- This topic has 7 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 6 years ago by
.
- Posts
The chat room here at CDH is an interesting place. It’s the people though, that make it interesting. We cover such a broad spectrum, from those still deeply in the closet through as many permutations as you can imagine to those who have completed transition.
What is most apparent from observing everyone who comes to the site, both those who sign up as members and those who are frequent visitors as guests, is that there is no such thing as a typical crossdresser. So, if that’s the case, where do we go as we develop? To what do we aspire? What should our goals be?
Almost a decade ago I had no idea where my journey would take me, in fact I wasn’t even sure what journey I was on. I was deep in the closet, struggling to work out if there could even be any sort of future as things stood. All I knew was that something had to change so I ended up telling my wife. Nine years on and she is now my greatest supporter and I know I could not exist without her. With her blessing and, more telling, with her encouragement I can crossdress any time I wish to, to whatever degree I want to. We go out together and we’ve shared the news with friends and family. Not only does she accept who I am, she has told me that she is proud of who I am. That is very humbling.
That is wonderful but sometimes I wonder who that person is. When I watch some of the conversations unfolding in chat I think to myself that I know exactly what people are on about, but then there are other times when I feel like I’ve arrived in the room from another planet. A good example is when conversations focus on obsession with underwear. They confuse me. Don’t get me wrong, I wear the items usually mentioned, from hosiery all the way up to a bra, but for me it’s what the clothing represents that is the attraction. I’m not saying everyone else is wrong, I’m just saying that I don’t get it. I wear what I want, or need, to feel good within myself. That’s why I do it. I don’t do it to feel sexy or for pleasure but for the emotional comfort it gives me. It’s just that sometimes it’s made me wonder if I really do belong because my goals seem so different.
That’s okay however because one thing I firmly believe is that even under our common umbrella we are all different. Each of us has our reasons for belonging to the best transgender site on the internet. As long as we recognise those differences then being here can be a pleasant experience. I just let my journey develop as it happens. I make few firm plans because in reality, I’ve achieved my major goals and I’m content to just be who I am where I am along that path and see what happens.
The chat room and the site are just like at a party though, if you don’t like any particular conversations going on, or you’re not keen on how it’s going then there’s no shame in stepping out of the room to get some air. I’ve begun to find it helps.
Hi Jane, well put as usual, I love reading your posts, I can hear your empathy and fire.Of course we’re all different and have different takes on what we do, that’s what makes us human. You enjoy being Jane because it relaxes and calms you and others enjoy it for a more sexual gratification. I’m more like you, I enjoy it for the fact that I am Heather, but it also brings out a different sexual side of me. When I’m Heather I want to be treated like a woman and be held tight when we’re dancing and have the door held for me. I’ve heard people say that gender and sexuality are two different things, they may be two different words but they are definitely inter-twined. As my psychology prof said on our first day, you can’t handle two people the same way because everyone is different and reacts to crisis differently. I’m taking a psychology course for crisis and stress management for a job I started. I love it, always had a thing for psychology. Anyways I’ve rambled enough, I’ve been told I have a habit of doing that. So please don’t stop being Jane, because we do love you here, and let the girls talk nickers love. Take care LOL Heather.
Jane,
Once again, you are speaking truth in words that are so simple. Since joining this site, I have come to better understand myself and who I am. For years, I had suppressed the truth and refused to acknowledge this aspect of who I am. With the help of many on this site, I have been able to embrace this aspect of my personality and to understand that like most groups there is no real label that truly fits everyone. Thanx again for sharing your wisdom.
MacKenzie
[quote quote=32797]Anyways I’ve rambled enough, I’ve been told I have a habit of doing that.[/quote]
I will always have time for another girl who can tell a short story long. 🙂
For me, there’s no issue with what people want to chat about. Heck, I am so very glad that we have a place we can do that, as long as we avoid ‘the big three’ of course. One thing we do talk about occasionally is Monty Python. I am so often reminded of the balcony scene in The Life of Brian. The huge crowd gathered below Brian’s window responds in unison to everything he says. When he tells them that they don’t need to follow him because they are all different a multitude of voices rise and repeat “Yes, we’re all different” before one small, lonely voice says “I’m not”. That’s how I feel sometimes.
Fear not, I’ll be haunting the room for a while yet. 🙂
Hi Ladies,i’m Maddie and would like to say hello to everyone.i like your style Jane , don’t change a thing . not everyone is into the same things, it’s called diversity,and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. again i enjoy your posts, so keep them commin.and for the record a girls panties are her buisness and wear what you like.
Jane, I agree with you but not totally. We are all very much alike as well. I worked for awhile a long time ago in a psychiatric hospital, and one of the firs things a new staff person had to get adjusted too was how much the patient community was like the staff. It was something that we had to constantly be aware of since staff issues could easily end up being acted out by the community of patients. Each of us has a different path through life, each of us has different capabilities and proclivities, each of us has a different understanding of what life is and how it should be lived. But all of us are bound by culture, by our relationships, and by national and economic affiliation. But as bound as we are, we still have a space to be creative in our lives and relationships. The difference in expression of the forms and experience of gender and sexuality play their role in the creative response we make to the world around us. Restrictions on what forms or expressions can be brought into reality stifles the humanity in all of us. I’ve been struck by the creativeness of the people on this site who have responded to their life story by moving to an affirmation of their own sense of what it means to be feminine (and hence masculine). Most of the photos I’ve seen on this site are white men (culturally dominant) who are trying to become or embrace the identity of women (cultural and socially more vulnerable). I believe there is something enormously freeing in the move from maleness to femaleness, the move from domination to vulnerability that opens up more creative and affirming choices. I believe that it brings all of us (even those not dealing with gender issues) closer to a realistic understanding of what it really means to be human.
2016_crossdresser transgender chat: CDH JS original post:
The chat room here at CDH is an interesting place. It’s the people though, that make it interesting. We cover such a broad spectrum, from those still deeply in the closet through as many permutations as you can imagine to those who have completed transition.
What is most apparent from observing everyone who comes to the site, both those who sign up as members and those who are frequent visitors as guests, is that there is no such thing as a typical crossdresser. So, if that’s the case, where do we go as we develop? To what do we aspire? What should our goals be?
Almost a decade ago I had no idea where my journey would take me, in fact I wasn’t even sure what journey I was on. I was deep in the closet, struggling to work out if there could even be any sort of future as things stood. All I knew was that something had to change so I ended up telling my wife. Nine years on and she is now my greatest supporter and I know I could not exist without her. With her blessing and, more telling, with her encouragement I can crossdress any time I wish to, to whatever degree I want to. We go out together and we’ve shared the news with friends and family. Not only does she accept who I am, she has told me that she is proud of who I am. That is very humbling.
That is wonderful but sometimes I wonder who that person is. When I watch some of the conversations unfolding in chat I think to myself that I know exactly what people are on about, but then there are other times when I feel like I’ve arrived in the room from another planet. A good example is when conversations focus on obsession with underwear. They confuse me. Don’t get me wrong, I wear the items usually mentioned, from hosiery all the way up to a bra, but for me it’s what the clothing represents that is the attraction. I’m not saying everyone else is wrong, I’m just saying that I don’t get it. I wear what I want, or need, to feel good within myself. That’s why I do it. I don’t do it to feel sexy or for pleasure but for the emotional comfort it gives me. It’s just that sometimes it’s made me wonder if I really do belong because my goals seem so different.
That’s okay however because one thing I firmly believe is that even under our common umbrella we are all different. Each of us has our reasons for belonging to the best transgender site on the internet. As long as we recognise those differences then being here can be a pleasant experience. I just let my journey develop as it happens. I make few firm plans because in reality, I’ve achieved my major goals and I’m content to just be who I am where I am along that path and see what happens.
The chat room and the site are just like at a party though, if you don’t like any particular conversations going on, or you’re not keen on how it’s going then there’s no shame in stepping out of the room to get some air. I’ve begun to find it helps.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Recent Comments