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Its been a busy week of experiences and the mental processes that go with them, I think it all started with Sam’s posts lol, so I’ll blame/credit her.
I was involved in a backyard building project over this past weekend. It was for people within a younger social group I have fairly regular contact with and have had since before I started within my femme journey.
One of the guys that was going to be there seemed to have become more standoffish in his attitude towards me once he was made aware, I automatically assumed he disapproved of my life choice and clothing.
There were three of us guys, their wives or girlfriends and a couple of children when we started but the guy whos house it was at got called to go to work within a couple hours and the girls and kids seem to disappear shortly thereafter. We were making pretty good progress but there wasn’t much talking going on between us, it lacked the friendly banter and I could almost physically feel his tension. The female homeowner came out with some drinks and snacks for us, the three of us talked easily for a few minutes and then she excused herself saying she and this guys gf were heading out to get some things for the later planned bbq.
Once she left it almost instantly became quiet again while we finished our little break, I didn’t want things to be like this, it bugged me, so I decided to get it out and over with asking him if there was a problem. In regular male fashion he simply said “it’s nothing, lets just get this thing done”, I replied “well it sure feels like something, something about me, if me being dressed even this little bit is upsetting things I have other clothes, I’m not doing it to make anybody uncomfortable.” He said “no it’s fine” and picked up his tools to start back. “Apparently it’s not fine” I said “you’ve been different with me since I told you about my crossdressing and I’d like to understand why, I’m still the same person and we got along before.” I hadn’t moved yet, he was silent for a few seconds, then turned to look at me almost seeming deflated, sighed and sat back down, ” it just bugs me sometimes” he says “you’ve only been dressing a few years and…you just seem to own it, you don’t hide it and seem so confident.” “And why would that bother YOU” I asked. Well then the floodgates opened, he explained that he had been dressing on and off since his early teens but still kept it very secret even from his gf, although he wanted to be free he just couldn’t seem to do it and seeing me just made him more frustrated with himself and his attempts.
We continued talking, and not much more work got done for quite a while. When the girls got back, we apologized for the lack of progress, to which they just smiled and said in unison “thats ok”. I’ve wondered since if in fact our working alone together might have been planned.
Things were much better and we did finish, and as the girls were back in the house, we continued to talk about things. I let him know he could talk to me in confidence if he liked and I invited him to have a look at CDH suggesting that he not tell me the name he would use until he felt more secure that way he would feel freer about sharing.
Definately not what I had assumed.
That came to be longer than I thought it would, sorry.
Olivia
Wow , certainly a great result from an awkward situation , fingers crossed he gets some solace from sharing . Good on you Olivia for ” owning” it also 😊😊💐
Thanks for sharing your story Olivia.
I am sure our wonderful passion is a lot more common than most think. Just suppressed within many men under layers of societal conditioning that it is somehow wrong, gay, deviant in some way.
Part of me sees a lot of us here at CDH at the vanguard of change, chipping away at barriers, mental and physical, to make it acceptable in society to just wear what we want to wear without fear or prejudice.
I hope your friend can open up more to others. I know it is an individual choice and worries about reactions of family, friends, work etc weigh heavily on most. But secrets and suppressing our true self can be so toxic to ones mental health.
❤️B
Hi Liv!
I can’t speak for anyone else but I was certainly surprised by what his problem actually was. I think your offer to change clothes to set hin at ease was very sensitive of you. It really shows you care about his feelings and the experience of the group as well. I feel confident that the tow of you will now get the friendship back on track and possibly even closer as he becomes more comfortable with both of your situations.
Hugs
Autumn
Lovely princess Autumn
In order to diffuse a situation until a better resolution can be worked out I am absolutely willing to bend if I feel someone is legitimately uncomfortable. I’ve also found that by making the offer to change verbally it usually puts it back on them, and you get a “no,no, its fine” response. And I find it then opens a conversation.
Liv
More men then we could imagine want to cross-dress but men are taught that it is wrong and something is just wrong for wanting to do that. It was great that he started to talk with you about his crossdressing. You may help him in ways that no one else can. I absolutely LOVE wearing female garments and there is nothing wrong with me for liking those fashions.
Carla
Hi Olivia That sure took a different and Happier turn than I expected .
I am not very confrontational but in your case it really took a positive spin.
As usual you have given your friend some really good support and advice Just like you do for us all the time.
Thank you for sharing such a great story.
And thank you for being here and always taking the time to listen to us.
I always value you advice
Patty
Wow Olivia what a great story and a big box of kudos to you for the wonderful way you defused the sadness in his heart and helped him get aimed on the right path and steering him here to be helped where he needs it . you know we will help with whatever he needs and keep him going on the right path and a friendship for you to enjoy good job girlfriend .
Stephanie Bass
Thanks for sharing this. I love the way you wrote it. I was totally submerged in your story and loved the twist when it turned out he was jealous because he wanted to be more like you. It does make you wonder just how common this issue really is.
Have you ever considered being a writer? Or are you a writer? Because you have a great writing style.
Hi Diana, and thank you
As the constantly growing number of members at CDH shows, its big and it seems more are willing to buck the “norm” and start enjoying their life. Yay, to all of us.
No lol, I am definately not a writer, it must be he femme coming through. I just tried to ensure that the feelings of the actual event were reflected.
I can’t sing well either although I still do it, I guess I’ll keep my day job.
Hi Olivia, I loved your story; it was very engaging. One of my volunteer activities is to review and rate short films for an international film festival. Over the past few years, I’ve watched over 15,000 short films. In my opinion, your story would make a great short film. While I did figure out the ending early on (just due to my experience in story telling), I believe your story can be turned into an excellent script as it has a strong yet compassionate protagonist that would be liked by an audience, a nice twist near the end, and hey, a bonus, it shows crossdressers in a positive light. Thanks for sharing your story, Stay healthy, stay safe, All the Best, Hugs, Krista.
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