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Since deciding to finally accept my feminine side about 2 months ago I have noticed some surprising changes in me.
1. I find it easier to relate to others particularly females.
2. I no longer have any desire to view porn.
3. I am loosing weight ( I was a tad over weight, now its coming off)
4. I am more patient and understanding. Stuff that would have made me mad now just rolls of my back like water off a duck.
5. I am more emotional, I’ll cry at certain songs that I have listened to before with no emotional response.
6. I have more self control, particularly with regard to food. I don’t compulsively snack anymore.
I feel I am a better, more complete person since starting down this road. I still don’t understand why I am compelled to wear women’s clothing, I don’t expect I ever will, but just accepting this fact seems to be helping me be happy and whole.
I would love to hear if others have experienced any of this or anything similar.
Cheers!
DeLora, thank you so much for the heartfelt and insightful post. I can relate to most everything in your list. I think I have tapped into a softer and more loving side of myself that some others have commented on since I started dressing more frequently this past spring. I still can be pretty impatient, lol, but maybe not as frequently as in the past.
Rochelle
Very relatable.
I have also strengthened existing friendships with several females at work. Given my vocation of a nurse, I’m surrounded by females. I disclosed to several of my coworkers, and all have been supportive. I especially adore one of my coworkers, who has been enthusiastically supportive… To the point of trading dresses and she has put me in her contacts list as Meghan. I cannot express the joy that woman brings to me for that!
I have also started dieting, because I wanna look better in a dress. I don’t tell everyone the reason for that. Lol.
I know that I relate better to the females in my life, and I’m rather open about complimenting their appearance, clothing, makeup, etc… I don’t care about “losing my ManCard” over gushing how nicely their eyeshadow is done.
I guess primarily I’m wanting to stay toned & in shape , I always have done but it’s enhanced since discovering it all – especially with my love for body con dresses & my legs in heels xx😋 Tiff
For me, I’m not sure I’ve changed that much, and I’ve always got along better with women than men, I’ve never been a macho kind of guy, and suffered from time to time because of that. Though I’m certainly happier and more at peace with myself now I’m sharing my time as Amy.
The one point I certainly am doing, is being more careful with my weight. I’m somewhat health concious, but now I really, really, want to keep those extra pounds off, so I look as good as I can in my femme clothes.
Amy
Yes, to all of the above, except snacks. I’ve always been a nibbler, and I’m losing a little weight, anyway.
Yes! Me too!
And several months later, it’s still happening for me.
The biggest thing for me, after embracing my femme, was also to embrace what I saw as another side to me – I don’t know if it’s feminine aspects, just stuff that’s always been there, but I’ve repressed in case it gives away my girliness.
There’s so much I’ve buried, it’s still bubbling up.
Silence like a cancer grows, wrote Paul Simon.
Well Laura’s here with the cure.
My femme side is being freed (ongoing process to prevent others from being hurt), and so is my mind.
It’s all me, so I’m not really changing, just becoming who I always should have been.
I’m writing first person mostly because I’m curious if anyone else sees it this way.
If it’s just my frantic, exploding mind, no biggie – to me, it’s like the best rock and roll – think The Who, early Pink Floyd, especially on Live at Pompeii, where the music descends or ascends into chaotic noise out of a beautiful tune, and explodes into chaos before reforming. Like a barely controlled explosion – that odd middle 8 in My Generation and so on.
So it is with the femme inside. Sometimes chaos, but I know the structure will impose itself, and the song will return more beautiful than before.
And that gives me trust, hope, patience and attention to detail, not to mention enhanced emotions and empathy that I would have thought pointless before.
Before what?
Before I allowed Laura to taste freedom.
This is where it kinda gets chaotic – I don’t believe there’s two people in one body, but separation is useful for exploration. How far would Laura go? How far can I realistically allow my male side to do that?
And so, bit by bit, I can keep building myself up to follow my potential.
Whether it’s achievable or not is moot – you got to have a dream…
Thanks for the post, I really enjoyed replying!
Love Laura
Laura,
That’s about the same way I see myself; not two separate people, but two personas, only one of which can be in control of this mind and body. For decades, my femme side was deeply buried and rarely noticed, but now that she is out in the open, it’s easy to see who is in charge.She’s always in charge, darling!
There’s a kind of satisfaction in being both dom and sub in one bundle.
Love Laura
Laura
With 20/20 hindsight, I have to admit you are correct. Even before I was aware of Bettylou, she was a big influence on my behavior and thoughts. I always knew I was “different”, but now I know why.
HugsIt’s a bit like having your own private therapist, built-in, as it were.
So many lingering childhood questions answered, aversions and odd behaviours explained – and solutions found.
Yes, more questions are raised, but when you’re able to deal with old sticking points that fog the mind, it’s easier to deal with new things with increasing clarity and calm.
It seems kind of fantastical, but when you’ve been through depression and out the other side, and the nice inner lady has not only been there, been supportive, and been a huge calming influence, it’s useful to see it as the reality it is.
Love Laura
Hi DeLora,
A very relatable post. I’ve always known that I have a strong feminine side and I constantly felt the need to “edit” my actions and reactions. Since I decided to stop blocking Jillian any number of changes seem to happening organically.
For instance, I care more about my appearance. I buy more clothes in brighter colors. Speak in a softer voice, keep my nails neat and polished. I allow myself to cry at movies and roll my eyes at the crude things men can say. Caring for my grandchildren has caused my maternal instincts to blossom .
I’m looking forward to the next change as I continue on my journey
Hugs
Jillian
There’s no doubt that dressing can bring out different perspectives and changes in behavior. When I created Patty I wanted to be pretties and sexier. I would train to look that way.
Also, dressing and being with others, I got a girl’s perspective and understanding on things. It’s also been a thrill,rush and exciting like nothing else.
Hi Delora
I’ve experienced the same sorts of things as you since I accepted my feminine side. I feel I have become a more complete and balanced person. I understand my SO much better – and why she wants more handbags and her need to accessorise; I discuss her clothes purchases with her, also she asks my advice now when buying new items like coats and dresses.
One thing that I like to do now is to shop for bed linen – I love floral duvet covers/pillows.
Alicen
I too gave become more attentive to fashion and the details of personal care. I have found that I’m more willing to engage women in conversation, I show more care for people, and I’ve sensitive to people who could really use a quick cheer or compliment. I’ve also become much more patient with my wife’s shopping, more attentive to her can’t find an outfit woes, and keenly aware of the small things she tries for her look and appearance. It’s a cliche that wives complain their husbands aren’t attentive, but wives of many CDs don’t share that complaint.
I have not noticed the “changes” since I have already been, there done that. I have always had a strong femme side, so most of the things described I have always experienced. About the only change I have noticed is I do pay more attention to appearence now that I dress more. Keeping nails neat, getting a hair cut more often, and other such things. I have always related well to women (and men), and have always been a strong proponent for women’s issues.
I have always been male and still am even when dressed, but I have a feminine part of me since childhood. The only difference is I now express it in dress at times.
Wow, thank you so much for this post and all the wonderful responses.
This really rings a bell, can relate to so much of what’s been said. I feel like the atmosphere around men is competitive whether I like it or not. Especially in social situations … so many times seems like the other person just blabs at will and never asks questions of me or seeks a viewpoint outside their own.
I suppose its not really a gendered thing as plenty of female attention w**res exist also.
However, that internal feeling of being able to let your hair down around certain people, saying whatever’s on your mind, knowing you’re genuinely listened to … is **Glorious**But has only happened in the company of Women, so far…
**Sigh**
Hi Brenda,
Wow I can only imagine the impact that female hormones would have. It must be an amazing and scary experience.
I do not feel the need to the hormones route as I am happy as a man, even happier as a man in a dress 😉 But I do feel that a more feminine part of my brain awoke when I accepted my self.
Its an interesting journey, no mater the destination. Best of luck with yours!
Hi Delora,
I can relate to most of your list. I have always been able to talk with females and males. I’m definitely more in touch with my feelings. I find myself start to cry during an emotional scene in movies. I am more happy and not as angry. I definitely understand my wife’s desire for shoes, hand bags, and how long it takes her to get ready to go out. The biggest change is in the past 13 months I’ve lost almost 70 pounds. Now I have a goal to get that black dress. Accepting my feminine side has made me a happier healthier person. I love being Angela.
Hugs,
Angela
Thank you fir sharing. I can relate to pretty much everything you listed. Especially the being patient part. Also I seem to be more sympathetic now to lot of stuff. Stuff in the past I could care less about. I find myself liking pink, purple and other pastel colors. It’s crazy how the mind works and I’m not even on hormones yet.
Yes, the human mind is an interesting thing. The changes I have experienced obviously come from somewhere in my subconscious, they are certainly not conscious decisions to act more feminine. I’d love to go back in time and do a before and after FMRI study on my brain because I feel like I have awakened parts new parts, or calmed some other parts.
Yes Delora, there have been several changes for me also.
I prefer to sit to pee.
I am way more fastidious about personal hygiene.
I have amassed quite a collection of moisturizers, firming creams, and serums which I apply religiously.
And lastly, I look in the mirror and wish my clothes MADE my butt look bigger.Hugs Mina
Gosh, I’d like to know if I’ve changed. It’s hard to measure when there’s lots of external stuff going on that won’t calm down while I work on nurturing my feminine side. I guess I can say I’m definitely more emotional, which has its ups and downs. About a month ago, I was in a meeting and an executive was painting a very dire picture of the part of the business I’m in charge of – engagement – something you can’t measure in numbers so well. When I spoke up in the meeting, my voice cracked, I basically said something like “You just don’t KNOW all I do for you!” and had to stop because I was on the verge of tears. Nope, no hormones.
Then, at the same time, I’ve had to exert my masculinity on a couple of occasions, and I found it still there. It must have been about 20 years since the last time I stoop up from a table, stared a man in the eyes and said “lets take this outside!” Twenty years, until the other night. (It’s a long story, suffice to say the guy wouldn’t have done what he’d done to deserve the threat if I had been a woman.) Fighting and crying? I need a vacation. Somewhere I can go and try out being a girl full time and see if I can do it. It certainly wouldn’t be here in Burma, but Thailand is just next door.
Wow, what are you ladies doing to me? A number of topics have got me wondering, thinking, dreaming…
But this one has me “on the horns of a dilemma” kind of. I’ve spent most of my life hiding my proclivity for dressing. But now I’m retired, on my own and enjoying the time dressed. I’ve always underdress to some extent, but now I’m free to …
What I haven’t realized is that I do get a little teary eyed watching a movie, listening to music, etc.
I’ve lost 50 lbs in the last year and still going. I’m no longer living to eat but eat to live and drop a size or two. I’m finally going to brick and mortar stores for my clothes and seriously contemplating a bra fitting.
I live alone so I don’t interact with very many people since my closest neighbors are about a half mile away.
I’m so happy to have stumbled onto this community. Lots of questions, lots of answers and some much more contemplating who I am. Thank you all. Guess a girls gotta have friends.
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