- May 3, 2022 at 10:06 am #642858Kelly TerryParticipantRegistered On: February 26, 2018Topics: 46Replies: 473Has thanked: 633 timesBeen thanked: 2125 times
This is mostly for us who only crossdress part time.
I got a question from my sister (who have no problem with me dressed) and I wonder what I should answer to it.
– Say that we are out and you are dressed and then we meet some of my friends. Should I present you as “my brother”, “my sibling”, or what?
I often say it doesn’t matter with he/she/they/whatever but presenting a dolled up kelly as “my brother”, is it anything better that can be used?
- May 5, 2022 at 8:17 am #643223Sarah KanterLadyRegistered On: April 25, 2019Topics: 14Replies: 158Has thanked: 316 timesBeen thanked: 818 times
I think it’s cool that they asked. That shows a lot of thoughtfulness and care, so be sure to acknowledge that.
To me, it really comes down to personal preference. When I’m dressed up, I look like a guy in a dress. I am not transgender and I identify as a cross dresser (meaning, a guy who likes to dress up as a woman). For me, the “correct” identity would be “brother,” but when I’m dressed up, it is fun to be addressed with feminine pronouns/language/name. When I come here and I’m known as Sarah, using that name is just like putting on another piece of clothing. It’s part of the outfit and definitely makes the whole experience more fun. If I was at a convention, for example, part of the fun of the event would be getting to be called Sarah for the whole time, and being in a place where no one knew me by any other name. When I dress up at work, I still use male vocab, because that’s how I see myself and that’s how everyone knows me, and I think it would be inconsiderate for me to demand that everyone switch back and forth between two names and sets of words just for one of my quirks.
I know that for some here, their female name is a deep and important part of how they see themselves. I respect that and believe other people should to. I guess the key here is that when a loved one asks you how you want to be addressed, you should recognize the care that represents, and then be able to recognize what exactly the name means for you. And of course, some patience and grace as others fumble with names and pronouns is important too.
- May 5, 2022 at 6:13 am #643210Jenny JonesLadyRegistered On: November 5, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 205Has thanked: 150 timesBeen thanked: 843 times
So I have a strained relationship with my siblings. Both of them kind of operating on opposite ends of the spectrum. My brother I spend too much time with and I find him an annoying parasite most of the time and my sister has been very long gone and forced to make distance between us and her due to her husband.
However, ultimately my preferences for how I am introduced varies depending on how I am dressed. If I am dressed feminine I would prefer being introduced as a ‘sister’. If not, ‘brother’ or ‘sibling’ is fine.
- May 3, 2022 at 12:33 pm #642896MacKenzie AlexandraManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: May 20, 2016Topics: 43Replies: 676Has thanked: 182 timesBeen thanked: 1861 times
That is not really an issue among my siblings as I am not open to my siblings about my clothing preferences. However, as I do not present as a woman regardless of what I may be wearing, That being said, I am my siblings’ brother, and I would always expect them to introduce me as such.
- May 3, 2022 at 12:04 pm #642890Lauren MugnaiaDuchessRegistered On: November 1, 2021Topics: 15Replies: 373Has thanked: 3958 timesBeen thanked: 1976 times
Over the weekend I met for lunch with my sister and her daughter, my niece. It was the first time they had met Lauren and they are both fully supportive of my transition. We had a great time together and talked for almost two hours. My sister refers to me as ‘she’ and ‘her’, and my niece said, “I guess I have to call you Auntie Lauren now”. If we are presenting as women or have transitioned then we should always be referred to in the feminine gender.
- May 3, 2022 at 11:18 am #642877
- May 3, 2022 at 10:11 am #642860Gabriela RomaniManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: January 11, 2021Topics: 992Replies: 464Has thanked: 407 timesBeen thanked: 2309 times
I would rather her to present me as “this is Gabriela, my sister”. And then let the conversation flow from there.
- May 3, 2022 at 1:34 pm #642906Kelly TerryDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: February 26, 2018Topics: 46Replies: 473Has thanked: 633 timesBeen thanked: 2125 times
“what, you have a sister now?, and what happened to your brother?”
Remember I have no interest in transition or doing it full time so at some point her brother will show up again.
- May 3, 2022 at 2:30 pm #642918Gabriela RomaniManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: January 11, 2021Topics: 992Replies: 464Has thanked: 407 timesBeen thanked: 2309 times
Kelly, my mistake. I misread what your question was. I replied what I’d expect to happen in my situation.
If I was to put myself in your situation, then a simple “this is Kelly” should be enough. Why offer explanations if explanations are not necessary?
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