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This is what I’ve been contemplating. “Male” and “Female” are biological terms. All species that reproduce sexually are divided this way. This is set by nature. DNA. However, “Masculine” and “Feminine” are sociological terms, not biological. They are an overlay, how society expects us to act, to think, to dress as a member of our gender. In order to comply, each of us, male and female, must deny some part of ourselves to fit. Some of us have a harder time denying our true selves, and decided to express that which is forbidden. There is nothing wrong with us.
I can’t remember how many times in the past I have said ” nah, I’m just a guy in touch with his feminine side “. If I had my ” proper ” body, I’d be saying ” I’m just a girl that’s aware of my masculine side “, which is more accurate. Just doesnt show that way from the outside.
Most certainly nothing wrong with us, it’s everyone else. Always hard to convince the majority they’re wrong though. Bunch of stubborn, fearful, dumb as….. etc…
Stevie
I am impressed! Not many seem to be able to distinguish between objective reality and subjective reality although both are, in their way, very real. I tend to carry the ideas you express a bit further and distinguish between man/woman and female/male. Being a woman is being feminine, regardless of one’s sex. Hence de Beauvoir’s dictum that there is more to being a woman than being female.
Araminta.
Tabitha
You are spot on honey, there is nothing wrong with us at all, it is just the majority of society expects us to act in a certain way and cannot/will not allow us to make our own choices….they only need to learn three little words ” live with it”…hugs, Grace xx
Yes, and “society” depends on the country or even area you live in.
We were all conceived female, but roughly 50% of us picked up an extra chromosome.
Gender is a construct – a pigeon-hole into which a huge number of people actually do not fit or even want to fit.
Cross dressing is not actually forbidden in many countries, least of all the UK, not even in the bible, unless you count Deuteronomy, bless him!
It’s a culture shock to many, even after Bowie in the 1960s and the gender benders of the 1980s – 40 years ago…
Time to embrace the future.
And I think this is a more popular thought by the day.
Love Laura
Good Morning Tabitha!
Well written post! I have thought that those who don’t accept us are truly denying a part of themselves, but are too blind to see that. So they project it onto us!
Hopefully one day, society can wake up to this. Sadly I don’t think it will be soon.
Hugs to all my sisters!
Kay
Some things I have read describe the human race as seeking, even being dependent on order and normalcy. No one questions which side of the road we drive on, though several places drive on the wrong side ( but it is the normal side for them). Our particular niche collides at full speed and head on with the order of the society we belong to. We as CD and TG disrupt some peoples happy little perception of what is ‘normal’, just as surely as if we turned our car around and drove the wrong way, or walked against the crowd on a busy sidewalk. Our perception of our normal flies in the face of what society has struggled to build to insulate themselves from things that are so different to what they are comfortable with.
Like people who try and walk up the down escalator, or enter a building where it is plainly labeled as the exit. The result is utter chaos to some people and begins to erode their neatly ordered world. To us, our world is in good order, it is all the others that are chaotic, and hence, unaccepting of a different normal. Keep up the struggle ladies and maybe, just maybe we can adjust the flow of society so that we are accommodated just as everyone else is.
PaulaF
Spot on Tabitha, I totally agree. Gender norms are instilled in us from a very early age. A couple of months back my therapist had me do some homework. Write down all the incidents from childhood where these norms were implicitly or explicitly taught. Also think about how fashions change, makeup was for men, tights, wigs…. clothes have no gender except that given to them by the society/environment in which we live.
stay safe girls, and be cute alwaysSeren xx
Hi Tabitha You are so right there is nothing wrong with us . Our community has been a part of all societies since the beginning of time. I believe the Asian culture has been more accepting. We definitely are not a new community and have had to deal with discrimination and considered a out cast in the western society. We represent a small part of the general population so it was easy for society to try to hide us by simply saying we are not acceptable Society gave us tools like shame and guilt to use when ever we felt differently. I guess you can say those tools do work. Society does not care about the psychological damage it has caused to a lot of us. I am happy that there are services for the younger generations who recognize that they feel differently about the gender they were born. It saddens me that the opportunities for trans people are so limited. Those of us who can present a more attractive image of a female seem to have a pathway to prostitution that may help them survive economically. The physical and mental abuse that is self inflicted or by others does go unreported. I know a lot of us wished we decided to come out earlier and begin living a life of the gender we feel is the right gender not the one that was presented at birth. Please take a moment to realize the financial and social successes that were achieved by not coming out earlier in life. May be my mother was right when she gave me the tools of shame and guilt after discovering my desire to express my self in fem gender. She understood how hard it was for her to survive despite being born with the right body. Just something to think about when we get into the mode of feeling sorry for our selves. The old saying be careful what you wish for it may become true and then what would you do?
Luv Stephanie
When I experience difficulties (snide remarks, etc.) from people who are ‘brain-washed’ by society concerning our lifestyle, how do I react? When I talk about social ‘bad-mouthing’ or intolerance , people who disagree with me say I’m over-reacting, while others say I’m under-reacting. Who is right? Everybody thinks their ‘norm’ is right, and thinks anything different from their ‘norm’ is wrong. As to peoples attitudes, which drive their behavior, I say that attitudes won’t change until people quit believing they’re always right and whoever is different from them is always wrong. At the risk of being called a ‘Debbie downer’, let me say the best we can hope for is the elimination of physical violence against our community, by vigorous legal prosecution of any and all offenders.
I couldn’t agree more Tabitha. There is nothing wrong with any of us, the only thing wrong is the narrow view point of society of what is accepted and expected. We are all individuals that have our own feelings, wants and needs. Just because others may not feel the same we are supposed to conform to their ideals of normalcy. What is normal? For me normal is living my life as Jennifer so my code is Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead. Here I come. You keep going girlfriend.
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