- December 4, 2020 at 3:46 am #414002Sally DrinkwaterParticipantRegistered On: July 15, 2019Topics: 17Replies: 249Has thanked: 56 timesBeen thanked: 908 times
Just read another topic about about LGBTQABC etc. I can’t remember ever seeing Cross Dressing amongst the alphabet soup.
What letter fits you and why?
- December 6, 2020 at 1:06 pm #415012DeeAnn HopingsDuchessRegistered On: November 10, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 748Has thanked: 9 timesBeen thanked: 1972 times
I identify as transgender, non-binary, lesbian. If asked, this is how I respond these days. 6 words is much simpler than close to 30. These are the ones that match how I feel and how I see and define myself. To me it is appropriate and I have no problem with it. Other terms either do not fit or don’t fit close enough, so they are not part of my definition. The thing is, EVERYONE has a definitions associated with their being. To not claim those would seem to be more of an issue than doing so. If you don’t claim who you are, then who are you?
1 user thanked author for this post.
- December 6, 2020 at 11:47 am #414976Jennifer HeelsLadyRegistered On: December 11, 2019Topics: 15Replies: 113Has thanked: 799 timesBeen thanked: 504 times
We seem to be the ONLY group that is unaccepted by society as though what we do is taboo. While other groups are coming out (so to speak) and society is slowly excepting them (some people are still having a hard time accepting them), we on the other hand are still considered not acceptable. As long as society views us as sissy’s, perverts, and every other disgusting term you can apply, we are forced to live in hiding and in fear of someone finding us out. We’ve seen it all to often how CDs are treated when they are out in public by society at large, ie the physics violence, the verbal assults, etc. NOT to mention the personal humiliation and lost of family and friends who don’t understand us. One day this will all change but for most of us not in our lifetime.
- December 6, 2020 at 8:11 am #414886Sharon WiltshireLadyRegistered On: July 27, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 80Has thanked: 770 timesBeen thanked: 464 times
- December 6, 2020 at 5:13 am #414831Trisha SmithDuchessRegistered On: August 24, 2020Topics: 5Replies: 64Has thanked: 45 timesBeen thanked: 271 times
You want a label. How about superhero’s. Thats what we are anyhow. Think about it. We are male bread winners by day and sassy femme fatales by night. On the weekends we go among the gen pop with confidence beauty most woman hope for.
Yea. Thats my label. Super heroin
- December 5, 2020 at 3:18 pm #414623Rachel McFaddenLadyRegistered On: November 13, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 60Has thanked: 111 timesBeen thanked: 368 times
If those were my only options (and based on my limited understanding of the nuances of some of the labels) I would have to be pick trans. For the whole of my life, I’ve always been drawn to feminine things, to act in a feminine way and, when dressed, to be seen and treated as a woman – like many here, if I could snap my fingers and be immediately changed into a woman and be accepted fully, I would.
However, life is not like that, any attempt to change my gender from that assigned to me at birth is fraught with difficulty and risk and this sets up a ‘cost/benefit’ situation where increasing my level of satisfaction at who I am comes with increasing costs and hardships. Right now, being a cross-dresser sates some of my need to be a woman, it’s not a risk or cost free way of living but at least for now, the comparatively brief periods I can be ‘Rachel’ for help me and the potential downsides are small.
I know though, that in the long run these brief moments won’t be enough for me and that I will want have longer periods as Rachel and perhaps go back to living as her for significant stretches – at that point, there will be a potential cost, my wife and family will have to be told. Maybe they will accept this, maybe they wont; I can’t say right now but, suppose that change takes me to a ‘happy medium’, where my feminine desires are sufficiently expressed for me and at a level where my wife and family are OK with it, what am I at that point?
Is there a category of long term crossdresser? Can you be transgender and never reach the point of actually wanting to transition as the overall costs are too high? The usual response I hear is, ‘well, it’s more of a spectrum’, which actually seems to be a good answer as we’re definitely all subtly different but, if there really is a spectrum of gender/sexuality/mannerism/preference/etc., do discrete categories and labels make any sense anymore?
- December 6, 2020 at 2:52 am #414809Sally DrinkwaterDuchessRegistered On: July 15, 2019Topics: 17Replies: 249Has thanked: 56 timesBeen thanked: 908 times
“I would have to be pick trans!” Trans covers a wide range, Transitioning, Transexual, Transvestite? None of which in my not so humble opinion remotely desribes me.
” if I could snap my fingers and be immediately changed into a woman and be accepted fully, I would.” So would I as long as I could double snap and change back again.
I would consider myself as a Casual Cross Dresser (CCD?) and I am perfectly happy as a man or a woman, you might say having the best of both worlds.
CCD it is then…..Sally x x
- December 5, 2020 at 8:59 am #414498Mary FrancisDuchessRegistered On: April 29, 2016Topics: 1Replies: 22Has thanked: 2 timesBeen thanked: 95 times
Being able to describe who you are gives you agency, a place, in society. In order to describe who we are we need the vocabulary to do so. We often times struggle to find the correct vocabulary and that struggle is often times difficult, but it is worth the effort. Because without agency in society we find ourselves locked away in our closets unable to walk safely and confidently within our society. With agency we have the tools to create the the societal infrastructure that allows us a safe place in which to live our lives. Therefore without the accurate vocabulary to describe ourselves we simply disappear.
A great book on the subject is: ” Trans Like Me by C N Lester
- December 5, 2020 at 8:12 am #414491Patty PhoseDuchessRegistered On: May 7, 2016Topics: 0Replies: 1507Has thanked: 1100 timesBeen thanked: 3887 times
I don’t know where us CD’s fit into that alphabet either. I don’t even give it much thought. I used to be a transvestite. I haven’t been referred by that in a long time. So maybe we can just add some letters and fit ourselves in.
- December 5, 2020 at 7:31 am #414479rebekka mooreLadyRegistered On: January 7, 2017Topics: 77Replies: 872Has thanked: 438 timesBeen thanked: 1743 times
You are right and i think this is a problem. We (crossdressers) in my honest opinion are “classified” under a less than desirable category. I think most believe we are some how perverted, and represent a less than desirable side of identity.
This is not true of course. Quite the opposite. This is especially true for those of us who are older. Those things that I have found geared towards supporting CD’s tends to be directed towards people of a much younger age. That is fine, they need the support but someday they will be in our shoes and find themselves in this classification.
I don’t know why that is but would like to change it.
Certainly however, CDH is wonderful about this. It is the one avenue we have.
Love and Hugs,
- December 5, 2020 at 5:53 am #414451Rachel LeanneLadyRegistered On: August 26, 2020Topics: 4Replies: 13Has thanked: 190 timesBeen thanked: 156 times
Lables is just a means ththat society forces us tto give it a power over us. Does a bear need to call itself a bear? Or a Bunny call itself a Bunny? It just is. And I would Wager that it would not care if you call it a Bunny, a rabbit, a hare, a thumper. It just wants you to accept that it is alive and leave it alone. Don’t kill it. Don’t cage it. Don’t eat it. Just let it be itself and go about it’s way unmolested and live it’s life. I just want to be known as a very caring, cool, sweet, romantic, loving person whom goes that extra mile for my friends and family. What has compassion for other people. Try to be polite and nice to those I come in contact with and the only lable I consider myself is genuine. Because reguardless if I’m in a dress or a pair of cover all’s and a hard hat, I still have the same heart and am still the same person. I’m just cuter in the dress. 😂💞
- December 5, 2020 at 5:15 am #414441Bridgette VonSmirffLadyRegistered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 13Replies: 221Has thanked: 4332 timesBeen thanked: 1020 times
I consider myself to be trans, and non- binary (although gender fluid might also be accurate). Most of the time I’m a cis-het-male. I am married and very faithful to my wife at all times. When I dress, I’m still married, and still faithful. And still only look at women. At that point, I consider myself a woman, perhaps a lesbian. I dunno. It should be all about how you see yourself, not which label you think others see you as. If you don’t like labels, don’t use one, then you’re just you. If you feel having a label helps you to sort yourself to yourself, then that’s fine too. Most of us here are easy enough to get along with and won’t care about the labels on your luggage.
- December 5, 2020 at 4:38 am #414426Meghan MLadyRegistered On: September 23, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 28Has thanked: 65 timesBeen thanked: 97 times
- December 5, 2020 at 3:18 am #414409Regine RichPrincessRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 20Replies: 534Has thanked: 5618 timesBeen thanked: 2326 times
I,too dont believe in labels. trying to fit myself into a square hole doesnt work, as I change with each variant of the winds of life. As circumstances change, so must we, and the ability to do so is all that matters.
So,if I need a letter, I would have to say H and C, for happy and content
- December 5, 2020 at 2:41 am #414404Simone CLadyRegistered On: January 23, 2019Topics: 7Replies: 134Has thanked: 53 timesBeen thanked: 466 times
Re-posting an earlier comment which I hope helps, like manyI think the alphabet soup is a bit confusing and silly in the end. We are who we are and respect each other for it.
I’ve read a lot and thought a lot about this topic, and come to the conclusion that I (and many others when I read above) fit the category of “dual-role transvestite”. This is someone (of either gender) who dresses temporarily in the clothing of the opposite gender to experience what it is like to be or to take the role of the opposite gender. There is no desire for reassignment treatment, and it is not a fetish for clothing as such.
Actually it used to be more women doing this because male-dominated society didn’t allow intelligent women into certain places and roles, so they dressed and behaved as men to experience it without prejudices. There is plenty of literature of women dressing as men for that reason, and I am sure many of them shared our fears of how society, family and their SO would react if they had been found out. There were happily also notable cases of the SO or male friends supporting them, recognising the hypocrisy of society then, and science and literature are better for it. There were of course some for whom it was sexual, many though simply recognised they could not experience or achieve something without temporarily presenting as male. Of course, women have the advantage here that it is easier as a woman to pass as a rather small, fresh faced man than it is for a large, athletic male to pass as a demure, svelte woman. I also think society then and now is more forgiving of women presenting as men (no one reacts to women in jeans, try wearing a skirt as a man though!)
The real dilemma for me in the past was how to align this with the obvious thrill of wearing soft, sexy clothes. Surely that is a fetish? It was when I was talking though to a GG friend it fell into place. She said “I LOVE wearing something sexy, you think we buy all that lace and lingerie for men only? I get SUCH A BUZZ walking around knowing that underneath my plain business suit is a super hot set of lingerie. Wow! And at night that long slinky nightgown isn’t only for seduction, it feels good!”
That nailed it for me, for those of us who want to experience being a woman sometimes OF COURSE getting that buzz from sexy lingerie is part of the whole thing. And yes, that is what I want. How does it feel to be a GG, sometimes in loose weekend clothes, sometimes in more sexy dress. I am being a woman, not fantasising about lingerie as such. When I am Simone I take on a feminine persona as much as I can, to experience as much as I can what that means.
This has had some really great moments, being out and a woman admiring my dress. Yes, and I do say a woman, as she clearly saw me as a fellow woman at the time. It was an appreciative comment, woman to woman, which felt great.
I’ve also experienced the downside of aggressive men trying to come on to the woman I was at the time and not taking the “no!”. The anger and fear I felt as a woman at that moment was real. It was not a fear of being outed, so what if I were? In some ways fun to see the idiot’s reaction to finding he was trying to hit onto a MAN! No, it was the fear that as a woman I was both at a disadvantage culturally, and that somehow this idiot thought it was OK to leer at my boobs and make lewd suggestions.
Being in my two alternative genders lets me get a real understanding and respect for BOTH genders and the pluses and minuses of each.
I have no desire to change permanently (I quite like my alternative), just wish I could alter the body shape as easily as I slip into the mental state of Simone. Damn, and figure out how to get the make-up right!!
Best wishes to all of you across the spectrum, where you are is yours, I’ve found mine.
- December 4, 2020 at 9:50 pm #414346Stephanie HayesLadyRegistered On: December 14, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 64Has thanked: 54 timesBeen thanked: 152 times
LOL. Let them alphabet people have they words. I am a straight CIS male who likes to dress is the clothes of a woman from time to time. nothing wrong with that.
- December 4, 2020 at 7:54 pm #414321Araminta PurdyLadyRegistered On: January 23, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 245Has thanked: 332 timesBeen thanked: 835 times
LBGT then LGBTQ goes back to the ancient days, (10-years?) when ‘transgender’ meant what it says, to transit between genders. Specifically cross-dressers were the sort of persons who were gender variant, although I have never seen anyone use quite that term or even fully acknowledge the difference. There was more concentration, for some reason, on the gender nonvariant and the term, transgender, quickly was subsumed to a more restricted meaning than was initially intended. Thus, the ‘T’ (transgender) initially meant cross-dressers as well.
But we do not have a very strong lobby and receive little (and generally sub rosa) attention.
- December 4, 2020 at 7:33 pm #414316AoifeLadyRegistered On: October 11, 2018Topics: 65Replies: 317Has thanked: 810 timesBeen thanked: 1124 times
- December 4, 2020 at 7:19 pm #414313Robyn DrakeDuchessRegistered On: March 19, 2019Topics: 49Replies: 113Has thanked: 98 timesBeen thanked: 395 times
- December 4, 2020 at 6:06 pm #414287Maria PinkDuchessRegistered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 91Has thanked: 166 timesBeen thanked: 362 times
I try not to worry about labels as they change daily to fit someone’s ideas of what they think. The alphabet soup just keeps growing to encompass everyone in every shape or form. Personally, I agree with a lot of girls here that like labels and I don’t always fit into the box someone else tries to put me in… so I will just be me.
- December 4, 2020 at 4:52 pm #414261Jessica WildeLadyRegistered On: October 5, 2020Topics: 32Replies: 127Has thanked: 188 timesBeen thanked: 1049 times
Two letters fit me. C and D because that’s what I am.
I’m not trying to fit into the lgbtpqrs group because quite frankly I’m not any of those things. I’m me ,just plain ol’ me (well I guess I’m not plain by a long shot but you know what I mean).
I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out where I fit in. I don’t really fit in anywhere. I’m a unique individual much like all of you here. So I guess here is where I fit in best.
- December 4, 2020 at 2:47 pm #414222Laura LovettLadyRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 12Replies: 757Has thanked: 2425 timesBeen thanked: 3722 times
The universe finds its own shape and grows all the time.
Animals don’t ask where they fit in or belong, they just do.
Is there a benefit to fitting in, or categorizing yourself?
If so, do it!
If not, don’t sweat it – tell the world to fit around you – there’s enough space.
- December 4, 2020 at 1:17 pm #414184Peggy Sue WilliamsBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: June 26, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 238Has thanked: 886 timesBeen thanked: 999 times
Whew! This topic made for some heated discussions in the support group which my wife and I used to be members of here in Atlanta.
Good Question! And maybe one only each of us as individuals can answer and share, if we want to.
So, I am a guy, a man who enjoys sometimes getting very dolled up pretty and presenting myself out in public as a woman. Since I am heterosexual and faithful to my wife, I do not attempt to attract anyone for sexual purposes. I do enjoy speaking with women in public about female fashions, make up, female styles, etc. Also, I often explain to men and women what being a CD means and what it is.
What’s my label? Where do I fit in? Don’t know, I’ve never really been too concerned about it. Most of the time I am a guy. Sometimes people will add things up, “aren’t you in here sometimes as a woman”? Yes, that’s me, I am a CD. Some men play golf, I play girl.
- December 4, 2020 at 12:50 pm #414176AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 19Replies: 701Has thanked: 8063 timesBeen thanked: 3829 times
I have given a lot of thought lately to labels. We are people, not labels. Hearing certain labels causes some people to behave poorly to others. I want us to be people with feelings and needs like very one else. Just my 2 cents.
- December 4, 2020 at 11:41 am #414149Robyn DevineDuchessRegistered On: October 24, 2020Topics: 13Replies: 517Has thanked: 1618 timesBeen thanked: 2228 times
If forced to pick it would be Trans. But then I’ve never been a fan of labels. I am certainly a CD, and recently I can say I lean more to the term of Gender Fluid because I love both my Man side and my Woman side. They both share the same heart and brain, but being a CD allows me creativity and expression that my male side cannot attain.
XO – Robyn 🤗❤️
- December 4, 2020 at 11:16 am #414137Mika MaloneDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: November 11, 2020Topics: 26Replies: 557Has thanked: 1683 timesBeen thanked: 2197 times
It’s just my opinion, but I feel like Crossdressing falls into the transgender spectrum. I always believed I was part girl long before I wanted to crossdress. I used to say I was 14% girl. I realized that, at times, I felt it was even more so. Now that I have embraced that side of me, I can be a whole lot more of a girl than ever. I still do a lot of very manly things in drab and Mika is still always a part of me even then. So, just recently, I took on the relatively new label of gender fluid because of how extreme I can take things either way. We’re all different and we all view ourselves in our own way.
- December 4, 2020 at 11:14 am #414136
- December 4, 2020 at 11:04 am #414133Bobbi SueRegistered On: September 15, 2020Topics: 13Replies: 114Has thanked: 142 timesBeen thanked: 724 times
My short answer? Trans.
I agree with others that CD is part of the trans spectrum. If it was truly just about wearing dresses we wouldn’t be donning makeup and wigs.)
I think some separate them because CD is considered a fetish. Once aroused and done, the clothes are removed. Trans isn’t about sex. It’s about gender.
- December 4, 2020 at 11:11 pm #414369Laura LovettLadyRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 12Replies: 757Has thanked: 2425 timesBeen thanked: 3722 times
It is about the clothes – the wig and makeup come when you decide to go out in your dress, and realise that you need to blend in more.
When you add the wig and makeup, you may realise that there is more to your desire to wear a dress than you first thought – or you may not.
Plenty of CDs don’t discover a feminine side, or feel a need to transition.
We’re all different, what we have in common on this site is a desire to wear clothing designed for women – specifically clothing designed during the last century or so – a tiny fraction of human existence.
These clothes are very appealing in many ways, hence many have a sexual angle, many don’t.
I have seen men just wearing dresses – no wig or makeup, and no attempt to lose the beard.
Clothes are self expression and part of self discovery – which is quite funny, in an ironic way.
- December 4, 2020 at 7:51 pm #414320Mika MaloneDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: November 11, 2020Topics: 26Replies: 557Has thanked: 1683 timesBeen thanked: 2197 times
Bobbi Sue, that’s an excellent point. When I first started underdressing ten years ago, I admit that if was a bit of a fetish. And long before that, heels were a bit of a fetish. It didn’t take very long at all for the underdressing to no longer be a fetish and simply be what made me comfortable. Now that I am buying and wearing heels of my own, there hasn’t been any fetish tendencies. Since I have taken the dive into the deep end, it’s simply what I like to wear and it’s just plain fun.
- December 4, 2020 at 11:37 am #414148Bettylou CoxDuchessRegistered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 17Replies: 1703Has thanked: 3031 timesBeen thanked: 5710 times
Some wit once remarked that the difference between CD and TG was “about 5 years”. And for some, CD is just the beginning of the the path to full transitioning; for others, it’s the final destination. That would place CD at the starting point of the LGBTQ spectrum. Now, can someone explain why all CDs are considered gay, when it’s about gender and not sex?
- December 5, 2020 at 6:02 am #414453PY MarshallDuchessRegistered On: July 21, 2018Topics: 1Replies: 287Has thanked: 1212 timesBeen thanked: 840 times
Bettylou, I don’t even think if einstein was alive he could answer that one, but he would have a theory .over 20,000 members here and we are all different. Sometimes i label myself and sometimes i’m just me and me changes everyday but i am still me. Pyxx.
- December 5, 2020 at 5:39 am #414447Stephanie FlowersAmbassadorRegistered On: June 26, 2017Topics: 25Replies: 4659Has thanked: 7847 timesBeen thanked: 7902 times
- December 4, 2020 at 1:12 pm #414183
- December 4, 2020 at 12:05 pm #414167
- December 4, 2020 at 11:03 am #414132Grace ScarlettBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: July 26, 2020Topics: 50Replies: 1431Has thanked: 6674 timesBeen thanked: 7934 times
The damage I can do when I see a sale rail or a bargain makes me think of quite a famous set of initials….
G.C.H.Q which we all know means..
Grace Creates Havoc Quickly….
and also, to the letter of the law, I’m very rarely angry…..so I’m not really a cross dresser……
grace is a happy dresser. (H.D)
Smiles, grace ❤️……(S.G.)
- December 4, 2020 at 12:39 pm #414173
- December 4, 2020 at 8:53 am #414092Dawn WyvernChat CrewRegistered On: February 23, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 210Has thanked: 177 timesBeen thanked: 854 times
In the international classifications by the WHO and many other bodies, CD is part of the transgender umbrella term (TG) – however in the US for some reason the term transgender tends to be used for those who are transitioning, while other countries use the term TG as its intended.
The whole alphabet soup of letters is truly confusing as we are all unique, so can designate our own terminology for self identification. In a recent questionnaire from an education authority in the south of the UK no less than 27 gender identifications were included, and also had a section for ‘other’ …
Hope that helps
- December 4, 2020 at 7:07 am #414062Paula FDuchessRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 12Replies: 816Has thanked: 6248 timesBeen thanked: 3173 times
I think, for now anyway, until I am cleared by all the doctors, I need to add ‘TWT’ to the mix, Transgender Without Transitioning. Maybe the L could be for Limbo, since I am stuck for a little more time yet before I can resume where I was going.
LGBTQ= Looking Good, Being True Quality.
- December 5, 2020 at 12:12 pm #414555Kathleen 60454LadyRegistered On: January 8, 2020Topics: 26Replies: 252Has thanked: 1621 timesBeen thanked: 849 times
“I need to add ‘TWT’ to the mix, Transgender Without Transitioning.”
When I started crossdressing I always referred to myself as a “Transvestite”. Then several years ago I started to call myself as a crossdresser, but I like Paula’s term of “TWT Transgender without Transitioning”, because that is what I am.
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by Kathleen 60454.
1 user thanked author for this post.
- December 4, 2020 at 5:55 am #414031Celeste StarreLadyRegistered On: June 26, 2018Topics: 31Replies: 729Has thanked: 206 timesBeen thanked: 2205 times
- December 4, 2020 at 5:29 am #414026Rachel CrossDuchessRegistered On: October 13, 2020Topics: 22Replies: 192Has thanked: 1153 timesBeen thanked: 1098 times
c an d. they seam to go together fine. (CD) also r and c (Rachel Cross) and wtf (wednesday, thursday and friday) then i know its the weekend and time to have some fun. byob (baby your officially beautiful) stop (sexy tranny on parade) LGBTQ (LET GURLS BE TRANNY QUEENS)
- December 4, 2020 at 5:15 am #414024
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.