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Maybe this has come up and I just missed it, but I’ve been wondering how much crossdressing can relate to being on the Autism spectrum.
First, I should say that I do not consider myself on the spectrum, but about a month ago after another misunderstanding my wife implored me to look into it again (as I have at several points throughout my life) and the official tests I took all suggested “eh, maybe?”
I feel like I’ve noticed that a lot of trans women are on the spectrum and that other demographics that have higher than average numbers of people on the spectrum are well-represented here, especially among the younger members. I can’t help but wonder if there is something there. I do feel like strict gender norms and labels go against the kind of logic most people I know on the spectrum have and that I see them all that way. One of the hardest parts of being a crossdresser has been just not being able to wear anything without having to “change” myself or how others see me, and that definitely seems to be a familiar feeling to people on the spectrum in a lot of ways.
I would love to hear where people see themselves in that and how they think it relates.
Hearts and rainbows.
I’ve always been really introverted and have always had some difficulty responding to social cues, but since “Introverted and awkward” isn’t a diagnosis, I’m also just a potential borderline case. I do know they changed the diagnostic standards a few years ago, which means if we couldn’t receive a diagnosis before, we’re even less likely to now. At least as I understand it. Which isn’t very much really.
There does seem to be some kind of connection though. Its hard to put a finger on it exactly but I’ve also always had a lot of self-consciousness, related to my cross dressing and in general. So yeah if I thought people knowing about my cross dressing wouldn’t change how they think of me It would probably be a lot easier for me to open up about it publicly.
It’s definitely a strange position to be in! I don’t know if I would feel any better if I were confirmed to be under some diagnostic umbrella, but I take a bit of comfort in realising I am even more divergent than I had believed, and beyond my control. Perhaps it’s a Gemini thing, but I’ve always been on the edge of seemingly every qualification, even when tested young my ADHD was considered mild, and past depression diagnoses have been similar. Bipolar has even been thrown around a bit.
Similar experiences do always when it comes to gender too, and sometimes I wish with all the terms being used these days there could be a little more understanding on wherever I stand. Sometimes the feelings get so strong that I take some other “am I transgender?” test and that’s always a consistent no, but seldom, “maybe you’re a little different.”
I don’t know if I would feel any better either. I think it might be nice to have at least a little clinical validation of my insecurities. But by this point maybe not. I might just be like “yup I thought so.” It may well just be a Gemini thing! The more I think about it, I may not really be introverted and awkward, just simply really introverted. The awkwardness probably arises out of my inability to get over my intense inward focus and self consciousness. In other words I may be perfectly fine at responding to social cues if I could only focus on them at least a little!
I’m starting to think my inward focus may contribute to my unconventional feelings towards gender as well. It could be that I feel a need to become someone I’m attracted to. How else can I make sense of being attracted to women and sometimes wanting to be one? And that may lead to more self consciousness in a sort of circular way. How can I ever feel secure with my cross dressing when I’m still so unsure about it myself? I feel that from time to time as well. To the point where sometimes I wish I was transgender, because at least that way, when someone doesn’t get it, there’s tons of stuff out there I could point them towards to help them get it. But what about when what’s out there doesn’t even help me get myself?
I definitely feel you on that. There are no answers for a lot of us. When I was a kid I even concluded I was gay for a while just to make sense of things, but then the puberty hormones rushed in and I was… *double* attracted to women? As in wanting to be with them AND be one, but which more than the other? Then it’s hard to be confident in yourself as a man when you’re just that unattracted to yourself! Maybe I feel okay in my body, but what about the mirror? Who wouldn’t prefer to see a beautiful woman smiling back at them there? Think about it and it will drive you crazy, do something to change or do nothing to change and it’s not terribly satisfying either, and worst of all it never ends.
I’d imagine I’m on there somewhere. Personality traits and personal ‘ticks’ are representative of something. I would agree that this ‘slant’ we have is evidence of something too. I wouldn’t say it ‘affects or controls’ me, but I do feel there’s something ‘else’ there in my psyche.
I can’t see how autism relates to Crossdressing in the sense you discuss.
Autism is quite clearly defined and has distinct characteristics.
Problems with social interaction with others. …
Unusual interest in objects.
Need for sameness.
Great variation in abilities.
Under or over reaction to one or more of the five senses: sight, touch, taste, smell, or hearing.
Repeated actions or body movements.
Aspergers syndrome is within the spectrum and display similar characteristics.
If you look at the characteristics you could see that you have some loose traits, but in a thorough medical investigation it wouldn’t prove this condition.
We all have behavioural traits that could be viewed as being on some kind of spectrum but the reality is they are what they are – part of your nature. Being a bit different is nothing unusual.
I work with people who have learning difficulties and we have people with Autism and a mix of conditions.
People who are autistic can express themselves and declare that they are a crossdresser. That is part of who they are and not as part of being autistic.
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I myself refuse to be labeled or diagnosed with anything that would give credence to what they think of me. I am just ME, like it or not, like me or not. If you don’t like me, just leave me be and I will leave you be. If people have questions I will answer them and let them to decide. I am not here to convert others to my beliefs and choices, it would be a complete waste of time and of my time left to me to enjoy my life.
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