What are your coping mechanisms for when you're not able to dress?

This poll asks what you do to keep yourself from going crazy when you can't dress.

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  • Counseling
  • Prayer
  • Read CD/TV fiction
  • Participate in online forums
  • Read others' stories
  • Look at others' pictures
  • Remember previous times when you've been able to dress
  • Look at pictures of yourself dressed
  • Immerse myself in my male life and try not to think about it
  • Other
  • underdress
  • Creator
    Topic
  • #712141
    Holly Morris
    Participant
    Registered On: April 15, 2022
    Topics: 107
    Replies: 287
    Has thanked: 3469 times
    Been thanked: 3376 times

    Hi ladies!

    We all know that many of us who crossdress don’t always have a situation that allows us to dress whenever/wherever we’d like to. Because of that, stress can build up, leading to more frustration and other issues that may sometimes affect our relationships with our loved ones. To deal with that, there are a lot of outlets and options, ranging from participating in online forums, to counseling, to reading CD/TV stories and fiction, to prayer. There’s also tactics such as remembering times when you have dressed, looking at pictures of yourself dressed, or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, totally immersing yourself in your male life and trying not to think about not being able to dress. And of course, I’m sure there are many other ways as well.

    But do those work, or do they actually make it more difficult? I know that for me, when I’m unable to dress as much as I need to, being part of this community and reading others’ stories, talking with them, and looking at their pictures has been a great source of not only comfort, but inspiration as well.

    So of course, that got me to wondering…

    If you’re in that situation, what are your coping mechanisms when you’re not able to dress? Or in other words, how do you manage that situation so you don’t go crazy?

    Hugs,

    Holly

    PS – This is a multiple response poll, so you don’t have to choose just one response.

Viewing 21 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #712996
      Becky Davis
      Lady
      Registered On: February 10, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 125
      Has thanked: 1473 times
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      I voted under dressing almost always and of course reading the CDH forums, everyone on here has been so much fun to read about. Just had a DR appointment the other day so out came the boring underwear, but as soon as I got home couldn’t wait to get them off and into something I’m more comfortable in. I have been buying more woman’s clothes that I can wear out such as jeans, wore them to do some shopping last weekend and it was great, the first time I have done that!!! I have also some shorts for during the summer that I have been wearing more and plan to get more for this summer. And it’s all thanks to everyone on here to give me the courage to get a bit more daring.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #712746
      karley delaware
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: October 23, 2017
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 452
      Has thanked: 2471 times
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      Hi Holly………Thank You once again for another topic to help us understand ourselves.  I like to look at my pictures or think about wonderful times I had while dressed.    I have a SO approved Pony Tail that helps me feel so girly…………so far……….it is just below my shoulders………….she would like to have it down to my butt.   (!!!)  Think she suspects…..something?   When not able to dress I like to take my t-shirt off and feel the pony tail on my bare back…………………….or pull it back to put a  claw clip or band on it while crossing my legs like a girl……………………..maybe flick it side to side to loosen it up ………………………………when not quite alone………..I will wear a clip on earring to feel girly ………..when wearing over the knee guy shorts……I will cuff them up to show more legs ……………………when driving alone at night…………I have my mask on…..clip on earring………pony tail…..t-shirt …from a distance……..kinda look like a gal  with little tits……….driving carefully…..like a girl…………………guys can be so sweet!!!!  HA HA …..if they only knew!!!   karley

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #712663
      Kris Burton
      Lady
      Registered On: August 6, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 120
      Has thanked: 515 times
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      It’s not so much of a coping mechanism for me, because participating in online forums and connecting with others I view as part of my overall CD experience. Even if I cannot dress for a time, I don’t experience too much stress because I always have that – and it always feels great to get back to dressing when I do. I also always find it inspirational to view others photos – I learn so much and can apply it to my own presentation when I return to my own dressing.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #712656
      Roberta Broussard
      Baroness
      Registered On: July 20, 2020
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 500
      Has thanked: 6860 times
      Been thanked: 2464 times

      When I can’t dress. I occupy myself with either viewing and conversing with others on CDH or shopping online.

    • #712653
      Rhonda Lee
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 191
      Has thanked: 218 times
      Been thanked: 943 times

      I underdress constantly and avoid weapons and sharp objects in case I am inclined to do anything rash. This week has been non-stop doctor visits, forcing me to reuse the only two pairs of men’s briefs remaining in my wardrobe. I resorted to showing off my pink toenails and explaining to a new doctor today that some men need bone scans because osteoporosis is not just a “woman’s disease” and if treatment with estrogen works for women it should not be dismissed for men just because it leads to breast growth… some men can tolerate such side effects. For others, that is the point(s). I’m switching to a female doctor. They seem to understand some things (ok, a LOT of things) that are less apparent to men. I’m also curious to know what she will do at the annual physical. Will she stick a finger where the sun don’t shine or check my prostate?

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #712620
      Carolyn Kay
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: August 25, 2016
      Topics: 21
      Replies: 492
      Has thanked: 1920 times
      Been thanked: 2310 times

      My situation does mean there will be times when I will not be able to fully dress got some time. I fall back on my friends for support by sharing with them stories for who we are. If that doesn’t work there is always a glass of wine, lol.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #712538
      Ashley Konners
      Lady
      Registered On: August 15, 2020
      Topics: 43
      Replies: 666
      Has thanked: 2310 times
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      I still use the term underdress but really it’s just part of my routine to put on my panties, bralette and cami and pantyhose in the cooler weather on a daily basis. Not so much at work but when able on weeknights and ends it’s a touch of mascara and eye shadow , womens jeans and a light splash of perfume. Seems to get me through.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #712528
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 31
      Replies: 1809
      Has thanked: 12994 times
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      I under dress every day with the basic bra and panties and sometimes other wear like pantyhose, leggings, feminine pads and always use feminine deodorant. I’ve let my hair grow out in a nice ponytail and have earrings which can be seen as either common for both sexes or as a CD thing depending on ones perspective. I can feel girly all day every day without fully presenting as female. I do like to dress full out when I can but thats not often enough.

      I come here every morning and read the latest post loving the common sisterhood of all the girls experiences. I will probably never meet anyone from here but its an enlightening and satisfying connection.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #712428
      J J
      Lady
      Registered On: September 13, 2019
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 508
      Has thanked: 0 times
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      Since I wear panties exclusively, I am always underdressed, so that is my normal. As for not having a chance to wear much outerwear, I do sneak somethings in. I having been on a month long ski trip and visiting family, so sharing houses and or motel rooms with others. I wear women’s yoga tunic as lounge wear, and nobody is the wiser. Same with women’s yoga pants.

      I do stay caught up on the forms, and review/post past pictures as well. I am looking forward to being home though, and getting into some nice lingerie and a dress.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #712414
      Janet Woodham
      Lady
      Registered On: January 21, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 78
      Has thanked: 499 times
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      This is the time of year when I visit family and therefore the only time when I cannot spend the vast majority of my time as a woman. I will have had a five week break between visits when I can be Janet which helps. I fine enjoying the moment, having good company and fresh scenes of enjoyment all help and time passes quickly. The worst is the day before departure when I wonder how I shall cope but always find I do.

    • #712374
      Michelle Trott
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 7, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 622
      Has thanked: 2312 times
      Been thanked: 2813 times

      Either working playing or dressing. There isn’t much else.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #712334
      Alison Anderson
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 15, 2018
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 949
      Has thanked: 760 times
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      I haven’t had a long stretch of not dressing in a long time, and that was when I was on two different trips. Before that I had opportunities quite often.

      I’m divorced now, and although I live with 1+ adult children (one is in college, so is not home all the time), I dress in front of them. Before the divorce, I was living separate (my ex moved out) so I was in he same situation.

      Before my ex moved out, I had already moved out of the bedroom. This meant I could dress every night.

      When I can’t dress, I either underdress in panties (and in the winter I may wear tights), or I dress in stealth mode. I’ll wear a tee shirt  or jeans from the women’s department but looks close enough to men’s. I’ll wear women’s trouser socks or low women’s sweat socks. I’ll wear women’s flats that can pass as men’s. In gym classes I’m usually wearing a woman’s pair of shorts that passes as men’s. I have a women’s jeans jacket and a women’s cardigan that I have worn.

      So I usually find some way to wear something.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #712286
      Jillian(Jill) Evers
      Lady
      Registered On: August 2, 2022
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 64
      Has thanked: 331 times
      Been thanked: 356 times

      Hi Holly, I do look at Pictures & Dream of I wish.. But It also can put
      me in a Depression which I sometimes handle by writing.. Songs, Verses,
      and things that come from that mindset.. Thank You!!💖

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #712236
      Alexa TB
      Lady
      Registered On: January 25, 2023
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 9
      Has thanked: 75 times
      Been thanked: 96 times

      Can I answer that I’m not coping very well at all?

    • #712232
      Julie
      Lady
      Registered On: March 19, 2021
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 101
      Has thanked: 31 times
      Been thanked: 275 times

      I did not vote sweetie. Instead I’ll say I do not go crazy. I try to be in femme mode 24/7 with the resolution to become femme 24/7 girlfriend.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #712189
      Lauren Mugnaia
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 1, 2021
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 643
      Has thanked: 10619 times
      Been thanked: 3639 times

      I voted other because none of the choices apply to me now as I am, like Emily, living as a woman, legally a female. Let me tell you, that is the ultimate coping mechanism.

      I have upper and lower partial dentures and my denturist said it has been 8 years since they were made and it’s time to have them redone. She knows I am transgendered and said this time she’s going to give me a beautiful new feminine smile. I’ve tried on the temporary ones and they’re so pretty I can’t believe the difference it’s going to make! I will post pictures when I get my new smile on February 10th.

      Hugs,

      Ms. Lauren M

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #712185
      Roberta Lane
      Lady
      Registered On: May 10, 2022
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 104
      Has thanked: 466 times
      Been thanked: 461 times

      Happily I am sixty two and have been retired from work for a few years.I have a supportive wife who has been cool about my femme side for the last seven years after a good many years of not being comfortable with it.As a result, hardly a week goes by without me being Roberta at home for a good part of the week.In the days when I was working full time and was closeted dressing up time was limited.I had to book a day or two off from work every now and again in order to dress when my wife was at work.During the long weeks and months when I could not do it,I would cope by looking at women’s clothes catalogues for UK stores such as Next.They were quite large and were full of skirts,dresses,blouses and shoes in my preferred style that I could browse and fantasise about wearing.The other thing was clocking all the lovely womenswear at the stores my wife shopped in.She didn’t know that I was a crossdresser then but I would clock all the wonderful outfits as my wife shopped.We had great bricks and mortar stores back then such as Dorothy Perkins.Nowadays, I only have sustained periods of not dressing when we go on vacation for a week or two.The tension is alleviated by some girly shopping with the wife.Albeit with me in male mode.But my wife and I share the same sense of style.She picks the same skirts,dresses and tops as the ones she desires and picks them out in my size in addition to hers.It gives me something to look forward to when we get home.And my wife loves to see me looking as glamorous and pretty as she when I try them on.

    • #712176
      Requal Joanne
      Lady
      Registered On: December 15, 2020
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 572
      Has thanked: 628 times
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      I remember the times I have dressed and look forward to the (long time to wait) occasions when I able to dress.

    • #712161
      Emily Alt
      Hostess
      Registered On: August 24, 2019
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 1283
      Has thanked: 1439 times
      Been thanked: 6625 times

      Much like Deborah, I’ve gotten to a place where my clothing choices don’t affect my mental health.  Girl brain.

      It took many years of struggling with my gender identity to get here.  During that time, therapy and online forums helped.

      I also leaned on alcohol a bit too much.  Overcoming that challenge taught me a ton of important coping skills that I’ve been able to apply in every part of my life.

      Good topic!

      /EA

    • #712160
      Jess Secret
      Lady
      Registered On: February 18, 2021
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 605
      Has thanked: 1475 times
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      In my case I stay busy during the day in male mode (work on weekdays, other things on the weekends), I’ll daydream about dressing, and have it to look forward to at bedtime every night (romantic lingerie). So I definitely have my coping mechanisms in place.

    • #712153
      Wendy Swift
      Lady
      Registered On: May 11, 2020
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 925
      Has thanked: 1003 times
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      This past weekend was busy, family get together meant I did not have any time to transform into Wendy.

      I was literally antsy sunday afternoon not being able to fully transform.  I underdress most of the work week, so that keeps my CDing urges at bay (kinda).   So this past weekend I was at least able to underdress so that kept my angst somewhat at bay.   Spritzing some nice feminine perfume also helps too.

    • #712143
      Deborah Sullivan
      Lady
      Registered On: February 27, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 1071
      Has thanked: 5412 times
      Been thanked: 4726 times

      Since I perceive myself as a woman I do consciously act out as a woman in public just feeling I am wearing my boyfriends clothes.

      • #712144
        Holly Morris
        Lady
        Registered On: April 15, 2022
        Topics: 107
        Replies: 287
        Has thanked: 3469 times
        Been thanked: 3376 times

        Deborah, I love that answer!

        Hugs,

        Holly

        2 users thanked author for this post.
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