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  • #642858
    Kelly Terry
    Participant
    Registered On: February 26, 2018
    Topics: 46
    Replies: 473
    Has thanked: 633 times
    Been thanked: 2125 times

    This is mostly for us who only crossdress part time.

    I got a question from my sister (who have no problem with me dressed) and I wonder what I should answer to it.
    – Say that we are out and you are dressed and then we meet some of my friends. Should I present you as “my brother”, “my sibling”, or what?

    I often say it doesn’t matter with he/she/they/whatever but presenting a dolled up kelly as “my brother”, is it anything better that can be used?

    /kt

    2 users thanked author for this post.
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    • #643223
      Sarah Kanter
      Lady
      Registered On: April 25, 2019
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 158
      Has thanked: 316 times
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      I think it’s cool that they asked. That shows a lot of thoughtfulness and care, so be sure to acknowledge that.

      To me, it really comes down to personal preference. When I’m dressed up, I look like a guy in a dress. I am not transgender and I identify as a cross dresser (meaning, a guy who likes to dress up as a woman). For me, the “correct” identity would be “brother,” but when I’m dressed up, it is fun to be addressed with feminine pronouns/language/name. When I come here and I’m known as Sarah, using that name is just like putting on another piece of clothing. It’s part of the outfit and definitely makes the whole experience more fun. If I was at a convention, for example, part of the fun of the event would be getting to be called Sarah for the whole time, and being in a place where no one knew me by any other name. When I dress up at work, I still use male vocab, because that’s how I see myself and that’s how everyone knows me, and I think it would be inconsiderate for me to demand that everyone switch back and forth between two names and sets of words just for one of my quirks.

      I know that for some here, their female name is a deep and important part of how they see themselves. I respect that and believe other people should to. I guess the key here is that when a loved one asks you how you want to be addressed, you should recognize the care that represents, and then be able to recognize what exactly the name means for you. And of course, some patience and grace as others fumble with names and pronouns is important too.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #643210
      Jenny Jones
      Lady
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 205
      Has thanked: 150 times
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      So I have a strained relationship with my siblings. Both of them kind of operating on opposite ends of the spectrum. My brother I spend too much time with and I find him an annoying parasite most of the time and my sister has been very long gone and forced to make distance between us and her due to her husband.

      However, ultimately my preferences for how I am introduced varies depending on how I am dressed. If I am dressed feminine I would prefer being introduced as a ‘sister’. If not, ‘brother’ or ‘sibling’ is fine.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #642896
      MacKenzie Alexandra
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: May 20, 2016
      Topics: 43
      Replies: 676
      Has thanked: 182 times
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      That is not really an issue among my siblings as I am not open to my siblings about my clothing preferences.  However, as I do not present as a woman regardless of what I may be wearing,  That being said, I am my siblings’ brother, and I would always expect them to introduce me as such.

      MacKenzie Alexandra

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #642890
      Lauren Mugnaia
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 1, 2021
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 373
      Has thanked: 3958 times
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      Over the weekend I met for lunch with my sister and her daughter, my niece. It was the first time they had met Lauren and they are both fully supportive of my transition. We had a great time together and talked for almost two hours. My sister refers to me as ‘she’ and ‘her’, and my niece said, “I guess I have to call you Auntie Lauren now”. If we are presenting as women or have transitioned then we should always be referred to in the feminine gender.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #642877
      Darcy Grigsby
      Lady
      Registered On: July 1, 2020
      Topics: 34
      Replies: 211
      Has thanked: 67 times
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      Presenting as a female then I would prefer being introduced as “this is my sister, Darcy”.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #642860
      Gabriela Romani
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 11, 2021
      Topics: 992
      Replies: 464
      Has thanked: 407 times
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      I would rather her to present me as “this is Gabriela, my sister”. And then let the conversation flow from there.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #642906
        Kelly Terry
        Duchess - Annual
        Registered On: February 26, 2018
        Topics: 46
        Replies: 473
        Has thanked: 633 times
        Been thanked: 2125 times

        “what, you have a sister now?, and what happened to your brother?”

        Remember I have no interest in transition or doing it full time so at some point her brother will show up again.

        /kt

        • #642918
          Gabriela Romani
          Managing Ambassador
          Registered On: January 11, 2021
          Topics: 992
          Replies: 464
          Has thanked: 407 times
          Been thanked: 2309 times

          Kelly, my mistake. I misread what your question was. I replied what I’d expect to happen in my situation.

          If I was to put myself in your situation, then a simple “this is Kelly” should be enough. Why offer explanations if explanations are not necessary?

          2 users thanked author for this post.
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