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Hi ladies,
Perhaps this has been previously discussed and I’ve not seen it, but I wondered what everyone’s opinion was regarding wearing your male-looking wedding ring while dressed? I’m married, my SO doesn’t know (would freak out if she met Jackie).
Initially, I kept my wedding ring on, but nothing would “out me” to a woman like my big hands wearing a wide gold wedding band. Lately, when I dress, I’ve been taking it off, using the logic that Jackie isn’t married.
I’m sure others have confronted this issue – just looking for some advice in the cornfields of central Illinois. 💋
Jackie xoxox
I have never been married Jackie but I do have a faux girls diamond engagment ring and wedding band to match which I wear on occasion to help blend in
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Love that idea, thanks Deborah! 💋
Hi Jackie, I wear my plain gold band from our wedding in 1974. I also wear a Hawaiian Heirloom wedding band that has my bride’s Hawaiian name, “Kepola”, etched around the band. When Kathy has a chance to get all dolled up I remove the original wedding bands and wear a costume jewelry wedding set. They make my hands look more feminine, especially if I paint my nails. I cannot go out and about as Kathy, due to the dreaded facial hair that wifey insists I keep. I would , for sure wear the wedding set if I could share Kathy with the world. They would make a statement that I am not available, just in case I might draw an admirer’s attention.
Hugs, Kathy
Kathy –
My situation is similar to yours. My wife knows about my dressing and I can dress at home when she is out. I also have facial hair that she doesn’t want me to shave off, as I only dress at home I’m okay with that. I love your pictures with a mask. Maks make it easier to be able to present when you have facial hair. My wife suggested a facial veil, I tried that with a mask made with fringe and it worked pretty well. As to the question of the post – my wedding band doesn’t come off.
XOXO
Suzanne
Have you thought for a moment what would your wife feel about your reasoning about “Jackie not being married”? I mean, I guess that most married people remains married whether they are wearing a ring or not anyway…
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I have. I know she would not want Jackie in her life. We’ve grown in different ways over our marriage – I’ve become more accepting of everything and everyone, while she has become more certain in her beliefs. She loves our adult kids, she adores our grandkids, and loves me in her own way as long as I conform to her expectations: Don’t go out with friends, don’t do things that call attention to yourself, check with me on everything. The small piece of me that is Jackie is so beyond her understanding, let alone her love
I used to take my gold band off if I went out dressed. Didn’t feel right about that. Then I went to Walmart and bought a cheap wedding band. It just felt more right to wear something that showed I was spoken for. It also just felt so nice to look at my hand and see something so feminine on my finger.
Hi Jackie,
Great question! I got a cheap women’s wedding set online to wear when I’m out. I figure it will reduce getting hit-on by unwelcome interested people. It just gives me a visual cue that I’m not two separate people, and at least part of me is married. Even if my wife never knew anything “happened” I would know, and I just began getting rid of 40 years of guilt from my CD secret. I’m not about to add something else to that to work out in therapy (giggle).
Not to say you or anyone else has to do the same. I just couldn’t even date more than one girl at a time when I was single.
Hugs,
Brie
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Married but don’t wear a wedding band since it almost took off my finger the second year of our marriage. I was working construction and it got caught on a nail and yeow! I have costume rings I like to wear when fully dressed otherwise no rings at all.
Hi Jackie,
I use to take my ring off when I was young when I golfed and put it in my pocket. One day I lost it and could not find an exact replacement. it has always bothered me so I never take my ring off anymore. I haven’t been out dressed yet but I hope to soon and will leave my wedding band on for fear of losing it. While it is a bit of a give away there are many other reasons I would be clocked not the least of which is my voice. My goal for my future trips out is blending in and acceptance rather than passing.
Hugs,
Michelle
It’s a slippery slope saying one isnt married when dressed enfemme.
I know I will tread on toes. I do not care that I do. Marriage is a great sacred union. (Divorce does happen. I’m included. )
I have seen too many make excuses about their alt ego not being married and therefore they flirt, talk dirty, meet up with others yada yada making excuses that the one doing it isn’t married to their wife. (And the dresser then goes off big time when eventually caught.)
A common complaint among the cd community is their wife doesn’t accept their dressing. Maybe. Just maybe. If the CDer proved to their wife they were 100% trustworthy and had their back no matter what, the wife would be more accommodating.
If you watch porn, your cheating on your marriage. If you flirt with others, your cheating on your marriage. If your wanking and fantasizing about sex outside the marriage your cheating on the marriage.
Every time you cheat on the marriage you destroy the sacred trust and union between you both.
If you want a strong marriage. Be proud of your marriage status and declare it to the world, dressed or not.
Anyways. I’ll step down from my soapbox now.
Hi Jackie
Try adding an (fake) engagement and maybe also an eternity rings. Will truly feminise your finger, draw attention away from the gold band to the bling.
B x
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Terrific idea, thank you!
I do what several other commenters here have said: For about two years now, I’ve been wearing a woman’s wedding ring and an engagement ring at all times when I am en femme. I only dress at home. When in drab mode, I wear no rings at all — got divorced in 1996 and have lived alone since.
As to going out en femme wearing my wedding ring set, well, so far I’ve never BEEN out dressed femme — except for ONE TIME: I wore my ring set every day for 5 full days while in full femme at the Keystone Conference.
I might add just one more thing. The exquisite sensation of warm gratification I feel inside while wearing my wedding/engagement set is something I cannot explain, but it’s real, it’s a joy, and I love it.
I’m married and don’t wear a ring unless I’m out for a special event. Otherwise, it’s just going to get scratched up.
My mother has always just worn a regular gold band. She has a nice ring on a jewelry box. She just hates that a gemstone seems to always get in the way.
If you don’t feel like wearing a ring don’t. However, I don’t think it’s fair to your spouse for you to pretend to be unmarried. Maybe tell them you just want to experiment with jewelry/rings. They might even want to help you pick out a prettier ring ❤
My wedding rings (yes, plural) consist of three bands that roll over each other. They are kind of unisex. And they are almost never taken off. The few times I’ve been out fully en femme, I’ve worn them and spoken openly about my marriage with the new friends I’ve met. Particularly about the fact that my wife would not accept Raquel.
But, I don’t flirt and would never consider cheating. I’m just expressing the part of me that is feminine in a way that my wife wouldn’t understand.
Much love,
Raquel
My wedding ring never comes off. The exception is if I’m dead and then it will go to another family member to be used over again or melted down and used to make another family ring. I made my wife’s ring and mine out of gold from previous family member’s rings and so the tradition goes on. I’m not talking about the Crown Jewels here, just simple gold bands. When I glam up, I add other rings to match my outfit. These are usually rings from other family members who have left this earth. I usually include a nice cocktail ring and an appropriate engagement ring. I like it when the event becomes a family affair and I include jewelry from loved ones. I am also happy to explain the history if someone should comment on my rings. Like Popeye, I am what I am. Happy Pride Month, Marg
After having two rings removed in the emergency room and one cut off I seldom wear a ring. But my wife insists I wear the engagement
set she bought me whenever I am dressed.Michelle, it is definitely the rings. You are a very attractive woman. I am sure guys would love to get to know you.
Holy smokes, Michelle – I can’t get over how much you look like Katie Segal in some of your pix! You are a lovely lady!
Hugs, Kathy
I wear a wedding ring set yet still get hit on. I wonder if it could be because I am wearing an ankle bracelet.
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Stephanie, I think everyone has a different reaction to being hit on. The only time it ever happened to me was the only the I ever went out dressed. I was driving at night, pulled up to a light, and a group of young men on a nearby corner started calling to me, telling me I should come party with them. I was initially freaked out, then happy after that I must have looked feminine to them (even if the response was crass).
Hi Jackie, As many of the ladies on this thread have mentioned, there can be an impact associated with no rings on and men approaching them. In my experience it actually does not matter to most of the men for some reason – even when my spouse is out with me. I (we) receive mobile phone numbers written on a business card or paper even at very nice restaurant establishments with or without rings on. We both find it funny.
A TRICK I have found that works for me when travelling out of town on business at conferences is my name tag. I often keep on my name tag as it identifies my “global VP” position with my business attire. It provides an impression I am all business and not a blonde airhead out for a good time. The men are very respectful is seems to me anyway. (Copied from above)
I will wear it, and other rings off and on.
A few years ago (for reasons I did not understand and was honestly bothered by it), my wife stopped wearing her ring. She said it “bothered” her. Being at that time VERY insecure I had my suspicions but………….a whole other story!
So in spite of that (and juvenile on my part) I stopped wearing mine.
It’s jewelry, and I’m working up the courage to pierce my ears so I can start wearing ear rings.
Can’t wait!
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That is very strange – how a ring that didn’t bother her suddenly bothered her. I’m sure you asked why it bothered her, but if your situation is like mine, a shrug or “it just does” doesn’t help. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this, though I think we have much in common. Private message me if you want someone to talk to, but I don’t want to otherwise intrude.
We wives sometimes fluctuate on weight and the ring can become uncomfortable or hard to get on and/off. I wear mine less when I’m up a few pounds or if my fingers are puffy. When my husband asked me why I didn’t wear mine I first said “because it bothers me.” Now I say “because I feel like a busted can of biscuits.”
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Thanks for pointing this out. – I hadn’t thought of this.
I found that taking off my man’s wedding ring and putting on a woman’s set (once I came out to her, my wife actually let me use hers, that I bought for her!) makes it obvious that I am a married woman. However, prior to my coming out to my wife, I used to put on a pretty, feminine gemstone ring of some sort on my left hand so that the shadow from where my wedding band usually is would not be obvious.
My wife has never liked wearing jewelry. I got her rings, but she didn’t like wearing those either so now they’re sitting in a drawer. We’ve each made brief comments in passing about getting the diamond reset into a ring for me. Unfortunately, my fingers are a lot thicker and I don’t think the stone would look right on my hand.
For me, I have the typical fake diamond and band surrounding my actual wedding band. The wedding band is in the middle of these two and is almost impossible to tell it is not part of the other set.
I have left the house in hurry forgetting to grab the fake wedding rings and as such, took off my wedding band and had no rings on at all.
As many of the ladies on this thread have mentioned, there can be an impact associated with no rings on and men approaching them. In my experience it actually does not matter to most of the men for some reason – even when my spouse is out with me. I (we) receive mobile phone numbers written on a business card or paper even at very nice restaurant establishments with or without rings on. We both find it funny.
A TRICK I have found that works for me when travelling out of town on business at conferences is my name tag. I often keep on my name tag as it identifies my “global VP” position with my business attire. It provides an impression I am all business and not a blonde airhead out for a good time. The men are very respectful is seems to me anyway.
The men in our experience have been very cordial and not pushy at all. They wish for the conversation and peering close at whatever we are wearing(LOL)-
Global VP – I love it! If anyone asks “VP of what?” you can always tell them “busting your balls.”
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