- September 22, 2020 at 7:34 pm #386564Mary Ann SummersParticipantRegistered On: April 29, 2020Topics: 11Replies: 86Has thanked: 238 timesBeen thanked: 623 times
So, I played every scenario I could out in my head on how I would tell my wife and what would (could) happen when I did. 99% of them were bad. Today I decided it was now or never (couldn’t be never so now it was). We were sitting on the porch talking about an up coming trip and watching the sun go down.. I swallowed hard and braced myself for my new life… alone.
I told her I needed to tell her something about me that I have never figured out how to tell her before. I also said I’ve never told anyone I’ve ever been with in the past about this. “I love to wear women’s clothing and always have”. She asked if I was kidding…I said I wasn’t. She asked again. “Nope”. She asked if I go trolling for guys when I’m dressed… I laughed and said If I were to have been born a woman, I’d have been gay, I love everything about women… in every way. So, no on the guy thing. She had a few more questions about how I do this or that, then said “If that’s what makes you happy, then it’s ok by me. I’ll always love you for who you are”. She said I’m still her husband and will always be her “manly man”. I said that it isn’t like she is loosing a husband, it is like she just gained a much larger wardrobe. She smiled at that… and that was it.
I had feared and planned for the worst… but hoped and prayed for the best. I received the best… 20 years ago and didn’t realize it. And, I under estimated her love and affection for me… that will never happen again.
Hugs, Mary Ann
Total of 67 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- September 24, 2020 at 5:03 pm #387223Sandy JaysonParticipantRegistered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 13Replies: 194Has thanked: 480 timesBeen thanked: 801 times
Congrats, Mary Ann. So happy for you. It’s stories like yours that keep the hope alive for many of us and help us to build up the courage to take the next step. I currently am working in my mind how to tell my brothers and mother. I am going to have to tell them something with my longer colored hair and pierced ears, but at my age of 66 I keep trying to convince myself that life is getting to short to not enjoy my new found joy in CD. Hope all keeps going well for you.
- September 24, 2020 at 12:02 pm #387160
- September 23, 2020 at 2:39 pm #386872Sharon WiltshireParticipantRegistered On: July 27, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 34Has thanked: 541 timesBeen thanked: 211 times
Well done, I know how hard it is after so long. And others have said, (although I know from experience that it is hard to do) take it slow and let her take the lead on how far, and how quickly you take it with her, and be ready for lots of questions, and lots more.
- September 23, 2020 at 1:41 pm #386842Sarah Du HessisseParticipantRegistered On: September 16, 2020Topics: 4Replies: 28Has thanked: 99 timesBeen thanked: 95 times
Well done Mary Ann enjoy your new lease of life, you deserve it girl.
I personally am contemplating the same, really not sure how wife would react.
I have been secret for 40 years and no one knows.
My very best wishes to you.
- September 23, 2020 at 1:29 pm #386832LeslieParticipantRegistered On: September 14, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 35Has thanked: 307 timesBeen thanked: 174 times
Your SO sounds like mine, except mine isn’t getting an expanded wardrobe, I’m about two sizes smaller than her lol, hopefully I will get to dig through her old clothes from before she gained weight. She had some really nice stuff!
- September 23, 2020 at 1:17 pm #386827Amanda BurtonParticipantRegistered On: January 15, 2020Topics: 5Replies: 224Has thanked: 2494 timesBeen thanked: 799 times
Congratulations Mary Ann, it’s fantastic to read that all went extremely well for you.
Really nice to read that your wife positively received your your admission that you love to CD.
There may be many wobbles to come as this information is fully processed, as she struggles to understand and take it in. communication and reassurance is vital, as a couple it’s a new road for both parties.
I wish you both the best for a new and hopefully beautiful chapter in your marriage together.
LOL Amanda X
- September 23, 2020 at 12:20 pm #386816Araminta PurdyParticipantRegistered On: January 23, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 156Has thanked: 201 timesBeen thanked: 450 times
- September 23, 2020 at 11:50 am #386803Danielle ClarkParticipantRegistered On: August 17, 2018Topics: 1Replies: 6Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 36 times
Glad to hear the positive response from your wife. Every woman is going to handle this information differently. I told my wife back in 2010, 4 months before we got married. Her initial response was positive and supportive. But by the next day, a lot of questions and fears swirled through her mind. Things got bad…very bad. It almost broke us up. We ended up going to therapy for a while, which at least smoothed things over a bit. Our wedding day came, and everything went great. We stopped going to therapy, but then also stopped talking about the crossdressing. It basically turned into a don’t ask, don’t tell situation for the next 7 years. I dressed at home alone when she wasn’t around. The subject would rarely come up, and when it did, it was always awkward.
However, in 2017 while on vacation, we reached a breakthrough. We started talking about it again and she was someone able to let go of any past concerns and accept me for me. There was still lots to tell about my history of CDing and we talked for hours about it every day for the next week or two. It really brought us closer together as a couple.
We have now come full circle. We can now casually talk about women’s clothes and makeup, go shopping together, and even go out together while I’m dressed. We are also similar in size (except for shoes), so we share a lot of the same wardrobe, which is fun! (and cost effective!)
Just know that there may be fluctuations with her acceptance level. Just take it slow, don’t pile on too much at once. Let her digest it and just assure her that you are still her husband. Hoping the best for you and your wife!
- September 23, 2020 at 11:00 am #386780Bobbi SueParticipantRegistered On: September 15, 2020Topics: 10Replies: 49Has thanked: 94 timesBeen thanked: 306 times
What a great story, and a great wife. May I offer a bit of unsolicited advice? Go slow. She hasn’t internalized it quite yet. There will most likely be more questions. But I’m pretty sure you already knew this. 😉
Kisses, Bobbi Sue. 💋
- September 23, 2020 at 10:24 am #386765Dani CDParticipantRegistered On: September 10, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 25Has thanked: 84 timesBeen thanked: 95 times
- September 23, 2020 at 10:21 am #386762Suzette YorkParticipantRegistered On: September 4, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 66Has thanked: 679 timesBeen thanked: 298 times
OMG that is truly wonderful! i read your beautiful tale with such dread but then what a fabulous outcome. i, and i am sure all of us, are so happy for you. It is so terrific to hear such a warm and loving story – you are lucky that you have your soul mate and she is lucky to have a wonderful person as you are to be her spouse. i hope you both have a perfect life now that you know each other so intimately.
- September 23, 2020 at 9:47 am #386756Stevie SteinerParticipantRegistered On: June 11, 2020Topics: 24Replies: 539Has thanked: 2330 timesBeen thanked: 2537 times
Mary Ann ….. what a beautiful story, thank you for sharing. I couldn’t help but be smiling from ear to ear by the time I finished reading that. I can only imagine the relief and joy you felt. A shout out to your wonderful wife too, not to forget the other half in this. And you knew the key phrase – ” a larger wardrobe “. Lol.
I’m so happy all went so well for you. Just imagine your first shopping trip together.🙂.
- September 23, 2020 at 8:57 am #386748DeeAnn HopingsParticipantRegistered On: November 10, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 575Has thanked: 9 timesBeen thanked: 1327 times
- September 23, 2020 at 8:38 am #386717Dana “Jennifer” BantonParticipantRegistered On: March 19, 2018Topics: 6Replies: 52Has thanked: 183 timesBeen thanked: 252 times
- September 23, 2020 at 8:08 am #386705EmilyParticipantRegistered On: April 30, 2016Topics: 13Replies: 424Has thanked: 2172 timesBeen thanked: 1067 times
“The talk”. It’s what we all fear. You are incredibly fortunate to have a spouse like that. A lot of us are not that lucky. I applaud you for your bravery in telling her. And, I applaud her for her response. Well done and congratulations! I’m sure that is a huge relief for you. Baby steps from here forward will help in the long run.
- September 23, 2020 at 7:44 am #386693Mary Ann SummersParticipantRegistered On: April 29, 2020Topics: 11Replies: 86Has thanked: 238 timesBeen thanked: 623 times
You are so correct… It is a huge weight lifted and no more feelings of deceit. I too was quick to anger & would withdraw after. My biggest regret is that I had not told her MUCH sooner. I cannot imagine where we would be right now if I had. For that matter I can’t fathom where I would be in my femme journey also. 20 years could have done much for both. But I digress, water under the bridge… new day, start again! Already this morning she was asking what I thought of her outfit for the day….I said I have always liked her style & I am the one who should be getting the tips from “the expert”. LOL
- September 23, 2020 at 8:27 am #386710Jamie TaalParticipantRegistered On: June 14, 2019Topics: 3Replies: 49Has thanked: 298 timesBeen thanked: 250 times
Agreed. I wish I told her 23 years ago. I feel I would have been in a better place mentally throughout our marriage and provided her more a more stable “me”. Yep, water under the bridge though. Then again having access to great resources on the internet and CDH sepcifically and recently has really opened me up to accepting who I am without guilt. Not sure I would have been as successful telling her then as compared to now without my personal growth and aceptance over the years.
- September 23, 2020 at 6:53 am #386673Diane CrowParticipantRegistered On: October 21, 2019Topics: 8Replies: 162Has thanked: 1417 timesBeen thanked: 697 times
I so love the dbl the wardrobe!! You hit the jackpot with that one! It opens up your relationship to an entirely new level of experience and love. I am genuinely jealous of you two! Keep going girl. Cant wait to hear about your adventures together.
- September 23, 2020 at 6:24 am #386669ParticipantRegistered On: June 14, 2019Topics: 3Replies: 49Has thanked: 298 timesBeen thanked: 250 times
That is fabulous! I can relate. The pit in your throat when your thoughts move from your mind, to your voice and then to her ears is excruciating. There is no putting the genie back in the bottle. I am so happy that you did it and it worked out well for you. I find that if the mutual love is true and deep then a SO will accept one’s dressing. This does not mean she has to agree with it or want to see it but just accept it for who you are and that it is is part of what makes you you. For me the burden of carrying the secrete around for so many years weighed so heavily on me that I was quick to anger, quick to dismiss and withdraw frequently. Upon telling my wife I am more relaxed, open and giving. I am a better husband as a result of it.
Good luck in the days to come and keep us updated on your progress.
All the best, Jamie
- September 23, 2020 at 5:48 am #386666Robin SnowParticipantRegistered On: May 7, 2019Topics: 18Replies: 195Has thanked: 1299 timesBeen thanked: 829 times
Congrats on coming out to your wife. I’m am so happy it went well. Take it slow and keep the lines of communication open.
- September 23, 2020 at 5:46 am #386665Heather HarrisonParticipantRegistered On: August 3, 2020Topics: 10Replies: 103Has thanked: 642 timesBeen thanked: 476 times
That is wonderful! I had a very similar experience when I told my wife. This journey is a process for both of us, but honest communication is so important.
- September 23, 2020 at 5:33 am #386659Stephanie FlowersAmbassadorRegistered On: June 26, 2017Topics: 25Replies: 4241Has thanked: 6142 timesBeen thanked: 6471 times
Happy hearing it. Certainly a emotional experience and sounded like everything is going to be wonderful. Your wife has much to embrace before all will seam fine. She’s willing to give you her support, now its you that will have to make this work. Don’t push things so she won’t. Now wait until the moment comes when she decides she wants to meet Mary Ann. That moment for me was extremely a nervous time but after revealing myself everything went beautifully and a new chapter in our lives became to flourish. The best to you both in your journeys together….
- September 23, 2020 at 5:28 am #386658Debbie WernerParticipantRegistered On: September 12, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 35Has thanked: 210 timesBeen thanked: 135 times
That took a lot of courage to do,I came out to my SO back in July,wish I would have did it sooner. What an enormous burden has been lifted off of your shoulders,good for you.
- September 23, 2020 at 4:59 am #386648Grace ScarlettParticipantRegistered On: July 26, 2020Topics: 12Replies: 297Has thanked: 1727 timesBeen thanked: 1388 times
Hi Mary Ann…..well done, you found the courage and got the answer you needed to hear .I am so pleased for YOU BOTH….no more secrets…..Grace xx
- September 23, 2020 at 4:15 am #386632Penny JayParticipantRegistered On: August 4, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 17Has thanked: 56 timesBeen thanked: 124 times
- September 23, 2020 at 4:04 am #386626Patty PhoseParticipantRegistered On: May 7, 2016Topics: 0Replies: 1328Has thanked: 921 timesBeen thanked: 3112 times
I guess planing for and expecting the worst then not having it go nearly as bad or even good is a good thing. Congratulations on your good result.
You can be a manly man and a girly girl. I’ve heard it called being gender fluid. That’s what I am.
- September 23, 2020 at 1:37 am #386610Kay AndersonParticipantRegistered On: June 1, 2020Topics: 16Replies: 484Has thanked: 4446 timesBeen thanked: 2500 times
- September 23, 2020 at 12:45 am #386607Bianca EverdeneParticipantRegistered On: April 11, 2017Topics: 14Replies: 520Has thanked: 1672 timesBeen thanked: 1714 times
- September 23, 2020 at 12:37 am #386606Mandy WifeParticipantRegistered On: September 12, 2019Topics: 5Replies: 93Has thanked: 46 timesBeen thanked: 359 times
I’m so happy for you Mary Ann. Definitely more talking in the future but going at your wife’s pace when she’s ready to talk & see and that you both have your SIL to talk to as well is ideal.
So lovely to know of another supportive wife and I wish you both much happiness in your future adventures together.
- September 23, 2020 at 12:30 am #386605SerenParticipantRegistered On: March 2, 2020Topics: 36Replies: 395Has thanked: 3321 timesBeen thanked: 1760 times
Hey Mary Ann !!
This makes me so happy 😀, we are truly blessed to have partners who continue to love and to help grow the relationship having see the closet door open. It takes such a weight off to know you can be you.
- September 22, 2020 at 9:32 pm #386595Mary Ann SummersParticipantRegistered On: April 29, 2020Topics: 11Replies: 86Has thanked: 238 timesBeen thanked: 623 times
- September 22, 2020 at 8:51 pm #386589ParticipantRegistered On: April 29, 2020Topics: 11Replies: 86Has thanked: 238 timesBeen thanked: 623 times
You are correct much more talking has to be done. We did discuss many things during the conversation, I just didn’t want the post to be REALLY long. Looks like I will have a day on our up coming trip to go out en femme with her. But, yes, I think there will be MANY more questions and conversations. I want her to feel comfortable with what I’m doing too.
- September 22, 2020 at 8:48 pm #386588Stevie65ParticipantRegistered On: September 6, 2019Topics: 16Replies: 99Has thanked: 152 timesBeen thanked: 357 times
Congrats Mary Ann!!! I guess it would be a good idea to tell your SIL that you told your wife and that if she could act a little surprised instead of saying yes I knew a while ago (that would cause other issues). Other than that it is a big relief I bet and you can sleep better knowing that at some point in time your wife and you can go out shopping as ladies for what ever you both feel like.
- September 22, 2020 at 8:42 pm #386585Stephanie RobertsParticipantRegistered On: May 20, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 268Has thanked: 2141 timesBeen thanked: 879 times
- September 22, 2020 at 7:44 pm #386567Stephanie BassParticipantRegistered On: November 30, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 740Has thanked: 6217 timesBeen thanked: 2200 times
Hi Mary Ann congrats to you girlfriend as it sounded like you got the courage and it was a wonderful result so happy for you . Now lots more talking to go as asking about dressing with her in front of her will she help thats the fun part her helping you get pretty build up to it all sweety anyway been there done that good luck and have fun girlfriend.
Hugs Stephanie Bass💋💋
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