- December 18, 2021 at 5:32 pm #590707Carmen CruzParticipantRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 27Replies: 286Has thanked: 433 timesBeen thanked: 1721 times
So, here I am last night walking around the casino just doing my thing, enjoying the moment, making small talk, walking around, when I decided to sit at a machine with the 20 I had in my purse. 2 button pushes later, bam, I get a jackpot. As I watched the machine climb, all I can think about (I wasn’t even thinking money wise), was crap, if I get a hand pay, I’m gonna have to out myself.
So the machine continued to climb, and that was that, Call attendant… hand pay.
The guy comes to the machine, I hand him my ID, and lean in and whisper “I need to tell you my ID doesn’t match me… I’m transgender and it’s my male ID”.
The guy doesn’t even bat an eye, says no problem at all. Then leaves and does his thing.
So they come back the money, always with a 2nd person to witness (assuming he was a manager), and the first thing he says was “So what name do you go by?”… I said “Carmen”. He say’s “Well Ms. Carmen, congratulations, it’s your first one!”
And the clerk counting out the money says… “Again, congratulations. And by the way, everyone here thinks you’re the prettiest woman that walks into this place”. Smiles and walks away.
I walked around for a little afterwards, and as I pass him a few times, he just smiles and treated me as he always has in previous visits… like a cute little hottie. LMAO!
Total of 34 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- December 19, 2021 at 1:10 pm #591094Angela BoothLadyRegistered On: August 1, 2020Topics: 9Replies: 1007Has thanked: 3745 timesBeen thanked: 4686 times
- December 19, 2021 at 10:56 pm #591265Carmen CruzLadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 27Replies: 286Has thanked: 433 timesBeen thanked: 1721 times
Yes, that’s the most important part of it. Being able to contribute to close ones in need. It’s been challenging time for many, and I personally haven’t been affected financially. I didn’t keep one dollar from that winning. LOL. I don’t go to the casino to win, and definitely don’t want to make a habit of “trying to make money” at a casino. I’m grateful to just be able to give.
- December 19, 2021 at 8:38 am #590958
- December 19, 2021 at 8:03 am #590927TerriDuchessRegistered On: May 17, 2016Topics: 0Replies: 221Has thanked: 252 timesBeen thanked: 725 times
- December 19, 2021 at 3:16 am #590815
- December 19, 2021 at 2:33 am #590808Regine KellyLadyRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 44Replies: 1464Has thanked: 20371 timesBeen thanked: 6973 times
- December 18, 2021 at 9:14 pm #590769Rhonda LeeBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 77Has thanked: 95 timesBeen thanked: 448 times
For any who may be interested, the coining of the term “transgender” is generally attributed to Virginia Prince, the founder of the predecessor group of Tri-Ess, a national group founded to support the interest of Crossdressers. I think she referred to crossdressers as “transgenderists”. When I first discovered that organization in 2009 “transgender” was a word fairly synonymous with “crossdresser.” Transitioning folks were generally referred to as “transsexuals”, either non-operational or “post-op”. That name fell out of favor and most came to use the term “transgender” instead. The concept of a “transgender umbrella” arose, intended to be all inclusive. To confuse matters even further, the transgender umbrella itself encompassed a subset termed “transgenders” who were considered to be those who had transitioned. there was no term or place for “crossdresser” within the umbrella. It remains undefined by the World Professional Association of Transgender Health, “WPATH”, who could not find consensus among world organizations sufficient to codify a definition. I approached the President of WPATH when speaking at a class of his medical students on the subject about 5 years ago. He was a leader of the committee who redefined terms. I asked where I fell under the umbrella. He later told me he was unaware before meeting me that there was such a thing as a “crossdresser.” I guess we are more hidden than we know. After some thought I was told perhaps I’d be “gender deviant”… upon further reflection maybe “gender non-conforming”. I changed my presentations so as to avoid using the term “transgender” so as not to connote a person who has transitioned. Most people I knew at that time thought a “crossdresser” is someone who will transition, the only difference being 2 years. While said as a joke, it is believed by most I know. A “crossdresser” is often believed to be someone who has not quite made it to their destination. There is no research I know to suggest that there is a “path” to such a destination, as many believe. We could be two entirely different subsets of people. Even though it is usually true that those who transition often go through a crossdressing phase, the vast majority I know of those who transition had a sense from their earliest memories that they were a girl, whereas most crossdressers I have known are not born with this innate belief and usually come to an awareness of their propensity for dressing at a later age, typically early teens…. not to say that this is their first dressing experience, but USUALLY a crossdresser has a different sense of who they are, dating from their earliest childhood memories.
I had an opportunity to speak at a national convention held by WPATH a couple years ago. There I met those who had defined the term “transgender” which was phrased in a way I considered ambiguous. They told me that they never envisioned that crossdressers would NOT be viewed as part of that term. So a few of us worked to clarify the WPATH’s Standards of Practice to make it clear that crossdressers were included within the definition of “transgender” and should be treated as such by medical professionals, counselors, and for other purposes, such as statutes referencing the term “transgender”, which could determine what rights would extend to crossdressers. We succeeded in revising the GEI (“Global Education Initiative”) which is the training given to professionals worldwide, so as to include crossdressers within the definition of “transgender.” This is consistent with existing terminology applied by the American Psychiatric Association.
So it is accurate for a crossdresser to describe themself as “transgender”. The practical problem with this is that relatively few in the general public know what that means. They often assume that a crossdresser believes himself/herself to be a gender incongruent with their birth sex… i.e., most often, a biological male believing he is a woman, and who would likely be on a path to transition. So few crossdressers speak out in public that statistics quoted, such as those referencing the Williams Study, generally are derived from those who ARE on a transition path or who are fully transitioned. These people can be medically identified and are most apt to be the ones known in the public. it is hard to PROVE that crossdressers even exist; few would venture to participate in a study, whereas those who transition of necessity have a medically identifiable path and are far more visible.
Bottom line: “Transgender” may be defined to include crossdressers, and in fact not so long ago was considered a synonymous term by most, but not all would see it that way these days, as those on the transitioning side have a strong lobby to promote their specific interests, whereas most crossdressers prefer to remain silent and hidden.
I personally use the term “crossdresser” to describe myself, to minimize confusion and mis-perception. But if anyone really wants to listen I will explain more. I think it important to realize we have common causes and should all be allies. At the same time, it is important to recognize what the term “transgender” implies to many.. someone who believes they are born in the wrong body and wishes to achieve congruency via HRT and operations…. not something most wives want to hear.
I thank the author for bringing this concern into focus. The answer given was absolutely correct; the fear that it might be mis-interpreted is also correct. I hope that the broader community can come to accept that we are all transgender and that this term need not connote a desire to transition or asssumption that a biological man believes he is a woman. I personally believe crossdressers enjoy the best of all worlds… the ability to experience and enjoy both their feminine and masculine sides to their fullest. Neither that, nor the belief by others assigned male at birth that they are truly women should have any negative connotations.
- December 18, 2021 at 9:08 pm #590764Barb WireDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: September 16, 2021Topics: 15Replies: 677Has thanked: 3920 timesBeen thanked: 3283 times
- December 18, 2021 at 8:40 pm #590757
- December 18, 2021 at 6:26 pm #590732Clara CrossLadyRegistered On: December 7, 2020Topics: 16Replies: 562Has thanked: 1797 timesBeen thanked: 2622 times
Ding, ding, ding! Two jackpots in one. Well done Carmen.
I also think your choice of how to express yourself, either CD or TG, under those circumstances was spot on. Although the reaction of staff would very likely have been the same, I can see how it would feel like there was a whole lot less explaining to do by saying “transgender”. Somehow it seems like more people have an understanding of what that means. My personal opinion is that CD/TG are very closely related anyway. It’s more a matter of degree.
Anyway, congratulations and good things for you for sharing your good fortune.
- December 18, 2021 at 6:03 pm #590718Stephanie BassHostessRegistered On: November 30, 2019Topics: 22Replies: 3468Has thanked: 49788 timesBeen thanked: 12337 times
- December 18, 2021 at 6:00 pm #590715
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- December 18, 2021 at 6:05 pm #590720LadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 27Replies: 286Has thanked: 433 timesBeen thanked: 1721 times
The interesting bit was this… I didn’t know why I told him transgender vs. crossdresser. I wasn’t quite sure what to say, and I have to figure out why I went with transgender vs. crossdresser. Was I more proud to say transgender? is one more “acceptable” than the other (in my mind). I don’t know.
- December 18, 2021 at 9:50 pm #590772AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
- December 18, 2021 at 6:47 pm #590735AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
HI Carman if was my situation would have said transgender too but with my situation really am. I am sure they wouldn’t think of doing a pat down or such. If did they could be in some trouble. Would think. Oh did they take some pics of you with the winnings.
- December 19, 2021 at 2:31 am #590807Regine KellyLadyRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 44Replies: 1464Has thanked: 20371 timesBeen thanked: 6973 times
My opinion, only, and I don’t wish to create controversy, but I think, most of us, are transgender, whether crossdressing, or transitioning.
As has been debated so many times, up and down the road, if we put on forms, use shapewear, makeup, wigs, whatever, if we do more than just wear the clothes, its much more than crossdressing, its on the transgender spectrum.
- December 19, 2021 at 3:31 am #590820Haley AnnRegistered On: October 12, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 257Has thanked: 247 timesBeen thanked: 1250 times
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- December 18, 2021 at 6:08 pm #590725LadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 27Replies: 286Has thanked: 433 timesBeen thanked: 1721 times
Haha! While yeah, it would buy a ton of shoes… I actually just put it in xmas cards as I have many friends (with families) who are going through major struggles these days.
- December 18, 2021 at 6:01 pm #590716LadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 27Replies: 286Has thanked: 433 timesBeen thanked: 1721 times
omg… I didn’t even think about it that way. But YES! LOL.
I was sooooooo scared through it all when I realized it was hand-pay. That was seriously all I could think about. Couldn’t even see past that and enjoy the moment of extra cash! LOL.
- December 18, 2021 at 5:38 pm #590708Jamie WilliamsLadyRegistered On: July 26, 2021Topics: 15Replies: 130Has thanked: 297 timesBeen thanked: 971 times
- December 19, 2021 at 10:53 pm #591264
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