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Good day Ladies,
I returned to work this past week. I spent the week between Christmas and New Years eve with my fingers and toes painted red, wearing a bra, makeup, with every item of clothing femme. It was wonderful.
On the sunday night before work I had to remove the nail polish, do my laundry and wash up all my clothes and put them away again. It was so depressing to leave Paula behind again. I looked forward to Friday night when Paula could come out to play, but each night some more femme attire came out, i could not waite for Friday. The plan was to paint my nails again, then came the call to work Sunday. So no nail art this weekend.
Saturday i got dressed pink sweater, guess jeans, makeup, and off to market my wife and i went.
Saturday evening at dinner my wife asked about the increase in dressing and makeup and nail polish. All i could say is that i am drawn to it, and dont know where this is going.
I wish i knew where my dressing is going. I have started to have dreams of full transition, but still want to be male me at times.
All i know now is that when i remove my Femme wardrobe i cant waite to dress again. I spend more time thinking about what femme items to add each day.
Just wanted to share what i have been going though lately. Thanks for reading my long post
Paula
Hi Paula,
I am behind you on the path. I have only had these feelings to dress for a few years, but it is scary at times how strong they have become. I also don’t know where they will go.
I don’t get the chance to dress that often, but can’t stop thinking about it anymore. I can’t seem to stop looking at clothes either.So I guess what I’m trying to say is you have company.
Love, and hugs,
Lara
Well girlfriend, don’t forget you should be wearing some pretty nightie to bed. I am should that your SO would approve. Each day wearing panties would also be another step to your fem self. Enjoy self in every way possible. Hugs and kisses.
Girlfriend
Wearing a nightie to bed sounds sexy and I would if I wasn’t going be sleeping. LOL When sleeping I go for comfort. I sleep nude and always have. Lots of warm clovers and nude is what I love. Anything else on feels so restrictive, I toss and turn all night. The thing I wear to bed that I feel feminine in is my long painted nails. Yes I wear pained nails 24/7/365 and have for years. ( No, the wife doesn’t know I dress and she worries I will.) [long story in other post].
Baby steps into happiness!
Very Cherry Shirley
Hi Paula
I live with 2 male friends, so i am very restricted in what i can do.
I wear panties under my male clothes every day now and might start wearing tights too, perfect excuse in this cold weather.
I go to bed in bra and panties, but will be buying more nightwear soon.
Come the weekend and my housemates go out drnkinking, i slip on whatever takes my fancy, from my small but growing wardrobe. That is me until Monday and drab male clothes come out again.
I too think about full transition, but I already know that i wish to live my life 24/7, as a woman, it is just the surgery that puts me off. I practice my fem posture whenever and wherever possible and will start using hair removal products this weekend. I have a very very very long way to go, but I look forward to it all and am smiling as i think about it.
My advice is follow your heart, if you suppress your feelings now, you could really live to regret it in the future. Having read other articles here regarding partners, it seems a full and frank discussion, will let you know were you both stand and then compromises can be made if necessary.
All the best whatever you decide.
Love
MichelleSome advise from an elderly CD’er, I was 8 when I put on a dress and I loved it, still living at home until 2o years old dressing was off and on as my mother always looking and found some of my stuff (another story). When I got married I told my wife (of 47 years now) and she was okay with it, but not as an everyday event. I was passable until I was 30 and I only dressed at home, then time caught up with me. At that time I was on a number of forums on IRC and the talk on those tempted me to push further in my dressing and go out. After much thought I decided that I had it so good at home there was no need to alienate my family. At some point in time most CD’ers will stand out as a guy in dress and you have to accept that. Overall I am happy with my choices and still enjoy when I dress up, my point in this rambling post is don’t push it, if you can’t past as a GG, then don’t, and accept what you can do and enjoy it.
Hi Paula.
Yes its always depressing when we have to go back to drab world.
Its called the Pink Fog for a reason. It clouds our drab world and increases or decreases depending on our mood. Just be careful and don’t run into any drab obstacles thereby outing yourself to those you don’t want to know your secret. Don’t let the fog cloud your relationship with the SO either because it sounds like shes trying to accept.
Paula
You might enjoy try paint your clear and wear to work until painted nails feel right to you. It’s how I started. I worked in a very male type job for years. (now retired) Only a very few noticed and only one ask why about it. I just said because i like it. As time when on I added color to my nails. Only women have said anything and then it was positive. I’m sure some did behind my back. Those are the kind of people I didn’t want as friends anyway. My friends didn’t care and the others didn’t matter.
I think as long as you own it and don’t put it in peoples faces they don’t care.
Yes men can be cruel to each other if you let them. If you let them know it matters to you, you loose.Even with red painted nails in male mode I own it.
I always wear color on my nails now and I live almost totally in male mode. I get hit on by women a lot now. Who knew? I wish I had known when I was younger. LOLIf ask about why you wear clear and if you care what they think. You might just say it’s to stop your nails from slitting. My nails use to split all the time until I started painting them. It’s another plus for painted nails. : )
Now that I’m retired I wear more of what I want to. I like to mix typical male / female things together.
I even wear small heels in the summer a lot. That seems to help with my back pain. Again who knew?
We all have to decide what is best for us and how we feel.Shirley
Hi Paula
As i sat at my computer and started to read your post, i realised that i was dressed exactly how you described even the red finger and toenails. I am in full femmme mode with make up etc and i empathised with your feelings as you have to go drab. I may be a bit further than you in your journey but i would advise do not regret anything as if it makes you happy then you should do it. The sensation of natural comfort that comes with being en femme is hard to ignore so i now just go with it and even am contemplating telling my family about Jo Jo and if they dont like it they can take a running jump. My wife loves me as Jo Jo and encourages me.
Look at it this way, you have every weekend to look forward to and these will be when you are at peace within yourself, so go for it girl and enjoy every moment. xxx
Jo JoThanks for sharing. I know both the feeling of sadness of going back to your male mode and the excitement and anticipation of dressing again. I am glad that your wife allows you to be Paula. Happy dressing!
Dear Paula ,
As I am still in the closet I only dress at home.
I fully dress two evenings a week , and I underdress
the remaining days.
This way I can experience my Femininety all week.
It is always a sad moment when you have to take all the Femme garments off ,
but knowing I will get to wear them again the next day ,
gets me through the periods I have to wear my male clothes.Love Sylvia.
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