- August 7, 2020 at 10:06 am #371757Christine AndersonMemberRegistered On: April 29, 2020Topics: 4Replies: 7Has thanked: 20 timesBeen thanked: 78 times
this is a huge thing: my workplace is recognizing gender fluidity in the workplace and i am going to be the first to pass the gender barrier MTF here. they have tasked me with writing up the conversation to co workers what to expect and the like. This is a dream come true that in a couple of weeks i came come into the office en femme and be me.
I need your help, what should i include in the conversation. What points should i include? this affects us all and i since i am blazing the trail, i want you all to be able to follow. I have been promised that i am protected in this and i will not lose my job nor should i be harrassed about it(though i know some religious people in the office will be very mad). But this is for all of us, so please help. Help us be able to be us in the workplace. My brain and my experience make me a good worker not clothes. the clothes are for me
so anyway, please let me know any talking points! thank you
Total of 41 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- September 30, 2020 at 8:11 am #388854
- September 28, 2020 at 11:16 pm #388475Paula FParticipantRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 580Has thanked: 992 timesBeen thanked: 2025 times
Christine, I have also come out to my supervisor, who informed our corporate people about my decision. I am not the first in the company to do so, but I am the first at our location. When I addressed the other people I work with, I simply asked that they not treat me any differently than they have for the last 7 years, but just to address me in the feminine. Our uniforms are unisex in design, so that is not a big issue, but working out any changes in my licensing and accreditation will take time to get worked out, but the people at corporate have done it before and know the hoops and hurdles I will have to go through to maintain all of the legal things.
Just be yourself, answer their questions directly and as truthful as possible, and their curiosity will pass. Other than how they will now see you, not much will change but your attire.
I wish you good luck and hope you will keep us all up to date n your progress. Go get ’em girl.
- September 27, 2020 at 8:24 pm #388165Dani CDParticipantRegistered On: September 10, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 25Has thanked: 84 timesBeen thanked: 95 times
Thats exciting news Christine! Just remember we are all human on the inside and as long as you act and look professional it shouldn’t matter what gender you dress as. Congratulations and good luck. Dani👩🏻🔧
- September 27, 2020 at 7:38 pm #388152Christine AndersonMemberRegistered On: April 29, 2020Topics: 4Replies: 7Has thanked: 20 timesBeen thanked: 78 times
what color shoes should i wear? this will be my coming out dress for work
- September 24, 2020 at 9:47 pm #387299Michelle BrownParticipantRegistered On: August 23, 2015Topics: 2Replies: 60Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 138 times
Christine,that is wonderful news.I assume management has informed those that need to know.To borrow a phrase from the Army “Be the best you can be”.After all,the only that has changed so far is the outer appearence.Be honest with yourself and others and be practical about the restroom situation with your female co workers.One step at a time girl and CONGRATULATIONS.
- September 24, 2020 at 7:23 pm #387269Samantha AviaddParticipantRegistered On: July 24, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 14Has thanked: 25 timesBeen thanked: 44 times
First of all congratulations cause your company value who you are and what you represent. Do your best cause you be open doors for a future generations. Also share with everybody who love you and let’s support your company we need let it know we appreciate those companies and we will show our appreciation to them. Hugs.
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- August 11, 2020 at 8:00 am #373019AnonymousInactiveRegistered On:Topics: 35Replies: 473Has thanked: 1230 timesBeen thanked: 1379 times
I really don’t know how to answer that that’s so complicated I mean if I ask any of us girls on here why do you cross dress in like to portray yourself as a woman me myself I would say I don’t know it just a compulsion I’ve had since I was a young boy I just know it brings me joy makes me very beautiful but I really don’t know why I love the portray myself as a woman wish I could be more help girlfriend 💋
- August 9, 2020 at 2:17 am #372234Bianca EverdeneParticipantRegistered On: April 11, 2017Topics: 15Replies: 527Has thanked: 1692 timesBeen thanked: 1753 times
Fantastic news Christine
The world needs a lot more of this. Positive open acceptance of gender fluidity. A huge leap forward for you, exciting times.
Guess you will be part of getting all your work colleagues on board. Open discussions/meetings to try to overcome mental barriers. Also practical issues like restrooms, changing areas, health and safety, etc.
And yes bottom line is it should not affect ones ability to do the job and progress your career, so discriminatory issues may be real as well.
So happy for you, and hope you keep us all up to date with developments at work.
- August 8, 2020 at 11:47 am #372104Beatress DonaldMemberRegistered On: September 4, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 30Has thanked: 47 timesBeen thanked: 117 times
Sorry I meant Christine. At 70 I seek forgiveness. Hope all works out well.
- August 8, 2020 at 11:42 am #372103ANDREA RAVENParticipantRegistered On: December 21, 2017Topics: 6Replies: 269Has thanked: 22 timesBeen thanked: 537 times
The first thing I would stress is that you are still you, the feminine side has always been there, it’s just that your fellow workers never saw it. I think you should talk about what it means to you and how important it is for you to be able to express yourself in a way that fits with your inner self. Adding a bit about the fact that you will continue to do your job to the best of your abilities, you will be happy to talk about yourself (within reason) and that you hope every one will respect you, just the way anyone deserves respect.
I wish you the very best, this sounds very exciting, please let us know how you get on!
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- August 8, 2020 at 7:29 am #372033RachelAnnParticipantRegistered On: April 17, 2019Topics: 6Replies: 63Has thanked: 153 timesBeen thanked: 181 times
Interesting, congratulations on finding a work place willing to go to such lengths.
If it were me I would include something along the lines of: in navigating our work and home life balance in these unprecedented times, the company has recognized that people who are happy and comfortable are more productive and content in their jobs.
congrats again, good luck!!
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- August 8, 2020 at 4:44 am #372001Beatress DonaldMemberRegistered On: September 4, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 30Has thanked: 47 timesBeen thanked: 117 times
Congratulations Vanessa, this is such a wonderful thing for you and for the entire community. I am a very “religious” person and I would not be offended at all, but would welcome you with open arms trying to express God’s love. I hope and pray you are presently surprised and overwhelmingly accepted.
- August 8, 2020 at 4:10 am #371995stephanie plumbParticipantRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 88Replies: 773Has thanked: 871 timesBeen thanked: 2605 times
You will come as quite a surprise to most of them, but after a few days they will have become used to you and pay you less attention.
I can only speak for myself of course but here’s my talk on it.
Give advanced notice, either yourself or better still management that on x day you will be coming in and presenting as a female. If you do it, you can say that you have no wish to offend anyone, but also you hope that everyone will accept the new you. If management do it they can add a comment that no form of harassment to you will be tolerated.
I would go in, looking my best of course, and appropriately dressed for the workplace and your role. Smile (if you can!) and say good morning etc. and take your seat. You are half way there already! Just try to be your normal self. You don’t have to make excuses, or be apologetic, or explain yourself. If asked just say that this is the way you have always been and you are relieved that at last you can be yourself.
The shock/surprise is over, the wondering will have started. Those who are okay with it will no doubt have questions or words of support and encouragement. The nay-sayers or those uncomfortable will most likely ignore you. Some will initially be a little embarrassed to talk to you. But it will all settle down after a day or two. Whatever is said about you out of hear shot will be challenged by those who support you. Possibly a small minority will shun you. But I bet many will be VERY curious and want to find out more about you.
In no time at all you will have been accepted.
I worked in a Royal Mail Sorting Office where gay people were completely accepted in the work place. Those who were negative just kept it to themselves. Any attempt at criticism or hostility was swiftly dealt with by the workforce.
- August 8, 2020 at 12:23 am #371974Casey Amber TwitchingsParticipantRegistered On: May 15, 2020Topics: 31Replies: 299Has thanked: 281 timesBeen thanked: 1092 times
Congratulations Christine. I don’t have any suggestions for you but I do have a rebuttal for those religious folks who will be mad at what’s happening.
Everybody knows that Deuteronomy says pretty much that men shouldn’t wear women’s clothes. However, the same or the next verse also says that women shouldn’t wear men’s clothes. No pants, no jeans, no t-shirts, absolutely nothing unisex. Then it goes on to say that women shouldn’t use men’s items/tools. No hammers, no screwdrivers, no “swords” or guns, etc. Which pretty much means JoAnne Leibeler is going to burn for all eternity because she’s a carpenter.
So either we’re sinning because we crossdress, which means most women are sinning too (I don’t remember God saying specifically that it’s OK for women to wear pants) for wearing “men’s clothes” and using men’s items/tools, or those verses are no longer valid. Now there’s an entire 7 course meal for thought.
- August 7, 2020 at 7:44 pm #371932Bettylou CoxParticipantRegistered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 16Replies: 1428Has thanked: 2313 timesBeen thanked: 4246 times
Good for you, Christine!
As for things you might say, consider these:
Contrary to the old saying, Clothes do not make the man (or woman); it’s what beneath the clothes which matters.
This thing we do is neither illegal, immoral nor fattening.
And for the “religious” objectors: I’m one of “them”, myself, and we are many. And we find nothing immoral about covering our bodies, however we choose to do it. Best of luck to you.
- August 7, 2020 at 6:16 pm #371904Jenny JonesParticipantRegistered On: November 5, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 105Has thanked: 97 timesBeen thanked: 363 times
Wow! That is awesome! Such a great place! I hope they actually do it all right! But seriously you break that barrier and show your work what’s what! Everything you said in your post is so true, I am happy you are able to make this step!
- August 7, 2020 at 12:04 pm #371785Laura LovettParticipantRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 7Replies: 371Has thanked: 996 timesBeen thanked: 1662 times
I would try to engage religious people. If anyone points you to Deuteronomy, you’re on a winner. Any other passages would be fascinating!
Best thing is to just own it.
Be your femme self 100%, and really enjoy the experience – expect lots of curiosity and you won’t be disappointed, and thank people for questions, even if they’re impertinent!
There are many people who secretly love and admire cross dressers, and you’ll find them.
I think the main thing is to carry on as normally as possible, like cross dressing is perfectly normal, and take delight in the attention.
You’re an ambassador for us all – don’t f*** it up (quote from Drag Race, meant humourously)!
- August 7, 2020 at 11:55 am #371784Mary PriscillaParticipantRegistered On: May 23, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 40Has thanked: 44 timesBeen thanked: 143 times
Having spent almost my entire career writing reports with messaging that many readers would not embrace, it is critically important to “know your audience” and structure your words accordingly. Pay close attention to the demographic and management structure of your company. Human relations should be able to assist.
Next, be honest about who you are, your commitment to the company and desire to doing whatever to making it, I assume, a continuing success. Sharing personal details about who you are in terms of social and humanity (i.e., working with a not-for-profit, etc.) commitments will Then, show respect for all the employees in general and those that may have personal, ethnic or religious concerns specifically. Be humble but not apologetic.
Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions.
- August 7, 2020 at 10:41 am #371768AnonymousInactiveRegistered On:Topics: 14Replies: 205Has thanked: 346 timesBeen thanked: 589 times
- August 7, 2020 at 10:39 am #371767Laura Jane MooreParticipantRegistered On: July 10, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 70Has thanked: 487 timesBeen thanked: 281 times
Christine… so happy for you…. you are a brave girl. Wishing you many happy years living and working as Christine.
Sounds like you may have this covered….but my only suggestion to add is to judge you by your work and not how outrageously beautiful you are… lol… I kid… but they should judge your soul and not your outward appearance. Not all will accept you but that is OK. Most importantly you accept yourself..
- August 7, 2020 at 10:38 am #371766Evany EvansParticipantRegistered On: August 6, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 8Has thanked: 65 timesBeen thanked: 19 times
Hi Vanessa! This is truly a dream come true! I’m so happy that you have the opportunity to do this! I would highly recommend highlighting how staff should receive the same undiscriminated treatment as customers are given. This would include the creation and maintaining of a positive environment where everyone is treated equally and everyone maintains an approachable, kind-hearted attitude. In order to allow the potential backlash to be identified and reduced, a possible method could be the use of an anonymous forum where employees can post their feedback regarding these changes, allowing various possible issues to be detected. This would allow these issues to be addressed carefully to allow everyone to maintain a positive attitude toward their workplace. This would also prevent anyone from lashing out in person and causing potential emotional harm to others or breaking co-worker relationships.
I hope all goes wonderful for you in the end through this dream come true. You go girl!
- August 7, 2020 at 10:10 am #371759
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