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  • #579705
    Carmen Cruz
    Participant
    Registered On: September 12, 2021
    Topics: 12
    Replies: 79
    Has thanked: 101 times
    Been thanked: 518 times

    First, thank you to all who responded in my last post.  I love being part of the CDH family!

    So, I’ve been trying to figure out my next steps with Carmen.  And realized, I could take a step backwards slightly and by doing so, actually incorporate Carmen into my guy life more in bits and pieces which is a step FORWARD.

    Since I’m on camera in my work life, doing professional technology training or conducting team meetings, I figured, I’m gonna change it up slightly… I put on some brows in K-Beauty style, did my hair in K-Beauty style, even added mascara to my natural lashes… totally kept it all within K-Beauty for men.

    Then went about my day in this new “style” with a little Carmen learned flair.  It actually went over smoother than I had expected.  My team and other participants on calls had fun trying to figure out what I did differently, some of them flat out were like “omg, you’re like all K-Beauty!”.  People loved it, but they all new I did something “different” but didn’t quite know what it was.  Yet, I was in full guy mode.

    I think it actually enhanced my visual energy and presence… a little Carmen here and there added to guy mode, hidden in the style of K-Beauty, and it made me feel alive, a positive step, something different for me to continue on this quest of Carmen.  And, as a bonus, I think I actually looked more handsome than my usual guy mode.

    Anyhow, it’s a simple step, but definitely a step needed to keep on keeping on.

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    • #580129
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 90
      Replies: 4522
      Has thanked: 6362 times
      Been thanked: 11073 times

      Congratulations Carmen on your step forward.

      Alice

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #580018
      Dani Grand
      Baroness
      Registered On: October 9, 2018
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 107
      Has thanked: 542 times
      Been thanked: 394 times

      It’s nice to blend the worlds…

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #580161
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 12
        Replies: 79
        Has thanked: 101 times
        Been thanked: 518 times

        “Blend the worlds”… this is something I feel VERY blessed and grateful for, much more than I even thought of before.  I’m very fortunate, as a male, that I can seemlessly transition between the two worlds without much effort, yet keep them distinctly identifiable in publi.  My experience in this last year has been eye-opening in regards to identification.  I’m gendered sir when I’m in guy mode, gendered ma’am when in girl mode, the only difference sometimes between the two are lashes and clothing.  The only 3 recent mis-gendered moments recently that I can even recall (while in guy mode actually), was 1) I ordered pizza on the phone and the person said “will that be all ma’am”.   2) I was sitting at the table (hair in a pony), and the waiter walked up behind me and said “Excuse me ma’am” while he was behind me and I was looking down at the menu.  When I turned, he apologized and said oh sorry, I only saw the beautiful hair.  LOL.  I replied “Oh gosh, no worries whatsoever, I don’t mind, I love my hair LOL”… then we had a great conversation about how he wanted to grow his hair out and had a bunch of questions.  And 3) I was driving and stopped at a stoplight… the guy next to me blurted out… “You’re gorgeous!”…. I turned, said awww, thanks man! and the light turned and we drove off like normal.  While the last one is questionable, I don’t think he would have said that if he thought I was I guy, but I could be wrong.

        As Carmen however, as long as I’m wearing my lashes and feminine clothes, I haven’t been mis-gendered once, ever.  It’s always ma’am or miss, well lots of “you’re beautiful, gorgeous, hot, fine”,  stuff like that in between.  I don’t even know I’d call it “mis-gendered” however when I’m in Carmen mode… since calling me “sir” technically would still be correct, since I AM a guy.  LOL.

    • #579951
      Liara Wolfe
      Lady
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 772
      Has thanked: 1307 times
      Been thanked: 2826 times

      Thanks for sharing Carmen. You go girl.

      Hugs, Liara

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #580015
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 12
        Replies: 79
        Has thanked: 101 times
        Been thanked: 518 times

        Thank you!  Yes, working it all out through more exploration.  I think that’s the crossroad… but that crossroad wasn’t anything I was supposed to concern myself about, that crossroad was for me to explore further! 🙂

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #579941
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 722
      Has thanked: 3467 times
      Been thanked: 3648 times

      Congrats Carmen. Looks like over time you may be on your way to an androgynous look. Keep them guessing and get your girl on at the same time… yea! Maybe include some panties next time?

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #580014
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 12
        Replies: 79
        Has thanked: 101 times
        Been thanked: 518 times

        Maybe!  Be androgynous for guy mode/family/etc… and full on Carmen every other moment (I love full on Carmen mode lol… the whole girly girl thing is definitely my thing!)

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #579755
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 634
      Has thanked: 1753 times
      Been thanked: 3062 times

      What an interesting angle. Would you now flirt with your co workers by changing the image slowly to female? keep us updated.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #579934
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 12
        Replies: 79
        Has thanked: 101 times
        Been thanked: 518 times

        Hi Angela!  To me, work has always been one of those sacred places where I just don’t mess around/flirt with coworkers.  Too many bad things can happen with that, so work flirting is off the table.

        • #579958
          Angela Booth
          Lady
          Registered On: August 1, 2020
          Topics: 4
          Replies: 634
          Has thanked: 1753 times
          Been thanked: 3062 times

          I mean flirting with them as to how you will appear and them asking themselves questions and gauging reactions……Not compromising your professional detachment to the role and workers.

          • #580012
            Carmen Cruz
            Lady
            Registered On: September 12, 2021
            Topics: 12
            Replies: 79
            Has thanked: 101 times
            Been thanked: 518 times

            True that!!! 🙂

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