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Ladies, there was a recent post from one of the other great girls on this site asking if upgrading from the free Lady position was worth it. I read all of the replies. Sure the extra perks are great and I know I would enjoy them.But the main thing is that this is such a wonderful site and supporting it is meaningful.
With that said ladies here is my dilemma. I have not told my wife about how much I love being female (again). Years ago I did tell her about my desires and she was not understanding. So right now I am afraid to bring it up to her again. As it is I am cross dressing behind her back and feel that I am lying to her indirectly. So, in my mind (and maybe I’m using too much of a male mind here) I can’t justify a monthly expenditure that she does not know about and/or may not support. It’s not that I can’t afford, I can. It’s not that I don’t want to upgrade, I really do want too. So ladies I really do need some honest to good female advise here.
Thank you for indulging me in my rant.
Hugs, Liara
Hi Liara.
Me and my SO have our own independent “fun money” bank accounts. We can purchase anything we want with no questions asked, like my Baroness CDH subscription. We have a level of trust knowing that these purchases won’t involve anything illegal or vice-driven like gambling.
But I guess I’m lucky. My SO, who works in the financial sector, was curious to see my recent credit card statement just to see what the competition is doing. I told her, “No, you can’t.” She smiled and said, “Okay.” I said, “what the hell”, and gave it to her. She said nothing about my LBD purchase along with a few pairs on nylons and high heel shoes.
So for us, anything discovered about those purchases is considered “inadmissible”. Actually, it’s a great way for her to know something about me that she’s not supposed to know about and vice versa! Makes acceptance easier. Really! We’ve been doing this for years and I told her at the beginning my desire to crossdress. She likes seeing my sweeter side and understands that crossdressing is what brings out that nicer me.
Works for us.
xo Barb
Hi
I’m in exactly the same boat as you! Is that you huddled down up there in the bow? My SO asked me to stop dressing, so I do it in what little private time I get. Sometimes I wish she’d catch me at it, sometimes I dread it happening.
Still……………..
I too considered upgrading, but when I weighed it up, it didn’t really seem worth the cost. It would be nice to be able to post private photos, but that’s about it.
Connie
xxx
Thanks for reaching out Liara,
Let me start by saying I am a lifetime cross-dresser (I’m 58) and my spouse of 30 years doesn’t know. She is a very vanilla Catholic and has all the hangups that come along with it. Opposites attract… right??? lol
Its a very difficult lie to perpetuate but I’ve learned to manage it over the years.
Most will tell you that it’s not healthy to keep secrets from your spouse. I would counter that some things are better left alone, much like a secret you will take to the grave. For me this is one of those secrets and I have many. The knowledge could be just as unhealthy but that’s a choice you will have to make.
I use to purge… I don’t any longer. Instead I ‘upgrade’ and ‘downgrade’ all the time. I do have the financial means to do so but it needs to be kept under control. Moderation is the key to many things and this is no different. It ebbs and flows just like life.
My cross-dressing was never a part of my relationship with my wife and I will never involve her in it. Its my thing and definitely not hers..02
Emily
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