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  • #451750
    Olivia Livin
    Participant
    Registered On: October 22, 2018
    Topics: 43
    Replies: 1560
    Has thanked: 7373 times
    Been thanked: 3970 times

    You know the one, the guideline in the terms of use that some say restricts our free speech on the site.

    It comes up from time to time, sometimes interupting and overtaking the thread of an otherwise innocent member.

    I have in the past been an offender and do on occassion step close to edge, for which I was corrected. Although it was difficult at the time, I do concede the point and fully agree that it makes for a safer place for us all to fully enjoy.  At the time, I distanced myself in anger and weighed my options. I concluded that not being a member was a much larger cost. Our current ambassadors from what I’ve witnessed do allow minor transgressions and try to correct further actions in a professional way before things get out of hand.

    We are invited to be part of this wonderful community. By accepting that invitation, you in turn agree to their terms of use as is true for almost any group. The line has to drawn somewhere, and as a private entity it is theirs to draw where they deem necessary. One of the differences is that they are monitored and enforced here, for the benefit of everybody. You’ve probably seen what some of the others have become.

    Yes, I do agree that there are some subjects that do actually relate directly to some CD and trans persons that fall on the far side of that line unfortunately, it really doesn’t take much to recognize others within the group that might share some of the same thoughts you do.  In which case you could simply PM them to discuss it further or trade e-mails or numbers for ongoing communications, which I have done on occassion.

    I don’t want to see us lose good members, particularly if its simply over an avoidance of colouring within the lines. Please take the time to consider the consequences to yourself, other members who would likely miss you and the things you share, and those who might disagree or be hurt with a possibly argumentative passage or stance you are trying to make.

    Rant over, Hugs all around

    💋Olivia

     

     

Viewing 11 reply threads
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    • #452623
      Genevïéve
      Lady
      Registered On: July 28, 2020
      Topics: 22
      Replies: 791
      Has thanked: 7057 times
      Been thanked: 3292 times

      “Hi….. my name is Gen, and I’m an Ex-Offender…”

      You are 100% right Olivia. The line has to be drawn somewhere…

      I was very hurt when my posts, my thoughts, were censored. As a result, I got a tad snarky. I too was put in the corner of the ‘CDH Correctional Facility’ to reflect on my behavior.

      During that ‘time out’, I realized that we are ‘Guests’ (so to speak) on CDH. We need to mind our P’s and Q’s.

      CDH is a wonderful haven for us girls. There is no other quite like it. The Admins/Ambassadors do a superb job of keeping us safe. Thank you for your efforts and making CDH possible…

      Peace and L❤VE

      Gen ❤

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #452706
        Olivia Livin
        Lady
        Registered On: October 22, 2018
        Topics: 43
        Replies: 1560
        Has thanked: 7373 times
        Been thanked: 3970 times

        Gen

        “Hi, I’m ex offender” lmao I love that!

        I have never been one to accept” because I said so” without proper backup for it, and threats just get my back up even more.

        At the time of my offense, I was standing up for the right to discuss a subject that is relevant to some here, not myself actually, but it was also very upsetting for quite a few others. It was rough and tumble for a bit between myself, some members on both sides of the issue, and admin of the site. It was “Tifftastic”(miss them), one of our former ambassadors who took the time to reach out to me personally (which on its own, made a difference) and reasoned with me through ongoing and understanding messages, helping me to better understand the position and positive goals of this wonderful site.

        I wasn’t sent to the correctional corner, but instead put myself in exile to ponder all that had happened. I noticed that the subject had created rifts between ladies who otherwise been friends, taking away some of the needed support network and frankly I missed being involved with so many other positive spirits.

        I think that I’m mostly reformed, although not perfect in any way.

        You girls are  awesome!

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #452602
      Inga Krasivaya
      Lady
      Registered On: January 18, 2021
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 241
      Has thanked: 273 times
      Been thanked: 766 times

      Doing my not-that-many-minutes-before-I-fall-asleep bit for the day……  I can’t do anything but agree with the praise for the administrators – it must be a horrible job to have to do.  Only problem is that inevitably their job has to be reactive in nature… unless there could be some way of instituting a short delay between the posting of a note and it’s appearance on the site?  That would give them a brief period in which to prevent offence, though it would inevitably make their job even worse than at the moment.  Once (if?) I start feeling better I have to decide whether to carry on with the site or leave forever; the latter is far, far more likely than the former;  no administrator could have prevented the incident leading to this situation as things stand – but it’s like Stephanie said; “once said, and read, can’t be unsaid.”  And now it’s been read, it can’t be forgotten……  Whatever; please treasure your administrators – they are there for you and are worth their weight in gold (though I’m sure they are all so slim and feminine that their weight wouldn’t be high enough to generate any major outgoings!)  Now; no energy left bar for cleaning my teeth – love you all.  Inga.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #452568
      Sa•man•tha
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
      Topics: 429
      Replies: 1742
      Has thanked: 7648 times
      Been thanked: 6888 times

      Liv darling, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  You understand how it is…!

      Some people seem to regard me or even talk to me as tho I’m Hitler, “thought police” whatever…nothing could be further (fuehrer? lol) from the truth, i know how it is.  We all do.

      CDH is meant to be a family friendly support site for crossdressers, that’s it.  We’re not Fetlife or Twitter.  “Keep it classy” “Up outta the ditch” that’s all we ask.  If you wouldnt bash on your Sisters here, why would you bash on the staff??  We’re just like you.

       In which case you could simply PM them to discuss it further or trade e-mails or numbers for ongoing communications, which I have done on occassion.

      Exactly.  When you come into the forum or the chat, this is a public social setting.  You’re at lunch with the ladies.  If you wouldnt behave like a jackwagon in that setting , don’t do it in this one either!  Go to wall post, pm or e-mail instead.  Easy peasy.

       

       

      • #452700
        Stevie Steiner
        Ambassador
        Registered On: June 11, 2020
        Topics: 42
        Replies: 969
        Has thanked: 4611 times
        Been thanked: 5001 times

        Aww, Sammy, you’re much cuter than Hitler 😅.   You are spot on again.  Theres no need or place for any sort of stuff that doesn’t belong in a support site.  This heaven should have but one commandment:  Respect Thy Fellow Sister.

         

         

        3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #452603
        Dawn Wyvern
        Ambassador
        Registered On: February 23, 2019
        Topics: 5
        Replies: 236
        Has thanked: 227 times
        Been thanked: 962 times

        As one of the Admin team on here, may I say on behalf of us all, thank you to all who have posted supportive comments.

        As Sa*man*tha has all ready said all the things which I want to say in her own words, all I can do is reenforce that we try and keep the site ‘classy’ and ‘family friendly’, and this is what makes it so valuable, as there are many sites out there which fall well below this standard and cater for a different clientele.

        Having said that, it is the contribution from the members who set the tone and keep the site forums and chat rooms alive and vibrant, we admin just nudge the tiller every now and then as and when needed.

        Hugs

        Dawn x

        Admin, (and Matron ! )

    • #452550
      Deborah Sullivan
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 27, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 524
      Has thanked: 2234 times
      Been thanked: 2037 times

      I like CDH for the fact that it keeps the drooling horn dogs out and gives us a place to share serious thoughts and be ourselves

      • #452578
        Grace Scarlett
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: February 16, 2021
        Topics: 8
        Replies: 244
        Has thanked: 846 times
        Been thanked: 1163 times

        …”drooling horn dogs”…😂😂😂

        2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #452587
          stephanie plumb
          Baroness - Annual
          Registered On: November 17, 2018
          Topics: 132
          Replies: 1613
          Has thanked: 2507 times
          Been thanked: 7091 times

          Excessive drooling in dogs is called ……..    wait for it …………..  Horners syndrome!  I wonder if that’s where “drooling horn dogs” comes from?

          hehe , Steph xx

          3 users thanked author for this post.
        • #452584
          Krista
          Duchess
          Registered On: January 24, 2017
          Topics: 5
          Replies: 401
          Has thanked: 719 times
          Been thanked: 1606 times

          Those drooling horn dogs do exist!!!!  I was on another CD site a few years ago.  They encouraged members to post a foto; so I did.  Then I had a request to chat from another member.  I responded.  What a mistake.  It was one of those drooling horn dogs.  He was not a CD but a CD pursuer.  He wanted me to meet him in Las Vegas.  He’d put me up in a hotel and wanted me to be his submissive.  OMG.  He would not take NO for an answer, even after I told him I was married and not interested in any sort of a sub-relationship.  I had to get off of that site, tried deleting all my info (but I noticed I couldn’t delete my foto so be wary).  I came back to the safety of CDH.  I’m so glad the management team here catches and boots off those trolls as quickly as possible.  Hugs to all, Krista.

          6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #452484
      Rowena Gold
      Lady
      Registered On: February 3, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 73
      Has thanked: 1388 times
      Been thanked: 252 times

      Thank you Olivia and everyone who has responded.

      Moderating any online forum is not a job that I am capable of doing for the simple reason that I am way too opinionated for my own good. That is why I admire and respect those who do it here in a way that seems to embody the spirit of kindness and compassion that is the hallmark of CDH.

      Nowhere else on the internet have I encountered anything quite like here. This feels like our family room where we can be together in harmony and share the positive and negative aspects of our lives in an atmosphere of gentle uncritical affection for each other. We can reach out if we are troubled or uncertain or just expressing our doubts and fears about ourselves and there will be others who will understand and offer comfort and warmth in return.

      CDH is unique in what it offers and those lines are drawn to keep us safe just as a parent will set boundaries to keep their children safe. Here we can play nicely and have nice things and that is made possible by those who gently and kindly maintain the lines.

      So this is my long winded way of saying a heartfelt thank you to everyone who ensures that CDH is very welcoming place for all of us.

      Warm hugs

      Rowena 👩🏻‍🦳

    • #452391
      Hilda Beaumont
      Duchess
      Registered On: March 14, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 186
      Has thanked: 443 times
      Been thanked: 668 times

      CDH is unique in that its values embrace kindness, love, support and openness with regard to almost any issue a sister chooses to raise. When any of us over steps the mark, which is rare but easy to do that when one is het up, the editorial team deal with the situation firmly and kindly with a minimum of fuss. For me as a cross dresser there is just no other place to be. If CDH disappeared it would leave a great hole in my life. I so value all the sisters here and what they have to say.
      Love and hugs
      HildaRuth 💋💋

    • #452384
      Grace Scarlett
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: February 16, 2021
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 244
      Has thanked: 846 times
      Been thanked: 1163 times

      Hi Olivia.

      Totally agree….the bottom line being, there has to be a bottom line or we decend into chaos….

      As a support site, its second to none, and it’s policed by Angels….

      Every time they intervene, it always seems to me to be timely, and if a post is closed, I can usually see why, before it goes too far….you can usually see the way it’s heading…

      Okay some posts are ambushed by humour mongers…and I’m as guilty as anyone, but I wouldn’t dream of intentionally insulting anyone…it’s just the way I am….laughter really is the BEST medicine….be happy

      Grace, Famous Naughty Corner resident xxxx

       

    • #452348
      LisaT
      Lady
      Registered On: January 31, 2021
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 131
      Has thanked: 99 times
      Been thanked: 593 times

      Thank you Olivia for the kind reminder of what makes CDH such a special place. It is of course the people but it’s also the well constructed guidance and framework that guides us and keeps this the gentle loving place it is.

      hugs

       

      Lisa xxx

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #452346
      Autumn Valiant
      Duchess
      Registered On: July 14, 2019
      Topics: 33
      Replies: 1144
      Has thanked: 17320 times
      Been thanked: 2985 times

      Hi Liv!

      Nicely said for a rant.

      I am sure it’s just “the man” keeping us in our place.

      See what I did there? Lol

      All kidding aside…

      The ambassadors here do a fantastic job of keeping CDH the wonderful accepting place that it is.

      Sometimes there will be differences of opinion. I have witnessed a few. Ladies just have to remember what’s right or what works for some or most doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. There is never a good reason to be unkind.

      Thank you ambassadors!

      Thank you kind ladies!

      Hugs

      Autumn

       

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #451915
      Anya Carpathia
      Registered On: February 16, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 18
      Has thanked: 25 times
      Been thanked: 104 times

      Well stated and I will bear that in mind – stealing other people’s thunder or their whisper is, perhaps rather mean or cruel. Thank you, well timed and tactful. Needed that…. will put that on a stickie note on my comp ! : )
      Anya

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #451906
      stephanie plumb
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 17, 2018
      Topics: 132
      Replies: 1613
      Has thanked: 2507 times
      Been thanked: 7091 times

      This is my kind of rant! Well done Olivia. 100% in agreement.

      I too am an ex-offender, and made to sit in the corner of the CDH correctional facility, to reflect on my behaviour. And I too will probably push the boundaries – but not with intent to offend, insult or inflame.

      But we don’t know if we unintentionally push buttons and pull triggers, so there will be the odd backfire.

      My mantra is “Think before you ink”  and I wear my “Be kind”  T-shirt when I am at the keyboard. I guess I am a reformed girl.

      I like the expressions “Don’t say anything on-line you wouldn’t say to someone’s face.”   and “Once said, and read, can’t be unsaid.”

      Hugs, Steph xx

    • #451798
      Katey Doe
      Lady
      Registered On: February 3, 2021
      Topics: 26
      Replies: 514
      Has thanked: 1270 times
      Been thanked: 1492 times

      That was a good rant. I hope if I get close to the line that someone will say something to me. I’m not the kind of person who would knowingly upset someone. Hugs Katey

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