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I recently listened to a podcast covering the legends of a fountain of youth. My question is, would you if you could turn back that clock? And possibly do things a little differently.
Myself, having come out to my wife so late think if I could have some of my youth back then yes definitely.
Hugs 💕💋KatieYes, I would turn back time and transition when I was much younger. I would also pick a different career and a different path for my life.
Hi Eva,
I was just having a conversation about this with my wife yesterday. I think I probably would have transitioned if I was young in the current climate of acceptance (compared to the 80’s) but my life would have been completely different for sure. I probably could also use a different career though the one I’m in now has been good to me. I’m currently in my 3rd career but I’d switch careers one more time at least if I was younger.
— Abbie 🥰
If I could return to my body at the age of around 19-20 but even up to about 30 with all my experiences intact, I would absolutely go for it. I definitely feel like my youth was wasted, I know way more about what I want and how I want to live now but the energy is not what it was.
For me, coming out as gay has been a fountain of youth. I feel and act the 27, I never really was. I mean I do have chronic health issues, but they don’t slow me down. Even before coming out to myself, I decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Enough so, that I dropped my insulin by nearly 2/3rds.
without a doubt if had to change things back in younger years would have done my transition awhile back. As for career wouldn’t change that due to being a woman. Do admit have messed things up in past would fix those just to be more at ease. Suppose if was a woman earlier on maybe my dream of being married to a great husband with couple kids and a loving wife.
Donna
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What if??… hmmm…. If I could have a do over I would have NOT gone back to my hometown after military service and would definitely NOT have gotten married. These two decisions would have altered my life completely and I believe for the better. Dreams…. sigh… but we can never go back.
There are many things that I would do differently if I could go back and change them. However, I don’t dwell on the past. Dwelling on the past leads to regrets. Regrets age people.
We all want “do overs”. Several things I would change. I should have stayed in the military. I should have married that flaming hot red head in Germany instead of that ______ back home. Of course I would have had to stay in the closet because of the military but after a 30 year career I could retire and do as I wish, meaning fully out and living as a woman. I know the red head would accept it, I am still in contact with her and she loves the idea of us being girlfriends. She is married to a rocket scientist (really!) who works for the ESA on joint missions with NASA. She travels the world with him but they have never had a reason to stop in flyover land.
If I had retired from the military after 30yrs I would have plenty of years left and enough money to do a complete transition. I also would have avoided dead end civilian careers, bankruptcy and legal problems.
Ahh, what if.
❤
Beth
I keep thinking what if myself. If I had REALLY gotten into CD when I was doing it in 1980 to 82 then I would not have married my wife and had 3 wonderful kids. I suppose it is possible that I would have married someone else, but that may have gone worse than the marriage I did have. Maybe I should go back to raise my kids differently, then my oldest would not have gotten pregnent during spring break her senior year. But then I wouldn’t have my 2 wonderful great grand children.
As you can see almost everything I can think of maybe changing would likely result in some other negative thing happening for me or another loved one.
. . SandyI gotta go against the tide. I’ve seen the so-called butterfly effect (or if you will, chaos theory), how small seemingly inconsequential decisions can lead to very big changes. For example, what if I remembered to take the clothes I packed to the beach so I could go shopping on the way home? Or what if I spent one minute less or one minute more watching my daughter play a video game after changing at home before heading out shopping? In either case I wouldn’t have been at the location and time where I had a car accident.
What if I started crossdressing years earlier? Then I wouldn’t have met many of the people I know. I wouldn’t have been there for a friend I met because of this in her time of need.
What if I told my spouse earlier about my crossdressing? We may have divorced earlier, or never have married. So what happens to my kids? Taken to the absurd, what if you made love with your spouse one minute earlier or one minute later, and a different sperm “won the race?” Your kids (or you, if we are talking about your parents) wouldn’t be the same person. What if my spouse tried even a little bit to work on our marriage? Then I probably wouldn’t have gone for my first makeover and done any of the things I did the past almost 12 years.
My Mom used to tell me that we could have been rich, because her father invented 6-Up.
I can’t possibly see the consequences of changing even the smallest of things. To change something major in my past? I couldn’t even begin to tell you the consequences. Are things perfect? Far from it. Still, I’m not going to play the “what if” game.
I know exactly what you mean, you have to take the bad along with the good. The Joker made batman, and vise versa. So knowing today how my life has progressed we have to say it had to be the way it was. Including the abuse that I suffered, sadly. 💕💋
My current wife and I dated ask through high school and my first year or two in the Navy. Then we had a fight and didn’t speak for 26 years. We each accumulated at least one ex and at least one kid. I wish there was a way to go back and fix that mistake, but the kids we have… so, no, there’s no going back. How I’d love to have the years together that we missed though… she’s my Dream Baby.
Bridgette
Katie.
While my life is far from perfect, I wouldn’t change too much. The “downs” make us stronger people and to change things could have started a ” snowball effect “…..be careful what you wish for.
No ” Back to the Future” for me…
Grace xx
Oh believe me Grace i wouldn’t change much mostly just wish I could have experienced my true self more freely in the younger body I once had. Most of my life has been great, apart from some very dark transgressions against me. And I wouldn’t trade the world for my daughter. 💕💋Katie
I’ll have to admit, your question threw me for a loop for a bit. Since the differences between a fountain of youth and turning back the clock are myriad and profound. I mean let’s be honest, who wouldn’t wish to regress their aging bodies back to the prime of health and beauty, especially now we’ve come to grips with our “special hobby” and gotten quite good at it?
Still though, the question as it stands is less about eternal youth and more about regrets and things we would have done differently. I likely would have given myself full acceptance as I am decades sooner, since I’ve spent far too much of my life living in guilt and shame over Val’s presence in my life. I would have stopped trying to find the “right woman” and realized that maybe I’m okay as a self-actualized person without a SO in my life, that maybe celibacy is something to be celebrated and not feared. And I definitely would have fed my artistic side more instead of falling into the “work to survive” loop.
But hey, those are all things I can change in the years to come!
I would not have sold the ’53 Chevy pickup.
I would be more careful with alcohol consumption.
I would have sought more post-Vietnam counseling.
Jin,
I want to thank you for your service. I for one appreciate our Vietnam veterans.
Love and respect, Jill
Thanks Honey, it means a lot to be recognized. All of us Vietnam vets suffer from the “Rodney Dangerfield syndrome.”
Regrets, I have a few. I think we all do and would love to go back and undo the bad things in our lives. A person with no regrets has led a dull life, or is incredibly blessed, I’ve always thought.
Realizing how much happier and content I am now with myself and my life, I wish I had allowed my real self to come out 30 years ago. I missed out being able to enjoy being me for so much if my life. Would have made life more worth living.
Stevie
OMG Stevie….
I thought you were going to burst into ” My Way “….😂😂😂😂
If it was just turning back the clock, I would have sought further medical attention when a doctor discovered things were not right with my health. Instead, I took the macho man approach and tried to just sweep it under the carpet. Years later, I have to deal with the ups and downs of my current treatment.
Apart from my love of crossdressing I wouldn’t change a thing, living in a very small village in England I enjoyed school , loved motorcycling and still do, ( it’s a miracle in still alive) spent 10 years as an engineer, but always wanted to be an international truck driver, took my heavy goods vehicle test in 1973, and my dream had come true , spent the next 40 years driving 44 tonne trucks all over western Europe. For weeks at a time I would be away from home the main reason I never got married. Retired now for 7 years and love every minute of it, I’ve had a fantastic life its been amazing,
This question which I’ve pondered so many times tears me apart. The one half of me yells yes, I’d turn it back to my teens and transitioned then and lived my life as the woman I should have been but the other half says yes but you wouldn’t have a great wife, 4 great kids and soon to be 9 beautiful grandkids. There’s no question, way too much to lose there.
Hi Katie I stopped with the” what ifs” in my life. I am going to focused on “what is” and how its going to be. They have stolen the description of my life to make a movie!!! The GOOD, BAD and the UGLY. I am going call my lawyer I may be owed residuals. Do you think Clint can help me? or should I say would help me? I have earned every line on this pretty face. NO more what IFS
Luv Stephanie
Ultimately your completely correct, we have to move forward and live true to ourselves 💕💋 Katie
I have do not regret my life, or how it had unfolded. I would be lying, however, if I did not admit that I am curious how my life may have been different had I been honest with myself and my parents when I was outed as a teenager. Being naive and scared, I responded how I thought was expected, which resulted in burying my feelings for more than 2 decades.
MacKenzie Alexandra
Mostly I’m pretty happy with how my life has worked out. However, like so many others have already said I do rather wish I had a way to free Amy much sooner. I don’t think I would have ever transitioned, and as Heather J said, I have a wife and grown kids I love.
There would have been some people in my life who would of disapproved, which are gone now, however I believe my Mother would have been alright knowing she had a daughter, albeit only part time.
That is my biggest regret, first not ever asking my Mom what girl names she had in mind, as I would have adopted that name, and then second, as I said I wish I could have let her meet Amy.
Amy
I wish I had come out 20 years ago 🦋🏳️⚧️
Effie that’s my one big regret,not coming out sooner, my daughter is coming home from Northern California in 3 weeks. I’m hoping to have the courage at that time to tell her. Thanks to CDH and all the lovely girls here I may just be able to do it.💕💋Katie
All the best to you!! 🌸
Hi Katie,
I’m tempted to say “be careful what you wish for” – remember what happened to Ayesha, the original ‘she who must be obeyed” played by Ursula Andress in the film “She”.
My ‘what if’ reveries often include thankful ones. What if my bike engine had seized while doing a ton, instead of when I was just pootling along? What if the cops who busted me had been anything smarter than brain dead? What if I’d been caught shoplifting knickers in my youth?
I’ll settle for having had a lucky life!
Marti xxx
Oh yes, were I a teen today, when things are so much more LGBT friendly, I would def do things differently.
I’d be more open about dressing and pursuing men (thinking about that 8th grade gym teacher I fantasized about! lol). Maybe not full-time dress, but at least be more openly gay and androgynous.
I like to think I’d position myself early to become a man’s trophy wife, which was always my goal, but I was too nervous to act upon it.
That’s a really tough question. How far back? How much knowledge do I get to retain?
I wouldn’t want to go back and just do it all over again without knowing anything. What would be the point?
But, how frustrating would it be to be five or six or even sixteen with the knowledge I have today and no good way to explain how I got it? And how much responsibility would be heaped on you if you went back in time as well? How frustrating would it be to have to live through Vietnam again? Or the 70s and 80s when we knew climate change was an issue but our leaders were too greedy and too ignorant to do anything about it? Or even just to know that AIDS and Covid were coming?
It might be a nice fantasy thinking you might be able to change the world for the better, accept and proclaim you identity more effectively, and everything that goes with that. But I’m enough of a pessimist to believe it would be more frustrating than rewarding.
And I’ve really enjoyed this life, for all its ups and downs. It would be hard to replicate all that good stuff while getting rid of the bad…
The one thing I would have changed is how my kids found out about Carla. Basically, my ex outed me to them and friends, in preparation for leaving the marriage and many years. It cost me a lot in relationship with my kids and even though they know about Carla, I did not have the chance to explain myself. I would hope they might have a greater understanding of how I came to be what I am.
Hugs Carla 💕 Katie
With 20/20 hindsight, I wish I had changed careers from lab to Flight medic early in my career instead of so late…and I wish I had discovered Bettylou some 30 years sooner; but it took the internet, YouTube and CDH to bring that about (I can be terribly dense about some things). But I wouldn’t change what has happened since that fine day.
Bettylou
When I finally accepted that I am a cross-dresser and stopped resisting it back in my 40s, I suddenly felt as if I had been cheated out of my young as a cross-dresser. When I could have looked my best, I couldn’t simply because cross-dressing wasn’t well accepted back then and finding what you needed wasn’t as easy as it is today. So, yes, I wish I could be young today now that thing are easier and more accepting.
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