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I’ve gradually become bolder in my public cross dressing over the last few months but I’ve yet to take the final step of wearing a wig in public. So far, I’ve had no problems, no-one has said anything, not even a hostile glance as I go about my shopping in town and in a supermarket. I’m interested to learn of other CDs’ experiences when being seen in full CD garb including wig. Specifically, if you continue to use male public toilets (or bathrooms as the Americans call them, although I doubt many people take baths in them) while looking pretty much entirely female, how have other users treated you? This gendered space is a contested one at the moment with, as we’re all aware, many pieces of legislation against trans people being passed in the USA. Here in the UK, we’re at least partly protected by the Equality Act 2010 and the Gender Recognition Act 2004. But I’m not confident enough to enter a public toilet while wearing my wig.
Any experiences to share?
If you present as female, use the appropriate facilities!
I’ve never had a problem – in fact, I was once directed to the female toilets by a female attendant one time I went towards the men’s without thinking while out en femme.
Love Laura
Hi Julie.
I have used ladies rooms in various establishments ( UK)….a girl goes to the ladies and nobody looks twice….the number one way to attract attention is a lady going into a mens room !!!
It’s never been a problem for me….and while men’s rooms are just a wall of urinals with a few cubicles which could be occupied….a ladies room you have rows of cubicles…. guaranteed privacy….do your thing, freshen up and leave……remember to sit down to pee….in case your ankles can be seen!!!!!!
Grace x
Girls,
Totally agree to avoid the Men’s Room en femme. Have you ever been in the Men’s Room when someone brings in his 5 year old daughter to use the toilets? Everyone collapses in embarrassment and “OMG! You can’t do that!!” I think if a mother brought her 25 year old into the ladies it would be all “My what a handsome boy!” and so on.
Having said that, while I have used the Ladies Room en femme if there is a gender neutral / family toilet I might go for that if I was unsure if the establishment would frown on CDs. While I agree in many countries we are within our rights, why upset someone else over your need to pee?
S
Hello, did a little search….
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/do-you-use-the-ladies-toilets-yes-or-no/
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/going-to-the-loo-hope-im-allowed-to-call-it-this/
Here was my answer….
“This is a very simple yes.
Would a guy use the girls bathroom, or a girl use a guys bathroom in a “normal” setting? No.
So you, presenting as a female (real or not) should 100% use the bathroom labeled for said gender.
With this being said, use your manners and be and act lady like.
Here are some helpful hints:
1. Sit to pee, would a girl face the bowl and aim for it? No, so sit your butt down!
2. Act like you’re suppose to be there, because you are!
3. Don’t peep or gawk…Creeper!
4. If you are NOT alone, comment on their outfit, shoes, purse….Small talk.
5. I always bring a tampon in my purse…it’s not for you silly! But the poor girl in need of a life saver! Be that wing-girl, she will NEVER forget you!
6. Always, do a once over in the mirror. Wig, lipstick, overall look check. Check yourself out, it’s okay! Just a no judgement reset before you go back into the wild!
Hope this helps you!
-SR-”Julie, I am happy to share my experiences with you.
I live in Canada, the province of Ontario and currently live in what you might call Farm Country, so it tends to be a bit more conservative than most. However same sex marriage was made legal here in 2005, and I think that helped with acceptance of many alt lifestyles. When I moved here a few years ago I was quite worried about this, but I have not had any issues at all.
I do go out from time to time, these days though it’s only once or twice a month, but I go to the usual kind of places, the drugstore, where two of the staffers know me, in drab and en femme, plus the local grocery stores. Also a women’s wear store, currently closed due to the pandemic, where I also shop in drab and en femme, and most of the staff there know, plus a few others.
When I’m out and about en femme, I should also add I only go out fully dressed with wig, forms, etc., and I always use the Ladies. My point is if I’m presenting as a woman, then I’ll use the Women’s, because if I were to go into the Men’s, when looking like a woman, that is too scary to consider. If I was in drab and I see a woman coming in, that would certainly get a lot of attention!
I go in, do what needs to be done, quickly wash up and get out. One time though a young woman asked for help cleaning some goo off of her hand! I suppose I looked like a Mother figure! All was well though.
That has been my experience, others might have different, of course.
Hope this helps you a bit.
Amy
If I am out en femme, I will have made a good effort. Not that I would “pass” but I may not get a second look. Therefore, I use the ladies room.
When out in drab, of course the same rules apply.When in the ladies room at a club there has never been any issues at all.
Maybe thats just Toronto?
For me its been very comfortable when out.Hi Julie If you think using the ladies”restroom” dressed in fem is a little intimidating. Try going into the men’s “restroom” fully dressed and you really have to go then you notice tall the stalls are occupied. The ladies room will seem like a welcome place to go. Most woman do not care. Just be the lady you feel you are and act accordingly and do not stand up before you are fully finished have respect the next lady to use the “facilities”
Luv Stephanie
Having recently used the female restroom at a Target while fully dressed I have become interested in the exact laws in my area. I searched last night but did not find anything definitive.
Does anyone know of a site where this information has been assembled for easy review? I’m specifically interested in the laws for the state of Georgia.
Thanks!
Darcy,
While I don’t know of any specific laws pertaining to public toilet usage, as a resident of Georgia, I would be glad to exchange my experiences with you in using various public toilet facilities. I get out cross dressed on a weekly basis. We ought to get together sometime.
Perhaps we should move the “bathroom talk” to private message?
Peggy Sue
So, I have not crossed the public restroom while dressed road myself yet, for all the same reasons you all already know. But, this is a bit off topic, but I think relevant to the issue itself…
A few years ago, I attended the Iowa Safe Schools Governors Conference, which is a big LGBTQIA+ youth conference. Wonderful conference that I can’t recommend enough. But, for this event, they had covered all of the bathroom signs in the convention center with gender neutral bathroom signs. (Keep in mind, this was before I accepted my feminine side.) Well, this initially freaked me out. But once I got over the initial shock, I quickly realized, it doesn’t really make any difference. In the stalls, no one wants to know anything about what is going on in the other stalls. You do your business and get out. In the bathroom that was usually mens, if there weren’t any women standing there in line waiting, some guys would use the urnals, but most people just used the stalls. Granted, the attendees at this conference would generally be more open minded that the average person walking down the street. But, the whole bathroom thing was absolutely no big deal at all, once you got over the traditional gendered bathroom idea. I couldn’t believe they would do this at an event with 2,000+ people, but I never heard of any issues/problems at all.
Birel
I am full-time, 6’4″, 68, and always use the Ladies’ no matter where I am. I have never had a problem, even when a Mom has had her little girl in there with me.
I have two pieces of advice. First, do not use the Ladies’ until you are absolutely sure you are blending with the public (I avoid the word “passing”, because none of us passes all the time, in all places). If you still get the sidelong looks, the second glances, the whispered giggles as you pass by a group of teenage girls, don’t use the Ladies’. If you’re going to be out for an extended period, there’s nothing wrong with wearing thick sanitary pads or some kind of incontinence garment (lots of choices these days!)
The second piece of advice requires a bit of context. Years and years ago, my local support group held a meeting at a hotel. Wives were in attendance. Like many restrooms, the stalls faced the sinks and mirrors. I was just finishing my business in one of the stalls and when I stood up, my tall head suddenly appeared above the stall, reflected in the mirror opposite. One of the wives standing at the sink let out a little shriek, the kind that happens when you sneak up on someone.
My head, suddenly popping up above the stall, was something she had never seen, in a lifetime of using public restrooms. It’s common, of course, in the Men’s, but very rare in the Ladies’, so it scared her, and fear in a less friendly situation is what leads to outcry and furor.
So…as you finish, keep you head below the level of the stall as you pull up your pantyhose, rearrange your skirt, gather your purse. Only when you are done with all that, straighten up and open the door simultaneously. Leave promptly; don’t hesitate if someone else is at the mirror. Just go.
Good luck ladies!
Hi girls, I travel a lot for my job to many different states and have always used the ladies room. I have never had any issues. I always go straight to the stall and do what I need to do. Sometimes it’s challenging undressing if I’m wearing hip pads and tucked. But when I’m done I always wash my hands, apply lipstick, some powder , and brush my hair. Quite a few times I’ve been asked where I got my top, or that’s a cute purse. I think my paying attention to detail on my appearance makes all the difference to presenting myself as a lady.
Jeannie💋
Hi Julie if your presenting as female you should use female facilities, its far less daunting than using the male facilities.
Love Sarah
xx
When out and about and even at work now use the ladies room instead of mens room and by chance their family one will use it also.
My first real excursion en femme was to the cinema
(that’s movies for the USA). By the end of the film I was in desperate need! With my heels clicking on the tiled floor I hurried towards the toilets a d wss intending to use the disabled one for safety. However, there was a woman a few yards in front of me as I crossed the foyer and she must have heard my heels and she turned and held the door of the ladies for me. Obviously I had to go in. I dived in the nearest stall and did what I needed, but as I was adjusting my clothing I heard a stampede of obvious teenage girls crash into the ladies room. Discretion is the better part of valour so i stayed in my cubicle until they left. When I emerged, having the place to myself, I checked that my dress wasnt caught in my knickers etc, washed my hands, brushed my wig, applied lippy and left.
Since then I have always used the ladies when dressed in cafes restaurants bars shops. I wouldn’t feel safe using the gents and it’s not good to tie up a disabled facility as someone might genuinely need that facility.I have used the Woman’s room en femme many times while out. My experience is act natural as if you have used it your whole life. No need to cause unnecessary attention to yourself. Most women in there are there to do their business and get out and don’t pay much mind to anyone else in my experience.
I will usually use the women’s restroom when out, the other option being a family/single available. I have NEVER gone into the men’s room, nor would I. It does not, in my mind, seem like a safe idea given that the potential for hostile reactions seem higher from men, and a restroom is a good place to find yourself trapped.
I attended a CD/Trans support group dinner recently. It was held at a sports-themed restaurant. Many of the trans ladies there were nowhere near passable. All used the ladies’ room without incident. I didn’t need to go to the rest room, but intended to follow their lead if it had been necessary. One of the party was a very nervous young transwoman on early HRT, and even she used the ladies’.
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Cinema??? What is that word…. this is the second BS jab at the USA… Toilet… latrine… the loo… bathroom… dare I say head…. what about lavatory or the john or any number of other ways to refer to the pissoir…If you are dressed as a woman, use the ladies room… if you are presenting as a man… use the mens room… if you are transgender, use whichever one you feel most comfortable with.
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