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Hi to long term CDs,
as I approach my 70th birthday I begin to wonder how much longer I should carry on? As my wrinkles are getting wrinkles of there own, my ankles swell up at the thought of heels (god knows how some of you girls wear them?) and my beauty fades with every photo I take. To cut a long story short…it’s getting harder to keep up with some of the ladies on here.
I have no desire to become a full time woman so crossdressing is only a long time pleasurable passtime.
At what age does a pretty young thing become an old man in a dress…..50, 60, 70—forever?
Answers on a postcard please…..Sally.
Been wondering about dressing as I get older myself because we have recent had to put one of my parents in a nursing home and now strongly considering the other one also as we can not be there to take care of them 24/7. Any how, been thinking about happens IF i ever have to go in one, i.e. my heels, my hose, my dresses, my makeup, my wigs, and on. Will they let me dress, should i dress, etc, while in there, I have NO answers, just thinking,
of course as i get older i will not be able to wear those short sexy dresses as i am not able to pull off 100% passable now, I am sure I won’t as age sets in either. Also walking in 5 inch heels will probably take more of a toll on my feet and back with the onset of age.
and thinking, as i get older and the increase of more medical issues or say medical emergencies possible, maybe it is just me but since no one really knows about me dressing I would have to be able to accept the fact that IF something happens while dressed being able to face the fact that now I would be out whether I am ready to come out or not.
there is no right or wrong answer here, just things we think of as life goes on.
Jennifer
I would bet it does not stop.
Wear flats, they are super sexy and fun to wear, to mention comfortable! 🙂
Dress more “age appropriate”, not that you do not already. I actually hate that term and or suggestion, but just trying to help!Can you use makeup? I have to think of these things as time goes on!
Love and hugs,
RHi Sally,
… and my beauty fades with every photo I take …
Stop taking photos, they’re sucking the life out of you 😉
Marti xxx
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I don’t think it stops but just evolves into mature lady clothing styles. With me it seems to get stronger as I age no matter how ugly I become. I take solace in knowing there are mature women my age and older who still look just fine even with the ravages of time. It just takes more work and we should try to age gracefully. I figure it may stop when I become handicapped but pretty sure I’ll still be wearing a bra along with my Depends.
Hi Sally, just think of our queen, she still looks fabulous at 95! Be happy with your pesky wrinkles and don’t beat yourself up. You need to make yourself happy, forget about everyone else. There is no time limit for feeling great, and don’t give up on the photos. I worked out that I’ll be 65 by the time I get the house to myself and am able to dress as and when I wish. Sometimes I’ll dress like a young woman, but to go out I’ll definitely be taking a leaf out of the fashion wardrobe of Amanda Lamb. I think she is fab 🙂 xxx Mika
Oh Sally you always look wonderful. Women these days have so many products to make themselves appear younger and stay looking good. We can benefit from them as well. Under the facade could be all sorts of wrinkles, blemishes and aches and pains but if you look good and feel good then you’re doing fine.
I saw a crossdressed lady out in her wheelchair with a carer on hand and the lady looked wonderful, although she was past 70. So just enjoy every moment and worry about things as they happen, not if.
Sally,Don’t worry what others think, how does dressing make you feel. Dress how ever you want in your private time ( do what makes you happy). When you go out you might want to tone it down to be more ‘passable’ so as to not to attract to much negative attention.
I know for me dressing for myself at home is no longer enough. I am about 3 steps away from presenting as female 24/7, and I am 67.All the best to you and good luck.
CassieSALLY,
You become an old man in a dress when you stop being a happy women in a dress. Most of us feel that dressing helps us fight “father time”, keeping us more health and beauty conscience along the way.
I am going to reach the same milestone in late summer, so you are preachin’ to the choir. Most of us never were the beautiful girls we wanted to be, EVER, most of us pass only because people are too nice or too confused to figure it out. The 3 or 4 months I’ve been here at CDH have given me the courage to explore the boundaries of this phenomenon.
Like all things it will come to and end but I hope I can fight it. I have spent too many years busting my ass as my “he”to give up on the few peaceful years I have left as my “she”……Never give up, Luv, TERI
Sally, a lot of great comments so I cannot add a lot of different thoughts. I just know that cis women age as well, get wrinkles, lose flexibility, in other words the same as us. If embracing your femme self still gives you that satisfaction that all us CD’s know so well, keep doing it and just age with the rest of us.
Hi Sally.
First thing coming to my mind is why would you want to “keep on” with anybody at all? Crossdressing is not a competition sport. Sure, we all try to look our best, but please do yourself a favor and forget about how the others may look. We all have different situations in life, we all “pay a price” so to speak.
Very few can have it all. Being able to feel content about who you are is the most important thing.
You are well liked! Many wish they owned 1/10 of the dresses you wear in your photos.Like these years mantra goes… “you do you”, and be happy! 🙂
There is interesting research that shows as we age, men and women lose their distinctive gender facial traits. And its actually easier for a male to pass as a female, and female to be mistaken as a man. (Hair and makeup is often the tell.)
When I was younger I used to hitchhike around Australia with a swag. Or sleep in the back of the ute. Now days the ground is too far away to get down to. And the ute back too high to climb.
As I grow older there is much I can’t do that I once could. Things take much longer to do.
I no longer compete against the young whippersnappers. Though often by pacing myself I can outperform their daily output.
I don’t know if there is a link between cross dressing and lbtg issues of aging.
Relationships within that community often become unstable as years go on. Older men seek younger partners and do their best to remain young looking. There is often a age disparity between partners. And not a lot of commitment into old age.
Anyways I digress. I found your post having similar points within that communual setting.
One thing we all do as we grow older is reflect more on how we lived our lives. At your age, by now many have come to accept what was, and is, is what it is, and have discarded regrets. Others face guilt, shame, regrets and don’t know how to reconcile it. Believing they have wasted all those years.
Perhaps consciously or subconsciously your thinking you have become a foolish old man. (I’m not saying you are. Please forgive if I’m stepping on toes. Because I do say “perhaps.”) If that is so, your not on your own. Its extremely common for people tranisitioning into the senior years. Only you, and perhaps the help of a counselor can work through those issues.
Hi Sally,Michelle here.Sally I am also 73,that is ,I admit to 50,hahaha,and Sally, I dress and go out more now than when both of us were younger.I have no reason to stop now and I am happy when dressed so why stop.If the Queen can be the perfect lady at 95 ,there is plenty enough time for me to keep dressing.Hugs Michelle.
Sally,
I had the same thoughts as Gabriella, that this is not a competition, and certainly not a beauty (or womenless) competition. All that matters is that you enjoy it.
Most of the time I am out, it is on a walk or on errands, in which case heels never were practical. I have the beginnings of arthritis in my left knee and some tendonitis on my right ankle. So I’m usually out in sneakers or flats. I actually find it easier to drive long distances in heels because it changes the angle of my leg which helps reduce the sciatica. So if I’m going out, but not walking or standing too much, I’ll wear heels, and more often in chunky heels or wedges. But that is definitely less frequent these days.
As long as you are getting enjoyment from it, that’s all that matters. Because you left out one important point about getting old: You case less about what other people think!
There was a cute couple at the Keystone Conference where the spouse was introducing both of them to the workshop. Her CD husband just turned 90!!! We all clapped and cheered. She didn’t look 90, but was tasefully dressed, a little make up, and wore her own silver androgenous haircut (short). I was so jealous, b/c she had more natural hair than I did when I was 50.
So, it’s mind over matter – if you don’t mind it doesn’t matter!
Hugs,
Brie
I’ll be 70 on my next birthday and I’ve been thinking that at some point I won’t be able to keep it up (no pun intended) but until then I’m still carrying on.
Hi, Sally, well, to answer your question directly, it’s something that will be different for each person. Keep your eyes open and look around you and see what others are wearing, are doing. And most of all keep doing what you want to be doing.
If I recall, I think there was a time when some people went around mentally telling (or vocally telling their friends) that someone they knew should dress their age. I think for the most part, that time is coming to an end. Oh, people will still do it, but I’m guessing more and more will say in reply, Hey, you do what you want, and let that person do what they want.
As I’ve always felt, as long as you’re not hurting yourself, and hopefully not overtly hurting others, you should be free to do whatever you want for as long as you want. (and by ‘overtly…” I mean for those you don’t know or don’t care about, just don’t physically hurt them, for those you do, try to work out understandings if you can so you both can live with both your choices.)
What I’ve never understood is one of a couple saying in effect, hey, ‘I’m going to do whatever I please…but you have to toe the line.’ That is not a good relationship.
Hugs, ChloeC
I too am very near 70 but as others have said I dress more now than ever before. Nearly 24/7 with forays in drab limited to necessity. I dress age appropriate since I could never carry off sexy. I enjoy looking like a grandma and I am accepted as such. As was mentioned in other comments, as you age the difference in appearance between the sexes dwindles and looking feminine becomes easier. It has a lot to do with natural hormone levels, decreasing testosterone for men and estrogen for women brings both towards a middle point. Light makeup is all that is needed along with hair, either wig or real, to maintain a properly feminine appearance.
The comment about nursing homes is one I have thought of before. I think it will be allowed as their philosophy is to allow you to be comfortable. No public facility allows indoor smoking but nursing homes have smoking lounges for the residents. They of course smell horrible but it is a concession to residents comfort. They also allow beer or other alcohols, in moderation, for residents. These allowances lead me to believe that cross dressing would be accepted as a comfort to the resident.
Getting older sucks but it does have its moments. I can now dress the way that makes me happy and the heck with nay sayers.
❤
Beth
Hi Sally, no cure for age as we know, or bias against crossdressers. Dress for you. Clothing can cover age, scarves, can help around the neck, etc. Beyond that runs dry. Simplicity helps in dress, maybe give that a go.
Best Wishes
JaneI would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me to get older. On the positive side, a GG friend observed that women and men tend toward a common appearance as they age…women lose estrogen, men the dreaded testosterone. So maybe it gets a little easier to blend in as a woman with each passing year…pun intended.
My thoughts are as follows. I spent a good bit of 40 years hiding or half assed being who I want to be. Why should I stop because of age? Real women continue to dress and often wear makeup etc as they age so why would we stop due to age? I wish I had started with makeup etc when I was younger and thinner.
I learned long ago that age is nothing more than a number that the government uses to keep track of you. If you come to terms with the fact that you are getting old, guess what, you won’t be disappointed.
By the numbers, I am 71 but I don’t feel it nor do I look it. In my own mind, I am only 28. My supporting wife keeps telling me I need to dress my age and I reply that I am 28. I still can wear 6″ heels although not all day as I used to. I still go out clubbing in a mini skirt. I tend to use the latest makeup styles.
I have been well out of the closet for over 25 years and since that time I have always taken the time to look after my face. I have a daily routine of exfoliating and moisturizing and I truly believe that it has worked. Even my male friends have told me I look pretty good for my age. A few of my female friends have told me I look closer to 45-50 than 71. I usually say that they are being too kind but they say they hope that they age as well as I have. To that end, I will never concede to getting old.
I think that as long as I can do my own makeup wear a garter belt and fully fashioned stockings and 3-4 inch heels I am never going to get old. As it is just a state of mind I don’t have to worry about age being a drag.
Michelle J. Renee
Hi Sally (love the name btw);-)
So yes I have this discussion with myself quite often, I still worship the sun and never had a care or thought about my face aging until I actually started dressing last year.
Now every time I dress and do makeup I wish I had taken better care and would pay to reduce the effects of aging.
As far as whether to continue…all I know is that every single time no matter how bad the makeup job, once I put on the wig and see Sally in the mirror I am just happier and much more carefree.
I am not sure stopping is even an option at this point as it has become almost a daily thing for me. I do wear at least one thing feminine daily and as I live alone now I usually lounge around in ladies attire and a wig.
I am questioning why I am doing this and especially why so often, I really want to go out in public more and really wish I could pass but that seems so unrealistic … I will just take the second looks and snickers, it just feels good to be dressed and in the Sally persona regardless 🙂 cannot see it ending anytime soon…
Sally,
You look amazing!!!
You have style, class and are a roll model for those in my age group (50-59)
Please keep dressing, have fun and be gorgeous.Caroline
Hi Sally! Getting old – older – is just a by product of having lived a long time. And thats a good thing. It does not mean we need to stop living our lives, or stop being happy with ourselves. Nor do we have to compare ourselves to others…. there is no need to ” keep up with the Jones’s “. That is a dark road best not taken.
“At what age does a pretty young thing become an old man in a dress?”
Why not – At what age does a pretty young thing become a pretty older thing??
Your beauty and the joy of living your life as you want does not end at a certain age, it ends at your funeral. No sooner.
Stevie
Age is only a number, that’s what I have been told and do believe that. It’s certainly problematic but for me its how I’m feeling inside. Keeping the body in place is certainly hard especially when nature has its own ways. Keeping our femininity thoughts pure will always keep our true feelings to how we feel no matter when life’s tells us different. 🌷
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