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When I first joined here, there was an awful lot about myself that I really didn’t know. The first and biggest realization was that I could actually look like a woman if I worked at it. I never knew that I could dress and present as an actual woman in the past. This was a first for me.
The second revelation to me was that I could actually discuss openly without fear, my crossdressing. While that doesn’t seem like much, it was a vary big deal to me.
Lastly, I learned that I had an inclination to write things like an article, and postings on here, that I was proud of. I actually just discovered that about myself this morning, when I received a personal message from a friend here asking if I had written things outside of CDH.
I know this site is a constant revelation for everyone, and a site full of personal discovery, and I’d love to hear some more about everyone’s personal stories.
I have learned many things over the past couple of years since joining. The biggest thing is that I wasn’t alone in this, their are thousands of us, maybe even millions worldwide. With that realization I feel better about myself and have come to accept this side and with that, I’ve found a great deal of peace. Ty all.
That even though I only want a few select people to know about April. Others here in CDH or others at CD/Trans events. I have a desire for some sort of validation of me crossdressing as April and need to express my feminine side in writing and being open sharing with others. I feel the need to post pictures as part of that validation I had several in the public section, but then got scared when my wife and I struggled a couple months ago after attending an event she felt burdened being the only one in the family who knows of April. She expressed that my male appearance was changing to much with shaving body hair and trimming and shaping eyebrows that they are fine in female mode but I look ridiculous in male mode they are obvious huge changes. Our tensions were high and I removed all my public photos as they are all over the internet I found out. I have since then reposted one in the public section as we have talked and worked several things out. Being on here has created an almost daily need for me to be on here to listen to others and to comment and communicate about things feminine and with those who have similar experiences. I want to share others my experiences to either give support or offer opinions or information to help others not have to experience some of the same negative things I have. We all have struggles at times with our spouses as this is not the easiest thing for most women to accept.
I enjoy helping and supporting one another here on CDH as we all have struggles with acceptance at one time or another in our lives, sometimes multiple times whether it be ourselves or from our spouses. We work towards gaining that self acceptance and to let those we love know this is a part of who we are and that we just want happiness. I love my wife and I understand at times I know she is scared that the April side is growing slowly and wanting to be out more and that she is not happy with changes I make to my male side to accommodate the feminine appearance. I am sure though for me that I do not want to be a woman or to live full time as a woman, I love my male side and enjoy things that I do, besides it is really for me too much work to look and act as a woman. So finding that balance to level the water line so to speak at times is challenging with all sides both my male and female side having to give to maintain a healthy relationship with my wife who also is giving as we work out compromises.
So ultimately I have become more open I write more, I offer more opinions and experiences, I communicate more with my wife both as a man and as April. I want to dress more than I originally thought a few years ago. I also want to get out in public 8 to 12 times a year. I want to be a better husband, father, son, friend, neighbor, I also want to better when I emulate women when I am April.
Great topic!
I agree with Melanie in finding a resource that had people like me that I could talk to, that understood me and had common interests. We are not alone.
Second, now that I have more confidence, I love to go out! It’s exhilarating and it just feels fabulous, I can’t get enough !
Third, with all of the love I received here, I feel a need to pay it forward. Befriend a new member, send someone a note who is going through a tough time or giving someone a compliment…it’s very rewarding to me. My wife sees the value in CDH so much that she has agreed to meet with another wife to help her through it so she even feels the need to pay it forward!
Lastly but it’s something I knew, I have to lose some more weight 🤣 not only to be healthy but now I want to fit into that cute dress or skirt. What ever helps me get there…it all helps.
Love you all!
Carole
My realization is different from most. First realization I had was just how horrible I come off as a female. I expected too much. I know my youthful athletics didn’t help things, but I thought with some makeup, I would look better.
Next, I hoped I could share some of the more intimate details of my why. Aside from a few of my dearest friends, I’ve been told it was too much information! I hoped there was at least one part of CDH where it could be discussed. I do know my why gets into some weeds most don’t want to read about, but….
Don’t get me wrong. I love CDH. My time spent reading about you girls gives me so much hope!
Gwyn
Thank you Jennifer for posting this. It got me thinking about how I have changed since joining CDH. I didn’t realize that I have changed, but I have. I am more open to new ideas and I am more willing to take chances that I would have never taken. (example: actually going out in public for the first time). It is amazing what you can do when you have a supportive community behind you.
Thanks,
JessicaI can not honestly say I learned anything new here, or at other sites previous to here. I have know men dress through out time, so that wasn’t new, and that a lot of men do it, so that is not new either. I had already come to accept the fact that I like to dress before I started down the internet CD rabbit hole.
I guess the main thing I learned is I like to help and mentor others by telling my stories and assuring others they to can do and dress as they wish. Prior to being here (and other sites), I just dressed and went about my business, which I still do, but I have found enjoyment in helping others overcome some of the early hurdles we all experienced and wished we had the help and support of others.
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Not sure what I’ve discovered about myself concerning this site because its a journey no matter but definitely some wonderful positives.
The most important thing I found about this site is knowing I’m not alone and there are probably millions or other crossdressers like me out there in the world with similar issues that I have or have been through.
The second most important thing is all the wonderful support and encouragement from the members. Thanks to the moderators, we can ask advice and discuss issues concerning our lifestyle without fear of being attacked or hit on for sex. Its really a safe haven for CD’s and trans.
The third best thing I find here is the feeling of empowerment from reading all those girls experiences who are brave enough to go out presenting fem in public being accepted and living their fem life either occasionally or daily. Those stories are always uplifting and an inspiration.
Hi Jennifer, what a great topic!
For me, it’s not necessarily something that I’ve discovered about myself since joining CDH (I’ve been trans my entire life), as much as it has been discovering the wonderful community of women here. The ladies who are members here are warm, welcoming, and wonderful! I’m convinced there is not a better community of like-minded people anywhere else, so I’m thankful to be a part of it (especially since I can share my ramblings, writings, posts and thoughts here without fear of judgment).
Hugs,
Holly
Holly, I probably should have asked you to do a poll on this, but it is sure looking like the thing that most if not all have discovered, is that we all have a great place to talk to each other without concern.
So very true, Jennifer, so very true!
Hugs,
Holly
Great topic!!! The biggest effect on me has been acceptance of my self as Tommie. She really is not a different me but a part of me. All of you have been so awesome in your posts in allowing me to get to not know just another online entity but have truly exposed your hearts and souls. You are all sisters to me.
The other thing that struck me was that even in my senior years that there are many others around my age. Not only are there a large number of you sexy seniors you really look great as well. I finally am beginning to believe I am passable even though it didn’t really concern me too much. I am much more comfortable going out as result of my interactions here.
Sorry if I am rambling but this group has really opened my eyes to myself. I really hope that some of us can meet in person sometime.
Love,
Tommie
First, I want to say CDH changed my life. I wouldn’t be where I am today had I not stumbled upon this incredible community 3+ years ago.
That said, I don’t think CDH revealed anything new. What it did do is shine a bright light on the path forward. When I got here, I knew I had gender issues and I knew I had to see where that led. But I had no idea how to move forward.
I felt like I was driving in the dark with no headlights.
This is what I’ve gained since joining:
- Confirmed what I’ve suspected all along….that I’m trans. And that I have an opportunity to be happy. #TransIsBeautiful.
- Friendship where I previously had none. Not just online. IRL too. I’ve met 100+ sisters face-to-face.
- The most accepting and supportive community I could ask for. I’ve grown a ton because of this place.
- An opportunity to pay it forward. Getting what I want from life isn’t free. I have to give back too.
Great thread Jennifer! Thanks!
/EA
For me I was quite settled as I am. Coming to CDH I became part of an International community which is in a safe haven to express themselves and look for help and advice. I like to offer my experiences which may help those who are further back on the path to move forward. There is always something interesting and even I can learn something from the tips and experiences.
Finding this site , like Jennifer, was life changing. The number of us. The fact that almost everyone has, or has had the same feelings and experiences. Most important for me is how I have opened my life to strangers and feel that it’s right to do. Without the kindness and understanding shown, couldn’t do it. So now I daily talk, laugh, and cry with my sisters. SO doesn’t understand, doubt she ever will.
Hi Jennifer and what a great question. For me CDH made me realise i was not alone and that, in fact, other people were exactly like me!! I honestly thought i was the only one, crazy as that sounds. Back in the day, we had no internet and there was very little published so it was either word of mouth or stumble on the topic quite by accident.
For me, its not just the fact that others are like me but how uncannily similar a lot of our circumstances actually are.
Fiona xx
Since joining CDH I have learned:
1. That I am not alone but am part of a very large wonderful community of like-minded ladies.
2. That I am somewhere along the trans spectrum.
3. That dressing fully and going out in public en femme was something I wanted to pursue.CDH played an important part in helping me now live 90% of my life as a woman and being perfectly comfortable with it.
Fiona
Finding CDH was a relief for me. The other sites I found were filled with trolls and ‘sexual deviants’?? Made me feel as if I had to be some kind of sexual machine because I was a CD. Then down the road after writing 4 articles here I was ask if I was a writer, I thought about that but all I have is the desire to encourage others in their CD journey just as others here have inspired me.
. Cassie
Before I found CDH I thought that I was part of a small minority. I was amazed to see how many sisters I have! In a short time after, I realized this was much deeper than some sort of fettish, and more of me finding someone that I think I had buried very deeply away due to societal expectations.
I have made some good friendships here that I am so thankful for as well!
💕Lara
I don’t think it has been so much revealing to me but rather being able to acknowledge what I kept hidden from myself.
I started wearing my mother’s things when I was around 12. I did that for a couple years and out of fear and guilt stopped. There were other times in my life that I thought about dressing but that was as far as it went, however, there were times between marriages that I dressed in lingerie but again only briefly. A couple years ago I wound up in a discussion with my wife and I revealed that I liked wearing female clothing. As a result of that conversation I started therapy. Shortly before that I looked online for information about crossdressing and came upon this site. I was amazed at the number of people that were here. I read the forums, articles and participated in the chat room. I made some friends and received some wonderful advice, over time I was able to offer advice to others new to the site.
I have found CDH to be a wonderful place to be able to share my journey and to allow me to accept my feminine side. It has allowed me to realize that I am not alone in my desire to dress. When I was growing up it wasn’t something you could talk to others about without fear of being ostarcized and ridiculed. With the advent of the internet a window was opened that allows us to realize that we are not alone.
I am very thankful for CDH and the wonderful people that I have met here and those I have become friends with. It is refreshing to know that there is a community where I can share my journey and be a part of others journey’s.
XOXO
SuzanneI have benefited greatly from the support and validation I have received on CDH and I really enjoy making new friends that I can discuss this side of myself with and who totally get it. When I first joined 18 months ago I just partially dressed occasionally in the middle of the night when my wife was asleep. Now, when I can, I fully dress including wig and makeup and I am able to take pictures and share them with a supportive audience. I never thought I would ever post pictures of myself fully dressed as a woman and that people would respond positively to them. It’s been a fun journey and I would not have had the courage to go this far down this road without the help and support of my sisters here. The one down side is that I spend way too much time here:)
I’d tried other sites in the past that were just full of perverts. Since joining CDH it has made me realise I’m not a freak. That there are a lot more wonderful girls out there just like me. Perfectly normal and open to listen without judgment. I’m no spring chicken and had hidden my desire to dress for many years. My wife is the only other person who knows about Amy. I guess the the thing I discovered is I can shout “I’M A CROSSDRESSER” and feel great about it.
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