• This topic has 20 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by Anonymous.
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    • #445452

      Hello.

      With the pandemic and all it looks like many of us have had the opportunity to let our hair grow much longer than we normally would. For me it’s been since before Thanksgiving 2019 – so almost 15 months and my hair is now brushing my shoulders.

      When I do have the courage to get my hair cut I have been contemplating asking for it to be cut so that it would serve me well for when Millie appears in public and just as well as when boring me appears. Do any of you have any experience with this? I seem to recall a post of someone who did, but I cannot find it now.

      One of my challenges is that I have an enormous noggin and have no idea what kind of a haircut would look good on me. I have one wig that is a bit longer than my hair now, and wavy, and another that is more of a bob – I like that one a lot. But can I get my hair cut in a bob and have a way to style it so it still looks masculine for when I’m presenting myself as a man?

      Any advice on what to do when the time comes, or avoid, would be much appreciated.

    • #445486
      Anonymous

      Hi,

      I would recommend a bob cut, yes – as far as a double-use goes I guess you could have the sides shaved in, so that when pulled back into a ponytail it’s kind of uni-sex looking.. I would think that should work fine..?

       

      x

    • #445911
      Rayna Carlian
      Duchess

      I would suggest that you find a decent salon. And just tell the person what you’re thinking.

      There are plenty of stores like Ulta and Sephora that don’t care if you’re male/female/Fluid/whatever… They want to have your business and have you return.

      Tell them why you want it longer and tell them you have no idea what shape compliments your face. They can help with that also.

      You’re paying them, let them do what they are good at 😉

      XOXO

      • #446834

        Thanks, I think that is good advice. I’m just going to have to find a good salon and see what happens. My only current challenge is that I  live in a rural area and the closest Sephora or Ulta are almost two hour drives away. Probably worth the trip, but will need to do a little planning beforehand.

        • #447072
          Rayna Carlian
          Duchess

          2 hours IS a long way to go…but I can offer you a potential “bright side” 😉

          What are the odds of running into someone you know while getting a makeover 2 hours from home??

          Bring something simple to wear that’s gender neutral. Get your face done, and drive home all “pretty lady in the country”.

          YAY!!

          Hugs

    • #445927
      Gwyneth
      Lady

      Just my 2 cents – keep growing it. I’ve got a noggin that is probably bigger than yours. Sits on a 17″ neck. So I’m wondering about hair styles too. If mine wasn’t so thin, I would want long natural hair.

      Maybe I’ll try the Topix.

      Gwyn

      • #446833

        For the moment it will just have to keep growing. Until I’m vaccinated I’m probably not going to be comfortable visiting a salon. And, for amusement purposes only – 19″ neck on thin days and a 7 3/4 hat size. If I were a third of my age and a little more fit I’d be big enough to be an offensive tackle for an NFL team. The only thing I’ve got going is that my hair, for whatever reason, is still pretty thick. My siblings got the height, I got the hair. Now I just need to figure out what to do with it.

    • #446837

      Thanks for all the replies and advice. As a large person and one who for all kinds of reasons presents as male most of the time, this has been a little challenge for me. At least people understand that not wanting to go to the salon until I’m vaccinated is a valid excuse for my hair.

      I’m going to look for a hair style app or website or whatever and play with that. And, when the time does come, I will find a salon and a hairdresser that can deal with my request. Maybe by the end of the summer if all goes well. Or, I’ll let it grow out for another year or so until it gets long enough to donate for wigs for cancer victims and others who need wigs.

       

       

    • #446842
      Stevie Steiner
      Managing Ambassador

      Hi Millicent!  I went through this exact thing in the summer.  It was actually my first time being out in public.  After saying the hell with it I walked into a salon, showing the manager a picture of a beautiful woman and saying I wanted my hair to look like that.  I was sweating a bit before she shushed me took me by the hand and sat me down.  Amazingly I had walked into a salon of lesbians who thought it was cute.  Really lucked out!  I look for excuses just to go back to chat and feel comfy in their company, lol.  Cant wait for them to open again….

      Stevie

    • #446877

      Loved the post. A year ago, at the time had short hair but was ready for Jennifer. I went to a salon and asked for a very feminine cut (and color). Walked out with auburn highlights and a pixie cut. My hair is now longer and the same stylist says she has more plans!! Don’t hesitate – ENJOY!!!!!

      Hugs and Kisses, Jennifer

       

    • #447087

      [quote quote=446877]Walked out with auburn highlights and a pixie cut. My hair is now longer and the same stylist says she has more plans![/quote]
      God, Jennifer, that sounds fantastic! I would love to get my hair done all sassy and cute like that! ❤️

    • #448260

      Great question. I’ve been growing mine out, too for only a couple of months, but it’s mostly grey. I want to just quick style it when I want to feel feminine, even if I’m not dressed. Looking for a stylist I can confide in.

    • #448301
      Anonymous

      Well I have read all the post and many of them I can relate to myself with one exception. I haven’t cut my hair since the late Spring of 2018 when it was about maybe 16″ long and now it is over 20″long and down past my boobs.

      I am waiting for my Covid Ck and then I am calling my hairdresser she cut my hair late Spring of 2018 and did a fantastic job so I’m going back to her. I found her when I went to about 3 or 4 hairdressers and each one told me to go to this woman and I was not disappointed one bit. So I ask all you girls to inquire at all the private hairdressers also and not just the National chains. Shop local, you just might be surprised. I hope to have my hair cut in about a month and my hair should be about another 1 1/2 ” longer.

      Kathleen.

       

       

    • #458415
      Anonymous

      Yes you can! No good salon will be put off with this request. I’ve done this for years. But here are some points to consider. Seize the moment and be totally upfront about your dressing.

      1- Spend some good money on this fabulous idea at a top end salon. Get a color or highlights as well. If you don’t already have a nice cash stash then save up. You may not immediately appreciate the upscale value, but you will instantly notice (and regret) every penny you scrimp in a B or C level salon on this marvelous idea.
      2- Show up with photos, magazines, Pinterest downloads…whatever of whatever styles interest you for your versatile femme look. Go to TAAZ.com and you can try hundreds of styles and print them. Stylists are not mind readers . No good stylist will be insulted by this as it will help guide you well towards a realization of your full femme beauty. Ask them also to show you how to manage several femme looks for you new length. But they want you to come back again and again, so be brave.
      3- If you dare show up in femme makeup. If this is a problem you can wear some sunglasses on the trip to the salon. This will give stylist an idea of your femme ideas as to style..ie: pretty, sexy, glamourous….
      4- Take the bus on an Uber/Lyft. The best salons offer booze and you should lap it up girl.
      5- Breathe, breathe, breathe and bliss out as you emerge from your Covid cocoon closer to your femme reality.

      • #459392

        I know I’ve commented before, but this is all very affirming and much appreciated.

        Thank you for these good ideas. I was definitely planning on going to a top-rated salon – something tells me the $8.99 special at the local chain hairdresser/barber is not a bright idea in this situation. I hope to have the courage to call around a bit first – I know most places are very professional and this kind of thing won’t phase them, but with my luck I’ll pick a place that is shocked that a ‘man’ would come into the salon much less one who crossdresses and wants a a haircut that will serve them in male or female presentation.

        Thanks to all of you again and hope your journeys are safe and rewarding.

    • #458712
      Nicole
      Lady

      I was thinking of the exact question. My hair has gotten quite long but straggly. I was thinking I’d just go to a hair salon and asking “don’t shorten it but fix it so it looks stylish”. If they ask me male or female I will tell them female and see what it looks like. I hate to waste all the hair I’ve grown.

      💕Nicole

      • #459417
        Anonymous

        “don’t shorten it but fix it so it looks stylish”

        – that’s nice and succinct. I’ll remember that phrase when I finally get mine done.

        “If they ask me male or female I will tell them female..”

        – and that’s an even better follow up.

        Marti x

      • #494276
        Anonymous

        Nicole,

        That’s why my hair is 20+ inches long. I get so many positive coments about how beautiful my hair looks and I am in guy mode. These comments come from both men and women, young and old.

        Kathleen xxxxx 💋♥

    • #459537
      Anonymous

      I’m nearing the anniversary of my first hair styling; it was at Ulta, cost me $100, and was the best investment in Bettylou I ever made. It had been 5 months since my last haircut, and there wasn’t a lot to work with; but that “body wave” she chose turned out perfectly. It looks good in girl mode, but still passable in guy mode. And if I really need to look more “guy”, I can brush it straight back and make a ponytail.

    • #494262

      Just to wrap it up…

      Now that I’m vaccinated I took the plunge and found a good salon and a hairdresser who was more than sympathetic and understanding.

      Have a wonderful pixie cut that does the job very well. Cute and sassy – as much as it can be for someone the size and shape I am – and also capable of being very masculine. It’s wonderful, and as it grows out I’m sure it will be even more versatile.

      Very glad I did it, Thanks again to all for your help and insight.

    • #494270
      Anonymous

      I’m going to clarify this on Sunday when I start working for major grocery chain. From what the manager of orientation told me, that as long as my hair is not hanging in and covering my face I can wear it down and it’s company approved and accepted and not covering my face.

      My hair is 20″ long and if I use Bobby pins pins it will stay out of my face I prefer to wear it down because I have a bad shoulder I cannot raise my arm and shoulder enough to put it in a respectable neat ponytail.

      Kathleen xxxxx 💋♥

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