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    • #49388
      Rose
      Lady

      Saturday evening, Rose went out in public for the first time. It was exciting, and it was a bit nerve-wracking. What if I saw somebody I know? What if somebody “outs” me and I end up making a fool of myself? What if my lead foot gets me pulled over, and I have to explain to the nice state trooper why I’m wearing a short skirt, wig, and makeup? What if a meteor strikes right at that moment, and my wife has to explain the skirt/wig/makeup thing to the rest of my family? Spoiler Alert: none of that happened.

      I started talking to Stephanie Stanek on here shortly after she joined. In my short time here, she was the first local person I’ve run into. (If you’re not friends with Steph, you should be. She’s awesome!) She’s been incredibly supportive, and finally about a month or so ago we decided to meet for dinner. At first, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to dress up completely, but quickly formulated a Mission: Impossible-like plan to pull it off. See, for me, one of the biggest impediments to going out as Rose has been the 40 or so feet between my front door and my car. Sounds crazy, but I went to some crazy (in hindsight) lengths to reduce that risk.

      I get ready like normal – shave, shower, get dressed, makeup, hair, etc. But then, I carefully took off the wig, then slipped on a pair of sweatpants over my skirt. I put my heels, purse, and wig into a bag, along with a pair of flats for driving. And then I was out the door. My first “problem” – my jacket that I wore to cover my top didn’t completely hide my breasts; but it was good enough that it would take one of my neighbors stopping me to have a conversation for them to notice. So far, so good!

      The plan was to drive from my house to the nearby mall, and park out of the way. There, I’d strip off my sneakers and sweatpants, put on my wig, straighten everything out, and be off and on my way. That all went smooth, except…  while putting on my wig, I knocked off one of my magnetic earrings. It’s still somewhere under the driver’s seat in my car. I’ll fish it out at some point, if I can. Doing my nails took longer than I expected before leaving, so despite planning on driving the speed limit to get to the restaurant, I found myself having to rely on my lead foot to get there on time. Fortunately for me, my lead foot generally keeps me around the pace of traffic on the PA Turnpike. Didn’t make me less nervous, though.

      I arrived in the parking lot just a bit before the scheduled time. Switched from my flats to my heels, grabbed my purse (a first for me!), and I was out the door. I quickly remembered I was wearing a skirt, and that I should probably be “lady” like as I slide out of the car, lest the people in the car next to me get a view they probably didn’t want. Into the mall, and… Oh god! That guy is holding the door for me! Is he checking me out? Ack! I smiled and quietly said thank you, in the hopes that my voice didn’t startle him too much. Then made my way through the department store and into the mall to try and find the restaurant.

      I knew it was going to be right outside that particular department store, so it didn’t take long. And…  Oh, no! No sign of Steph. Ack! I looked around a a bit, then reached into my purse to pull out my phone (which was encased in  a new pink case!) to login and check for messages. Just as I got it out and turned on, there’s Steph! Yay!

      We had almost an hour wait for our table, so we headed for the bar. I wasn’t planning on drinking, but honestly at this point a beer sounded really good. The bartender didn’t bat an eye. Neither, did it seem, did anybody around us. Our wait was shorter than expected; next dilemma – my new, pink iPhone case doubled as my wallet; it has slots in the cover for holding cards. But…  I couldn’t get my damn credit card out with my fake nails on! Ugh! Eventually I pried it loose, and then decided I should just put the card back into my purse loose, so I wouldn’t have to have that fight again.

      Steph knows our server, so there were introductions and all that. All the time, nobody is batting an eye at the juxtaposition of the way I was dressed and my voice. Could I be…  overreacting? Me? Nah, never! From start to finish, we spent 4 hours at the table, eating delicious food and talking. A few people walking past gave us a funny double-take look, but for the most part nobody cared. The only problem? By the time we left, the mall was closed, and with where I parked I had to walk around the whole outside to get around to the lot where my car was. And the temp had dropped quite a bit since the sun went down.

      It was incredibly fun, even if it was a bit nerve wracking for me leading up to it. I actually would’ve liked some time to walk around the mall. Maybe next time. Steph is clearly an extrovert, so it worked out well in that regard.

      Steph has posted a picture that’s up, and I’m waiting for mine to get approved. I’ll edit a link into here once it’s approved, and make a reply as well so everybody can see it. It’s basically the same thing. I’m the one on the left in the blue skirt.

      I have to run to a meeting, so I need to cut the post short. (Which many of you are probably thankful for, since I’m very good rambling on! 🙂 ) In short, I fretted over a lot of things – makeup, being seen, etc. – for nothing. It was so much fun! Not sure when the opportunity will present itself again, but I’ll certainly be less averse to it next time! Thanks, Steph!

    • #49396

      Congratulations !!!

    • #49402
      Leonara
      Ambassador

      Rose … you made it sound so easy and inviting…it is best to go out with a friend and Steph seems to be so supportive …. thanks for sharing. I hope I can share soon “where I have never gone before” with you
      Leonara

    • #49404
      Rose
      Lady

      The only “easy” part was that my wife is so accepting and helpful. I would’ve been an even bigger mess without her help.

      I was so worried about the neighbors. Some day I’ll probably look back at what I went through to avoid any chance of them seeing me and laugh at it. But without it, there was no chance I was getting out of the house this time. (And, while doing my quick change in the mall parking lot, I was so nervous about security or a police car pulling up and asking what I was doing. My mind is really good at inventing “worst case scenarios” out of nothing.)

      • #49430
        skippy1965 Cynthia
        Ambassador

        I’ve become quite adept at changing into full Cyn mode whilst sitting in my car in the remote darker parts of parking lots/decks. I often change after my pool league so Cyn can enjoy the drive home! Makes one more flexible than you might think you can be! 🙂 Great story -thanks for sharing it! You will isprire somene else to take that first giant leap out th front door!
        Cyn

    • #49414
      Anonymous

      Wow Rose, I admire you so much for taking this step. Things always seem easier looking back. I can totally relate to your worries. So great to hear you had a fun night out! Inspirational!

      Love, Liv

    • #49429
      Anonymous

      Rose,

      You did it! I’m so happy for you, and inspired too!  Your description of the outing and the humor you added was great. Thanks!😊

      Kim

    • #49440

      Yay!  I’m so proud of you my friend.  All those worst case scenarios we imagine that never really quite materialize can make us crazy if we let them.  It certainly seems like your first public adventure was a smashing success.  The first time is always the hardest.  Now you know you can do it so it gets easier.  I’m so glad you had a good time and everything went wonderfully!

    • #49441
      Jennifer
      Lady

      I’m so happy for you, Rose! Your comments about the fear of neighbors make me grateful for an attached garage! I’m safely in my car by the time the door opens, so there’s less risk of being seen and no chance I’ll have a conversation with someone.

      btw … you look great in the pic that Steph posted.

      Jen

    • #49445

      Rose,

      It was a pleasure being your date and companion for the evening. I truly enjoyed our time and conversation together and you looked and carried yourself so well☺

      I enjoyed your blow by blow description of the evening and hopefully, we can get more members together en femme. It is difficult to take that big step and you succeeded effortlessly and we’ll definitely make another date together!

       

      Steph

    • #49466
      Rose
      Lady

      My picture is up now. Pretty much the same as Steph’s, but zoomed in a bit more. And not sideways. 🙂

    • #49578

      Hi Rose,

      Congratulations on your first time out. You are right there is a lot of stress involved in that first time.

      My concern was getting from my room to the parking lot of the hotel and then walking down the street the few blocks to the bar I wanted to go to and  safely  walking back to my hotel again. like you I Was inventing worse case scenarios But it all worked out well. The first time a same sex couple walked me back to the entrance to my hotel ,and the second time I met anther cd at the bar and she drove me back in her vehicle and dropped me off. I am heading out again next week but I want to do it with out having a few drinks first for courage don’t want that to become the norm. But wow being out is awesome. once you get out once you really want to go out more for me it is about every four months usually I go out of town. but those nerves always follow I just try not to let them stop me but yes you are right our Imaginations can really go wild when we are preparing to go out. Like you I should probably try and find some one in my area to go out with.

      Love,

      Amanda Patrick

    • #49832

      So happy for ya Rose!!  The first trip out is definitely a nerve packed adventure for many of us.  Love your wonderfully written story, and I am so glad you were able to find a way to get out and about with Stephanie.  I am sure the two of you had a wonderful dinner together, and you both look fantastic!

      <3  Lauren

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