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Just read a 20 year old article from the The American Journal of Family Therapy. Nothing in the article would surprise most veteran CDs. There was, however, one very helpful component – “The Miracle Question!”
The miracle question is, “Suppose that one night, while you were asleep, there was a miracle and this problem was solved. How would you know? What would be different?” This question or the concept may not be new to some of us/you, but it is new thinking to me. It does correlate to several of the surveys that have been done over the years. Even for those of us who have reconciled our feelings about our CD propensities, there do exist problems within our lives and/or our relationships. For example, I have become extremely comfortable and adept at androgynous crossdressing. I frequently go shopping, run errands, and have even attended gatherings (among mostly strangers) wearing skinning women’s jeans, feminine shirts, blouses, or tunics, and higher block heel or wedge sandals or booties. Given the right time and opportunity, I would try again “the full Monty” of dress, makeup, wig, and jewelry, although I have not in many years, if I had my wife’s support for the adventure.
There’s the rub – the issue that is not resolved in my life. I really believe that, at this stage in my life, I could handle the scrutiny or even some ridicule of trying to pass if my wife could support me or at least play along! So in light of my inability to live-out my CD fantasy, how would I answer the miracle question? Here it is! I would know that my problem was solved because my wife would say, “Where should we go today, what should we do, and what would you like to wear?” And, she would mean that she loves me as much as a CD as my standard variety male self. Further, that she would really enjoy sharing my crossdressing with me whenever I am comfortable and in whatever environment we choose.
How would you answer the miracle question?
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