We had the talk….

[Krisy]

… And it went reasonably well. My wife accepts my need and had even offered to help choose underwear. She admits it is a struggle especially when we are out shopping and is very nervous of anybody finding out so we have made progress, softly softly.

Krisy xx

[Rose]

Congrats on a successful talk, Krisy. It’s always a bit scary. Glad yours went smooth!

[Krisy]

thank you Rose. We are on holiday this week and discussed it on the first day. Its been a lovely week having cleared the air early on

Xx

[cdheaven]

Glad things went so smoothly Krisy!  I reiterate what Rose already said, it can be incredibly stressful talking to our SO’s, but I am very glad to hear your wife is understanding and accepting.  Congrats, and I wish you two the best!

<3  Lauren

[Krisy]

Thank you Lauren,

Xx

[Anonymous]

To “softly softly” I’d add “slowly, slowly”. It’s a lot for a spouse to take in and we risk undoing what progress has been made by trying to rush things. We take a long time to finally accept who we are, often decades, so it’s unfair to expect instant acceptance and understanding from those we tell.

Let your wife know that she too can find help and support here in a group dedicated to wives and significant others. She would be most welcome and she can engage with others in her position.

Best wishes to you both.

[StephanieW]

I’m glad it went well. I wish I could do the same. Maybe someday…

[cdheaven]

At least she didn’t go through the roof. If you are cool when out shopping and don’t act like something is wrong salesladies will only care about making a sale.

Em

[Krisy]

Eeeeeeekkk, two pairs of panties for Christmas 😘😘😘

[Rose]

Yay! Congrats!

I got some new nail polish and my own emory boards in my stocking.

[Anonymous]

I vaguely remember the talk some 23 years ago and the following months.

It went okay and initially I think my SO was okay with it.   Even curious, but be careful to take it slowly as already stated.

I remember going out with her and buying underwear.   I got a matching set of bra, briefs, suspenders and blues stockings too.   A week or so later we were going to a gaming night with friends (warhammer) and she suggested I wear my new things under my loose fitting clothes.   I did and it felt great.   I felt like I knew a special secret and no one else knew it.   She asked afterwards how it was and I played it down but I loved it.   I decided I wanted more so I bought a few things secondhand (used) and some shoes.    It was still okay at this point as she hadnt seen me fully dressed, just in underwear.    I made the mistake of going to a fetish boutique and getting a “make over” which didnt go as I had hoped.   Yes I was fully done up makeup etc but it was a bit nasty (call girl hooker style) and my wife balked.   She later said she felt uncomfortable now as all she could see was her hubbie looking like a hooker.

So my advice (from someone who did it wrong) is take it slowly.   Talk honestly but keep it brief (when she asks a question answer it but dont dive into a massive conversation about your new bras etc).   Keep it above board and open and dont hide stuff away (the secret hordes of stuff might really piss her off if she finds them).

Above all, stay honest with yourself.   She may not like it but thats okay.   Just set aside time to do it or maybe find a compromise.

S

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