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So, we all agree… or mostly agree… that we don’t have to look like a woman to cross dress. But let’s say that you do want to…
I enjoy it very much, I’ve got all the stuff now that I feel i need to be comfortable, but the one thing I feel i need to work on most is my voice and talking. This past weekend I told my wife that, and she said “Then be Bridgette all weekend, all the time, however you’re dressed, and I’ll help you with your voice.” Blew me away…
So girls, what do you need to work on the most? Makeup? Voice? Walk? What else?
Bridgette
Interesting queestion!
I replied “other”. I believe I do well on the others, but there are two areas I’m totally useless at. Well, actually let’s make that one… applying my nail polish! Just can do maybe one nail per hand without having to remove color from everywhere around the nail!
Second one I was thinking about was hair… but finally with some coaching from my hair stylist (it is so cool being able to say that!) I have been able to actually style my hair in very simple ways!Gabriela
I’ve got no choice with hair, I have to wear a wig. There’s just not enough left otherwise!
Bridgette
Brigette,
I’m there with you on not being able to use my natural hair. However, going for lace front wigs I have been able to show a very natural hairline, and since it is glued on (the lace part), it is possible to style it in some “simple” styles. Which have of course caused my wallet to take a hit from buying hair styling products!
Lace front wig glue, solvent, brushes (at least three different ones, argan oil (for wig maintenace, shine, detangling), styling mousse, hair spray, gel, dryer, curling iron, and then hair bands, scrunchies, HELP!!! (I’ll add one “close-up” pic in my wall if you want to see how the hairline look)Gabriela
I’ve been doing my SO’s nails for years – the UV lamp was a great investment and I think we have saved a fortune. She doesn’t ever seem to have wondered why I am acceptably good at it (or at least she has never asked).
I spent the years when I was single doing my own. Sadly, I was going through a period of denial and had just done a complete purge when we met and I’ve never been brave enough to have that conversation!
In terms of what needs work, definitely the voice.
-A.
I need to work on my weight. This is not just to have a better figure, but to fit cuter clothing and feel better about myself.
Hi Bridgette honey, can’t wait to see the red hair!!!…
I voted ” other “….which means everything!!!….I’m not a expert at anything, it all needs fine tuning all the time…I will never be perfect, but I can always try to be better.
never get complacent!!!
Grace ❤️❤️
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Makeup I definitely need practice on makeup. I’m not concerned about my voice, that to me is one of the most difficult things to master so I practice but don’t worry about it. But eye makeup is still a struggle and false eyelash’s drive me absolutely bonkers.
Sandy
I would have to say i need more practice in all of the above.
I think its because Shannon is not as constant of a figure as I would want her to be. I dont have the support of a significant other to help guide me through things,so i slowly practice and practice but definitely need work on them all.Like many other things, I’ve gotten a lot of help from my wife on this, but mostly it’s a matter of what looks good with your own coloring as well as the coloring of the chosen outfits. You’ll find you need a selection, in my humble opinion, of several, which work with the clothing you wear most, as well as a couple that are just for one special purpose or another.
B
Hi Bridgette,
All of the above, but if ‘confidence’ had been an option, I’d have voted for that.
Marti xxx
Confidence has to be another big thing we all deal with to greater or lesser degrees. I’ve gone out a few times now, twice this past weekend, and I still get little pangs of nerves each time, sometimes more than others. I believe the more you do it, the easier it gets, but that’s not necessarily to say that the nerves entirely go away. Like Stephanie says, the more you do a thing the more your building mental pathways to support your activity, like building muscle memory with a hammer. It gets easier, and you get more comfortable. Even the most calm amongst us was once nervous.
Bridgette
I’ve only just reached the point of complete body hair removal (with wife’s consent), and have done so, but am still playing about with ways and means to keep it off. I bought an IPL device, and we’ll see how that goes.
Bridgette
Like many have said all of them, butt at the moment the bane of my life is body hair. I’ve shaved but goes prickly so quickly. I have been trying hair removal creams lately and again within days pricklies are back. I would give anything to find a solution to this. A few years ago tried one of those NooNoo’s but it didn’t work for me!
Any suggestions ladies?
That’s a great idea!
Ditto! I stink @ it & am prepared to incur the wrath of girls who say, “It’s all practice.” Like golf (and no jokes about balls) – you don’t get good by “playing” infrequently…and I know there are videos.
I’m also aware being a perfectionist, “do-it-right-or-bit-at – all” girl doesn’t help. What would is a makeover. Hopefully that happens soon 💋
[postquote quote=467900]
Confidence comes from willingness.
If you truly want to do it, you’ll not only find the confidence, but be surprised at how easy it is to acquire – just by allowing the willingness to drive you to take those first steps.
The first steps will give you a taste for more, so a few more steps you’ll take, and, as you discover that the world doesn’t end, but instead, you feel elated, and filled with happy memories, the drive gets stronger.
That’s my experience as someone to whom confidence was a total stranger – I had panic attacks on the way to family parties – I really, really couldn’t talk or mingle with others.
Probably explains why I am so terribly verbose now – all the stuff I dammed up is pouring out – and I love it!
Oh… makeup is what I need to improve on – especially contouring and eyes.
Love Laura
Hi Bridgette it’s mainly my voice i need to work on, I’ve a very manly voice and when i sing i sound like Lea Marvin singing Wandering Star off Paint Your Wagon,
I’ve been practicing my walk and I’m getting better at that and I’ve been practicing lots of other things too x
Hugs Rozalyne x
Voice for sure for me, and it is the most difficult for me to improve. My singing voice sounds like Gordon Lightfoot doing Carefree Highway… I’ve tried a ‘voice pitch analyzer’ app that tells you how masculine versus feminine your voice is, but I haven’t been able to figure out how to make the change ‘stick’ (like others have said, I might be able squeak out something femme for minute or two and then ole’ Gordon is back!
Marcellette
Hi Bridgette! For me it will always be the voice. I can’t really work on being too tall for heels, so I’ll accept that, but my voice is definitely less than feminine. But as long as I dont stand and keep my mouth shut I could be passable. I just need to find a nice patio and stay seated with a drink in my hand and play the coy quiet girl. 😅
I voted ‘makeup’.
I would’ve said i need work on my voice, but it’s something i think impossible to change, and I’m (oddly enough) okay with that.
Now, the makeup is a true art. I love experimenting with different palettes and techniques, especially eye makeup. Also, we have to tame our eyebrows, often without making it apparent that we’ve plucked/shaped them.
So, yeah, putting on that mask is work, but it’s worth it for how it makes me feel.
Can never practice too much.It’s not my voice that I need to work on as much as my vocabulary . Women’s vocabulary is more than a man’s. At least that’s what I’ve learned after having girlfriend’s that never stop talking. My voice doesn’t give me away when I speak. As long as the conversation is short and I don’t have to talk a lot, I’m alright. What I have to speak I keep it to a minimum, like ordering at a restaurant or saying thank you to a sales girl . My vocabulary is still a work in progress and it’s getting better than it was.
That’s my views on this question
Janine
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All of us are a work in progress, and vocabulary can be a challenge. To me too. After spending the whole weekend last weekend working on voice, vocabulary crept in too. My inner monolog is getting more femme, at least when I’m dressed, and that helps to provide the right words.
Something that may or may not work for you is thinking of movie or TV characters you feel are similar to you (or you wish you were similar to them), and reflect on how they talk. Or friends or relatives… whatever works, honey!
Bridgette
Im really struggling with eye makeup and just cant serm to get the right look. I guess i need lots and lots of practice yet lol
Practice… preferably using less expensive makeup. Watch lots of videos. See what works best with both your eye color (get a color wheel, colors opposite to your eye color will make your eyes pop more), and your eye shape (hooded eyes have different techniques than deep set eyes, or any others). Nearly everything you want to know can be found on you tube through careful searching. You can print a color wheel from the web for nearly free. They’re useful for doing makeup. What I was doing at first was really wrong for the shape of my eyes as well as their color (blue if your curious, and hooded).
Bridgette
Thanks Bridgette i have watched alot on you tube but i have trouble keeping my eyes from blinking when im doing eye liner and shadow
I need to work on my courage. I live alone and I am still the only person who ever sees me dressed. The few friends I have told are not at all interested. I need a live social network of CDs in New York City.
I would think that a place that big would be easier to find similar friends. Maybe when the pandemic winds down some? Until then we’re all here to support each other.
Another thing to consider is the anonymity of being in a city, nobody pays much attention to everyone else, there’s too many there. Should be safe enough just going out for a walk, then build up to more.
I’ve never been there, largest place i lived was San Francisco, and of course there’s almost nothing there that’s considered actually weird.
Bridgette
I voted make-up and I mean all forms of make-up: face, eyes, and lips. I’m going to get a consult at Ulta Beauty once the COVID social restrictions are lifted; also considering private make-up application lessons.
I didn’t vote because the list of things to improve is so long. Britttany I would love a makeup consult with a pro at a place like ultra. But how do I get the courage to walk into that place without at least doing my makeup to my current ability. If I’ve already caked it in on to my satisfaction I’m not sure I’d want it touched. I’d love to just walk in with a close shave and give them a fresh canvas to work with. I guess I need to book a private session with a makeup artist to really get what I want. But I’d love to just casually walk into a place like that and have them go to town.
ME; you’ll develop the courage, if it’s something you really want to do. I went into my local Ulta Beauty and set up a make-up application appointment for a couple of weeks later back in July 2019, both times I walked-in in “male mode”. I had a semi-private event that I was attending and I had never tried make-up by myself and I wanted to look my femme best, the Ulta experience was wonderful and the MUA was non-judgmental.
I went with walk, but that is self induced. 4” heels are hard to walk in at the best of times😂
My goth years gave me plenty of practice make up, so after a long break, I am re-learning those pointers.
My voice I don’t worry so much about, I am being me, I know there is often a strong emphasis on passing, but I just am happy being confident and full of sass.Omg the most thing I need help with is definitely my makeup since I work over 60 hrs a week I have to learn how to do my makeup better that’s why I would love to have a beautiful girlfriend around my area who can help me with my makeup when I want to be ambermaria and go to the malls.my landlady always helps me with my makeup .she is like my mom always happy to have another girl Around
Has to be voice for me. My wife says I walk like a girl (in heels, anyway), and I seem to naturally have a few femme mannerisms. I still can’t do facial contouring, but I consider that the lesser problem.
Bettylou
I saw the one you bought on Amazon, and how much it was… and started looking for a less expensive IPL on there, but that still had a large number of good reviews from verified buyers. I ended up with one from whatever random maker, but was an Amazon best seller and on sale half price. I paid $54, and I see it’s back up to $109 again. I was dead tired when I got home today, so it’ll have to be tomorrow before I try it.
Bridgette
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