Viewing 3 reply threads
New Forums
  • Author
    Posts
    • #45896
      Jenny
      Lady

      So i was wondering how things are with other ladies here and how they feel when they interact with their love ones.

      So i had a idea or thought of fantasy while back that it would be great if I could get dressed up and have my wife take pictures of me maybe even help me with makeup. Well she said she would take the pic but i was on my own for doing make up. For starters she does not wear any so ok i get that i guss. So u got all dressed and pulled out two outfits and we got started. But it was aperebt she was just not in to it and it showed. I got upset not at her at myself, for thinking it would go any other way then it did. Fantasies meant sometimes to be in our heads only I guess.

      So my ? Is ladies has this happened to you? A evening planned and then failed horridly. I then found myself thinking and feeling bad and ugly.

    • #45899
      Rose
      Lady

      *HUG*

      Not necessarily related to dressing, but I’ve certainly made plans only to have them explode in my face, sort of like you describe. Making a special dinner that flops; expecting some, er…  romance… because of something that was said earlier in the day, only to get to bed to find her asleep in flannel pajamas. And so on.

      Now, that said, I know exactly what you mean about my SO not being able to help with makeup. That is spot on for me – I’m on my own, too, and struggling. But overall, my wife and kids have all been terrific and open and accepting of when I want to be Rose, either “all the way” with wig and jewelry and makeup and so on, or just a little bit such as wearing a pair of comfy flats or sliding in my breast forms under otherwise male clothing. I know I’m quite lucky in that regard.

      I don’t want to play armchair psychiatrist, honey. But I suspect your problem wasn’t the fantasy, or even suggesting it to your SO. My hunch is in your fantasy, you pictured your SO being giggly or getting into the role and suggesting certain poses. But she viewed it as just a practical request.  “Hey, Honey? Can you take some pictures for me?” That is, maybe she didn’t even know she was supposed to be “into it” and thought she was just taking a few pictures.

      Talk to her about it. Don’t point fingers, of course. There’s no need to play the blame game for this. But it’s a great opportunity for the two of you to communicate about things, and maybe grow a little closer.

      *HUG* Hang in there, Jenny!

    • #47741
      Anonymous

      Jenny we all crossdress for a variety of reasons. For some, such as me, it’s just an emotional comfort thing. I crossdress because it makes me feel happy and relaxed. Others crossdress as part of a fantasy or for sexual stimulation. The ‘why’ will often then impact on how a wife or other SO responds.

      Many CDs make the mistake of expecting their SO to be “into it”, meaning that they want their SO to be part of their crossdressing. The thing is, if a wife has never helped her husband dress in his male clothes why should she be interested in how he puts on a dress, or his underwear or whatever? Some might offer advice, some might even help with those finicky little tasks like zipping up a dress or fastening a necklace but why should they be required to do anything more?

      Communication, as Rose says, is the secret. Talk about her feelings, find out what she is and isn’t interested in being involved in and don’t assume that because you are out to her that she will automatically now feel comfortable. For many that’s not the case and they need us to understand their difficulties as much as we want them to understand our needs.

      Give and take; a pretty basic relationship thing, really.

    • #49840

      Hi Jenny!

      Both Rose and Jane summed it up perfectly in their replies… the key is communication.  All to often in relationships we build up an expectation of our loved ones, thinking that a particular situation will turn out one way – and when it falls short we either get frustrated or sad, or some combination of both.  All of this is completely normal!!  I dare say many of us have had similar experiences.

      When that happens, it’s easy to get down on ourselves because many of us have this internal doubt about ourselves from carrying this secret for so long before deciding to share it with loved ones.

      As Jane pointed out, it’s hard for others to know exactly how much it means to you to be able to express yourself as Jenny.  In many cases some of us have carried these thoughts and feelings with us for years, and we have had to wait soooooo long to be able to express ourselves as we feel.

      For our partners and loved ones, they are having to play catch up and learn all of this for the first time – so it’s only normal that they may not understand at first just how eager we are to be in the world as ourselves.  Give her some time, and she’ll understand it all better.

      Until then, *big hugs* to you!!

      <3  Lauren

Viewing 3 reply threads
  • The forum ‘Relationship Advice’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

Forgot your details?