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c an d. they seam to go together fine. (CD) also r and c (Rachel Cross) and wtf (wednesday, thursday and friday) then i know its the weekend and time to have some fun. byob (baby your officially beautiful) stop (sexy tranny on parade) LGBTQ (LET GURLS BE TRANNY QUEENS)
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I think, for now anyway, until I am cleared by all the doctors, I need to add ‘TWT’ to the mix, Transgender Without Transitioning. Maybe the L could be for Limbo, since I am stuck for a little more time yet before I can resume where I was going.
LGBTQ= Looking Good, Being True Quality.
PaulaF
“I need to add ‘TWT’ to the mix, Transgender Without Transitioning.”
When I started crossdressing I always referred to myself as a “Transvestite”. Then several years ago I started to call myself as a crossdresser, but I like Paula’s term of “TWT Transgender without Transitioning”, because that is what I am.
Kathleen
In the international classifications by the WHO and many other bodies, CD is part of the transgender umbrella term (TG) – however in the US for some reason the term transgender tends to be used for those who are transitioning, while other countries use the term TG as its intended.
The whole alphabet soup of letters is truly confusing as we are all unique, so can designate our own terminology for self identification. In a recent questionnaire from an education authority in the south of the UK no less than 27 gender identifications were included, and also had a section for ‘other’ …
Hope that helps
Dawn
Hi Sally
The damage I can do when I see a sale rail or a bargain makes me think of quite a famous set of initials….
G.C.H.Q which we all know means..
Grace Creates Havoc Quickly….
and also, to the letter of the law, I’m very rarely angry…..so I’m not really a cross dresser……
grace is a happy dresser. (H.D)
Smiles, grace ❤️……(S.G.)
My short answer? Trans.
I agree with others that CD is part of the trans spectrum. If it was truly just about wearing dresses we wouldn’t be donning makeup and wigs.)
I think some separate them because CD is considered a fetish. Once aroused and done, the clothes are removed. Trans isn’t about sex. It’s about gender.Some wit once remarked that the difference between CD and TG was “about 5 years”. And for some, CD is just the beginning of the the path to full transitioning; for others, it’s the final destination. That would place CD at the starting point of the LGBTQ spectrum. Now, can someone explain why all CDs are considered gay, when it’s about gender and not sex?
Bettylou
ADDENDUM: As for myself, I’m a Trans girl, or as Paula wrote, TWT.
Bobbi Sue, that’s an excellent point. When I first started underdressing ten years ago, I admit that if was a bit of a fetish. And long before that, heels were a bit of a fetish. It didn’t take very long at all for the underdressing to no longer be a fetish and simply be what made me comfortable. Now that I am buying and wearing heels of my own, there hasn’t been any fetish tendencies. Since I have taken the dive into the deep end, it’s simply what I like to wear and it’s just plain fun.
It is about the clothes – the wig and makeup come when you decide to go out in your dress, and realise that you need to blend in more.
When you add the wig and makeup, you may realise that there is more to your desire to wear a dress than you first thought – or you may not.
Plenty of CDs don’t discover a feminine side, or feel a need to transition.
We’re all different, what we have in common on this site is a desire to wear clothing designed for women – specifically clothing designed during the last century or so – a tiny fraction of human existence.
These clothes are very appealing in many ways, hence many have a sexual angle, many don’t.
I have seen men just wearing dresses – no wig or makeup, and no attempt to lose the beard.
Clothes are self expression and part of self discovery – which is quite funny, in an ironic way.
Love Laura
Happy being Trans.
It’s just my opinion, but I feel like Crossdressing falls into the transgender spectrum. I always believed I was part girl long before I wanted to crossdress. I used to say I was 14% girl. I realized that, at times, I felt it was even more so. Now that I have embraced that side of me, I can be a whole lot more of a girl than ever. I still do a lot of very manly things in drab and Mika is still always a part of me even then. So, just recently, I took on the relatively new label of gender fluid because of how extreme I can take things either way. We’re all different and we all view ourselves in our own way.
Sally
If forced to pick it would be Trans. But then I’ve never been a fan of labels. I am certainly a CD, and recently I can say I lean more to the term of Gender Fluid because I love both my Man side and my Woman side. They both share the same heart and brain, but being a CD allows me creativity and expression that my male side cannot attain.
XO – Robyn 🤗❤️
I have given a lot of thought lately to labels. We are people, not labels. Hearing certain labels causes some people to behave poorly to others. I want us to be people with feelings and needs like very one else. Just my 2 cents.
Kay
Kay…your 2 cents makes perfect sense….as labels rears its ugly head again….grace ❤️
Whew! This topic made for some heated discussions in the support group which my wife and I used to be members of here in Atlanta.
Good Question! And maybe one only each of us as individuals can answer and share, if we want to.
So, I am a guy, a man who enjoys sometimes getting very dolled up pretty and presenting myself out in public as a woman. Since I am heterosexual and faithful to my wife, I do not attempt to attract anyone for sexual purposes. I do enjoy speaking with women in public about female fashions, make up, female styles, etc. Also, I often explain to men and women what being a CD means and what it is.
What’s my label? Where do I fit in? Don’t know, I’ve never really been too concerned about it. Most of the time I am a guy. Sometimes people will add things up, “aren’t you in here sometimes as a woman”? Yes, that’s me, I am a CD. Some men play golf, I play girl.
I can speak of,,, more on this subject to lol But,,,, you said it 👍🙏👠 and its also all good with,,,, me a.k.a. Kara,,, peace +++
Two letters fit me. C and D because that’s what I am.
I’m not trying to fit into the lgbtpqrs group because quite frankly I’m not any of those things. I’m me ,just plain ol’ me (well I guess I’m not plain by a long shot but you know what I mean).
I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out where I fit in. I don’t really fit in anywhere. I’m a unique individual much like all of you here. So I guess here is where I fit in best.
Jessica
I try not to worry about labels as they change daily to fit someone’s ideas of what they think. The alphabet soup just keeps growing to encompass everyone in every shape or form. Personally, I agree with a lot of girls here that like labels and I don’t always fit into the box someone else tries to put me in… so I will just be me.
LBGT then LGBTQ goes back to the ancient days, (10-years?) when ‘transgender’ meant what it says, to transit between genders. Specifically cross-dressers were the sort of persons who were gender variant, although I have never seen anyone use quite that term or even fully acknowledge the difference. There was more concentration, for some reason, on the gender nonvariant and the term, transgender, quickly was subsumed to a more restricted meaning than was initially intended. Thus, the ‘T’ (transgender) initially meant cross-dressers as well.
But we do not have a very strong lobby and receive little (and generally sub rosa) attention.
Araminta.
Re-posting an earlier comment which I hope helps, like manyI think the alphabet soup is a bit confusing and silly in the end. We are who we are and respect each other for it.
Hi Girls!
I’ve read a lot and thought a lot about this topic, and come to the conclusion that I (and many others when I read above) fit the category of “dual-role transvestite”. This is someone (of either gender) who dresses temporarily in the clothing of the opposite gender to experience what it is like to be or to take the role of the opposite gender. There is no desire for reassignment treatment, and it is not a fetish for clothing as such.
Actually it used to be more women doing this because male-dominated society didn’t allow intelligent women into certain places and roles, so they dressed and behaved as men to experience it without prejudices. There is plenty of literature of women dressing as men for that reason, and I am sure many of them shared our fears of how society, family and their SO would react if they had been found out. There were happily also notable cases of the SO or male friends supporting them, recognising the hypocrisy of society then, and science and literature are better for it. There were of course some for whom it was sexual, many though simply recognised they could not experience or achieve something without temporarily presenting as male. Of course, women have the advantage here that it is easier as a woman to pass as a rather small, fresh faced man than it is for a large, athletic male to pass as a demure, svelte woman. I also think society then and now is more forgiving of women presenting as men (no one reacts to women in jeans, try wearing a skirt as a man though!)
The real dilemma for me in the past was how to align this with the obvious thrill of wearing soft, sexy clothes. Surely that is a fetish? It was when I was talking though to a GG friend it fell into place. She said “I LOVE wearing something sexy, you think we buy all that lace and lingerie for men only? I get SUCH A BUZZ walking around knowing that underneath my plain business suit is a super hot set of lingerie. Wow! And at night that long slinky nightgown isn’t only for seduction, it feels good!”
That nailed it for me, for those of us who want to experience being a woman sometimes OF COURSE getting that buzz from sexy lingerie is part of the whole thing. And yes, that is what I want. How does it feel to be a GG, sometimes in loose weekend clothes, sometimes in more sexy dress. I am being a woman, not fantasising about lingerie as such. When I am Simone I take on a feminine persona as much as I can, to experience as much as I can what that means.
This has had some really great moments, being out and a woman admiring my dress. Yes, and I do say a woman, as she clearly saw me as a fellow woman at the time. It was an appreciative comment, woman to woman, which felt great.
I’ve also experienced the downside of aggressive men trying to come on to the woman I was at the time and not taking the “no!”. The anger and fear I felt as a woman at that moment was real. It was not a fear of being outed, so what if I were? In some ways fun to see the idiot’s reaction to finding he was trying to hit onto a MAN! No, it was the fear that as a woman I was both at a disadvantage culturally, and that somehow this idiot thought it was OK to leer at my boobs and make lewd suggestions.
Being in my two alternative genders lets me get a real understanding and respect for BOTH genders and the pluses and minuses of each.
I have no desire to change permanently (I quite like my alternative), just wish I could alter the body shape as easily as I slip into the mental state of Simone. Damn, and figure out how to get the make-up right!!
Best wishes to all of you across the spectrum, where you are is yours, I’ve found mine.
S
I consider myself to be trans, and non- binary (although gender fluid might also be accurate). Most of the time I’m a cis-het-male. I am married and very faithful to my wife at all times. When I dress, I’m still married, and still faithful. And still only look at women. At that point, I consider myself a woman, perhaps a lesbian. I dunno. It should be all about how you see yourself, not which label you think others see you as. If you don’t like labels, don’t use one, then you’re just you. If you feel having a label helps you to sort yourself to yourself, then that’s fine too. Most of us here are easy enough to get along with and won’t care about the labels on your luggage.
Lables is just a means ththat society forces us tto give it a power over us. Does a bear need to call itself a bear? Or a Bunny call itself a Bunny? It just is. And I would Wager that it would not care if you call it a Bunny, a rabbit, a hare, a thumper. It just wants you to accept that it is alive and leave it alone. Don’t kill it. Don’t cage it. Don’t eat it. Just let it be itself and go about it’s way unmolested and live it’s life. I just want to be known as a very caring, cool, sweet, romantic, loving person whom goes that extra mile for my friends and family. What has compassion for other people. Try to be polite and nice to those I come in contact with and the only lable I consider myself is genuine. Because reguardless if I’m in a dress or a pair of cover all’s and a hard hat, I still have the same heart and am still the same person. I’m just cuter in the dress. 😂💞
Sally,
You are right and i think this is a problem. We (crossdressers) in my honest opinion are “classified” under a less than desirable category. I think most believe we are some how perverted, and represent a less than desirable side of identity.
This is not true of course. Quite the opposite. This is especially true for those of us who are older. Those things that I have found geared towards supporting CD’s tends to be directed towards people of a much younger age. That is fine, they need the support but someday they will be in our shoes and find themselves in this classification.
I don’t know why that is but would like to change it.
Certainly however, CDH is wonderful about this. It is the one avenue we have.
Love and Hugs,
Rebecka
Being able to describe who you are gives you agency, a place, in society. In order to describe who we are we need the vocabulary to do so. We often times struggle to find the correct vocabulary and that struggle is often times difficult, but it is worth the effort. Because without agency in society we find ourselves locked away in our closets unable to walk safely and confidently within our society. With agency we have the tools to create the the societal infrastructure that allows us a safe place in which to live our lives. Therefore without the accurate vocabulary to describe ourselves we simply disappear.
A great book on the subject is: ” Trans Like Me by C N Lester
Mary
If those were my only options (and based on my limited understanding of the nuances of some of the labels) I would have to be pick trans. For the whole of my life, I’ve always been drawn to feminine things, to act in a feminine way and, when dressed, to be seen and treated as a woman – like many here, if I could snap my fingers and be immediately changed into a woman and be accepted fully, I would.
However, life is not like that, any attempt to change my gender from that assigned to me at birth is fraught with difficulty and risk and this sets up a ‘cost/benefit’ situation where increasing my level of satisfaction at who I am comes with increasing costs and hardships. Right now, being a cross-dresser sates some of my need to be a woman, it’s not a risk or cost free way of living but at least for now, the comparatively brief periods I can be ‘Rachel’ for help me and the potential downsides are small.
I know though, that in the long run these brief moments won’t be enough for me and that I will want have longer periods as Rachel and perhaps go back to living as her for significant stretches – at that point, there will be a potential cost, my wife and family will have to be told. Maybe they will accept this, maybe they wont; I can’t say right now but, suppose that change takes me to a ‘happy medium’, where my feminine desires are sufficiently expressed for me and at a level where my wife and family are OK with it, what am I at that point?
Is there a category of long term crossdresser? Can you be transgender and never reach the point of actually wanting to transition as the overall costs are too high? The usual response I hear is, ‘well, it’s more of a spectrum’, which actually seems to be a good answer as we’re definitely all subtly different but, if there really is a spectrum of gender/sexuality/mannerism/preference/etc., do discrete categories and labels make any sense anymore?
Rachel xx
Hi Rachel
“I would have to be pick trans!” Trans covers a wide range, Transitioning, Transexual, Transvestite? None of which in my not so humble opinion remotely desribes me.
” if I could snap my fingers and be immediately changed into a woman and be accepted fully, I would.” So would I as long as I could double snap and change back again.
I would consider myself as a Casual Cross Dresser (CCD?) and I am perfectly happy as a man or a woman, you might say having the best of both worlds.
CCD it is then…..Sally x x
We seem to be the ONLY group that is unaccepted by society as though what we do is taboo. While other groups are coming out (so to speak) and society is slowly excepting them (some people are still having a hard time accepting them), we on the other hand are still considered not acceptable. As long as society views us as sissy’s, perverts, and every other disgusting term you can apply, we are forced to live in hiding and in fear of someone finding us out. We’ve seen it all to often how CDs are treated when they are out in public by society at large, ie the physics violence, the verbal assults, etc. NOT to mention the personal humiliation and lost of family and friends who don’t understand us. One day this will all change but for most of us not in our lifetime.
Jennifer
I identify as transgender, non-binary, lesbian. If asked, this is how I respond these days. 6 words is much simpler than close to 30. These are the ones that match how I feel and how I see and define myself. To me it is appropriate and I have no problem with it. Other terms either do not fit or don’t fit close enough, so they are not part of my definition. The thing is, EVERYONE has a definitions associated with their being. To not claim those would seem to be more of an issue than doing so. If you don’t claim who you are, then who are you?
Well I think I would put us CD ladies in the same room as the Ts. I assume that most Ts started off as CDs before fully transitioning. I would be in the T room and the B room because I am bisexual as well. But I also consider my WHOLE scenario which is bigendered because this body I am in is a male body and I share it with the male persona that came with this body. So I guess I would encompass quite a few letters of the alphabet mafia. So if someone wants to label me they can go ahead and give it a go. They just might say “to hell with it” and leave ladies like me unlabeled lol.
A little bit 2S, some T, splash of A (allied) and some Q (the questioning variety).
I’m 2STAQ!
Connie
xxx
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As this thread shows, labels can really confuse and upset people.
I don’t like labels because it limits and pigeon holes those under it. We are all human and as a human we evolve constantly… its our right.
I am ME and I like all things feminine…. period.
Call me what you want but its YOUR label not mine.
This is a very good and valid question. I do apologize if I may write what others have already written! I’ve only read your question, but here is my take.
My perception is that “crossdressing” is somehow more aligned with being sexually deviant. I see this portrayed in a lot of search results, nothing scientific. I don’t think we (or rather I) fit into the “Tranny” mold.
If I had to be honest sexually I consider myself bi, and a male who loves to wear female clothes. I don’t particularly look or sound female, but just love to dress. It feels good!
So I don’t really care about where in the alphabet I fit in, I am just who I am. If someone wants to categorize that somehow then fine. I don’t feel the need to “fit in” to whatever they decide.
Love and hugs!
RebeckaDear Sally ,
I just think that all the girls here are part of the “rainbow-coalition” ,
however it is discribed.
But that is only my opinion , some of you will probabably disagree.
Reading the Forums every day , I think most of the girls here don’t fit into “boxes”
posed upon us by society , and for me I am glad I don’t fit into them either !
I am finding things out about myself every day , and in doing so , I am becoming more and more in touch with my true self.Love Sylvia.
Wow I hadn’t seen this before. What a fantastic question!
Obviously, I’ve got opinions haha, some of you are aware I have too many opinions. All I want to say is that I think it’s a good conversation to have and a great question to ask.
I haven’t read all this yet. I look forward to it. Thanks, Sally. (Or Sally from last year or whatever haha)
This has been a hot topic lately. The battle over labels will rage on I’m sure. I have my opinions, already stated a few times recently so I’ll just say that however you identify, you’re beautiful.
carry on,
— Abbie 🥰
Hi Sally
I think we should the LFP banner, lovely friendly people.
Love Sarah
xx
No disrespect intended, Sally, but to answer your question, I could care less what letter I fit and why.
My female self is part of me, and I am grateful I get to periodically express that beautiful part of my personality, out in public, for the world to see.
Rather than “analyze,” I “utilize” all things female.
Hi Peggy Sue!
My answer was going to be along the same line of thought… I don’t care or want to label myself.
Gaby
Hi Sally i don’t think i have any right to comment on the subject in question, as I’m still in the closet to my wife and family , the only thing i can say is we are what we are,
If i could go back in time to before i got married i would definitely tell my wife I’m a crossdresser, i don’t think I’m trans as such although I’ve often thought what it would be like to be a full time female, maybe i am trans after all,
All i know is the only label you should wear is the one that says my Name is X and just put your own name on the label X
Hugs 🤗 Roz X
Sally, you fit in here. This seems to be a pretty diverse group of girls here on CDH, many consider themselves trans, or under the trans umbrella, non-binary, gender fluid, bi-gender, dual gender, etc., etc., etc. If you do find a label(s) that you feel fits you, then I affirm and accept you for them. If you don’t, then I still affirm and accept you for who you are. I’m ok with any (non-offensive) labels that anyone uses or prefers. I just don’t feel like we necessarily need them to define us.
So, my answer to your question, you are yourself, and you fit in here with the rest of us.
Birel
Hi Sally!
It’s a good question. No worries.
However, this issue has been so heated lately and has raised emotions so much so that I fear one of my favourite members has left CDH or has been removed. I just don’t know. She was just asking questions. And I’m feeling hurt and worried by it not knowing if this wonderful lady is in any stress or pain.
💔 Barb 😢
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