• This topic has 22 replies, 20 voices, and was last updated 3 weeks ago by Bobbi.
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  • #371757
    Christine Anderson
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    Registered On: April 29, 2020
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    ladies

    this is a huge thing: my workplace is recognizing gender fluidity in the workplace and i am going to be the first to pass the gender barrier MTF here. they have tasked me with writing up the conversation to co workers what to expect and the like. This is a dream come true that in a couple of weeks i came come into the office en femme and be me.

    I need your help, what should i include in the conversation. What points should i include? this affects us all and i since i am blazing the trail, i want you all to be able to follow. I have been promised that i am protected in this and i will not lose my job nor should i be harrassed about it(though i know some religious people in the office will be very mad). But this is for all of us, so please help. Help us be able to be us in the workplace. My brain and my experience make me a good worker not clothes. the clothes are for me

    so anyway, please let me know any talking points! thank you

    love

    Christine

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    • #388854
      Bobbi
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      Wear black flats.  They go with everything, & you’ll be comfortable all day!

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    • #388475
      Paula F
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      Christine, I have also come out to my supervisor, who informed our corporate people about my decision.  I am not the first in the company to do so, but I am the first at our location.  When I addressed the other people I work with, I simply asked that they not treat me any differently than they have for the last 7 years, but just to address me in the feminine.  Our uniforms are unisex in design, so that is not a big issue, but working out any changes in my licensing and accreditation will take time to get worked out, but the people at corporate have done it before and know the hoops and hurdles I will have to go through to maintain all of the legal things.

      Just be yourself, answer their questions directly and as truthful as possible, and their curiosity will pass.  Other than how they will now see you, not much will change but your attire.

      I wish you good luck and hope you will keep us all up to date n your progress.  Go get ’em girl.

      PaulaF

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    • #388165
      Dani CD
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      Registered On: September 10, 2020
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      Thats exciting news Christine! Just remember we are all human on the inside and as long as you act and look professional it shouldn’t matter what gender you dress as. Congratulations and good luck.                         Dani👩🏻‍🔧

    • #388152
      Christine Anderson
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      Registered On: April 29, 2020
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      ok ladies

      https://www.target.com/p/women–39-s-plus-size-printed-long-sleeve-tiered-dress—a-new-day–8482–purple-1x/-/A-79721481

       

      what color shoes should i wear? this will be my coming out dress for work

       

    • #387299
      Michelle Brown
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      Christine,that is wonderful news.I assume management has informed those that need to know.To borrow a phrase from the Army “Be the best you can be”.After all,the only that has changed so far is the outer appearence.Be honest with yourself and others and be practical about the restroom situation with your female co workers.One step at a time girl and CONGRATULATIONS.

    • #387269
      Samantha Aviadd
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      Registered On: July 24, 2020
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      First of all congratulations cause your company value who you are and what you represent. Do your best cause you be open doors for a future generations. Also share with everybody who love you and let’s support your company we need let it know we appreciate those companies and we will show our appreciation to them. Hugs.

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    • #373019
      Anonymous
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      I really don’t know how to answer that that’s so complicated I mean if I ask any of us girls on here why do you cross dress in like to portray yourself as a woman me myself I would say I don’t know it just a compulsion I’ve had since I was a young boy I just know it brings me joy makes me very beautiful but I really don’t know why I love the portray myself as a woman wish I could be more help girlfriend 💋

    • #372234
      Bianca Everdene
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      Registered On: April 11, 2017
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      Fantastic news Christine

      The world needs a lot more of this. Positive open acceptance of gender fluidity. A huge leap forward for you, exciting times.

      Guess you will be part of getting  all your work colleagues on board. Open discussions/meetings to try to overcome mental barriers. Also practical issues like restrooms, changing areas, health and safety, etc.

      And yes bottom line is it should not affect ones ability to do the job and progress your career, so discriminatory issues may be real as well.

      So happy for you, and hope you keep us all up to date with developments at work.

      ❤️B

       

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    • #372104
      Beatress Donald
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      Registered On: September 4, 2019
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      Sorry I meant Christine.  At 70 I seek forgiveness.  Hope all works out well.

      Bea

    • #372103
      ANDREA RAVEN
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      Registered On: December 21, 2017
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      The first thing I would stress is that you are still you, the feminine side has always been there, it’s just that your fellow workers never saw it. I think you should talk about what it means to you and how important it is for you to be able to express yourself in a way that fits with your inner self. Adding a bit about the fact that you will continue to do your job to the best of your abilities, you will  be happy to talk about yourself (within reason) and that you hope every one will respect you, just the way anyone deserves respect.

       

      I wish you the very best, this sounds very exciting, please let us know how you get on!

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    • #372033
      RachelAnn
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      Registered On: April 17, 2019
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      Interesting, congratulations on finding a work place willing to go to such lengths.

      If it were me I would include something along the lines of: in navigating our work and home life balance in these unprecedented times, the company has recognized that people who are happy and comfortable are more productive and content in their jobs.

      congrats again, good luck!!

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    • #372001
      Beatress Donald
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      Congratulations Vanessa, this is such a wonderful thing for you and for the entire community.  I am a very “religious” person and I would not be offended at all, but would welcome you with open arms trying to express God’s love.  I hope and pray you are presently surprised and overwhelmingly accepted.

      Bea

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    • #371995
      stephanie plumb
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      Registered On: November 17, 2018
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      You will come as quite a surprise to most of them, but after a few days they will have become used to you and pay you less attention.

      I can only speak for myself of course but here’s my talk on it.

      Give advanced notice, either yourself or better still management that on x day you will be coming in and presenting as a female.  If you do it, you can say that you have no wish to offend anyone, but also you  hope that everyone will accept the new you. If management do it they can add a comment that no form of harassment to you will be tolerated.

      I would go in, looking my best of course, and appropriately dressed for the workplace and your role. Smile (if you can!) and say good morning etc. and take your seat.  You are half way there already! Just try to be your normal self.  You don’t have to make excuses, or be apologetic, or explain yourself. If asked just say that this is the way you have always been and you are relieved that at last you can be yourself.

      The shock/surprise is over, the wondering will have started. Those who are okay with it will no doubt have questions or words of support and encouragement. The nay-sayers or those uncomfortable will most likely ignore you.  Some will initially be a little embarrassed to talk to you. But it will all settle down after a day or two.  Whatever is said about you out of hear shot will be challenged by those who support you.   Possibly a small minority will shun you. But I bet many will be VERY curious and want to find out more about you.

      In no time at all you will have been accepted.

      I worked in a Royal Mail Sorting Office where gay people were completely accepted in the work place. Those who were negative just kept it to themselves. Any attempt at criticism or hostility was swiftly dealt with by the workforce.

      Stephanie P.

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    • #371974
      Casey Amber Twitchings
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      Congratulations Christine. I don’t have any suggestions for you but I do have a rebuttal for those religious folks who will be mad at what’s happening.

      Everybody knows that Deuteronomy says pretty much that men shouldn’t wear women’s clothes. However, the same or the next verse also says that women shouldn’t wear men’s clothes. No pants, no jeans, no t-shirts, absolutely nothing unisex. Then it goes on to say that women shouldn’t use men’s items/tools. No hammers, no screwdrivers, no “swords” or guns, etc. Which pretty much means JoAnne Leibeler is going to burn for all eternity because she’s a carpenter.

      So either we’re sinning because we crossdress, which means most women are sinning too (I don’t remember God saying specifically that it’s OK for women to wear pants) for wearing “men’s clothes” and using men’s items/tools, or those verses are no longer valid. Now there’s an entire 7 course meal for thought.

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    • #371932
      Bettylou Cox
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      Good for you, Christine!

      As for things you might say, consider these:

      Contrary to the old saying, Clothes do not make the man (or woman); it’s what beneath the clothes which matters.

      This thing we do is neither illegal, immoral nor fattening.

      And for the “religious” objectors:  I’m one of “them”, myself, and we are many.  And we find nothing immoral about covering our bodies, however we choose to do it.  Best of luck to you.

      Hugs,

      Bettylou

       

    • #371904
      Jenny Jones
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      Wow! That is awesome! Such a great place! I hope they actually do it all right! But seriously you break that barrier and show your work what’s what! Everything you said in your post is so true, I am happy you are able to make this step!

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    • #371785
      Laura Lovett
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      Registered On: March 26, 2020
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      Wow! Congratulations!

      I would try to engage religious people. If anyone points you to Deuteronomy, you’re on a winner. Any other passages would be fascinating!

      Best thing is to just own it.

      Be your femme self 100%, and really enjoy the experience – expect lots of curiosity and you won’t be disappointed, and thank people for questions, even if they’re impertinent!

      There are many people who secretly love and admire cross dressers, and you’ll find them.

      I think the main thing is to carry on as normally as possible, like cross dressing is perfectly normal, and take delight in the attention.

      You’re an ambassador for us all – don’t f*** it up (quote from Drag Race, meant humourously)!

      Love Laura

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    • #371784
      Mary Priscilla
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      Registered On: May 23, 2020
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      Christine:

      Having spent almost my entire career writing reports with messaging that many readers would not embrace, it is critically important to “know your audience” and structure your words accordingly.  Pay close attention to the demographic and management structure of your company.  Human relations should be able to assist.

      Next, be honest about who you are, your commitment to the company and desire to doing whatever to making it, I assume, a continuing success.  Sharing personal details about who you are in terms of social and humanity (i.e., working with a not-for-profit, etc.) commitments will Then, show respect for all the employees in general and those that may have personal, ethnic or religious concerns specifically.  Be humble but not apologetic.

      Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions.

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    • #371768
      Anonymous
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      Congrats.

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    • #371767
      Laura Jane Moore
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      Christine… so happy for you…. you are a brave girl. Wishing you many happy years living and working as Christine.

      Sounds like you may have this covered….but my only suggestion to add is to judge you by your work and not how outrageously beautiful you are… lol… I kid…  but they should judge your soul and not your outward appearance. Not all will accept you but that is OK. Most importantly you accept yourself..

      God Bless

      Laura

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    • #371766
      Evany Evans
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      Registered On: August 6, 2020
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      Hi Vanessa! This is truly a dream come true! I’m so happy that you have the opportunity to do this! I would highly recommend highlighting how staff should receive the same undiscriminated treatment as customers are given. This would include the creation and maintaining of a positive environment where everyone is treated equally and everyone maintains an approachable, kind-hearted attitude. In order to allow the potential backlash to be identified and reduced, a possible method could be the use of an anonymous forum where employees can post their feedback regarding these changes, allowing various possible issues to be detected. This would allow these issues to be addressed carefully to allow everyone to maintain a positive attitude toward their workplace. This would also prevent anyone from lashing out in person and causing potential emotional harm to others or breaking co-worker relationships.

      I hope all goes wonderful for you in the end through this dream come true. You go girl!

      Evany

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    • #371759
      Vanessa Harris
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      Registered On: July 7, 2020
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      that is awesome! where do i apply!? this will never happen in my line of work but god that would be amazing! youre so lucky!

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