- May 10, 2021 at 4:20 pm #490549Paula1ParticipantRegistered On: October 22, 2015Topics: 9Replies: 581Has thanked: 691 timesBeen thanked: 1410 times
Hi Ladies, last night I come home after work, I have had the pink fog taking over for the past six to seven weeks wear I can not control how iI have been feeling, the dysphoria has been unbearable, with my wife and daughter being at home all the time I can not dress, so I have been under dressing with bra very small forms body suit under my drab clothes, Well last night I forgot to take out the forms when I arrived home, My wife standing straight in front of me, pushers her hand on my chest and freaks out, The first words that come out of her is WHAT ARE YOU DOING , then she said this is a deal breaker I can’t do this anymore, I know I have overstepped the boundaries, and just don’t know how to explain to my wife why I need to dress under my drab clothes. If it was only that simple. So this day of may I am feeling very Blue
Thanks Ladies for listening
Total of 40 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- May 13, 2021 at 4:09 pm #491808Paula1LadyRegistered On: October 22, 2015Topics: 9Replies: 581Has thanked: 691 timesBeen thanked: 1410 times
Thank you for all the support, This has settled down a bit with my wife, she has not said anything to me in the past few days, I also have been walking on eggshells to make sure that I don’t upset her any more. She has asked about see someone to talk to, the only thing about this is she is happy to bring it up but won’t follow through. any way just having a blue friday rant
- May 12, 2021 at 9:41 am #491284Laura LovettLadyRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 16Replies: 1187Has thanked: 3828 timesBeen thanked: 5721 times
I hate that phrase, simply because I find it really confusing.
I asked my wife why it was a “Deal breaker”, and which deal had been broken, as I did not remember signing up to such a deal.
She couldn’t answer.
As far as I am concerned, the deal is “For Better or worse”, etc.
I think it’s an angry reaction, with a hint of attempted control, mostly over a situation that feels out of control – or, at least out of her current comfort zone – and nothing more.
My wife is a self confessed control freak – but I am no mere trophy husband – I have so much more to offer than a “man”, so the conversion attempts continue, as gently but irrepressibly as possible.
Sorry, but there are certain phrases that get to me that I hear all the time from wives, and that is one of them. I’m annoyed at the phrase, not your wife – she’s just dealing with it with the tools at her disposal – look after her, and good luck, honey!
- May 13, 2021 at 6:21 pm #491854Bettylou CoxDuchessRegistered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 21Replies: 2217Has thanked: 4563 timesBeen thanked: 8151 times
I’m with you, Laura. If you read the vows, the “deal” we all signed up for was: one man, one wife, one lifetime. Yes, I know doesn’t work out that way at least 50% of the time, but it WAS the promise. And a wardrobe choice is a silly reason to end a marriage.
- May 12, 2021 at 7:51 am #491254LeahBaronessRegistered On: June 13, 2018Topics: 3Replies: 246Has thanked: 3346 timesBeen thanked: 870 times
I feel your pain and distress. I don’t know if your wife knew from the beginning or what but, this is something that is in us and will not go away. Life is too short for any person to not experience and try what they feel they need to do. In our situation, our need to dress will evolve over time. It is sad that so many ladies will not have an open mind to it or respect our need/desire to dress up.
At the end of the day, you need to do what is best for you. You desire to dress will never go away, and you will never be able to stop dressing or desiring to dress. If that means you need to be without her..so be it. At lest then you can do as you want/desire without her judging you and making you feel guilty or shameful.
Shame on her for doing that to you, regardless of any agreement. The agreement should haev been more like you can have options to dress as you need, she just will not be a part of it. Women that take this stance in my opinion are selfish and do not care much for their partner’s happiness!!
- May 12, 2021 at 7:50 am #491253Effie JayneDuchessRegistered On: February 7, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 833Has thanked: 1631 timesBeen thanked: 2814 times
- May 12, 2021 at 7:18 am #491244Bridgette VonSmirffLadyRegistered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 32Replies: 1040Has thanked: 14557 timesBeen thanked: 3904 times
- May 12, 2021 at 3:33 am #491146Kimberly BeeLadyRegistered On: August 11, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 44Has thanked: 594 timesBeen thanked: 163 times
Hi Paula, my heart goes out to you & anyone else in this situation. I have the same problem with my wife. She knows about kimberley & CDH, but she’s 100% against it. We do chat quite often about my dressing. I too under dress while at work, my need to dress is getting stronger, like an itch that won’t go away. I can’t see my situation changing any time soon & it is putting pressure on our marriage.
I do hope everything works out for you Paula & keep positive.
- May 11, 2021 at 9:02 am #490809Stephanie KennedyPrincessRegistered On: March 15, 2019Topics: 13Replies: 863Has thanked: 5594 timesBeen thanked: 3456 times
Hi Paula Sorry for the both of you. I would take it seriously. Give her time to figure out what she meant when she said ‘This is a deal breaker”It sounds like she had a deal or agreement with you and you broke the agreement. You said it your self you knew you crossed the boundary. Boundaries are set up for a reason. In our case its to preserve a marriage.There is not many woman out there that would put up or even deal with a man that wants to present himself as a female. If they do it is out of love. My wife found it cute and funny after many months of her being miserable trying to make sense of it all. She had many boundaries. One of them was breast forms. She just did not want to see her man with female looking breast. I think that is not unreasonable. I would not like to see her without breast. They certainly are a turn on for me. It was only when she seen me getting dressed getting ready for a CD meeting she said something does not look right with that outfit and she stuffed my empty bra with pantyhose and said there .I said your right and did not say anything else. If she only knew how excited I was but I said nothing . It was her idea. My wife did not want me to look bad when I was going out to the club. She feared so many bad things would happen to me if I were seen by the wrong people. Every woman is different. My experience has been if our SOs feel confidant that nothing is going to change in the relationship. She feels confidant there is no one or anything else interfering in the relationship including our cross dressing. She feels totally loved by you. Then she will get more involved if nothing else she does not her man to look stupid or get hurt. Woman take pride in the man they chose and will do anything to protect him. Just a thought to consider.
- May 11, 2021 at 7:27 am #490771Michelle TrottDuchessRegistered On: April 7, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 206Has thanked: 374 timesBeen thanked: 877 times
I am sorry Paula. I think a lot of us have felt the kind of pain you are suffering. I hope you can work thru this with your wife. Keep your chin up. It is so hard to try to explain our desires to others. They can’t understand something they can’t relate to. Good Luck Honey.
- May 11, 2021 at 7:09 am #490764Jamie KaneBaronessRegistered On: November 9, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 59Has thanked: 207 timesBeen thanked: 209 times
I’m so sorry Paula. I hope you and your wife come to terms. The why’s, hows, and because of our dressing are difficult enough for us to grasp. It’s so much harder without support and or acceptance from a loved one. Somebody said “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” Well, we’re here and we support you. Hang in there.
- May 11, 2021 at 6:23 am #490745Tina QLadyRegistered On: April 14, 2021Topics: 14Replies: 78Has thanked: 353 timesBeen thanked: 436 times
Sometimes these ‘oops’ moments are a blessing in disguise. It may not feel like it right now but it is a means to open the discussion. I hope everything goes well. I hope the awkward inbetween time is short.
- May 11, 2021 at 5:13 am #490721JillianWLadyRegistered On: October 13, 2019Topics: 6Replies: 143Has thanked: 285 timesBeen thanked: 550 times
I can only echo what the other girls are saying, they are all great ideas.
How’s it going today? Any better? I hope so!
All the girls at CDH are here for you, love you and support you. Reach out when you need us.
- May 11, 2021 at 12:57 am #490665Samantha JoLadyRegistered On: April 3, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 56Has thanked: 167 timesBeen thanked: 282 times
I am really sorry to hear the situation you find yourself in and I hope that you and your wife can keep taking and find a solution where you are both happy and you can be the person you want to be.
- May 11, 2021 at 12:24 am #490661Grace ScarlettBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 85Replies: 1822Has thanked: 6507 timesBeen thanked: 10202 times
Firstly, I’m sorry for your dilemma, it sounds like you are at breaking point.
Obviously a time for talking, as others have said…… but this type of call for help comes up so often on cdh that one thing always goes through my mind….
Have you ever thought about introducing your wife to CDH.???.
yes, I know that maybe it sounds silly, but if she could see some of the articles and posts on here, it may help her to see more clearly exactly what you are going through……and also that she is by no means….alone.
Just my thoughts…..grace xx
- May 11, 2021 at 6:46 am #490754Katie TimeDuchessRegistered On: April 3, 2021Topics: 24Replies: 179Has thanked: 1216 timesBeen thanked: 981 times
Grace thank you I said that very thing to my wife last week. But I think she’s afraid of opening that door for whatever reason. I feel her pain, I think she thinks its just going to go away, that I’ll get tired of it. NOT. 💕💋 Katie
- May 10, 2021 at 11:29 pm #490658GenevïéveLadyRegistered On: July 28, 2020Topics: 30Replies: 1343Has thanked: 11453 timesBeen thanked: 5540 times
- May 10, 2021 at 10:13 pm #490650LeaLadyRegistered On: March 23, 2016Topics: 66Replies: 217Has thanked: 227 timesBeen thanked: 842 times
This post has many angles. Underdressing is such a persomal thing. Do we need our wife’s permission on our underwear choice, I hope not. It’s not meant to be seen.
Pushing your chest, how did that even start. I would never push my wife’s chest, those are intimate parts.
Sorry, cheer up!
- May 10, 2021 at 7:23 pm #490605Polly StewartLadyRegistered On: January 2, 2021Topics: 13Replies: 957Has thanked: 1361 timesBeen thanked: 3309 times
So sorry for you! Keep chin up sweetheart… if this wasn’t meant to be then it wasn’t. Just be patient and talk, talk and talk some more. Maybe your daughter is more comfortable with the situation?
Bless you, Polly 💕🌹🌷
- May 10, 2021 at 7:19 pm #490604Stephanie RobertsPrincessRegistered On: May 20, 2020Topics: 8Replies: 643Has thanked: 5505 timesBeen thanked: 2347 times
- May 10, 2021 at 6:32 pm #490589
- May 10, 2021 at 6:00 pm #490575DonnaLadyRegistered On: January 17, 2021Topics: 81Replies: 1071Has thanked: 7265 timesBeen thanked: 3943 times
- May 10, 2021 at 5:50 pm #490572Sandy JaysonDuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 23Replies: 531Has thanked: 1082 timesBeen thanked: 2436 times
Paula, feel so sorry for you!! I agree with Katie that we don’t understand the desire or need to dress. Hope you can let the wife cool down then let her know how much you love her but how the desire/need to crossdress just gets so overwelming. IF you could get across to her that you are scared and worried to where it might leed and you could use her help in sorting this out.
. I hope this helps. We are all here to listen and help where we can.
. . Sandy
- May 10, 2021 at 4:52 pm #490562DuchessRegistered On: April 3, 2021Topics: 24Replies: 179Has thanked: 1216 timesBeen thanked: 981 times
My heart is aching for you, I was in that very situation last week, with the bra strap showing at the shoulder. Have could they understand what we ourselves can barely wrap our heads around. Every day it’s like stepping on eggshells. Not really knowing how she’s going to react on any given day. I truly hope you can work through this, they don’t know how much we need their support in this. Big hugs 💕 Katie
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