What a couple of weeks, and what a Wonderful SO!

[Thea]

Dear All,

Please forgive me posting like this: but I can’t keep it in any longer!

What a few weeks/months!  Two months ago I’d never communicated  the secret I’d had for 50+years.   But the pressure just got too much,  and at long last, I reached out.  I’ve started getting mentoring: (involving zoom chats: Gabby seen by someone else for the first time!) and I joined CDH:  and found so much support and love, and discovered that I wasn’t the only one to feel and doubt and question like I do!

Most importantly of all though, I was honest with my wonderful wife.   It was terrible to start with and the pain I gave her was awful.  For two weeks the atmosphere was ghastly: I wondered if 35 years marriage was to be lost.  But we Are making progress now:  we have talked more than for years (she told me she’d  wondered if I “was a woman in a man’s body” from soon after our wedding but hadn’t wanted to challenge me or herself) and been open and frank.  I think she is worried about loosing what we had:  I’ve tried to persuade her the best chance to keep and develop further on that is to make some room for Gabby.  And today we spoke for hours, laughed and cuddled.  She is accepting, not supporting, it is still painful for her, and I know progress is rarely straight forward.  I fear there will be further downs  days.  The boundaries are strict:  but I sit here tonight, as Gabby with a smile on my face and real hope for the future !

I couldn’t have got here without feeling part of a group: so thank you all!  Why didn’t I do this long ago?

Love,

Gabby xx

[Angela Booth]

Great for you Gabby. You have finally got there and are very realistic about how things will go. I wish you both well.

[Cassie Jayson]

Good for you Gabby. Hope all keeps going well for you and your wife. This an be one of the hardest things for a spouse. Let her know you are still the same person you have always been. You just let her know you need to find out about the woman within you.

. Cassie

[Jess Secret]

That’s wonderful Gabby! I know what it’s like to feel lucky to have a SO who is accepting as well. Hopefully your wife can get to the supportive stage also but baby steps are important.

[Fiona Black]

Gabby,

Just take it slow & keep communicating and you should find yourself in a better place.

[Alice Underwire]

Hi Gabby,

Congratulations on the progress you’re making.  As others have said small steps.  And keep the communication lines open.  Good to set up boundaries/limits to ensure a sense of trust is maintained in your marriage.

Alice

[Anonymous]

Gabby
Fabulous way to go. Yes there will be ups and downs. Remain truthful and respect the limits. Honest open communication is important.
Hugs Ginger

[Chrissy Perry]

I can’t help but think your marriage will become better then ever and your close friendship with your wife will grow and grow. Congratulations – were cheering for you.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by Chrissy Perry.

[Thea]

Thank you so much Chrissy! It’s such early days but we have already talked through a number of issues that we’d just brushed under the carpet (unrelated to Gabby). I really think you might be right! As another wise lady has commented though I have to keep reminding myself: baby steps! Thank you so much for replying,

Hugs Gabby

[Marg Produe]

Hello Gabby,   Perhaps your wife might find some useful information in the group too.  There is a section only for the SO.  It took several years for my wife and me to adjust to our new situation and it was difficult at first.  Have patience.  I wish you both the very best.

Marg

[Lara Muir]

Congratulations Gabby!

Wishing you and your wife the best!

💕Lara

[Stephanie Flowers]

Gabby So glad to hear and yes it takes time and many talks. compromises and agreements will help navigate through these turbulent times. Communications are so important. Hope you and your wife have a wonderful journey ahead.

Stephanie 🌷

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