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Hi Girls! yes its that time of the week again and its poll time! i was thinking about this recently and was wondering where i really want to be at sometime in the future. I am sure we all wish to move along on our exciting journeys, but what really are your dreams and aspirations? lets find out…. Fiona’s prediction…. to be accepted by friends or family. As before with all my polls, i am bound to have left out something! i’m sorry in advance if i have. Now lets have some fun and see what you all wish for. Good luck!
Fiona xxx
I am happy with what I have. I know for sure That at best I can only expect tolerance from my wife. Heck I can’t even imagine how acceptance would be! 🙂 but it is ok. Most other choices, been blessed, been there, done most of that. So, will be updating my clothes according to my classic style with a touch of following the ebbs and flows of fashion.
Gaby 💜
Hi Gurls: I have about everything listed, with the exception of unconditional acceptance by friends. People I have known for 15-20 years, simply cannot accept this part of me, as a result, I’m limited in places to go due to other peoples disapproval. As part of the Events and Places staff, I had negotiated a safe place to go with a business owner I worked for previously, even though he wasn’t too sure. He didn’t want his establishment to be known as a Gay Bar. I assured him it wouldn’t and “we” can come on Sundays. I was there a few Sundays without issue, them a few weeks ago a patron complained, and that was that, game over.
I can’t wait for the day we are as universally accepted as other members of the LGBT community.
Hugs, Wanda
Agree Wanda-done most of these. Part of me is satisfied about where I am; i have SOME friends and family who both know and are accepting and some who know but aren’t thrilled-would be nice if everyone just didn’t care how I present or appear; and part of me wonders whether I want/need t further toward transitioning in some manner. Only time will tell1 But I am going to live life and enjoy the journey!
CynA conversation I’ve often had with my beloved SO (who is MTF trans) is how bigoted the LGBT/whatever initials may have been added in the past few weeks actually is regarding those who fall outside the mainstream (trans/CD primarily). It’s a bit disheartening, me coming from a fundamentalist Christian background and her from… well really the same but having to deal with being trans in the midst of it, realizing how bigoted both sides of the issue can potentially be, and us caught in between.
As (iirc) the Apostle Paul said: these things ought not to be.
Any community (by which I mean both the Church and the LGBT community) which proclaims universal acceptance ought to practice what they preach.
…okay. steps down from soapbox, blushing
I’d like to gain the confidence to go out, at least further than my backyard, which is extremely private. {One could have an orgy out there, and no one would see or hear! Only the bugs would bite in the tender places in the warm weather.}
Back to my femme hopes. Yes to go out fully femme, I recently learned about a en femme group in a nearby city which meets monthly, and that would be very cool to go to. I’m a long way from that though.
AmyHi Sweeties,
Being relatively new (about 1.5 years) to cross dressing, I chose the following goals and not necessarily in the order listed:
Femme convention (Harrisburg/Hershey, PA.)
This location, in particular, because I spent the majority of my career there. And retired from work in the Capitol city. So, to be able to return en femme, to haunt the places there that I only ever appeared as a man. It would be absolutely FANTASTIC!!!!!
It’s funny when I think back about how cold the winters can be in PA.. I would nervously buy pantyhose (I shaved my legs, too!) to wear under my slacks when winter arrived. And what a sexy, thrilling, and chilling (pun intended, lol) experience it was to wear my hose to the office!Perfect my Make-up Skills
And to apply products more artistically.Acceptance
Always a challenging goal.Fiona, thanks for the topic. As usual, you perform fantastically and I, for one, appreciate it!
Luv, Nikki
This is a great poll and I must add my tuppence worth.
Fiona, I must part ways with you on this one: “To be accepted by friends or family” is so far down on my list as to be insignificant – I would NEVER voluntarily reveal my CDing to them; they are soooo LGBTQ-unfriendly, and that includes CDs.
Top of my list? “To go to a Femme convention.”
But before I do that, I have to “perfect my make up skills,” “buy more accessories such as handbags and jewelry,” “gain more confidence,” and “have a fantastic collection of Femme clothes.”
And, maybe the hardest of all for me might be to “learn/practice walking in medium heels.” Even 2-inch pumps would be an arduous endeavor. I know this wasn’t specifically on the list, but for me, it is a “femme dream.”
I have not even started to dress yet, but I want to soon. I am older at 66 and have a growing desire to feel sensual. I will try a minny skirt soon. I would like to do it in private with someone who can appreciate it.
You have the same priorities as myself, but much further along.
Hi Chrissy, just want to say that I am hardly what you might call “further along,” so maybe just a tiny bit ahead of you! Myself, I started a few years ago with the skirts (but NOT mini) and tops after being unable to find a dress that fits well. Still no makeup skills, can’t wear high heels, and only moderately successful at painting my nails.
You’re only 66 (I’m 72), so even if you progress slowly, you’ll be “further along” in a few years than I am now!
Thank you, your words help me. I’m confused I admit, but I still like my fem side. although I’m relatively new, I would live to transition, but I can’t even imagine it happening. It would be nice to surround myself with all the fem things I like and more. It is a slow journey.
Thank you again, Chrissy
Fiona, I think this is a great poll. I checked off virtually everything, after all, what gurl doesn’t want more jewelry, clothes, makeup…LOL. However, I am right there with Camryn Occasionnel. Unfortunately, I am within a circle of family and friends who would not accept my dressing. So I have no hope for ever having Anne come out to family and friends. I don’t ever foresee this ever happening. I think it would be a tremendous highlight if I could attend one of the Femme conventions where I could meet and be with likeminded people. Maybe some day but it would have to be a situation where my SO is away, leaving me alone to cross Femme convention from my bucket list.
Yes; my Dressing Desires are strictly Davida’s. I luv all I’ve discovered and am simply amazed how captivating the world of femininity is but I doubt I’d ever share it with anyone one in my Daily World on purpose. Of course…. here I am sharing on CDH!
I voted None of these. Hum now to why…
I am very happy with where I am at, super comfortable in fem and my male side. In fem go where I like and do what I wish. I am good with all my clothes and accessories though naturally I enjoy shopping and acquiring new things but I don’t need them. I have clothes never worn with the tags still on.
Don’t want to transition, really doesn’t matter if I’m accepted by friends and family-do some even need to know-I don’t think so.
I can not check “I have no dreams, I’m happy with what I have”
There is ONE thing I have Femme hopes for in the future-
Simply more time to spend as Sandy!
I’m amazed and surprised to have been bitten by the Femme Bug as a late bloomer at 59. As a Closet Gurl I must say; a Playmate, someone to share the experience with. Chatting anout the changes and challenges we face and sharing makeup and clothes. Someone to meet for coffee, walk the Mall. Someone who gets it and wants a Playmate developing our Gurl persona while preserving our male personality. I don’t want to transition… sometimes I just want to be the Girl; to feel, to dress, to present and be treated like feminine side of me Desires to be.
Never thought I’d be the ‘young’un’ at 42, but I completely relate; I feel like I’m that last horse out the gate and have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve been blessed to make a couple of friends who relate to my struggles, but they’re few and far between (often geographically). While I value my online friends tremendously there’s something indescribably special about sharing your experience with friends close enough to physically hug.
Thanks Fiona,
. . . for the insightful survey. I would love to go out for an evening or even attend a conference if my wife felt comfortable going with. I might go out for an evening alone if she could not join me, but I’d never go overnight without her. That would be saying that the CD thing is more important than our relationship. Regarding acceptance by friends or family, I really only want her acceptance. My family, although pretty progressive in their own ways, is not ready for a “man in a dress.” My wife and I are the most inclusive and nonjudgmental, even as compared to our children. I think it would be hypocritical and completely lacking in perspective for me to reject any idiosyncrasy or behavior that does not do harm to others. I enjoy the reactions I get from people when they not only see my acceptance, but hear my philosophy regarding God’s love of all creatures, but particularly His prized human beings. I think that when I substantially overcame (we’re all works in progress) a need to criticize, exclude, or otherwise marginalize, I arrived at peace and acceptance of my own peculiarities. I would like everyone in my family to find that peace and acceptance, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to be the “test case” that gets them there. But . . . if one or more of my friends or family members were to say, “Gee, I wish I knew a real live crossdresser so I could better understand and accept their fascination,” I’d say, “Guess what?”
Love how you expressed not wanting to go away without your SO. I am BLESSED by my SO being so supportive and accepting when I came out to her (and to me too)! She has taken me out to a movie en femme for my first real outing…taken me shopping for clothes, (actually bought me my first heels and a body shaper!) She also helped bring Rebecca to life for the first time! She even helped me choose my name! Being able to share this with her has been an AMAZING experience!!
For me it is to get more comfortable with who I am. And stop Stressing about where this is all going to lead to. It will go where it is suppose to.
For now, to have my SO pick out what I would wear a couple days a week. I can wear whatever I want inside. I don’t have a large collection of dresses, or matching tops and skirts. Lots in the panty drawer. I mostly go out under dressed with panties, tights & stockings. In the future, to dress femme and have SO go girl shopping with me.
Bobby
To find a support group in my area and join other girls on outing’s fun trips, meet and develop new friendships. I also would like to find a salon that would cut and style my hair to where it becomes more manageable for me to brush and style, as well as helping enhance my appearance… I would also like to one day find that special individual to spend the remainder of my life with… I also would like to resume my usage of hormones… Trisha
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Fiona as with many of your polls this one made me think. I already go out in public, have nice jewelry, a large selection of clothes, not quite enough shoes 😂😂, fairly adept at makeup and am happy and comfortable with who I am. I have a wifey I love who knows all about me and who loves me and two beautiful children. What I don’t have is acceptance by my wife and the world at large. She does not approve and tolerates it only due to her love but fears of my secret (yeah right) getting out. In the end I want to be accepted as who I am and be able to get up every morning and put on any dang thing I want from a dress to BDU’s and makeup as I desire! To wear jewelry, heels, sandals or combat boots. When we are all able to be who we are and want to be and the world accepts each and every one of us as is then I will be finally happy.
🍷C
How about a BDU dress with open toe’d combat heels.
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Lilly if you sew it I’ll wear it! 😂😂
🍷C
To gain more confidence.
I would love not to get so nervous putting on panties in front of my wife every morning! I mean it sounds simple and it kinda is, but you know internal shame is not fun. She really could care less and her focus is on my emotional health, but in order to help normalize it in our relationship, I need to help normalize it for myself! That’s my hope, to see my cross dressing as wholly normal. It doesn’t help that she’s said in the past she doesn’t find me attractive wearing panties or women’s clothes, yet having her physically attracted to be is a big thing for me! It’s a challenge every time not to tell myself I look ‘weird’ putting them on. I like what I like darn-it! And they’re just so cute, sexy, and comfortable (preaching to the choir here).
Otherwise I hope to show my wife some of the pictures I’ve taken dressed up. She’s seen them on my phone, but I’ve never showed them to her. I think there’s a big difference there. Again it’s important for our normalization, but it’s hard to stick my neck out like that when I know she’s not attracted to that and I’m not even asking her to be, but I am asking her to accept me and that includes the pictures of me dressed up (all PG-rated stuff).
I also hope to meet someone in person who also dresses like I do, just for beers and shooting the breeze real casual right. I don’t even know if I’m looking to make a new friends, just to meet someone, I’m super shy by nature but who knows. Again, haven’t told the wife this yet so, just kinda feels like a far away hope for now. I told her I want to keep it private for myself, but that still doesn’t mean I don’t want to say ‘hi’ to someone like me.
Otherwise, I hoped for more clothes ! I hope to keep accepting who I am.
This poll made me think more seriously than the others……….and maybe I’m not hitting the question right. Since I have no worry about my SO, I have all the clothes, makeup and shoes that anyone could want. In truth, in sitting here, contemplating what I dream about, is this : Able to fill my bra a little bit more than I do, to put on some weight to widen my hips and butt, and simply commit myself to waist training to get to a figure I don’t have to work so hard with all the pads, silicone, pain, etc………Not so much as to totally be revealed in public, that’s never been a goal……but simply a more feminine shape. Likely will never happen. Then, I’d like to find a few events, that allows men to fashion show women’s clothes, in good spirit, as I can never pass, but my dream has been to find outlets of expression that aren’t for a drag bar, or gay bar, but good ole ‘campy’ fun….as surely I can laugh at myself, and really don’t mind anyone else to laugh or compliment either…….Then, over these last few days, I’ve recognized there are really nice and good people that share a SO in a monogamous relationship, that share this same cooperation and support that I get at home…………….wouldn’t it be perfect to have three or four couples who enjoy this activity to have ‘get-together’ parties, where ALL are dressed up to the nines ? Certainly not for any devious reason, but just for sharing and mingling with each other in a ‘cocktail-fashion’ theme evening ?
I think the ultimate hope for me is entertaining people as Kristy on stage. Something like a mix between standup comedy and a TED Talk. Making people laugh, experience joy and letting all of myself fully be seen. I’ve been in some pretty dark places years ago and would be so meaningful to help others not go through suffering/find hope….
That is very cool, Kristy. I love to joke, laugh and even be a little riske when the mood strikes me.
I play guitar in a progressive rock band, and I would LOVE to get up on stage dressed and jam it out. I even tried to convince my bandmates to do a side project and call ourselves (now, it’s tounge-in-cheek, remember) The Bearded Lesbians. Everyone thought it was hilarious, but fear of the repercussions put an end to that dream, lol.
I also want to lose weight, go for a little body sculpting and become more femme and “passable” as they say.
Cheers Ladies!! 🙂
I wasn’t sure about the goals around owning stuff. That’s simply a means to the end of crossdressing to me. I have a fantastic collection of clothes, and I’ll constantly seek to refine and update it in order to achieve the looks I need to do the things in life I enjoy and be the person I see myself as.
I did choose perfecting my makeup skills. I tend to do the same makeup job for all occasions, and I need to learn how to do more impressive makeup for events and looking really glam.
As for other goals, I’m not sure what I have at the moment. I achieved a lot last year – going to work dressed, doing burlesque classes and then performing, and taking part in a dress-wearing charity event for a month. This year I have extended the burlesque to a solo, but not a great deal else.
I guess one thing I’d like to do is a full weekend dressed. Many years ago I did do a Saturday morning to early Sunday afternoon completely en femme, but have never managed to repeat that. I’d like to perhaps go away for a whole weekend with no male clothes.
[quote quote=165498]I think the ultimate hope for me is entertaining people as Kristy on stage. Something like a mix between standup comedy and a TED Talk. Making people laugh, experience joy and letting all of myself fully be seen. I’ve been in some pretty dark places years ago and would be so meaningful to help others not go through suffering/find hope….
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That’s a wonderful goal. Anything that gets crossdressers out into the real world, communicating with people is to be applauded.
Currently happy with my basic look and the clothes I have. A few things to improve on
- Maintain a nice set of clothes that covers the whole year round.
- Get another handbag (or two)
- Build up a small selection of jewelry
- A nice scarf or two
One more thing I need to do is build my confidence going out in the day time in a skirt, especially in busy areas.
My goal is to expand Bettylou’s horizons; to shop, eat out and attend movies as Bettylou, with my wife. I’m getting close; Makeover appointment a week from tomorrow, and today I was out (sort of). Wore my wig, skirt and a touch of lipstick for a 50-mile round trip to locate the place where I’m having a CT scan on Friday.
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