Thinking of coming out

[Andrea Hopkins]

So here is the story, my family do not know I CD, but lately I have been thinking of coming out to them however my nerves I don’t think can handle it right now. Both my brother and my father(Mom passed away in 2019) have very out there opinions of trans community, I don’t want to say they are transphobic because at the end of the day they don’t really care what others do in there own lives, but with me being family I don’t know if they could accept this.

Really I am looking for tips on how to come out to family members.

Any help is good help.

[Angela Booth]

In your profile you say you have come out to your Ex and 10 year old daughter. It seems that you have already taken the path. It seems a level of acceptance there.

Your father and brother have views but it may be different towards you. If they love you as part of the family they could accept it. Whether they embrace it or want anything to do with the dressing is another matter.

From the brief explanation you give it seems that your dressing is at a stage where you want to progress further. Live full time perhaps which means the family would have to know.

From my own experience the starting point is that you know where you are going with the dressing and comfortable in your mind. There is no easy way to tell some one but having told an Ex is experience you have.

If you feel the need then just tell them like you did your ex. 

I hope it goes well.

 

[Jones]

My ex once told me when we were married that she would be accepting of our son being a cd if he was but she had a hard time letting her hubby go passed the panty stage.

[Andrea Hopkins]

My Ex wife was a little different, I knew she was ok with it before I told her, she had made a few comments at work. However my brother is the super macho type. My Dad is the wild card. I think I will wait until the time is right and just test the water, like I have with just about everyone I have told. I don’t know why telling them gives me so much anxiety. Before my Mom passed I hadn’t spoken to anyone in my family for at the shortest 3 years.

[Ellie Hope]

Andrea,

Thanks for sharing this difficult issue. Coming out to my family and loved ones was one of the most difficult and nerve wracking things I have ever done, but it is also one of the most fulfilling, exciting, and uplifting experiences of my life. What a burden had been released off my shoulders. And in nearly every case (not all, regrettably) it was met with acceptance and kindness. I feel so  relieved now that I can go freely in public, to work, to meet with friends and family as Ellie, the person I am inside. And Ellie is now whom they expect to see, not my old male persona. If you feel that Andrea is the person you now are and intend to continue to be, I encourage you to free Andrea, come out to those closest and most important to you first. You are very likely to get their support which will make it easier to continue blossoming to the rest. Your brother and Dad may have trouble with it at first, but time is on your side. I think they will eventually come around because they love you and no one wants to lose that. It’s true my perspective is shaped by my own situation as my family is close and open minded. Although both my parents were deceased when I  came out, their acceptance I would not have questioned. Surprised and perhaps angry and disappointed with me at first, but I know they would quickly back me after the shock wore off. To me, the spouse has the most difficult time. But again, time, talk, and love came through. Take your time. At some point Andrea will insist on  taking over, at least that’s how it felt for me. She will be strong and help you thru this difficult stage. I am still coming out to friends, coworkers, and acquaintances, and it’s getting much easier. I hope you too will soon feel the relief of this behind you. Stay strong. (I have to keep telling myself that).

Hugs and Love,

Ellie

[Andrea Hopkins]

Thank you so much!

[Trisha Lilly Hibbert]

Hi Andrea, I have come out to my entire family and hace been 24/7 for 5 months. Here is an article on how I did it if you’re interested. https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/19-years-and-90-days/

I can say without a doubt that telling my Iranian war veteran dad that I wanted to crossdress was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m so glad I did.

I think Celeste’s idea of doing it in letter form is a fantastic idea.

Have courage honey and gl.

Love Trisha

[Andrea Hopkins]

Thank you for sharing that, it makes me feel a little better about my worries. Here’s hoping.

[Stephanie Bass]

Hi Andrea i dont have any advice to you as still in closet to family my wife knows amd is very supportive of Stephanie as she is in the home and not out side but … Just from me do whats in your heart girlfriend and good luck and always remember we are always here for you if you need us ..

Stephanie Bass

[Andrea Hopkins]

I would like to have it known, because honestly I am thinking of transitioning. I have thought about in the past and decided against it for the sake of my marriage, but unbeknownst to me my marriage was falling apart by that point, and now that I am finalizing my divorce, its got me thinking that I just want to be my self, be damned what anyone else wants this is what I want. The only person I have to listen to is my daughter, and she is the only one I will consider when it comes to this.

 

Edit : If this seems a little angry its not I have had way to much caffeine today, little loopy

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by Andrea Hopkins.

[Andrea Hopkins]

That is a really good idea, thank you so much, and sorry if it seemed I was angry, I’ve had way past my limit of energy drinks today.

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