The voice of my life

[Freja Christensen]

Hey girls,
it was a long journey for me: from the first shy and secret attraction in feminine clothing to current me stepping out in public Dresses up with no fear.

But whenever i have to interact with others my confidence vanishes because i have fear of my own voice. Mostly it is no big deal being a customer and order something and pay. But i avoid any further situation where i have to talk a lot or either have a discussion with having me a different opinion.

First of all is my uncertainty about the person i am or the one i represent. I am a crossdresser not a transgender, so i have to accept that there will always be a male and a female part in me. I am sure that poeple who look at me in detail can always figure out that i’m not a genetic girl. I am finde with that, because my visual passing is that good that i feel save and relaxed in public.

My next big goal is to gain the same ablility to interact with everyone confident either dressesed up or not maybe without even changing my voice totally.

I’m intrested in how you deal with that.
So you have a Male and a female voice?
Which steps die you take?
Can you give me any hints on what to focus first and than?

[Angela Booth]

This is something that a lot of us share and see as an issue – the voice.  How did I overcome this issue?

When I started to go out I was very scared but was lucky to have come out to family, friends and started to have the occasional trip out. I was more concerned with how I looked and rarely talked as my sister or mother would do the talking. Once I became more confident in how I looked I would go out more with friends and started to go alone as well. I only talked if absolutely necessary and consciously put on a softer voice which began to come naturally over time and worked well. You only have to listen to the range of womens voices to see there is quite a range and that you can fit yours into that range with practice. You can look at the tutorials online which can help to change your range and breathing. It all helps.

Once I started to go out regularly I had to talk and my friends would give me encouragement saying that I had a soft voice which fitted in with the way I looked and got no adverse reactions.

Confidence is the key moving forward as looking like a natural woman and even with a ‘different’ voice the whole image and sound is accepted as the female seen. The first impression is of a female so the voice is secondary and if you continue with confidence, act naturally then the belief from those you meet and interact with is female. Occasionally it is obvious that they may know but I didn’t shy away and continue with the business at hand which refocused the minds, confidence!

I have lived through your worries and come out the other side knowing that I am now seen by people as a woman. I hope this helps.

My best wishes to you Frija.

 

[Alison Anderson]

I’ve learned a couple of things from voice coaches over the years (they were invited to our group meetings, I didn’t take individual lessons).

First, I listen to the pitch of my voice.  I get that in my head, and then go up half an octave.  In other words, from the pitch, I sing do-re-mi-fa-sol.  I talk at sol instead of at do.  This gives me a higher pitch, doesn’t sound falsetto, and is not so high that I couldn’t modulate my voice around this note.

Second, I open my throat when I talk.  Similar to what they tell singers, not to sing from the throat.  This is a subtle change, but it eliminates the male buzz in the throat,   Remembering to do this is probably the hardest.

These two will not change your voice because there is still the issue of resonance.  If a male and female sang at the same pitch, you could still tell me which voice is which because the male’s voice sounds bigger.  He has a bigger space for the sound to vibrate in his head.

Some people compensate for this by talking in a whisper or being breathy.  The problem with these techniques is that you will lose any feminine quality as soon as you have to put volume into it.

Instead, what I learned is to make use of the smaller space in your head, namely your nasal cavity.  It requires experimentation because you don’t want to sound exceptionally nasal when you talk, but I find pushing somewhere between half and two thirds of the voice into your nose will make it smaller and more feminine, yet not incredibly nasal sounding.

I find these techniques work well enough for making “small talk,” quick conversations with people.

When you get comfortable with this, you can go add to it.  A little more advanced would be to make your vowels longer and your words flow smoothly (legato) whereas men talk choppy (staccato). Also learn to talk with your hands and modulate your voice a little to emphasize words as you speak.  These are secondary techniques that aren’t incredibly necessary to start, but will help once you get the first few steps down pat.

There are more advanced things too (word choices or talking around a subject and going off on tangents mid thought) that I’m not going to go into.

[Lauren Mugnaia]

The question of how to develop a feminine voice has been brought up numerous times here on the CDH forums.
It took me almost a year to finally be happy with my female voice. I listened to many online feminine voice coaches and teachers, some more helpful than others but all had some value. I already had a soft and rather high voice to start with so that made things easier. The most valuable things I learned and practiced were as follows:
-You have to learn how to raise your larynx, or voicebox. When you speak in a deep voice you can feel where the voicebox is, as you raise the pitch you can feel the larynx move higher in your throat. You want to keep it there.
-Do not go anywhere near speaking in falsetto, it DOESN’T work!
-Listen to other girls and try to emulate how they speak, vocal feminine mannerisms.
-Listen to female singers and try to sing along with them, might sound weird but it works.
-Start recording yourself and compare as you progress.
-Finally, practice, practice, practice, it takes time but it is well worth it to have a nice feminine sounding voice. The ladies I work with all tell me that I have a nice sounding sweet feminine voice.

hugs,

Lauren M

[Fiona Black]

Freja,

Changing your voice to actually sound like a female is not easy and can be a long, involved process. Other posters here have given you some good insight into how they do it.

When I first started going out in public, I rarely spoke but obviously that won’t work long term. I then tried to mimic a female voice but I sounded very “breathy”, nervous and was hard to hear. So I stopped that and now just use my male voice but speak slower and somewhat softer than when in drab. And so far everything is fine. My nervousness has all but disappeared. Most people don’t seem to care at all.

Fiona

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