• Creator
    Topic
  • #580235
    Marla Marlessa
    Participant
    Registered On: November 21, 2021
    Topics: 3
    Replies: 30
    Has thanked: 95 times
    Been thanked: 157 times

    I still Cannot bring Marla out completely in public: I am not quite that brave yet. However, I have tried an experiment to dip my toe in the water, so to speak. I picked a random town, Starke Florida, in the North Central part of the state. I did not go extreme, but it was bold. As a guy, I am 6 feet, fairly substantial. I do have long shoulder-length hair, that in guy mode means a ponytail

    For my outing that day, the ponytail disappeared, and an hour of curling iron and hairspray later was just on the edge of girl. Real close shave, foundation, powder, blush, and subtle but obvious lip color. I used a somewhat bold false eyelash set, and the finished product was Marla peeking back at me in the mirror but muted. I wore my regular jeans, Pocket t-shirt. It was what I wanted; a guy with a really good full-face makeup job

    I went to the Walmart in Starke. This is a small rural town, lots of blue-collar, it has its’ share of rednecks and old farmers, retirees, generally, a typical small-town mix. As I began to push a shopping cart around, I was struck by an interesting observation: The men, for the most part, did not even notice or care. It was the women’s reactions that truly were unexpected. There was no real negativity. What I noticed, was that the women really LOOKED. And reacted. There were a lot of approving smiles, and a few times one or another would actually speak a compliment I was asked if I did my own makeup, I was complimented on my lashes, someone asked me if i was wearing a wig. There was a lot of unexpected engagement, much more than I had ever seen as a drab male, no matter how dressed. Of course, it wasn’t everyone. But it was really noticeable.

    I tried an experiment. In the softest voice I could muster, I started asking for help in locating an item. Generally, the woman would respond saying yes ma’am, often, and then maybe correct themselves,  or even ask which I preferred. The men were simply confused. Almost all used ma’am, but you could hear the question in their usage.

    I felt exhilarated on leaving, It was my boldest move so far. And then it dawned on me that if I had worn clothes just a little more on the girl side, I would have probably “passed’. But overall, even in this conservative little town, no one was standing ready to sound an alarm to beat me up.

    What kind of first-pass experiences has anyone else had?

Viewing 15 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #581107
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 36
      Replies: 745
      Has thanked: 1626 times
      Been thanked: 3532 times

      Today I had another encounter. After work I stopped in the local grocery store to pick up a couple of things. I was still bundled up in my coat and heavy hat covering my head, so still in male mode and as I was checking out the cashier called me ma’am twice. I am sure it was because of my long painted nails. Kind of made my day.

      . . . Cassie

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #581190
        Marla Marlessa
        Lady
        Registered On: November 21, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 30
        Has thanked: 95 times
        Been thanked: 157 times

        That is perfectly sweet!

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #581030
      Bridgette VonSmirff
      Lady
      Registered On: October 18, 2020
      Topics: 47
      Replies: 1423
      Has thanked: 19442 times
      Been thanked: 5817 times

      That’s a great step to take! And what positive reinforcement too with your interactions. You’re doing great, and soon you’ll take another step, and soon after that you’ll just be another gurl out and about, paving the way for those behind you.

      Bridgette

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #581037
        Marla Marlessa
        Lady
        Registered On: November 21, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 30
        Has thanked: 95 times
        Been thanked: 157 times

        What kind words those are, Bridgett. As a matter of fact, I started a search today for a good pro makeup person to teach me the next level! Life is getting so much better!

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #581001
      Sarah Du Hessisse
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2020
      Topics: 28
      Replies: 821
      Has thanked: 5596 times
      Been thanked: 3254 times

      Hi Marla

      Thank you for telling us how it went I delighted to hear it went well, that gives us all confidence nice to hear the positive comments. I have to say your make up in your picture looks lovely well done you for being brave.

      Love Sarah

      xx

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #580983
      Clara Cross
      Lady
      Registered On: December 7, 2020
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 562
      Has thanked: 1650 times
      Been thanked: 2583 times

      There are a lot of really good lessons there Marla. Thank you for posting that.
      May you be always so bold and confident. And pretty ; )

      Best to you,
      Clara

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #580964
      Amber Scott
      Duchess
      Registered On: June 30, 2019
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 179
      Has thanked: 273 times
      Been thanked: 761 times

      I have found, in my limited experience, women are so much more accepting. It’s men’s reaction that keep me behind the front door. Even going out en drab with my hair coloured, nails painted and earrings men have been far more ‘vocal’ expressing their distaste for my appearance.

      Be safe. Love and Peace.

      Amber

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #581028
        Marla Marlessa
        Lady
        Registered On: November 21, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 30
        Has thanked: 95 times
        Been thanked: 157 times

        Thank you for your response. may I ask generally, what part of the country? rural or urban? is this just everyday stores? Big hugs

        • #581031
          Amber Scott
          Duchess
          Registered On: June 30, 2019
          Topics: 6
          Replies: 179
          Has thanked: 273 times
          Been thanked: 761 times

          Irvine, Ca. I’ve been run out of my fav watering hole due to outright rude and abusive comments by other customers. Management told me they could not regulate other peoples speech and to just ignore them or move away. Grrr. Really hard ignore 7-8 months of constant comments.

          Be safe. Love and Peace.

          Amber

          3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #580924
      Liara Wolfe
      Lady
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 779
      Has thanked: 1321 times
      Been thanked: 2884 times

      Wonderful story. Thanks for sharing.

      Hugs, Liara

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #580773
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 36
      Replies: 745
      Has thanked: 1626 times
      Been thanked: 3532 times

      While not exactly to answer your question. last week I had a different reaction from others in the past. I had been shopping in the local Wal-Mart dressed full fem. I have been getting compliments on my nails from some gg’s (often a casher, and then sometimes after I complemented them on their nails) but this time as I was leaving the store with my purchase the door watcher said to me nice hair, I was sooo suprised that it took me a couple of seconds to say thank you.
      Just another thing that made my day.
      .,. . Cassie

    • #580763
      Alison Anderson
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 15, 2018
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 675
      Has thanked: 510 times
      Been thanked: 2894 times

      Congrats on your outing Marla.

      I’ve never done obvious makeup dressed as a man, but have done subtle makeup at times.

      One time I was going to a friend’s party (en femme) in late afternoon.  But early afternoon I had my waxing appointment.  In order to save time, I did up my face with beard cover, foundation, and a bit of contouring before going to my appointment.  Somehow, while working on my back or the back of my legs, the tissue paper must have moved, because when I got up there were makeup streaks on the padding on the table that the woman had to clean off.  The next time I went in, I told her I was a crossdresser.

      Another time, after being out all day with the family, my ex said something to me that really got me livid.  I needed time to clear my head, and went for a long walk.  Most of the way is without sidewalks and inadequate street lights.  It was late dusk or early evening.  On my way back, maybe 10 minutes from home, I passed a church.  Here there was a sidewalk and a driveway.  Somehow I missed the sidewalk, and tripped.  I was bleeding, and when I got home I found out I gave myself a black eye as well.  I cleaned myself up, but for the next week and a half, I was wearing a little bit of makeup on my face to cover the discoloration (of course, glasses helped too).  I even had to bring some makeup with me to touch it up at work.  No one said anything to me, so I guess either they are too polite, not looking closely, or I did a halfway decent job covering up my eye.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #580779
        Marla Marlessa
        Lady
        Registered On: November 21, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 30
        Has thanked: 95 times
        Been thanked: 157 times

        Thank you dearly for sharing.  I am learning a lot from everyone’s take on the question. It was kind of you to contribute

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #580787
          Alison Anderson
          Duchess
          Registered On: October 15, 2018
          Topics: 11
          Replies: 675
          Has thanked: 510 times
          Been thanked: 2894 times

          I forgot to add:  I have a GG friend who is 5’11”.  So 6 feet, while tall, is not unheard of. Don’t let your height be an excuse for not passing.

          1 user thanked author for this post.
          • #580876
            Marla Marlessa
            Lady
            Registered On: November 21, 2021
            Topics: 3
            Replies: 30
            Has thanked: 95 times
            Been thanked: 157 times

            that is great to hear. It is a hurdle I plan to overcome

            1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #580362
      Barb Wire
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: September 16, 2021
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 527
      Has thanked: 2533 times
      Been thanked: 2486 times

      Hi Marla!

      That’s wonderful! Good for you! And you look great!

      I now keep my mascara and lipstick close to me and go out often in boy-mode wearing them. It’s my “stepping stone”,  but no one has said anything yet. I’m now wearing my thicker black tights with a feminine winter coat since it’s getting cold up here in Ontario. It’s a nice feeling!

      Continued success!

      Hugs, Barb

      • #580373
        Marla Marlessa
        Lady
        Registered On: November 21, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 30
        Has thanked: 95 times
        Been thanked: 157 times

        wonderful!  I do get braver as well in the cold, The  Bras come out especially. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #580348
      Holly Goodrich
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 19, 2021
      Topics: 196
      Replies: 771
      Has thanked: 3242 times
      Been thanked: 4810 times

      Sounds like you’ve got this nailed!

      Good luck in future outings.

       

      HollyMarie

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #580375
        Marla Marlessa
        Lady
        Registered On: November 21, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 30
        Has thanked: 95 times
        Been thanked: 157 times

        I love it!  coincidentally, I DID my nails, those long talon-like things I am on my seventh day with them. When I go out, I wear surgical gloves, and no one has said anything negative, I work from home, so I can get away with it. Have a happy day!

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #580306
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 726
      Has thanked: 3485 times
      Been thanked: 3674 times

      Congrats on your outing and I hope you’ll soon be presenting fully as a female. Looking at your pics, I don’t think you would have any problem at all in passing. Anyone who gets compliments from females on their look has gotten it right so go for it girl!

      I was out the other day with a long ponytail, no makeup, clear gloss fingernails, and obvious C cup breasts. I too noticed more women were checking me out than men and the ones I came in contact with were polite as they looked me over. No compliments but no problems either.

      • #580378
        Marla Marlessa
        Lady
        Registered On: November 21, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 30
        Has thanked: 95 times
        Been thanked: 157 times

        That is encouraging. I appreciate your compliment. In heels and even dressed modestly as a woman, I am BIG. I can look proportioned, but like looking through a 2x mirror, you wouldn’t miss me in a crowd. That draws a lot of scrutinies, and that’s why I so far have hesitated

        3 users thanked author for this post.
        • #580382
          Michelle McQueen
          Lady
          Registered On: June 14, 2021
          Topics: 16
          Replies: 726
          Has thanked: 3485 times
          Been thanked: 3674 times

          Hi Marla.

          Yep I get that being BIG… I’m six foot and over 200lbs. We just have to be ourselves and own our space. I once posted a thread about being too big to be a female but its now lost in the spider web of CDH.

          4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #580278
      Paula Here
      Lady
      Registered On: April 13, 2020
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 132
      Has thanked: 639 times
      Been thanked: 839 times

      Sounds like you had a great experience.

      I have done similar experiments in my small town in Ontario.

      I had the day off work with many errands to run.  That included two banks requiring my ID, grocery store and walmart. I had on full makeup, womens jeans, top, jacket,  high heels, big hoop earrings,  no wig.

      Everyone was fine with me. No real double takes.  A little nervous waiting in line at the bank, you know how slow they are.  Lots of time for people to notice me.  The teller was great, asked for my ID and processed my request, but needed authorization from manager who came over and chatted with me asked the required questions and was very pleasant.

      I have yet to have a negative experience.  I do tent to go out durring the day to populated areas, where most people will be on good behavior.

      Enjoy being out and about, it is a great feeling.

       

      Paula

      • #580380
        Marla Marlessa
        Lady
        Registered On: November 21, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 30
        Has thanked: 95 times
        Been thanked: 157 times

        Just hearing that is so encouraging. Good for you!

    • #580266
      Bobbisue Jones
      Lady
      Registered On: May 24, 2021
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 705
      Has thanked: 4951 times
      Been thanked: 2800 times

      Hi Marla, a bold and up lifting adventure to be sure. Compliments on your makeup is always a plus. From your picture, I think you look very good. I am sure once dressed you look great. Hopefully it will show other to take that first step out ( not necessarily that bold ), but that they can go out en femme and no one will care. Hugs Bobbisue J

       

      • #580381
        Marla Marlessa
        Lady
        Registered On: November 21, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 30
        Has thanked: 95 times
        Been thanked: 157 times

        My hope is it will help others, but as well it really helps me to see the responses and positivity from the ones who are already fully out there and the semi out like me . I am still floored by the support and responsiveness of this group. I had never experienced this before

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #580254
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 639
      Has thanked: 1801 times
      Been thanked: 3085 times

      A bold move ! Well no one screamed and hid their children, you were referred to as ‘Ma’am’, how good can it get? It would be obvious from what you say that if you had of worn femme attire you would have passed, or, still been treated with respect.

      One step at a time and well done.

      • #580384
        Marla Marlessa
        Lady
        Registered On: November 21, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 30
        Has thanked: 95 times
        Been thanked: 157 times

        That is deeply appreciated, Angela. The responses of this group and comments that you just made are building me by the moment. I feel the fondness

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #580247
      Laura Lovett
      Lady
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
      Topics: 37
      Replies: 1529
      Has thanked: 4724 times
      Been thanked: 7482 times

      I’ve never done this, but have seen guys, including a few with beards, in full makeup but otherwise drab – and one guy fully femme, but with beard.

      I’ve also been out fully femme but with no makeup – and I am 6’4″, so there’s no real reason to think I could possibly pass!

      Bottom line is you do you, and people love it. I’ve noticed that many women are particularly vocal and even physical in their approval.

      The audience of drag shows tends to be predominantly women – I think a larger number of women than you might expect love a guy in a dress. I partially blame/thank Ru Paul. 😍😍😍😍

      • #580386
        Marla Marlessa
        Lady
        Registered On: November 21, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 30
        Has thanked: 95 times
        Been thanked: 157 times

        Nice thoughts! thank you! I too am tall six foot, and big, Not fat, but you KNOW I am there.

        In my size 15 women’s heels, it is hard to think I could ever pass, so I have to get brave and accept people will know…..and I should not care.  Your thoughts help toward that goal of accepting me as me

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #580238
      Sara Thomassm
      Lady
      Registered On: November 8, 2019
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 38
      Has thanked: 289 times
      Been thanked: 241 times

      Way to go Little steps at a time

      Sara

      • #580387
        Marla Marlessa
        Lady
        Registered On: November 21, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 30
        Has thanked: 95 times
        Been thanked: 157 times

        And soon those steps will be in Heels!  thank you

        1 user thanked author for this post.
Viewing 15 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account