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Hi Ladies, last night I come home after work, I have had the pink fog taking over for the past six to seven weeks wear I can not control how iI have been feeling, the dysphoria has been unbearable, with my wife and daughter being at home all the time I can not dress, so I have been under dressing with bra very small forms body suit under my drab clothes, Well last night I forgot to take out the forms when I arrived home, My wife standing straight in front of me, pushers her hand on my chest and freaks out, The first words that come out of her is WHAT ARE YOU DOING , then she said this is a deal breaker I can’t do this anymore, I know I have overstepped the boundaries, and just don’t know how to explain to my wife why I need to dress under my drab clothes. If it was only that simple. So this day of may I am feeling very Blue
Thanks Ladies for listening
Paula XX
My heart is aching for you, I was in that very situation last week, with the bra strap showing at the shoulder. Have could they understand what we ourselves can barely wrap our heads around. Every day it’s like stepping on eggshells. Not really knowing how she’s going to react on any given day. I truly hope you can work through this, they don’t know how much we need their support in this. Big hugs 💕 Katie
Paula, feel so sorry for you!! I agree with Katie that we don’t understand the desire or need to dress. Hope you can let the wife cool down then let her know how much you love her but how the desire/need to crossdress just gets so overwelming. IF you could get across to her that you are scared and worried to where it might leed and you could use her help in sorting this out.
. I hope this helps. We are all here to listen and help where we can.
. . SandySo sorry Paula Do hope you and wife keep communication going the key to success. Possible little yen and yang.
Big hugs
Donna
Oh maybe let her look at the different posts on CDH.
Hi Paula.
Firstly, I’m sorry for your dilemma, it sounds like you are at breaking point.
Obviously a time for talking, as others have said…… but this type of call for help comes up so often on cdh that one thing always goes through my mind….
Have you ever thought about introducing your wife to CDH.???.
yes, I know that maybe it sounds silly, but if she could see some of the articles and posts on here, it may help her to see more clearly exactly what you are going through……and also that she is by no means….alone.
Just my thoughts…..grace xx
Grace thank you I said that very thing to my wife last week. But I think she’s afraid of opening that door for whatever reason. I feel her pain, I think she thinks its just going to go away, that I’ll get tired of it. NOT. 💕💋 Katie
Hi Paula,
I can only echo what the other girls are saying, they are all great ideas.
How’s it going today? Any better? I hope so!
All the girls at CDH are here for you, love you and support you. Reach out when you need us.Hugs
Jillian-
Sometimes these ‘oops’ moments are a blessing in disguise. It may not feel like it right now but it is a means to open the discussion. I hope everything goes well. I hope the awkward inbetween time is short.
I’m so sorry Paula. I hope you and your wife come to terms. The why’s, hows, and because of our dressing are difficult enough for us to grasp. It’s so much harder without support and or acceptance from a loved one. Somebody said “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” Well, we’re here and we support you. Hang in there.
Hi Paula Sorry for the both of you. I would take it seriously. Give her time to figure out what she meant when she said ‘This is a deal breaker”It sounds like she had a deal or agreement with you and you broke the agreement. You said it your self you knew you crossed the boundary. Boundaries are set up for a reason. In our case its to preserve a marriage.There is not many woman out there that would put up or even deal with a man that wants to present himself as a female. If they do it is out of love. My wife found it cute and funny after many months of her being miserable trying to make sense of it all. She had many boundaries. One of them was breast forms. She just did not want to see her man with female looking breast. I think that is not unreasonable. I would not like to see her without breast. They certainly are a turn on for me. It was only when she seen me getting dressed getting ready for a CD meeting she said something does not look right with that outfit and she stuffed my empty bra with pantyhose and said there .I said your right and did not say anything else. If she only knew how excited I was but I said nothing . It was her idea. My wife did not want me to look bad when I was going out to the club. She feared so many bad things would happen to me if I were seen by the wrong people. Every woman is different. My experience has been if our SOs feel confidant that nothing is going to change in the relationship. She feels confidant there is no one or anything else interfering in the relationship including our cross dressing. She feels totally loved by you. Then she will get more involved if nothing else she does not her man to look stupid or get hurt. Woman take pride in the man they chose and will do anything to protect him. Just a thought to consider.
Luv Stephanie
Hi Paula, my heart goes out to you & anyone else in this situation. I have the same problem with my wife. She knows about kimberley & CDH, but she’s 100% against it. We do chat quite often about my dressing. I too under dress while at work, my need to dress is getting stronger, like an itch that won’t go away. I can’t see my situation changing any time soon & it is putting pressure on our marriage.
I do hope everything works out for you Paula & keep positive.
Take care
🌸 I pray you and your spouse can work through this together 🦋
Paula,
I feel your pain and distress. I don’t know if your wife knew from the beginning or what but, this is something that is in us and will not go away. Life is too short for any person to not experience and try what they feel they need to do. In our situation, our need to dress will evolve over time. It is sad that so many ladies will not have an open mind to it or respect our need/desire to dress up.
At the end of the day, you need to do what is best for you. You desire to dress will never go away, and you will never be able to stop dressing or desiring to dress. If that means you need to be without her..so be it. At lest then you can do as you want/desire without her judging you and making you feel guilty or shameful.
Shame on her for doing that to you, regardless of any agreement. The agreement should haev been more like you can have options to dress as you need, she just will not be a part of it. Women that take this stance in my opinion are selfish and do not care much for their partner’s happiness!!
“Deal breaker”?
What deal?
I hate that phrase, simply because I find it really confusing.
I asked my wife why it was a “Deal breaker”, and which deal had been broken, as I did not remember signing up to such a deal.
She couldn’t answer.
As far as I am concerned, the deal is “For Better or worse”, etc.
I think it’s an angry reaction, with a hint of attempted control, mostly over a situation that feels out of control – or, at least out of her current comfort zone – and nothing more.
My wife is a self confessed control freak – but I am no mere trophy husband – I have so much more to offer than a “man”, so the conversion attempts continue, as gently but irrepressibly as possible.
Sorry, but there are certain phrases that get to me that I hear all the time from wives, and that is one of them. I’m annoyed at the phrase, not your wife – she’s just dealing with it with the tools at her disposal – look after her, and good luck, honey!
Love Laura
I’m with you, Laura. If you read the vows, the “deal” we all signed up for was: one man, one wife, one lifetime. Yes, I know doesn’t work out that way at least 50% of the time, but it WAS the promise. And a wardrobe choice is a silly reason to end a marriage.
Hi Ladies
Thank you for all the support, This has settled down a bit with my wife, she has not said anything to me in the past few days, I also have been walking on eggshells to make sure that I don’t upset her any more. She has asked about see someone to talk to, the only thing about this is she is happy to bring it up but won’t follow through. any way just having a blue friday rant
Hugs Paula
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