know I am T, but have no problem with it. The next houses outside of our core trio has one younger married couple that know I am T, and they are both pretty non-commital either way about it. Then a divorced, single male, on the other end of our 5 household line. He is definitely str8 and not friendly with me at all, but gets along well with the others. So, seeing our little slice of society, that makes me ‘THE ONE’.
There are two more houses on our side of the street, but are unoccupied, and seven on the other side. As far as I know, 1: I am the only person who can be considered gay, and 2: the only obvious T person on the block. By the 1 in 5 ratio, there should be at least 1 if not 2 other CD/T persons living in the area.
Alas, all of my observations over 30 years have revealed absolutely no one who share in the same lifestyle as myself. Just makes me wonder how deeply they are shrouded from the world, or just how accurate the polls really are.
PaulaF
Paula
So as you thought about it and applied it to your neighborhood did you at any point go, hmmm which one. Thats what I did. It fascinates me to contemplate. For the record, it did say men, women where excluded from the stat but as far as I’m concerned all women practise a form of crossdressing as soon as they slip on thier husband/boyfriends t shirt. My question to you is did you enjoy the thought process. I sure did.
Trisha
Oh yes Trisha, I have set out on my porch and just people watched many, many times. Most of those, I had no agenda, but the times I actively looked at my neighbors, or listened to some of the gossip also, usually came after reading an article or seeing something on TV about just how many people were supposed to be gay or T or Les. Those choice bits of information were from “The Experts” and were holy gospel to the statisticians and data miners. Every time they spoke up, we ordinary folks were supposed to listen and pay attention to the facts, much as we are today with C19 facts which change week to week.
I am one of those people who don’t accept expert facts and opinions at face value. My mother taught me to question and to seek my own answers. So I sometimes sit on my porch or on a bench at the mall or in the park, and just people watch. I do it when I am shopping to, as that is when most people have their guard down, and you really see some interesting quirks of our fellow humans. I don’t follow or harass people, and the time I usually spend watching a single person is usually just minutes at the most. Body language can tell you a lot more then you think if you just watch.
I do watch men and women, and the kids too, they can give a good laugh sometimes. 4 of the 14 houses are rental properties, so we do have a modest turn over in the demographics of the block, so that gives me new people to look at and try to figure out, and some of the women new gossip matter and speculation. I have had one woman actually tell me to keep my eyes off of her husband after she found out my preference in FWB. It wasn’t the fact that I am CD/T, she knew that.
One odd thing I have noticed though, from straight folk, is that there is usually not a distinction between CD and Trans. They tend to lump us all in one group for whatever reason. It does make for an interesting conversation when you try to explain the difference to them too. The kids are a whole different group. They see you for you, I am Ms. F or just Paula to them, no conditions or standards set to show us as different.
PaulaF
Yeah, I would love to know someone who crossdresses as well. I do not know anyone else beside all of you. It would be nice to go shopping with someone else on occasion or just to chat. If I discovered a friend of mine was also into this I would be so relived.
Holly
I would like to believe there are many more CDs out and about in my town.
I have seen 2 people at the store that I believe are CD, but how do you approach?
If you make any comment showing you expect them as a CD their confidence could fall. How do you let them know you are as CD with out risk of being outed beyond the level you are comfortable with.
As for work there are several hundred men working there. I have noticed a few shaved arms, or chests under uniform shirts. But not willing to take the risk of asking.
Paula
Hi all,
One last visit to this thread for me. It’s been bugging me that I couldn’t track down anything ‘authoritative’ on numbers / percentages of transgenders, apart from pop science web sites – which I’m sorry just don’t count.
All of sudden this site came up:
How Many Adults Identify as Transgender in the United States? – Williams Institute (ucla.edu)
A solid academic survey, a little bit dated now ( the dataset is from 2014), but the findings were 1.4 million or 0.6% of the US population. It’s quite possible that this value has increased over 7 years in a more accepting society – but that would be pure speculation.
If you go to the link above, you can then download the full report to see how your own state compares. It includes the methodology used, and even provides its definition of the term ‘transgender’ for interviewers to use if the interviewee asks for one.
Marti x
Nice find. Thank you.
But the stats wasnt really the point of my post. It was more of a “I wonder how many people I know that crossdress.”
Trisha
– yes, I understand, Trisha. It’s just the nerd in me trying to drill down to clarify statistics.
“My question is: what exactly did they consider as “crossdressing” when rendering this statistic?”
– exactly my thought. Statistics is a valuable mathematical discipline, but can be a murky field. At at what point on the spectrum do we stop including people in the stats? As an atheist I have no problems going to church carol services. Should my attendance be included in the stat on how many christians go to church?
I agree it sounds high. And as Polly said, the parameters can be skewed to make every man a CD as well as skewed so that gors to 1 in 500,000.
I just found the 1 in 5 kind of an odd number to fall upon because who among us cannot immediately apply that to our circle of friends.
I actually have 4 people I socialize with as a group consistently. I make 5. Boom
Agreed. And please understand that I had the same thought. But as I said in another reply. 1 in 5 applies to most of us directly. I found it odd and yet so easy to run with it because of the simple math and prospects.
Obviously this all speculation and I meant for this to be thought provoking not so much fact checking. More of a fun topic as opposed to a debate.
Trisha
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