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When I was first discovering this side of myself, I was a preteen. I would steal my mom’s or my sister’s clothes. It scratched an itch, but it wasn’t entirely fulfilling. When I got older, through high school and college, I never dressed. I never really forgot about it, I just suppressed the urges and slowly forgot.
It wasn’t until my girlfriend (now wife), moved in with each other and I had access to a wardrobe of women’s clothing that I started feeling the urges again. Luckily, at the same time, my wife was discovering things about herself so telling her that I was a CD wasn’t as awkward as I was afraid it would have been. That was 8 years ago, and even then it wasn’t fulfilling, just a phase of more self-discovery.
Since then, I’ve moved into a house in my home town, I’ve been working on a career for 5 years, and I’ve been in a place in my life where I can finally explore this side of me without inhibition. Where I can buy my own clothes, wigs, make up, cosmetics, everything I need. All the while, among the many talents my wife has, she is also training to be a certified make up artist.
Last October, we set a date. I shaved head (well, face) to toe. I picked out 2 outfits: one legging long-sleeve t-shirt combo, and one red, skin tight mini dress and black velvet wedge heels (still my favorite outfit ever!). I got a corset, breast forms, a long black wavy wig: the whole nine yards. The whole process took about an hour and a half
When my wife finished, she gave me a big hug and said “go look in the mirror.” I did and my jaw hit the floor. She made me look gorgeous! 100% I looked like an entirely different person, well at least to what I’m used to seeing myself as. I felt different. I felt beautiful. Never once could I have described myself that way.
There were so many feelings swirling inside me. My eyes watered a bit, but I stood tall, in my wedge heels and my mini dress. I looked myself up and down in the mirror, enjoying and admiring. Then, I looked myself in my smokey eyes, and said “Hello. I’m Vanessa. Nice to meet you.”
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