- This topic has 21 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by
.
- Posts
I have been reflecting on my journey as Paulette. It seems as if it can be best explained by describing the relationship between her, and the man she shares a body with, by comparing it to the girl who moves next door. Of course it didn’t start out that way in fact she was:
The Girl in a Distant Country: During a fifty-year period, Paulette was just a memory. It was as if she was the foreign girlfriend of a GI who returned home from overseas. She would occasionally come to his mind, but family, work and everyday life would eventually make her only a memory.
The Girl in a Neighboring State: Three years ago, when Paulette came back into my life, it was at first as if she was living in a neighboring state. I would occasionally see her, but because of distance not as frequently as I would have liked.
The Girl in the Same Town: As she became more a part of my life it was like she moved to the same town. I would see her more frequently and when we met we would have some very good times together.
The Girl Next Door: The day came when she moved into a neighboring apartment in the same building. She was much more involved in my life as a close neighbor and friend.
The Girl in the Same Apartment but Separate Bedrooms: As our relationship grew we shared an apartment with separate bedrooms. The interaction was much more dynamic and pleasant but there was still that barrier of a wall between us.
The Girl in the Same Bedrooms and the Same Bed: Then the day came where we not only shared the same bedroom, but the same bed with the intimacy only lovers can have.
The Girl Inside Me: Now she/me are one in the same, sharing everything together and it is wonderful, all in the course of three short years!
Have any of you girls experienced this, and if so where are you in your relationship with your feminine side? Is she still living in a distant country or is she moving closer to you?It’s an excellent dissertation.
You are a twin spirit.In my case, she’s been with me for a long time. Now, she is a lot more visible.
Hi Dani,
I feel I know where you are coming from because it is my story. Why I waited so long to let Paulette have free rein in my life is in many ways a shame. I have become such a better person because of her, so much so my wife, family and friends have all commented on how much ‘gentler’ my interactions with others have become (I was somewhat of a “my way or the highway “firebrand)!
I know I tend to harp on the subject, but I feel this is where most men fall short, by not letting their feminine natures have more influence in their lives. It certainly has helped me.
Merry Christmas, Hugs, PauletteI found myself in similar situation…the male side needed to be “right and In charge”. The female needed to be social, wants to accommodate and build family, something the male side never wanted.
From two, we become one…but the two parts – including all the inheritance of chromosomes that make us who we are – are still alive, well and influencing the ‘final product’…
My girl is my girlfriend. She was the girl I wanted and although there were others, she was the one for me. I imagined what she should look like and how she should dress. I would buy her things but she didn’t come round much so the clothes remained hidden in the drawers. My family and friends couldn’t understand why I didn’t have long relationships. I would say I know the one that I want. When I realised that I could spend more time with her I started to buy her a few more things but she was still hidden from my family as I wondered whether they would approve.
One day I decided that I should get my own place and she came around more often. It became a regular thing and she decided to move in. I bought her wardrobes and allowed her more space for her things. We would go out occasionally but I didn’t want her to be seen by my family just yet until I was sure. It was a happy relationship though and really blossomed as she began to look like the girl of my dreams.. Eventually I couldn’t hide her any more and I told my family and any doubts I had vanished as she was accepted. The relationship grew from there and is stronger than ever. My friends were introduced to her and they embraced her.
She is now the main breadwinner and has taken over the home. My friends are her friends and any new people will only know her now.
I have the woman I always dreamed of and I am so proud of her and I love showing her to the world.
Paulette, this is beautiful!
No doubt a teaser for your upcoming autobiography. I look very much forward to it, signed of course!
This um… is real close to home. I wonder if this is why I like being alone; but we’re not really, are we?
And to think I could have gone on Facebook and seen what my 2nd cousin ate for lunch. What was I thinking??
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, my dear!
Love, Barb 🙂
Hi Barb, We ALL have a book in us, which is why I tend to ‘pester’ people to write down their life’s experiences. I worked for a major TV network where we had a fellow (and his successor) who would take an average person at random and highlight their life’s story. I am sure you know who I am talking about. It really pointed out we all have a story! Merry Christmas, My Sister and Friend, Hugs, Paulette
Dear Paulette ,
My male and Female half live together in me.
Balance is the magic word.
My Feminine side is closest to my hart.
That’s why I am here on CDH.
To celebrate my Femme half.
To show Sylvia to my fellow Rainbow-Girls.Love Sylvia.
Hi Sylvia, It really is a “yin-yang sort of thing isn’t it in that our dual natures tend to complement and enhance one another. I hold to the belief that so many problems in the world are a result of men NOT being willing to allow that feminine nature (we all have) to have more say in their lives! Hugs, Paulette
Her clothes share My closet and we sleep together for the most part but sometimes she gets frustrated and goes on a vacation by herself and there have been times I wondered if she was coming home.. but these episodes have been less frequent, I think she likes it here, she knows she is in My Heart….
Paulette, thanks so much for sharing that – just beautiful!
For me, it went directly and abruptly from ‘girl in a distant country that I never spoke to but only saw once from a distance’ to ‘girl in the same bedroom and same bed.’ And frankly, I’m surprised at how quickly I invited her in 🙂
Marcellette
Hi Marcellette,
Thank you so much for sharing this. It sounds like your journey has been a lot quicker because you were able to embrace your femininity sooner and without reservation.I have been curious to know just what other girls have experienced in their journey. I am learning for some the road has been rocky, while for others it has been a smooth highway. Either way the journey can be just as much fun as the destination (if we let it).
Have a very Merry Christmas, Dear Lady!
Hugs, Paulette
Hi Dee, Isn’t it interesting how our relationship with our ‘other self’ can grow to where it no longer has that barrier between our masculine and feminine personalities, but becomes a soft and gentle merging of our dual nature into one. I love it because it has certainly made me a better person. Have a Merry Christmas! Hugs, Paulette
Thanks for sharing your story Paulette. Interesting topic and way to reflect on your journey to self discovery. For a big part of my life, that shadowy girl was a contradiction of who I thought I was. She was someone that I totally rejected, I constantly struggled to abandon her. When I allowed her in my life, I felt whole with her presence but also felt my life was infinitely more complicated, and when she’s absent I felt an unspeakable void. Coming to CDH has allow me to see things differently, a possibility that we could coexist. Coming out to my wife and with her acceptance was the turning point in my relationship with that mysterious girl. I came to understand and accept that we are the same person in the mirror regardless of how we are dressed and that we could live our lives together as one.
Rachel M
Hi Rachel, What a beautiful synopsis of what I was trying to convey. That dual nature that is reality a whole is a pretty universal concept in the Far East. I don’t know why we in the Western World have such a hard time accepting it, but we do. It caused me quite a bit of conflict until I, like you, learned to accept and embrace it! Have a very Happy New Year! Hugs, Paulette
- The forum ‘General Chat “Life as it Goes On”’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments