Which Life Changing Box would you choose?

The Uninvited Dilemma

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  • First Box: Be restored Fully as a Male without any feminine feelings or Thoughts?
  • Second Box: Fully become the female you were always meant to be?
  • Third Box: Remain in your current journey?
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  • #345941
    Gabrielle Thomas
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    Our journey began, regardless of how or where we are now in our journey, we have all come to realize our Uninvited Dilemma….We are all or in part female inside a male’s body.  We were born, society took hold from that moment on, and one day we woke up.  Our acceptance of at least the fact that we are all or in part female in a man’s body is the very first stepping stone in our realization that we are “different”.  We cannot move forward to our understanding of who we are without this self acceptance.  Just getting to this point of acceptance has been, is a roller coaster ride of peaks and valleys within ourselves.  We did not ask for this; however, this is who we are.

    What if by some miracle, we were all visited in our sleep, in our dreams by the Universe seeking us out to present each of us with three individual life changing boxes.  The Universe realized in was unfair that each of us was born with this Uninvited Dilemma.  Each box contained a button.

    Each box represents an Invited Dilemma, a choice to right our original Uninvited Dilemma with the simple pressing of the button on the box:

    The first Box would restore you fully as a male, take away any thoughts or feelings of being a female.  The previous female feelings you once felt would no longer exist in your mind.  Your life would continue without financial consequence of your choice.

    The second Box would confirm you fully as a female, the female you always felt you should be in feelings, self, and looks.  You would remember your original uninvited Dilemma; however, your life would continue without financial consequence of your choice.

    The third Box would keep things in your life exactly as things are progressing or lack thereof in your journey.  You would remain with your original Uninvited Dilemma; however, the Dilemma is now realized and as such, now invited.

    You must to pick one before you wake up.  The box you choose, the button you pressed will come into fruition the moment you wake up in the morning.

    Which button would you choose?

    PS.

    Food for Thought:  If you were on a deserted Island and you could live out the rest of your days without want, including an all accepting, fully compatible partner, would you live out the rest of your days as a female or male?

     

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    • #381044
      Robin Girly
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      I didn’t even think twice.Irs an easy choice for me.Box 2

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    • #381018
      Joan Michaels
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      But of course, The Second Box: Fully become the female you were always meant to be?

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    • #379105
      Tabitha Tee
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      Several of the ladies here have already expressed most of my feelings in their posts. I will keep my answer relatively simple: none of these boxes works for me.

      Box#4: Stay male, keep crossdressing and expressing your feminine side, confidently come out of your closet, and finally gain acceptance.

      Tricia

      This was my original answer back in June. I just came back to it and answered number one. I came out to my wife a few days ago and everything is going really badly. Much worse than I had imagined it might have. I love my wife and am hating myself right now because I am very worried that I may have ruined our lives as we’ve known them.
      I am just heartbroken and really hope I can once again be the man she says she doesn’t see now. I’m having a difficult time trying to convince her that I am still the SAME MAN she married, that her knowing this hasn’t made me any different, but she just keeps saying that she keeps thinking about me dressed like a woman and it freaks her out. She also said had I told her before we married, she wouldn’t have married me.
      The thing is, she still says that she never had anyone that she ever loved as much. Our life together was great before. Hoping that somehow it will be again. But for that to even be possible, it appears right now that I’m going to have to figure out how to just be the full time man again and I know it’s going to be really hard to do. I don’t foresee her ever accepting that I have a second femme self.
      I am preparing myself for the possibility that I may never be able to be Tricia again, because my wife and marriage matter much more to me than anything.

      I hurt so much…

      Tricia

      I am so sorry to hear this, dear. My heart goes out to you. I hope your relationship can come back together soon.

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    • #379085
      Tricia Lynn
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      Several of the ladies here have already expressed most of my feelings in their posts. I will keep my answer relatively simple: none of these boxes works for me.

      Box#4: Stay male, keep crossdressing and expressing your feminine side, confidently come out of your closet, and finally gain acceptance.

      Tricia

      This was my original answer back in June. I just came back to it and answered number one. I came out to my wife a few days ago and everything is going really badly. Much worse than I had imagined it might have. I love my wife and am hating myself right now because I am very worried that I may have ruined our lives as we’ve known them.
      I am just heartbroken and really hope I can once again be the man she says she doesn’t see now. I’m having a difficult time trying to convince her that I am still the SAME MAN she married, that her knowing this hasn’t made me any different, but she just keeps saying that she keeps thinking about me dressed like a woman and it freaks her out. She also said had I told her before we married, she wouldn’t have married me.
      The thing is, she still says that she never had anyone that she ever loved as much. Our life together was great before. Hoping that somehow it will be again. But for that to even be possible, it appears right now that I’m going to have to figure out how to just be the full time man again and I know it’s going to be really hard to do. I don’t foresee her ever accepting that I have a second femme self.
      I am preparing myself for the possibility that I may never be able to be Tricia again, because my wife and marriage matter much more to me than anything.

      I hurt so much…

      Tricia

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    • #375994
      Laura Jane Moore
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      Box 2 for me definitely. I would be a female on that deserted island.

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    • #375907
      ThereseW
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      I selected the second box, but with a melancholy feeling.  For me it’s a life stage thing.  Had the box been presented to me in my 20’s (and assuming I had more self knowledge than I did back then) it would have been a very different life journey.  Now in my late 50’s, choosing the second box might make me happy in some ways, but would hurt or end many relationships. Can I get a box 4 “8 weeks as the woman I always wanted to be with a make permanent or go back choice at the end”?   Call it the “try before you buy” option 😁Kind of revealing some deep seated indecisiveness here!

      Therese

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    • #375736
      Laurel Nylons
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      This is such a great question and I can see answering it differently depending on my current mood. Becoming a full time female certainly would be with its advantages in my mind but I also like my guy mode. Maybe being in the middle is a wonderful thing to embrace and enjoy. Be who you want to be, when you want to be him or her.

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    • #375724
      Emily
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      Interesting poll, and an interesting question at the end of your post. I chose #2.  I would transition in a heartbeat if it weren’t for the relationships I would most definitely lose in the process.

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    • #375489
      Gloria Renee
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      I choose # 2 of course. However, with the stipulation that I would become a teenage girl. If I stayed the current age, then #3.

      I would have liked to lived the life I was meant to live.

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    • #375350
      Kay Anderson
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      I was re-visiting this post and reading how you voted and what everyone wrote. The title made me think “The Uninvited Dilemma.” I have heard this phrase before elsewhere many times. I know for many, it is uninvited and they have a bumpy road because of it. This morning I was wondering for myself, is it really uninvited? I would have to say no. The uninvited part was the early expectations that were imposed on me that caused four decades of internal trouble for me and caused me not to live as my true self.

      Kay

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    • #375336
      Geraldine Martin
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      Dear Gabrielle

      Thanks for this pool.  I ticked without hesitation box 2, as I feel woman trapped into a man’s body

       

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    • #375332
      Tiff Any
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      Box 3 for me , I’m comfortable sharing my body , the rollercoaster is still there occasionally , but I’ve never disliked my male side to rid myself of it 🌹🌹🌹👗

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    • #375330
      Michelle Bailey
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      I went for option 2 .would love to be a full time female ,will it ever happen  I doubt it ,but I can always dream .   Michelle  xx

       

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    • #368719
      Jazmin G
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      There is a part of me that i would say lets do it go option 2 and be the girl you feel inside and then there is a part of me that is ok with being male by day and female by night. It would be nice if there could be a happy medium button to change your gender whenever you felt the need to. I love all your responses girls. Great topic discussion.

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    • #368312
      Carly Keene
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      I didn’t have to think about which box that came very easy for me I pressed the # 2 box I never liked being male. My whole life I’ve always dreamed about having lady parts being a little girl then a teenage girl having a high school boyfriend him taking me to the prom wearing a very pretty prom dress then becoming a young lady walking down the aisle being a beautiful bride in a beautiful wedding dress getting pregnant and being a mother. Yes I would press the 2 button and be the real woman with real breast and a vagina to match my brain cause it sucks having to pretend to be a man

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    • #362689
      Jemma Schumpert
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      Honestly…on wednesday it’s the fully male box, and on friday, it’s the fully male box…or is that monday-male, and thursday-femme?  or…truth be told, I’d settle for either one at this point as it would give me total peace one way or the other.  But, that’s isn’t how life goes and there is no such magical button no matter how hard I click my heels and wish it so.  With that in mind, I guess I am just going to have to settle for enjoying the journey and keep hope alive that someday, somehow, I can be Jemma completely and honestly….and openly.

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    • #355151
      Nick Lacroix
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      Even though I constantly have these feminine feelings as a man I don’t want to get rid of them as they are apart of me. I’d rather be the woman I want to be.

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    • #355147
      Stephanie
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      Well put in the last paragraph

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    • #355054
      Autumn Valiant
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      Hi Gabbi,

      My second response to this one…

      I have no desire to be a complete physical woman (although I wouldn’t complain if suddenly blessed with breasts). I like both sides of me. The male and the female. I still have trouble with the whole “no butterfly effect” thing. My mind can’t seem to make sense out of “no consequences” because everything is connected to everything else. If I could push a button that allowed everyone to present how they wanted without anyone else minding, that would be great. By not minding I mean acceptance, not apathy.

      Hugs

      Autumn

       

    • #353157
      Jo Jo Sweet
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      This was a great post and by reading all the responses it gives a good insight into how others are coping with their journey into femininity. One thing i think we all have in common is that we dont know why we long to dress but just know that if we are unable to it can make us feel down or depressed. Unfortunately for many of us, our “normal” life has to take precedence and our femme secret comes second until the next time we dress and want it to last forever. Which button to press for me depends on which part of me is at the fore at the time. Love to all. xx

    • #352651
      Stephanie
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      After careful consideration (all of about 15 seconds) I had to choose #3. At onetime I actually wondered if I really was a female. Years of wrestling with that question and possibility , years of studies, I finally came to the conclusion that regardless of what I could do, have certain items surgically removed, implants all over my body, I could not ever escape the fact that I am genetically a male.  And regardless of how I felt, I would never be able to deny that part of me.  My dilemma Of course is,  I possess just about equal feminine characteristics as I do male. I am very tall and thin, hips sway more fem, my emotional makeup is fem and I absolutely love the feel and style of female clothing and many of my physical features are girlish.

    • #352631
      Bobbi Watt
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      Thank you Gabrielle       I  thought hard on this and I picked #2 . Than after reading every ones posts I think #3 would of been a better pick. Some days I wish I could wake up and wear what I want all day and sometimes I do .  Most nights after working all day I live my life as a woman and that is the best part of my day. I look forward of getting home and just living the way I feel . I read something about two spirited  awhile back and I think that is how I came into the world and my journey keeps moving more towards being a woman . But I love woman and I do like getting dirty working hard and being a tuff guy .If  I was a woman I would be a tomboy . And being a tuff guy I respect everyone and treat people decent. I am really not a tuff guy but sometimes I try . I wish every one would treat every one good and I cannot waitt till I can go dancing again . love you all

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    • #352548
      Tricia Lynn
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      Several of the ladies here have already expressed most of my feelings in their posts. I will keep my answer relatively simple: none of these boxes works for me.

      Box#4: Stay male, keep crossdressing and expressing your feminine side, confidently come out of your closet, and finally gain acceptance.

      Tricia

    • #352351
      Emily Alt
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      10 years ago I would have jumped at option 1. Things have changed a lot since then. I like who I’ve become. There’s no way I would go back to being fully male. I voted option 2 because I feel more at ease and more fulfilled when presenting as a woman. But there’s still a part of me that likes the simplicity of living as a guy. It wasn’t easy deciding between 2 and 3.

      Emily

    • #352346
      Autumn Valiant
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      Hi Gabrielle,

      Congrats on making a poll I can’t seem to vote on.

      I can say I would never push box number 1’s button. After looking back over my life and my childhood I kind of feel I was indoctrinated into manhood more than becoming manly naturally. I do not consider myself a woman in a man’s body, but I don’t consider myself 100% manly either. If I pushed button number one, I would no longer have female/feminine/femme feelings. I couldn’t do that. I take issue with the box/button manufacturer stating it would “restore you fully as a male”. You can’t restore that which wasn’t there in the first place. As for not having any financial impact….. the Soma savings alone would be quite noticeable. I assume the intention is Income won’t be affected.

      “The second Box would confirm you fully as a female, the female you always felt you should be in feelings, self, and looks. You would remember your original uninvited Dilemma; however, your life would continue without financial consequence of your choice.” – If this means by pushing the button on box number 2 I become the GG version of the female I have always felt I should, be then I wouldn’t be able to press it. I don’t want to be a GG. If it means something else, what could that be? I suppose for some it could mean keeping male DNA but living as a woman full time, perhaps just part-time, does it grant societal and SO and family acceptance? Does it rewrite history and everyone else’s memories? Like Alison Anderson, I too would worry about the butterfly effect. I would be worried that pressing the button on the second box might change someone else’s life for the worse.

      That leaves the third box, which to me is the “no change at all” box. Yes, it says you will stay in your current journey. That journey requires change or it isn’t a journey. In a way pushing the button on the third box might say “I accept who I am and what I am going through”. I don’t need a box or a button for that. I got that. I might be alone in thinking this, but if I push button number three, it doesn’t feel like acceptance as much as capitulation. I feel like if I push it I am surrendering. I don’t know why that is. Maybe because I don’t have a well-defined journey. I like who I am and there are things I want but I am not in a rush. I know it’s a cliche but I just want to enjoy the ride.

      Maybe one day I’ll consider pushing button 3. Maybe I just don’t want to say no forever to button 2.

      P.S. My fantasy deserted island scenario would be my wife as the fully accepting compatible partner and I would present as female most of the time but still be genetically male.

       

       

       

    • #352204
      Mary Priscilla
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      My reality is that it will always have to be a dual, closeted life.  My wife does not know about this, nor can she ever know…it just would not work for her.  My other reality is that I am deeply in love with her after dispensing with three less than ideal marriages.

      I am fortunate to have friends who accept my desire to CD and store my dresses, etc. at their houses on an as needed basis.  Ideally, I will get a chance to connect with a local area sister that will permit more opportunities to dress and, perhaps, venture out into public together.  I have been approached by a few gay and bisexual men to fill this need, but there is always a sexual expectation hinted at that implies an obligation on my part.

      I am taking little baby steps right now.

    • #348539
      Danielle Silverfeather
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      You see I like being David and Danielle. I would stay the same giving time to both parts of me

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    • #348119
      Anonymous
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      I agree #1 would be easy to choose but for me #2 make the most sense and what I have always felt

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    • #347923
      Melinda
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      I definitely wanted the first option 12 years ago. Cross dressing for me didn’t have a purpose and caused a lot of pain. I told a therapist in front of my wife that if I could push a button and make it go away, I would. I meant it. I see it very differently now. I know that dressing balances me. I feel amazing after doing it. Definitely enjoying the journey. Still wish it didn’t cause my wife pain, but comfortable with my right to dress. We recently were looking at houses. Figuring out a place to store items and get dressed is part of my thinking as we look. Love to all!

    • #347922
      Desiree Scrumptious
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      As long as I could remember what it was like being a man, changing to a woman meant I was a true woman, down to my DNA, and could have children (something I so desperately have wanted for as long as I can remember), with no negative consequences ever, definitely box #2.

    • #347459
      Anne-Marie
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      I’m not to sure about your insertion that we are all – in part – females inside a male body. If gender is a spectrum with everybody having both male and female characteristics to their personality then to be a man with some female characteristics is a normal component of men. The same goes the other way too. Women with some male components to there make-up. Its only when we traverse along the spectrum from our assigned sex at birth to the more female gender components of who we are that we become more ‘female inside’.

      I self identify as many things including an A-sexual man, a cross dresser and a man who has gender dysphoria. I have many feelings that would be labeled female and feminine. That [mores the pitty] doesn’t mean I am female inside. Rather, a man with [very] strong female aspects to my personality.

      As for which box I would choose. I would choose box #2. If I could fully become female, having the full female experience and perspective on life including the ability to bare children then that would be my choice. As for the island thing. I would just be me. I would wear whatever I wanted and express myself however I pleased – which would be primarily what we term feminine. It would also be great if I could grow bigger breasts – I have some gynecomastia moobs already but a bit of extra fullness would be nice.

    • #347270
      Harietta
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      Some here may know of my wonderful situation. I am allowing “feminizaton” by my lovely mate. The application of gender to clothing and hair etc. is a social construct.

      We are celebrating beauty together. I now have a gorgeous hairstyle and colour, pierced ears, eyelash extensions lovely clothes and such but not permanent alterations, merely enhancements. I am free to return to my pre-Sherrie reality any time.

      With our “complimentary” genitalia we are free to delight in acts of tenderness.  There is no male or female anymore.

    • #347262
      Katie Collins
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      Definitely stay as I am. I feel like I have the best of both worlds. Would hate to be confined to one.

    • #347259
      Ashley
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      First box seems like the easy way out. I’d be tempted to pick it for that reason, but then I’d remind myself that not only would I miss this part of me, I believe I have benefited from it. Sometimes I worry about the guy I would have been without my feminine side keeping me balanced. As tempting as it would be to toss out my girly side forever for the sake of ease and simplicity, It’s impossible to imagine myself without it.

      The question of what I would have been like if I’d been born a girl has almost completely consumed me sometimes, so of course discovering the answer by going with the second box would be very tempting as well. Except for one thought: I’m a straight guy, so does that mean I become a straight girl, or do I get a choice in that too? Because with my fascination for everything feminine, the idea of living as a girl and being attracted to guys is a trade off I just don’t think I could accept. In my current situation, struggling to figure out how to live as a CD in this society, I’m not sure I have what it takes to live as a lesbian in this society either.

      Unless I could get more clarity about going with the second box, I’d probably go with the third box. Living as a CD does have its challenges., and it’s such an awkward way to satisfy my feminine side, but I do enjoy it!

    • #346864
      Gabrielle Thomas
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      Outstanding perspective Falecia McGuire….Wow!❤️

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    • #346860
      Falecia McGuire
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      Hello Again Gabrielle,

      Forgive me if I gush, but your survey continues to haunt me in a remarkable but non-threatening manner. Either you’re incredibly insightful, had really thought this thing through, or just serendipitously hit the mark. I’m sure that right after I post this, I will think of even more nuance to these invited or uninvited dilemmas.

      Here are my latest observations. Your first choice enables the chooser to simply be a man, unencumbered by the feminine dilemma. If I chose it, that would be the best way to have it because I would have no regrets of the fantasy and mystery that accompanies the feminine. Dichotomously, your second choice allows the chooser to remember this feminine selection as the chosen solution to a life dilemma. I think that women are genuinely given challenges that cause them to resent and/or abuse their femininity. Remembering that you admired and desired femininity could likely help that chooser appreciated the benefits and advantages of womanhood.

      I choose box three because I don’t want to leave my wife and family. I wouldn’t know how to be just a man. Here’s the thing! I think I’ve been a good man. But, I’ve always had this perspective on femininity that made me a better man. I don’t just love women from a man’s frame of reference, but I love women because I feel that I know something of their crusade. I believe that I know how men see women and I know that those views are frequently dismissive and demeaning. I love the pride I experience in pretending to be a woman. It is less a masquerade than an emulation. I don’t want to look foolish; I want to look appealing, poised, and significant.

      If I did not have option three, I would have to pick option two because I have found so much fulfillment in this pursuit of femininity.  I am so grateful that I have been blessed with this fondness.  Regardless of the associated difficulties, I cannot imagine my life without this part of me.

      Finally (or not), if I was left on the proverbial island, I would choose to be a man with a woman I loved. I don’t know whether clothing would be an issue because that is more societal than individual. But, if we were participants in a community, we would choose to dress in whatever adornment fulfilled our dreams.
      Blessings,
      FAM

    • #346812
      Olivia Livin
      Participant
      Registered On: October 22, 2018
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      I’ll go with #3, I’m comfortable with having both genders that make up all of me. They both have definate benifits.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #346795
      Gabrielle Thomas
      Participant
      Registered On: December 22, 2015
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 14
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      Hi Girls….What an awesome response so far to a really thought provoking question that we ask ourselves on a regular basis.  Please keep the responses coming in….and comments too!

      I finally voted today.  I really put a lot of thought into it as if I really had a choice of the three boxes in front of me.

      I looked at Box #1…to be restored fully as a male and lose all feelings and thoughts of a woman.  I could so relate to the question and the answer was immediate.  I am a third generation American of Mexican descent(so I thought until 23 and me test)  All my life I grew up between both traditions of an all american lifestyle with my Mexican traditions and foods peppered in.  I grew up in all white schools and grew into the business world dominated by older white men.  I had to work harder, suffer through prejudice and bias, adapt, and then overcome. Would I want to be “restored” as all American only and lose my Mexican heritage?…..definitely not.  I would lose a huge piece of myself and I am so much richer, so much fuller as a human being because.  That is exactly how I feel about both sides of my gender.  My girl self makes me softer, kinder, balanced, and moreover empathetic to women.  I thank the Universe for making me who I am, as hard as it has been and still is to be a woman living in a man’s body.

      So why not pick Box #3? I cannot continue to hide gabrielle in a man’s body.  To remain as things are is to not be seen or heard…to be acknowledged.  In that regard I am pretending to be all man and hiding that I am a female too! I think that’s all we really want, to be seen and hard, to be accepted for all of who we are and not have to lose anything because of it.  To transition to being a female is not to deny any of my male self but to add to who I am.

      I must pick box#2! We quiet and or temper the voice inside all of us and scream, I am a woman!  The woman is always there and it is there because it is who we are, ingrained in our soul. Why do we have to choose between the reality of choosing female and chance, and most likely losing, everything we have fought for and earned as a man?  To pick any other Box than Box#2 is to concede the fight and though we wish we could keep balanced in Box #3, we find ourselves on a roller coaster that always begins and ends in the same spot, no matter how high the peaks we climb, because eventually we always have to come back down.

      I’m tired of fighting in Box #3.  I will start again with baby steps. This week I will begin my search for a Gender Identity Therapist.  I will start there.  Let my journey begin from Box#3 to Box#2.

      Love to all my Sisters.

      gabrielle

    • #346609
      Rozalyne Richards
      Participant
      Registered On: March 10, 2018
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 223
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      <p style=”text-align: left;”>I chose box 3 because I’m still married and my wife doesn’t know about my crossdressing life x if i wasn’t married i would have chosen box 2, and persude my life as a woman, it’s hard to explain why we are what we are, it’s as if we have a split personality half man half woman, most of the time the man has control but every so often she comes to the surface, we all know in the end a man never wins against a woman x hugs Rozalyne x</p>

    • #346402
      Sandy Jayson
      Participant
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 12
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      Yes a very interesting question. At this point today I would prefer to do #2 for 10 days and then #1 for 10 days then go back to the way it is now (#3) for a couple of months  so I could sort out all of this in my head.

      In a year or two on my current journey my answer might be differant.

      Still confused at this point today  Sandy.

    • #346350
      Jennifer Heels
      Participant
      Registered On: December 11, 2019
      Topics: 11
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      IF i could be a genetic woman all beautiful and a great feminine figure would be NICE .. about 5’2″ with great legs and nice perky breast.. since we are dreaming I might as well go all the way 😉

      Jennifer

    • #346309
      Jessica Charms
      Participant
      Registered On: July 16, 2019
      Topics: 10
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      Personally I would go with box #2.

      While being a male is nice and all, I’ve always felt like I was pretending sometimes. Just going through the motions and whatnot. While sure I have thought the same thing while crossdressing, I would still take box #2.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #346210
      Paula1
      Participant
      Registered On: October 22, 2015
      Topics: 7
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      # 2 life would be so much better

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #346209
      Celeste Jo
      Participant
      Registered On: April 26, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 30
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      Ok, for those who think my answer was to easy, can I ask the universe to randomly make me female one day a week?  😁

    • #346192
      patty williams
      Participant
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
      Topics: 62
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      Interesting Question Gabrielle,

       

      I was just presented a similar question by my wife and as Bettylou mentioned my obligation and love of my family had me choose #3.

      However without the family obligations as a factor I would definitely choose #2.

      Patty

    • #346169
      Giselle Reeves
      Participant
      Registered On: September 27, 2017
      Topics: 1
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      without a doubt #1 as i have struggled with gender and sexuality issues all my life,  also i have a great wife and family and my coming out to my wife has left our marriage of one of convenience only

    • #346145
      Paula F
      Participant
      Registered On: August 7, 2019
      Topics: 9
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      The only answer for me is #2.  I would wish to live out my life as a real life woman.  Now if we could just backdate the change also, omg heaven for sure, I would hope.

      I am currently going through what I consider my LAST round of counseling and will decide soon if I am going to go to the full conclusion of my journey, knowing the expenses and tribulation of transition, or will remain as I am now, healthy and happy.

      PaulaF

    • #346144
      Falecia McGuire
      Participant
      Registered On: January 11, 2019
      Topics: 7
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      Thank you Gabrielle,

      IMHO, your survey was insightful in the choices available.  While the choice of moving back and forth at will would seem to be a dream many of us share, that would be too easy.  And, while #3 is the only genuine achievable alternative, #4, so to speak, would be the greatest fantasy.  Here’s the thing that amazes me most.  At various times throughout my life I might have chosen either #s 1 or 2 because crossdressing was both tedious and compelling.  I have longed for a simpler life as just a man.  On the other hand, there have times when I was so enthralled with my femininity that I would have quickly chosen womanhood.  Now I am older and wiser.  I love my family, my career, and the life I have lived as a man.  I have no experience as a woman, so I can’t know my level of satisfaction.  What I do know is that I have been blessed with a wonderful feminine experience that, while causing pain and frustration, has been enormously fulfilling.  I selected number 3 in a flash.  There really is no other choice!  So much of life is imagination anyway.

      FAM

    • #346112
      Lisa Brown
      Participant
      Registered On: October 30, 2019
      Topics: 0
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      I have always wanted to be a real woman.  No matter what I do, even having surgery,  I won’t truly be what I dream of.  I don’t know why I wasn’t born a woman, but I hate being male. I have never felt comfortable being who I am, and being a crossdresser makes me feel even more uncomfortable with myself.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #346106
      Christinajane
      Participant
      Registered On: October 9, 2018
      Topics: 0
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      I would love to say the first box but there is no way. It’s funny I think most cis girls entertain being a man and it’s benefits.  I know lots of guys that are total male and life would certainly be a lot easier that way. I totally relate to and enjoy being “one of the girls”. The thought of losing my femininity kind of scares me. I don’t think I could ever disregard that part of me.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #346061
      Lee Ann Rakers
      Participant
      Registered On: August 18, 2019
      Topics: 4
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      The answer to your PS is easy.

      I would live out my days as a woman.

      Amanda.

      PS – yes I really want to be Amanda.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #346057
      Stephanie Kennedy
      Participant
      Registered On: March 15, 2019
      Topics: 9
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      Hi Gabrielle. Great topic If i was asked to answer this question 2 years ago I would of picked #1 without question. My desire to express my femininity my entire life was and still is very exhilarating but it has been just too much trouble trying to maintain two identities. One or the other not getting the attention that each of them deserved. I know the right one has always been the female part of me. I just did not have the body first of all. I did have several opportunities in my life to make it right and i backed out both times. I could not go through with it. I do regret now it in some ways. What I have achieved with male body was a reasonable and very acceptable standard of living financially. Male privilege had a lot to do with it. Why give up something that valuable that is given without even asking. I know it it sad to say it but i gave up my true identity for financial success. I also found a very loving and loyal wife that has come to know the true me and some how accepts who i am. I truly wanted to be the man she fell in love with all the time . It was not for me it was for her. We have two lovely children who gave us 5 grandchildren.. So today I would pick #2 the torment of not accepting and denying who i really am has finally got to me. I know my wife will accept it. I do not think it would not be her preference but she would allow it because she knows it will make me feel joy and happiness. She loves it when i am happy. The lovely qualities of the feminine nature come out in me and i  love feeling those qualities. You are right it was and still is a uninvited dilemma we all had to deal with. We make choices when dealing with this dilemma our entire life. Today #2 is my choice. Thank you for this thought provoking question. Luv Stephanie

    • #346041
      Laura Lovett
      Participant
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
      Topics: 6
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      As far as I see it, those boxes just replace one uninvited dilemma with another.

      The 3rd box is particularly toxic, as it says “Shut up and quit whining”.

      It’s not a whine to complain that we’re marginalised for the way we like to dress – appearance is a personal choice, and to dictate a person’s dress is tantamount to saying that there’s a uniform way we’re allowed to look, mostly based on where we live, and what people around us think.

      Why do we need anyone’s permission to dress a particular way?

      We don’t – only our own.

      The uninvited dilemma is not that we are different – everybody is different, that’s a given.

      The dilemma stems from perception.

      That the specific difference we share, our live of feminine attire, may not be accepted by other people.

      Their problem, not ours, but there are people who want to make it our problem, so our dilemma is: Do we risk upsetting people by dressing how we want?

      Framed like that, the solution becomes easier.

      We need to help others understand the ridiculousness of their perception.

      Why be upset about clothing?

      There are way bigger things to get upset and be shocked about.

      Climate change, deforestation, wars, pestilence, famine, death  – the full apocalyptic set.

      Wearing dresses doesn’t come close. Half the population can do it without issues, why not the other half? It’s only clothing!

      And it’s only perception.

      There are plenty of people who accept cross dressing, often to their own surprise!

      It’s as big a deal as you allow it to become.

      Hiding it for decades is not a great start.

      Mea culpa!

      So, as I’m not accepting the premise or the nature of the dilemma, I reject the boxes.

      No-one puts me in a box!

      Love Laura

       

    • #346033
      Diane
      Participant
      Registered On: August 6, 2018
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      That was a difficult question.  I chose Box 3 simply because of family and close friends and not wanting to cause any upset or leave them.  Had that not been an issue I would definitely have gone for Box 2.  My preferred option, had it been available, is the one which Celeste would have chosen as well (Box 4 – to be able to switch between male and female bodies whenever I wanted).

    • #346028
      Natalie Nervous
      Participant
      Registered On: April 16, 2020
      Topics: 2
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      well said most ppl dont take the time to consider the consequences of thier decisions ,when presented with an opportunity of a lifetime. i would pick the second box, live out the rest of my days as a female . but stuck on a island with some hairy ass nasty guy forever , NO000000000000! my partner would have to be one fine ass T.g . i just think guys are gross and they are . so why not have a real woman keep me company instead?? lmao id never leave , you couldnt pay me to leave , the shit eating grin would be visible from orbit day or night !!!

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #346016
      Rachel Gwen
      Participant
      Registered On: April 28, 2020
      Topics: 1
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      This is some what of an interesting dilemma. Each box seems to be good in each of it’s own way. If I have to choose though, I would choose box B. I have thought about this situation a long time. As for the island, it really wouldn’t matter to me as long as it didn’t matter to the person I was there with.

    • #345973
      Alison Anderson
      Participant
      Registered On: October 15, 2018
      Topics: 3
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      I answered a similar question the same way; no change.  The main reason?  The butterfly effect.  How many people whom I touched would have been different if I were a female?  What about my children and grandchild?  Other CD’ers who need advuce?  Friends I met because of my crossdressing?

      I’m not unhappy as a male; I just wish I could express my feminine side without judgement or strange looks or endless questions from others if I do it otherwise presenting as a male.

      In any event, I also don’t believe in magically changing.

    • #345971
      K Swim
      Participant
      Registered On: July 8, 2019
      Topics: 11
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      If I could rewind and start over, my luck might cause me to be miserable. I’m a guy who loves wearing women’s swimwear and even though I use breast forms with them, I don’t consider myself as a female.

      As far as everything else goes, my only problem in life is that I have no significant other. My finances are stable, and the economic impact of covid-19 had no effect on me.  Starting over, my life could totally suck.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #345970
      Celeste Jo
      Participant
      Registered On: April 26, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 30
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      I am comfortable as I am, a male who likes to feel sexy and feminine.  However, I would like the universe to allow me to switch from a male to female body whenever I want.

    • #345960
      Kelly Ann
      Participant
      Registered On: February 24, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 80
      Has thanked: 77 times
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      Hi Grabillie

       

      I Chose box two to become the woman I always wanted to become.

      I’ve always known I was different from an early age but back then didn’t understand why but as I got a little bit older my feminine side started to show and I’ve never looked back and know so many years later I’m expressing my feminine side more

       

      Kelly Ann💋

    • #345957
      Bettylou Cox
      Participant
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
      Topics: 14
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      Interesting “what if” question.  My sense of obligation to family would cause me to choose the 3rd box.  But IF that were not a factor, it would be #2 in a heartbeat.  The first box is a non-starter, because I was never a fit in male society.

    • #345946
      Lisa Fox
      Participant
      Registered On: March 24, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 36
      Has thanked: 471 times
      Been thanked: 213 times

      Hi Gabbi,

      Great question and very difficult!  I am not sure if my answer is based on the current mood I am in and could change, but I selected the second button.  I really do not like the dilemma and if I had to choose one or the other, well…  My concern in selecting two was more related to family and I extrapolated “financial” to family.

      Hugs,

      Lisa

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