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    • #759475

      Hi All,

      I have some things I’d like to go over with a therapist. Does anyone have any recommendations for gender therapists in the Southern NJ/Philadelphia aea? The last time I spoke with a therapist about being a CD I knew more about the subject than she did! Hoping for better results this time.

      Thanks so much!

      -Jen

    • #759479
      Liz K
      Managing Ambassador

      Hi Jennifer,

      I don’t live in your area but I’m sure there are nearby gender therapists.  WPATH is a good resource to find one.  The link below will take you to their provider search engine.

      https://www.wpath.org/provider/search

      /EA

    • #759481

      I live in the UK, so can’t help with a suggestion. I can give my experience though.
      Thanks to the deeds of a family member, I fell into a very deep, dar depression. I needed help.
      My first counsellor was via my GP. He was young and newly qualified. He had no experience of dealing with how to come to terms with my brother’s deeds. Add to this my crossdressing and he was like a rabbit in the headlights. We parted ways after three visits.

      Then through a scheme operated by my wife’s employer, I went to an older, private practising counsellor. This woman was useless. Once she heard about my crossdressing, it was all that she wanted to talk about. She knew nothing about crossdressing. On our second meeting she said “I’ve been doing a bit of research about crossdressing. Do you plan to become a woman, as most crossdressers do?”…. I spent 4 weeks teaching her about crossdressing and not talking about dealing with my brother’s nasty deeds. I stopped going to her when she asked if she could see me dressed. I took along a change of clothes, I was not as open as I am today. She left the room, I got changed and knocked the door to tell her it was OK to come in. She came in and laughed. She laughed!!!! That was my final visit.

      The third counsellor was one I found after searching and reading profiles etc.
      She was Alex. Alex is a transwoman. A wonderful, hairy (full beard) transwoman. We had a lot of interests in common and we got on very well indeed. Alex would listen. She would talk about my brother’s deeds and how I should interact with my thoughts and demons. She talked about my crossdressing. She understood. She was tough. She wouldn’t take any BS. She stood up for my wife’s feelings. My wife was struggling with my crossdressing as it ramped up during my depression. Alex often took her side of the argument (my wife was never at the meetings, I just talked about her). She played devil’s advocate and gave me fair and balanced direction. She also told me when I should stand up for myself. Alex was amazing! She lived about a 30 to 40 minute drive from me. Her home was her office. It was a safe place, so I could go in Cerys mode. These visits were some of the first outside excursions for Cerys. The distance meant that the drive home gave me time to reflect on what was said. Alex saved me! Sh got me thinking straight again. She helped with my demons. She helped me understand and accept my crossdressing. She knew early on that I was not transgendered.
      The experience of the first two drove home the importance of research.
      No.1 was direct from the GP. He was allocated.
      No.2 was chosen because she was local, and one of the few local counsellors on the scheme’s referral list.
      No.3 was my own choice from a long list of counsellors in my area. The only downside was that I was paying, not the NHS or a scheme…. It cost me a lot of money. I saw Alex for over 2 years. Twice a month at first, then monthly from then on. It was money well spent.

      So my advice is research. Talk with potential candidates. See if others have used them. Be specific when asking about experience in the matters that you need help with.
      The biggest advice is be open and honest. Hold nothing back. They cannot help you if you hide tings from them or brush things under the carpet.

      Counselling does work, but you have to have the right one. If you feel one is not working, move on. Having thr wrong counsellor can make things worse.

      Cerys

      • #759493

        Thank you Ceres! I’m so happy you had a good outcome with your therapy. I have been doing some research of therapists in my area but I am hoping that one or two of the girls would have had some first hand recommendations of local therapists to help me avoid some of your less helpful experiences.  Thanks again.

        -Jen

    • #759490
      Megan Kelly
      Princess - Annual

      Hi Jennifer,

      In my region I did an internet search of registered counsellors/therapists. All accredited therapists will give a brief bio/description of themselves and their practice. From there I was able to select someone who aligned with my needs. The results have been very helpful. I hope that helps,
      Megan

    • #759496

      I went on psychology today and compared their searches with my insurance company’s and got started that way. Admittedly the person I found directed me to another but so far it is working out well

    • #759498
      Cathryn
      Lady

      Along these same lines, have people found that male or female Therapist are better for dealing with?

      • #759508

        I think I’d  be FAR more comfortable with a female therapist.

        -Jen

        • #759516
          Natalie Dane
          Duchess

          Hi Jen,

          Don’t rule out speaking with a male therapist. I had a Psych professor in college (20 years ago in Suburban Chicago), who was a specialist in Gender Studies. He even ran a small gender conference at the time which I attended. Attendees of the conference included many of the CD’s and Transwomen from his practice!

          I just wish I knew more about myself at that time. Maybe I could have gotten some free therapy!

          -Natalie

        • #759621

          I’m with you. This has definitely been the case for me. I have always found females to be more sensitive to the issues folks like us face. My most recent therapist even encouraged me to come dressed to our sessions. That was a game changer for me.

    • #759505
      Fiona Black
      Baroness - Annual

      Jennifer,

      Try contacting someone at Trans Central PA (https://transcentralpa.org/). This is the group that helps organize the annual Keystone Conference in PA and they hold events and have a number of members in & around Philly so maybe they can suggest someone. Good luck.

    • #759512
      Samantha R
      Duchess

      I know the feeling. I went to a therapist to figure out why I like to cross dress, just to understand. I was her first crossdresser and taught her a lot,

    • #759589

      I found mine through a Google search for therapists which brought me to Psychology Today (I believe someone already mentioned it).  There were a list of therapists which gave their specialties.  I selected a couple and was very lucky, the first one I spoke with became my therapist.  I wanted a female as I didn’t think I could talk with a male about my crossdressing.  My therapist has worked with a large number of transgender clients and it is very easy to talk to her.  We have discussed a number of things besides my dressing.  She has a private office so I am able to dress for sessions if I desire to.  When I have she has been very complimentary of my look and calls me Suzanne.  Best of luck in your search for a therapist and understand it may take a few before you find a good match.

      XOXO
      Suzanne

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