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What are your cross dressing goals for the future? I find having a concrete goal in my mind helps motivate me. In regards to dressing improving my skills at applying makeup is a constant goal but besides from that one thing stands out, I want to improve my confidence level while dressed. I recently attended an event with many other dressers and I was so impressed with the air of confidence some possessed. I encountered many dressers but some had a presence that oozed confidence regardless of how well done there presentation was. Maybe they were veterans or simply good actors, either way I want a little of that. Someone recently told me “ you look great, now own it!” those words meant something to me and I’m making it a goal. Self confidence can’t be bought for any price but you sure can own it! What are your goals moving forward? Thanks in advance for your comments.
I have a couple of stages in my goals. Firstly to draw a reasonable a balance between my male and female side as I am able with my wife, within her limitations not mine.
As a crossdresser, my goals are firstly to be come good at makeup and I have some way to go there. Secondly to go out to crossdresser groups and then as Melanie says when my confidence is go enough to go out and about as a female. Not every day and only when it is not going to risk causing my family any embarrassment, so realistically when I am away.
In my CDing journey, I’ve accomplished many goals :
– introducing my wife to Wendy. This was nerve wracking to say the least but she has been super fantastic about it and supportive.
– constantly evolving my CDing. What I mean by that is I used to use foam hip inserts in panties and now I’m using silicone hip/butt pads which gave me the womanly figure that I have been seeking for so long.
– being able to afford better quality and realistic wigs vs. costume wigs.
– improving (but by no means perfect) my makeup skills. When I first started I thought using beard covering was sufficient. Looking in the mirror I resembled bozo the clown as beard covering only hides the beard and doesn’t blend into the skin colour. I’m now using foundating plus many other products to hide my drab facial features and bring out Wendy.
– a few months back, I went out as Wendy to get gas for my truck. While I know many have gone out as their femme selves shopping, chores, in public, this was a landmark for me as the most I’ve ever done was go out as Wendy but remained in the vehicle. This time I had to get out of the vehicle and present myself as Wendy in public. I’ve also dressed up as Wendy for the past 2 halloweens, something I’ve always wanted to do. Even though it was still at home passing out candy to the kids, I did so as Wendy.
– going to work as Wendy. Since the pandemic, I’ve been working from home so there have been a few days where I did do a full transformation into Wendy to go to work. So technically I can say I went to work as Wendy.
– bought a wedding dress.
I do have some lofty goals, some I know are not attainable :
– I would love to attend events like keystone or other events that feature GTG with other CDers. At the present time I am not sure if that is ever doable.
– live my life more as Wendy. My wife is ok with me as Wendy in the house, but not that comfortable in public with me as Wendy. I don’t want to push her too far and risk losing her support so this one may not be attainable.
– trying on womens clothes in a store. This one is a toss up because that means going out in public as Wendy or trying on the clothes in drab mode.
– going on a cruise as Wendy.
Sounds like you are well on your way Wendy. I like your list of goals , they are very attainable although the cruise is something I doubt I’ll ever do. Shopping en femme is something I’m definitely going to do soon I hope. I would love to confidently walk into the ladies department and just browse and even try some stuff on. Oh well one step at a time.
You sound confident to me. You are already going out, and to events! Maybe you just have to start giving yourself the credit you already deserve ❤
My goals are pretty simple: just have fun with it, and find the next cute outfit :p
I overthink every other part of my life, this is my relax and feel pretty time.
Those are great goal’s foxy! Having fun being femme is really what it’s all about. As far as being confident, I’m certainly not, maybe I looked confident but I’m shaking in my heels. My reason for wanting to become more confident is so I can enjoy myself more when around others. Self doubt and nervousness can really put a downer on the whole experience. Good luck to you moving forward foxy
Still gotta get used to being out. While I can go out and just be outside I still feel pretty nervous when I am out especially when I feel like I am attracting attention due to any reason, even something as mundane as being in someone’s way or ordering something to drink. Kind of need to just start getting over those nerves.
I don’t know if this will help, but one thing I was surprised by when I started venturing out, was actually the lack of attention. I tend to limit my outings to places I know I’ll be accepted, but in all the times I’ve been out I got one scowl, and a few friendly smiles. I went out preparing for explanations or to endure mocking or whatever else, but nothing like that happened. Nobody cared. It some ways, it was almost a let down, I realized I kind of wanted a bit more attention than I got.
Everyone says it, but it’s so true, confidence is key. The more you act like everything is as it should be, the more likely everyone else will accept that.
Jenny and Melanie, you both look great, so be bold and don’t worry.
I do have a list of things I’d like to do, but the only real barrier is my wife’s acceptance. She lets me do what I want, but it seems to make her unhappy. I can’t set goals for another person, but I wish there was a way to make it so she didn’t feel like I’m mentally ill or sinful.
Here are a few things I want to do en femme
symphony or opera gala in a fancy, season finale dress/look
new years eve party, maybe a 20’s theme
day on the river standup paddle boarding, I have the perfect swimsuit for it…
omg Sarah I like your style! The opera/symphony thing is a bucket list item for me. I’d love to wear a beautiful gown with opera gloves and all and attend a classical performance! In regards to wives, mine is very similar she allows me to dress but I feel she isn’t comfortable with it, her reservations do hold me back as well. Btw I found what you said to be true most people don’t even care about our presence but it’s hard to get over nerves anyway. Oh and you are gorgeous Sarah!
Oh Melanie, you’re so kind.
One of the things that interesting about nerves, is they can be part of the fun. I mean, when I ski, or kayak, or dress up, if there isn’t a little bit of nervousness, it kind of takes away from the fun. It certainly takes away from sense of accomplishment after.
We’ll have to go to a concert together!
True Sarah, part of me wonders if there was no stigma around dressing would it still be as fun? And going out the couple times I have was definitely an adrenaline rush so if it was completely accepted would that no longer get the endorphins going? Only time will tell. Maybe I’ll see you at the opera house, I’ll be the lady with the tight satin dress and one of those long cigarette holders! Stop over and say hello. Lol
Ha ha. I’ll look for you there.
For me, the deviance is definitely part of the fun. I’ve said in other places, I don’t mind if people laugh a bit or think I’m weird, I just don’t want them to think I’m dangerous around their children. Everyone I’ve met seems to treat me the same, whatever mode I’m in, but there’s a lot of people who don’t know about this side of me.
One of my crossdressing goals that has always seemed impossible has actually been reached recently, and that is to be able to dress fulltime, 24/7. I am now committed to living this way for the rest of my life, and I can tell you that it is, in many ways, some of them quite fun, actually a lot like work.:)
I have naturally long nails that have always been a goal and that has been reached, but I have to get the gel overlays redone every 4 weeks! Another goal is to have my brows done, and that has to be maintained as well. I am investigating having eyelash extensions as my own lashes leave a lot to be desired. I’m thinking about visiting a local clinic called “Derma Spa” that specializes in skin rejunevation. I am follically challenged so I wear wigs, I want to find a style that doesn’t always get hair in my face, my eyes or stuck on my lipstick. I would like to lose 25 pounds which I know would definitely help me maintain my girlish figure. Those are my current goals, it’s been fun reading what the rest of you ladies have been saying. I forgot to mention that I finally got my ears pierced, that was a biggy!!
Love,
Lauren MWith me I don’t really have many goals – I already have acceptance, support and encouragement from a SO (I have a great boyfriend) and given my wardrobe is 99% romantic lingerie I don’t see myself going out in public lol. I’d go out in public if I had interest in other clothes but I’m a lingerie girl at heart first and foremost. I suppose my only actual “goal” would be a lingerie sleepover with friends who could see me in lingerie so I could present to them but for right now I’m very satisfied with where I’m at. I love wearing romantic lingerie to bed (panties during the day) and that suffices for now.
I have several goals I would like to do as a cross dresser. Of course like most girls I would like to lose some weight and improve on my makeup skills. I too would like to have my spouse be more accepting and supportive. I would love to have her show it by giving me femme things on special occasions or suggesting we go shopping as girlfriends. I want to wear a dress covered in sequiens and other fancy cocktail or party dresses. I want to attend a cross dresser conference and meet other girls like me. I want to go on a week long vacation and dress as a woman the entire trip. I want to be able to dress at home whenever I feel like it. I want to expand my wardrobe and jewelry collections. I go out in public and shop as a woman including trying on clothes but I want to do it more often. Wishes not goals include piercing my ears, growing hair long enough to wear women’s styles, and having female breasts. I love being a woman and dressing in beautiful lingerie and dresses. I just want to do it more often and do it with the woman I love.
That’s one heck of a list Lisa, but it sounds like you need one thing to start with. I don’t know if you’ve had the talk with your spouse but it sounds like a heart to heart discussion is going to be needed. I wish you luck with it and working on that long list of goals.
We have had many heart to heart discussions. She is aware of my desire and need to express my feminine side by dressing completely as a woman. She just does not want to participate in my activities. I love her with all my heart and I know she loves me. She has a limit to what she tolerates and right now it is limited to shaving my legs and underarms (I don’t have any other body hair) and I use Secret deodorant daily. I’m trying to be patient in hopes she will soften her view of my dressing.
Hi MelanieElizabeth!
First, allow me to give an un requested piece of advice to those who may be reading… make your goals only based on what you can do yourself. If your goal is about changing how others feel or think, it may very well end in frustration to you.
With that out of the way, I’ll have to say that I really can’t think of anything new I would like to do.
Maybe I’d like to attend some event. It is been many years since the last time I did.
Yeah, let’s go with that. 🙂Good point Gabriela! I would also like to stay away from ridiculous things like magic wands and the like. Attending a cd event is a great one and very attainable for most. On that note I never met my fairy godmother but I’m hoping I will someday! Lol.Ty for your response Gabriela and for keeping us on track
Health and wealth! As my dressing evolves I find myself wanting to be leaner and fitter. I’ve made some changes to my lifestyle but I really need to work harder at it. My main obstacle being a 30 year smoking habit, no amount of moisturising is going to fix my skin unless I can quit the cigs (at UK prices that would be like a significant pay rise!) Which leads on to my second goal: finding the means to renovate my flat into something fit for a lady, instead of a lifelong idler’s idea of a mancave. There’s enough room here for a couple of large wardrobes.
Oh darn, that makes my third goal a second job…How else am I going to fill those wardrobes?
For motivation: I think this girl will need to kick The Man In Drab up the tush. Amy x
As I’m well into my 70’s I’ve done most of “it all” Makeovers, shopping as Caty, CD events. etc etc.
I have one left.. A femme bra fitting. Had two “fall over”. Third time lucky is hopefully mid May.
Rest assured “y’all” will know about it.. with photos if it occurs.
But stay… The other thing is to have my loving partner understand why I need to be Caty. Not necessarily “accept”.. just “understand”.
But that to quote the old song title is “The Impossible Dream”
Caty.
I’d say my main goal is to change minds for greater acceptance. I say that because it is my goal to be confident and go out in public wearing a dress and others to be able to do the same. And I know that starts with me.
So far my ears are pierced, my fingers and toes are polished regularly, I wear makeup and perfume whenever I feel the need, and all my drab, non work, clothes are all feminine.
So the hurdle I’m currently working on is having breasts. I assume I am going through what most GG’s go through during puberty with trying to find there style and excepting that there chest has forever changed shape. With that note, I am not transitioning or on hormones. I’m trying to build my own confidence that I can wear my forms whenever I want. I have been wearing them all day for two weeks now but still can’t take my coat or hoodie off in public yet. So that’s the current smaller goal I’m on.
Melanie,
My goals include losing at least 20 pounds, getting better at applying makeup, and developing a feminine sounding voice. I also want to experiment with padding to create the proper hip to shoulder width ratio to look more like a woman. Also, getting whiter teeth would also help.
Hugs,
Kerri
MelanieElizabeth, self confidence should be the ultimate goal of every lady like us, no matter how we present our femme selves; “owning it” is the best advice to gain self confidence.
I have the self confidence to be out in public where the TG/CD community is accepted and I recently started wearing my first item of make-up. My immediate goal is to learn a complete make-up routine, probably through lessons. I want to achieve this goal, so that I can go out to general places as a woman. My long term goal is to attend The Keystone Conference next year.
Hi Melanie,
My ultimate goal is to feel confident enough to go out in public dressed. I would love to attend CD group get togethers and conferences. This would be a bridge too far for my wife right now so it is an unattainable goal at the moment. However, I can still make progress towards that goal. I want to develop makeup skills and come this fall I think I will have the chance to take some lessons. I also need wigs, shape wear and appropriate clothing. I just went for a bra and form fitting so that’s a start. Also, want to work a bit on my voice but have not started that yet.
Hugs,
Michelle
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