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How should I phrase this question? I’ve I’ve been dressing for most of my life. I’ve yet to step out the door. Have I sold myself short for not taking that next step? How do I leave behind my present life and embrace what I’ve decided should be the rest of it? And would it be worth it? Getting from here to there seems an ocean to cross.
Hi Katie,
Firstly, a disclaimer. I’m very new to this and am by no means an expert nor do I profess to be a fountain of knowledge.
I am also a very closeted dresser and although I would like that to change eventually, I really feel it’s more about what makes you happy than about getting on the other side of that door.
At the moment, I take great pleasure in putting on my girly clothes and being a girl all inside my home. I am in no rush to get out.
I am taking the same approach to being ‘passable/acceptable’. Sure, when I do get out there I’d like to be able to walk down the street with abuse being hurled at me and I will, of course, take steps to feminise myself.
All that being said, I still remember the #1 rule – do whatever makes me happy. It’s not about pleasing Joe Bloggs who’s walking down the street or Jane Doe who’s out with her GG friends making judgement.
I don’t think you’ve sold yourself short but only you can answer that by asking if you’re happy dressing in the comfort of your own home.
As for embracing the next steps…Well there will be far more knowledgeable and helpful ladies along soon but I think taking it slowly at a pace you’re happy and safe with is vital.
Love Rachel
Hi Katie, that’s a good question that I’m sure many of us have asked ourselves at one time. Have you sold yourself short? I can’t answer that for you, but myself, I am in my 50’s and I waited far too long…. yes I feel I sold my life short of what it could have been. Very much. Probably my biggest source of depression and regret since joining here and coming out is the fact I put it off for so many years. Your life is your life, you need not leave your life behind, just start living it the way you want to. Some may not accept it, so their lives can be left behind, but not yours. As to whether it is worth it, that only you can answer, but, if this is truly who and what you are, the answer has to be yes! It has to be, for your own happiness. Yeah, it’s a big ocean to cross, but if Columbus can do it, we can do it.😊
Stevie ❤
hi Katie Unfortunately, those questions can only be answered by you. Leaving behind what we have created is the most difficult one for me. Will it be worth it? I guess you will have that answer when you have decided to live and express how you feel full time. Some say that the sense of relief they feel when their body and brain are on the same page is well worth the risk. There is much to risk that is for sure and it is scary to say the least. I do not believe that decision has to be made all in one day or even a year. Start slowly and see how it feels.I believe it is so important to take the time and allow your self a little space to learn what feels right for you now. I understand now, that the time for me to make things right was back in my teen years. I did what so many here have done deny, hide and hope it would just go away. Most of us put our selves on the back burner only to simmer while we did what society expected of us. We married, created a family, bought homes, invested time in our careers and became a part of society. We decided that being whole was something we would get to when we had the time. The needs of others came first. There comes a time in everyone’s life where we have to decide to care for our own peace of mind. To some it may be considered selfish but I believe it is so important. We have to figure out if this is just something we enjoy some times and in private or its something we desire full time all the time. I believe it is very fluid as years and responsibilities change but one thing is constant we desire to express our inner identity opposite to our given birth identity. We all have that in common. Stay the course Katie the right time and place will come to you.
Luv Stephanie
Hello Katie…
Get dressed, look the best girl you can be…and just do it…even a walk around the block…or down to the corner and back.
You don’t have to cross the entire ocean on your first trip….just get a small taste….then you will know one way or the other.
I have been out and about for years now, and I have never lost the ” buzz” it gives me…..just being ” that” girl….
You can read a million good replies on here…and believe me, every single one will be heartfelt and with only the best intentions…..but….
It’s you who has to do this, nobody else…..
because Katie Time…..it could just be Time for Katie.
Best wishes, grace ❤️❤️
I am not a open crossdresser. I try to sneak out of the house and neighborhood. But I do so fully dressed with every hair in place. But I myself would never take away the pleasure I feel fully feminized buying a new bra or pretty dress at my favorite store. I was so nervous the first half dozen times I would shake in my boots. Now I walk around with a lot of confidence and feel and think like a woman when I’m out. It is still a question only you can answer for yourself. In my case once I walked out the door for the first time there was no going back. You have to decide what is best for yourself. But I think you already know. Good luck sweetie..
Katie, I hid my whole life up until recently 🦋 I just couldn’t stand being in the shadows anymore.🌹 I have started to come out.. to various friends and family and going out in public as Effie 🎀🎀🍭 it’s worth it to me.. most have been supportive, I should have done this much sooner!!
But you have to do what’s in your heart ❤️ At your own pace and in your own way but we are here for you!!
👗🌻🧚♀️💝
You’re the only one who can answer your questions, really. I believe though, that you don’t need to cross an ocean if you don’t want to, but who’s to say you can’t go to the beach, and just get your toes wet? Lots of purple here will tell you, or would tell you, that they wish they’d done it earlier. I wish I’d known about myself sooner, but I’ve got right now and I’ve got whatever remains. I’m good with it. I didn’t sell myself short, at least in my mind. I’m good with me. I’ve never been better with me. At least most of the time.
Nobody can tell you what’s on the other side of the sea for you, only you can find out by going to see it yourself. But it’s up to you to decide when, and if, you’re going to go there.
Bridgette
💕💕💕💋 There is so much love here, thanks everyone for such great posts. A little nudge can can go a long way. Guess it’s time to dip my toes in that ocean. 💕💋 Katie
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