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I still Cannot bring Marla out completely in public: I am not quite that brave yet. However, I have tried an experiment to dip my toe in the water, so to speak. I picked a random town, Starke Florida, in the North Central part of the state. I did not go extreme, but it was bold. As a guy, I am 6 feet, fairly substantial. I do have long shoulder-length hair, that in guy mode means a ponytail
For my outing that day, the ponytail disappeared, and an hour of curling iron and hairspray later was just on the edge of girl. Real close shave, foundation, powder, blush, and subtle but obvious lip color. I used a somewhat bold false eyelash set, and the finished product was Marla peeking back at me in the mirror but muted. I wore my regular jeans, Pocket t-shirt. It was what I wanted; a guy with a really good full-face makeup job
I went to the Walmart in Starke. This is a small rural town, lots of blue-collar, it has its’ share of rednecks and old farmers, retirees, generally, a typical small-town mix. As I began to push a shopping cart around, I was struck by an interesting observation: The men, for the most part, did not even notice or care. It was the women’s reactions that truly were unexpected. There was no real negativity. What I noticed, was that the women really LOOKED. And reacted. There were a lot of approving smiles, and a few times one or another would actually speak a compliment I was asked if I did my own makeup, I was complimented on my lashes, someone asked me if i was wearing a wig. There was a lot of unexpected engagement, much more than I had ever seen as a drab male, no matter how dressed. Of course, it wasn’t everyone. But it was really noticeable.
I tried an experiment. In the softest voice I could muster, I started asking for help in locating an item. Generally, the woman would respond saying yes ma’am, often, and then maybe correct themselves, or even ask which I preferred. The men were simply confused. Almost all used ma’am, but you could hear the question in their usage.
I felt exhilarated on leaving, It was my boldest move so far. And then it dawned on me that if I had worn clothes just a little more on the girl side, I would have probably “passed’. But overall, even in this conservative little town, no one was standing ready to sound an alarm to beat me up.
What kind of first-pass experiences has anyone else had?
I’ve never done this, but have seen guys, including a few with beards, in full makeup but otherwise drab – and one guy fully femme, but with beard.
I’ve also been out fully femme but with no makeup – and I am 6’4″, so there’s no real reason to think I could possibly pass!
Bottom line is you do you, and people love it. I’ve noticed that many women are particularly vocal and even physical in their approval.
The audience of drag shows tends to be predominantly women – I think a larger number of women than you might expect love a guy in a dress. I partially blame/thank Ru Paul. 😍😍😍😍
A bold move ! Well no one screamed and hid their children, you were referred to as ‘Ma’am’, how good can it get? It would be obvious from what you say that if you had of worn femme attire you would have passed, or, still been treated with respect.
One step at a time and well done.
Sounds like you had a great experience.
I have done similar experiments in my small town in Ontario.
I had the day off work with many errands to run. That included two banks requiring my ID, grocery store and walmart. I had on full makeup, womens jeans, top, jacket, high heels, big hoop earrings, no wig.
Everyone was fine with me. No real double takes. A little nervous waiting in line at the bank, you know how slow they are. Lots of time for people to notice me. The teller was great, asked for my ID and processed my request, but needed authorization from manager who came over and chatted with me asked the required questions and was very pleasant.
I have yet to have a negative experience. I do tent to go out durring the day to populated areas, where most people will be on good behavior.
Enjoy being out and about, it is a great feeling.
Paula
Congrats on your outing and I hope you’ll soon be presenting fully as a female. Looking at your pics, I don’t think you would have any problem at all in passing. Anyone who gets compliments from females on their look has gotten it right so go for it girl!
I was out the other day with a long ponytail, no makeup, clear gloss fingernails, and obvious C cup breasts. I too noticed more women were checking me out than men and the ones I came in contact with were polite as they looked me over. No compliments but no problems either.
That is encouraging. I appreciate your compliment. In heels and even dressed modestly as a woman, I am BIG. I can look proportioned, but like looking through a 2x mirror, you wouldn’t miss me in a crowd. That draws a lot of scrutinies, and that’s why I so far have hesitated
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Hi Marla.
Yep I get that being BIG… I’m six foot and over 200lbs. We just have to be ourselves and own our space. I once posted a thread about being too big to be a female but its now lost in the spider web of CDH.
Hi Marla!
That’s wonderful! Good for you! And you look great!
I now keep my mascara and lipstick close to me and go out often in boy-mode wearing them. It’s my “stepping stone”, but no one has said anything yet. I’m now wearing my thicker black tights with a feminine winter coat since it’s getting cold up here in Ontario. It’s a nice feeling!
Continued success!
Hugs, Barb
Congrats on your outing Marla.
I’ve never done obvious makeup dressed as a man, but have done subtle makeup at times.
One time I was going to a friend’s party (en femme) in late afternoon. But early afternoon I had my waxing appointment. In order to save time, I did up my face with beard cover, foundation, and a bit of contouring before going to my appointment. Somehow, while working on my back or the back of my legs, the tissue paper must have moved, because when I got up there were makeup streaks on the padding on the table that the woman had to clean off. The next time I went in, I told her I was a crossdresser.
Another time, after being out all day with the family, my ex said something to me that really got me livid. I needed time to clear my head, and went for a long walk. Most of the way is without sidewalks and inadequate street lights. It was late dusk or early evening. On my way back, maybe 10 minutes from home, I passed a church. Here there was a sidewalk and a driveway. Somehow I missed the sidewalk, and tripped. I was bleeding, and when I got home I found out I gave myself a black eye as well. I cleaned myself up, but for the next week and a half, I was wearing a little bit of makeup on my face to cover the discoloration (of course, glasses helped too). I even had to bring some makeup with me to touch it up at work. No one said anything to me, so I guess either they are too polite, not looking closely, or I did a halfway decent job covering up my eye.
Thank you dearly for sharing. I am learning a lot from everyone’s take on the question. It was kind of you to contribute
I forgot to add: I have a GG friend who is 5’11”. So 6 feet, while tall, is not unheard of. Don’t let your height be an excuse for not passing.
While not exactly to answer your question. last week I had a different reaction from others in the past. I had been shopping in the local Wal-Mart dressed full fem. I have been getting compliments on my nails from some gg’s (often a casher, and then sometimes after I complemented them on their nails) but this time as I was leaving the store with my purchase the door watcher said to me nice hair, I was sooo suprised that it took me a couple of seconds to say thank you.
Just another thing that made my day.
.,. . CassieI have found, in my limited experience, women are so much more accepting. It’s men’s reaction that keep me behind the front door. Even going out en drab with my hair coloured, nails painted and earrings men have been far more ‘vocal’ expressing their distaste for my appearance.
Be safe. Love and Peace.
Amber
Thank you for your response. may I ask generally, what part of the country? rural or urban? is this just everyday stores? Big hugs
Irvine, Ca. I’ve been run out of my fav watering hole due to outright rude and abusive comments by other customers. Management told me they could not regulate other peoples speech and to just ignore them or move away. Grrr. Really hard ignore 7-8 months of constant comments.
Be safe. Love and Peace.
Amber
Hi Marla
Thank you for telling us how it went I delighted to hear it went well, that gives us all confidence nice to hear the positive comments. I have to say your make up in your picture looks lovely well done you for being brave.
Love Sarah
xx
That’s a great step to take! And what positive reinforcement too with your interactions. You’re doing great, and soon you’ll take another step, and soon after that you’ll just be another gurl out and about, paving the way for those behind you.
Bridgette
Today I had another encounter. After work I stopped in the local grocery store to pick up a couple of things. I was still bundled up in my coat and heavy hat covering my head, so still in male mode and as I was checking out the cashier called me ma’am twice. I am sure it was because of my long painted nails. Kind of made my day.
. . . Cassie
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