- July 29, 2021 at 2:18 pm #524665Katie TimeParticipantRegistered On: April 3, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 265Has thanked: 1771 timesBeen thanked: 1523 times
I recently listened to a podcast covering the legends of a fountain of youth. My question is, would you if you could turn back that clock? And possibly do things a little differently.
Myself, having come out to my wife so late think if I could have some of my youth back then yes definitely.
Total of 24 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- July 31, 2021 at 4:39 pm #525618Edie MajeskiBaronessRegistered On: April 7, 2018Topics: 17Replies: 206Has thanked: 26 timesBeen thanked: 528 times
When I finally accepted that I am a cross-dresser and stopped resisting it back in my 40s, I suddenly felt as if I had been cheated out of my young as a cross-dresser. When I could have looked my best, I couldn’t simply because cross-dressing wasn’t well accepted back then and finding what you needed wasn’t as easy as it is today. So, yes, I wish I could be young today now that thing are easier and more accepting.
- July 31, 2021 at 2:44 pm #525559Bettylou CoxDuchessRegistered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 23Replies: 2473Has thanked: 5184 timesBeen thanked: 9365 times
With 20/20 hindsight, I wish I had changed careers from lab to Flight medic early in my career instead of so late…and I wish I had discovered Bettylou some 30 years sooner; but it took the internet, YouTube and CDH to bring that about (I can be terribly dense about some things). But I wouldn’t change what has happened since that fine day.
- July 31, 2021 at 2:20 pm #525549Carla RobertsLadyRegistered On: July 28, 2021Topics: 0Replies: 1Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 3 times
The one thing I would have changed is how my kids found out about Carla. Basically, my ex outed me to them and friends, in preparation for leaving the marriage and many years. It cost me a lot in relationship with my kids and even though they know about Carla, I did not have the chance to explain myself. I would hope they might have a greater understanding of how I came to be what I am.
- July 31, 2021 at 1:46 pm #525532Millicent TeasedaleDuchessRegistered On: August 24, 2015Topics: 13Replies: 202Has thanked: 47 timesBeen thanked: 423 times
That’s a really tough question. How far back? How much knowledge do I get to retain?
I wouldn’t want to go back and just do it all over again without knowing anything. What would be the point?
But, how frustrating would it be to be five or six or even sixteen with the knowledge I have today and no good way to explain how I got it? And how much responsibility would be heaped on you if you went back in time as well? How frustrating would it be to have to live through Vietnam again? Or the 70s and 80s when we knew climate change was an issue but our leaders were too greedy and too ignorant to do anything about it? Or even just to know that AIDS and Covid were coming?
It might be a nice fantasy thinking you might be able to change the world for the better, accept and proclaim you identity more effectively, and everything that goes with that. But I’m enough of a pessimist to believe it would be more frustrating than rewarding.
And I’ve really enjoyed this life, for all its ups and downs. It would be hard to replicate all that good stuff while getting rid of the bad…
- July 31, 2021 at 8:33 am #525419Jenny Thigh HighLadyRegistered On: August 10, 2019Topics: 7Replies: 270Has thanked: 1382 timesBeen thanked: 1317 times
Oh yes, were I a teen today, when things are so much more LGBT friendly, I would def do things differently.
I’d be more open about dressing and pursuing men (thinking about that 8th grade gym teacher I fantasized about! lol). Maybe not full-time dress, but at least be more openly gay and androgynous.
I like to think I’d position myself early to become a man’s trophy wife, which was always my goal, but I was too nervous to act upon it.
- July 31, 2021 at 8:30 am #525415
- July 31, 2021 at 8:27 am #525411MartiBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 5, 2019Topics: 33Replies: 496Has thanked: 1959 timesBeen thanked: 2004 times
I’m tempted to say “be careful what you wish for” – remember what happened to Ayesha, the original ‘she who must be obeyed” played by Ursula Andress in the film “She”.
My ‘what if’ reveries often include thankful ones. What if my bike engine had seized while doing a ton, instead of when I was just pootling along? What if the cops who busted me had been anything smarter than brain dead? What if I’d been caught shoplifting knickers in my youth?
I’ll settle for having had a lucky life!
- July 31, 2021 at 7:54 am #525382Effie JayneLadyRegistered On: February 7, 2021Topics: 31Replies: 1096Has thanked: 1962 timesBeen thanked: 3453 times
- July 31, 2021 at 4:40 pm #525619Katie TimeDuchessRegistered On: April 3, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 265Has thanked: 1771 timesBeen thanked: 1523 times
Effie that’s my one big regret,not coming out sooner, my daughter is coming home from Northern California in 3 weeks. I’m hoping to have the courage at that time to tell her. Thanks to CDH and all the lovely girls here I may just be able to do it.💕💋Katie
- July 31, 2021 at 7:53 am #525380
- July 31, 2021 at 2:02 am #525295Paula FDuchessRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 15Replies: 1413Has thanked: 23154 timesBeen thanked: 5590 times
- July 30, 2021 at 5:42 pm #525126Amy MyersBaronessRegistered On: February 11, 2019Topics: 18Replies: 1522Has thanked: 4335 timesBeen thanked: 4571 times
Mostly I’m pretty happy with how my life has worked out. However, like so many others have already said I do rather wish I had a way to free Amy much sooner. I don’t think I would have ever transitioned, and as Heather J said, I have a wife and grown kids I love.
There would have been some people in my life who would of disapproved, which are gone now, however I believe my Mother would have been alright knowing she had a daughter, albeit only part time.
That is my biggest regret, first not ever asking my Mom what girl names she had in mind, as I would have adopted that name, and then second, as I said I wish I could have let her meet Amy.
- July 30, 2021 at 3:28 pm #525089MacKenzie AlexandraAmbassadorRegistered On: May 20, 2016Topics: 45Replies: 604Has thanked: 156 timesBeen thanked: 1474 times
I have do not regret my life, or how it had unfolded. I would be lying, however, if I did not admit that I am curious how my life may have been different had I been honest with myself and my parents when I was outed as a teenager. Being naive and scared, I responded how I thought was expected, which resulted in burying my feelings for more than 2 decades.
- July 30, 2021 at 1:06 pm #525030Stephanie KennedyPrincessRegistered On: March 15, 2019Topics: 19Replies: 1112Has thanked: 7847 timesBeen thanked: 4661 times
Hi Katie I stopped with the” what ifs” in my life. I am going to focused on “what is” and how its going to be. They have stolen the description of my life to make a movie!!! The GOOD, BAD and the UGLY. I am going call my lawyer I may be owed residuals. Do you think Clint can help me? or should I say would help me? I have earned every line on this pretty face. NO more what IFS
- July 31, 2021 at 4:12 am #525316
- July 30, 2021 at 12:54 pm #525025Heather JamesonDuchessRegistered On: April 1, 2019Topics: 10Replies: 698Has thanked: 1430 timesBeen thanked: 2638 times
This question which I’ve pondered so many times tears me apart. The one half of me yells yes, I’d turn it back to my teens and transitioned then and lived my life as the woman I should have been but the other half says yes but you wouldn’t have a great wife, 4 great kids and soon to be 9 beautiful grandkids. There’s no question, way too much to lose there.
- July 30, 2021 at 12:20 pm #525021Beth TLadyRegistered On: February 2, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 18Has thanked: 21 timesBeen thanked: 89 times
- July 30, 2021 at 8:42 am #524953AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Apart from my love of crossdressing I wouldn’t change a thing, living in a very small village in England I enjoyed school , loved motorcycling and still do, ( it’s a miracle in still alive) spent 10 years as an engineer, but always wanted to be an international truck driver, took my heavy goods vehicle test in 1973, and my dream had come true , spent the next 40 years driving 44 tonne trucks all over western Europe. For weeks at a time I would be away from home the main reason I never got married. Retired now for 7 years and love every minute of it, I’ve had a fantastic life its been amazing,
- July 30, 2021 at 7:45 am #524935Wendy SwiftLadyRegistered On: May 11, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 614Has thanked: 548 timesBeen thanked: 2643 times
If it was just turning back the clock, I would have sought further medical attention when a doctor discovered things were not right with my health. Instead, I took the macho man approach and tried to just sweep it under the carpet. Years later, I have to deal with the ups and downs of my current treatment.
- July 30, 2021 at 7:38 am #524930Stevie SteinerAmbassadorRegistered On: June 11, 2020Topics: 57Replies: 1566Has thanked: 6622 timesBeen thanked: 7898 times
Regrets, I have a few. I think we all do and would love to go back and undo the bad things in our lives. A person with no regrets has led a dull life, or is incredibly blessed, I’ve always thought.
Realizing how much happier and content I am now with myself and my life, I wish I had allowed my real self to come out 30 years ago. I missed out being able to enjoy being me for so much if my life. Would have made life more worth living.
- July 30, 2021 at 7:14 am #524924Jin CrockerLadyRegistered On: November 15, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 420Has thanked: 29 timesBeen thanked: 1260 times
- July 31, 2021 at 8:18 am #525399Jill QuinnLadyRegistered On: July 24, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 64Has thanked: 275 timesBeen thanked: 258 times
I want to thank you for your service. I for one appreciate our Vietnam veterans.
Love and respect, Jill
- July 31, 2021 at 1:31 pm #525526Jin CrockerLadyRegistered On: November 15, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 420Has thanked: 29 timesBeen thanked: 1260 times
- July 31, 2021 at 1:48 pm #525536Jill QuinnLadyRegistered On: July 24, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 64Has thanked: 275 timesBeen thanked: 258 times
My dad served there too and can certainly understand what you’re saying. I think it took the the children of Vietnam vets to show the first real gratitude for what you all went through, and that’s too long.
- July 30, 2021 at 12:33 am #524863Val’sheril StarsongLadyRegistered On: March 3, 2019Topics: 10Replies: 383Has thanked: 264 timesBeen thanked: 866 times
I’ll have to admit, your question threw me for a loop for a bit. Since the differences between a fountain of youth and turning back the clock are myriad and profound. I mean let’s be honest, who wouldn’t wish to regress their aging bodies back to the prime of health and beauty, especially now we’ve come to grips with our “special hobby” and gotten quite good at it?
Still though, the question as it stands is less about eternal youth and more about regrets and things we would have done differently. I likely would have given myself full acceptance as I am decades sooner, since I’ve spent far too much of my life living in guilt and shame over Val’s presence in my life. I would have stopped trying to find the “right woman” and realized that maybe I’m okay as a self-actualized person without a SO in my life, that maybe celibacy is something to be celebrated and not feared. And I definitely would have fed my artistic side more instead of falling into the “work to survive” loop.
But hey, those are all things I can change in the years to come!
- July 29, 2021 at 11:57 pm #524859Grace ScarlettBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 120Replies: 2824Has thanked: 10449 timesBeen thanked: 16017 times
While my life is far from perfect, I wouldn’t change too much. The “downs” make us stronger people and to change things could have started a ” snowball effect “…..be careful what you wish for.
No ” Back to the Future” for me…
- July 30, 2021 at 12:51 pm #525024DuchessRegistered On: April 3, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 265Has thanked: 1771 timesBeen thanked: 1523 times
Oh believe me Grace i wouldn’t change much mostly just wish I could have experienced my true self more freely in the younger body I once had. Most of my life has been great, apart from some very dark transgressions against me. And I wouldn’t trade the world for my daughter. 💕💋Katie
- July 29, 2021 at 9:27 pm #524839Michelle BrownRegistered On: August 23, 2015Topics: 3Replies: 99Has thanked: 93 timesBeen thanked: 313 times
I would have been more assertive in high school ,would have stayed in the Army,got out at 50 with a pension and lived 24/7 as a woman ,whether my parents and relatives accepted it or not.I would have loved to attend college as Michelle.
- July 29, 2021 at 6:59 pm #524787Bridgette VonSmirffLadyRegistered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 39Replies: 1311Has thanked: 17374 timesBeen thanked: 4965 times
My current wife and I dated ask through high school and my first year or two in the Navy. Then we had a fight and didn’t speak for 26 years. We each accumulated at least one ex and at least one kid. I wish there was a way to go back and fix that mistake, but the kids we have… so, no, there’s no going back. How I’d love to have the years together that we missed though… she’s my Dream Baby.
- July 29, 2021 at 6:40 pm #524770Alison AndersonDuchessRegistered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 8Replies: 583Has thanked: 374 timesBeen thanked: 2429 times
I gotta go against the tide. I’ve seen the so-called butterfly effect (or if you will, chaos theory), how small seemingly inconsequential decisions can lead to very big changes. For example, what if I remembered to take the clothes I packed to the beach so I could go shopping on the way home? Or what if I spent one minute less or one minute more watching my daughter play a video game after changing at home before heading out shopping? In either case I wouldn’t have been at the location and time where I had a car accident.
What if I started crossdressing years earlier? Then I wouldn’t have met many of the people I know. I wouldn’t have been there for a friend I met because of this in her time of need.
What if I told my spouse earlier about my crossdressing? We may have divorced earlier, or never have married. So what happens to my kids? Taken to the absurd, what if you made love with your spouse one minute earlier or one minute later, and a different sperm “won the race?” Your kids (or you, if we are talking about your parents) wouldn’t be the same person. What if my spouse tried even a little bit to work on our marriage? Then I probably wouldn’t have gone for my first makeover and done any of the things I did the past almost 12 years.
My Mom used to tell me that we could have been rich, because her father invented 6-Up.
I can’t possibly see the consequences of changing even the smallest of things. To change something major in my past? I couldn’t even begin to tell you the consequences. Are things perfect? Far from it. Still, I’m not going to play the “what if” game.
- July 31, 2021 at 8:28 am #525412LadyRegistered On: July 24, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 64Has thanked: 275 timesBeen thanked: 258 times
I was thinking pretty much the same thing. A slight change now can have monumental consequences later on. We’ve all struggled in our lives, but here we are. Trying to enjoy our lives now, and hopefully, trying to be better, kinder, more compassionate people whether en femme or not.
1 user thanked author for this post.
- July 30, 2021 at 12:57 pm #525026DuchessRegistered On: April 3, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 265Has thanked: 1771 timesBeen thanked: 1523 times
I know exactly what you mean, you have to take the bad along with the good. The Joker made batman, and vise versa. So knowing today how my life has progressed we have to say it had to be the way it was. Including the abuse that I suffered, sadly. 💕💋
- July 29, 2021 at 6:11 pm #524754Cassie JaysonDuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 27Replies: 647Has thanked: 1316 timesBeen thanked: 2973 times
I keep thinking what if myself. If I had REALLY gotten into CD when I was doing it in 1980 to 82 then I would not have married my wife and had 3 wonderful kids. I suppose it is possible that I would have married someone else, but that may have gone worse than the marriage I did have. Maybe I should go back to raise my kids differently, then my oldest would not have gotten pregnent during spring break her senior year. But then I wouldn’t have my 2 wonderful great grand children.
As you can see almost everything I can think of maybe changing would likely result in some other negative thing happening for me or another loved one.
. . Sandy
- July 29, 2021 at 5:46 pm #524741Beth GreenLadyRegistered On: February 24, 2021Topics: 27Replies: 455Has thanked: 2406 timesBeen thanked: 2357 times
We all want “do overs”. Several things I would change. I should have stayed in the military. I should have married that flaming hot red head in Germany instead of that ______ back home. Of course I would have had to stay in the closet because of the military but after a 30 year career I could retire and do as I wish, meaning fully out and living as a woman. I know the red head would accept it, I am still in contact with her and she loves the idea of us being girlfriends. She is married to a rocket scientist (really!) who works for the ESA on joint missions with NASA. She travels the world with him but they have never had a reason to stop in flyover land.
If I had retired from the military after 30yrs I would have plenty of years left and enough money to do a complete transition. I also would have avoided dead end civilian careers, bankruptcy and legal problems.
Ahh, what if.
- July 29, 2021 at 5:30 pm #524731Stephanie GreenLadyRegistered On: June 26, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 112Has thanked: 75 timesBeen thanked: 383 times
There are many things that I would do differently if I could go back and change them. However, I don’t dwell on the past. Dwelling on the past leads to regrets. Regrets age people.
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by Stephanie Green.
- July 29, 2021 at 4:56 pm #524715Michelle McQueenLadyRegistered On: June 14, 2021Topics: 12Replies: 404Has thanked: 1511 timesBeen thanked: 1963 times
What if??… hmmm…. If I could have a do over I would have NOT gone back to my hometown after military service and would definitely NOT have gotten married. These two decisions would have altered my life completely and I believe for the better. Dreams…. sigh… but we can never go back.
- July 29, 2021 at 4:27 pm #524698DonnaLadyRegistered On: January 17, 2021Topics: 127Replies: 2449Has thanked: 15477 timesBeen thanked: 8466 times
without a doubt if had to change things back in younger years would have done my transition awhile back. As for career wouldn’t change that due to being a woman. Do admit have messed things up in past would fix those just to be more at ease. Suppose if was a woman earlier on maybe my dream of being married to a great husband with couple kids and a loving wife.
- July 29, 2021 at 4:16 pm #524694Yumi OkadaLadyRegistered On: July 15, 2021Topics: 16Replies: 67Has thanked: 183 timesBeen thanked: 325 times
For me, coming out as gay has been a fountain of youth. I feel and act the 27, I never really was. I mean I do have chronic health issues, but they don’t slow me down. Even before coming out to myself, I decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Enough so, that I dropped my insulin by nearly 2/3rds.
- July 29, 2021 at 4:14 pm #524693Bobbie WLadyRegistered On: May 18, 2021Topics: 4Replies: 33Has thanked: 104 timesBeen thanked: 181 times
- July 29, 2021 at 4:10 pm #524692Angela BoothLadyRegistered On: August 1, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 263Has thanked: 337 timesBeen thanked: 1160 times
I have often wondered about the ‘What if’. To have done any of the things I could have done would change the future. Would it be for the good or bad?
I have made mistakes and achieved things that I am proud of – I am at a nice place now and wouldn’t change things.
- July 29, 2021 at 3:40 pm #524684Laura LovettLadyRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 29Replies: 1362Has thanked: 4233 timesBeen thanked: 6470 times
I would cross dress, as my heart commands, take all the insults, knowing that, over time, they would stop, and hope, hope, hope that when I eventually met my wife, she would be the same person, and still love me for who I am, not what I like to wear 😊😍🤗
- July 29, 2021 at 3:33 pm #524681Abbie NormalDuchessRegistered On: June 13, 2021Topics: 10Replies: 472Has thanked: 835 timesBeen thanked: 1687 times
If I could return to my body at the age of around 19-20 but even up to about 30 with all my experiences intact, I would absolutely go for it. I definitely feel like my youth was wasted, I know way more about what I want and how I want to live now but the energy is not what it was.
- July 29, 2021 at 2:55 pm #524671AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Yes, I would turn back time and transition when I was much younger. I would also pick a different career and a different path for my life.
- July 29, 2021 at 3:39 pm #524683Abbie NormalDuchessRegistered On: June 13, 2021Topics: 10Replies: 472Has thanked: 835 timesBeen thanked: 1687 times
I was just having a conversation about this with my wife yesterday. I think I probably would have transitioned if I was young in the current climate of acceptance (compared to the 80’s) but my life would have been completely different for sure. I probably could also use a different career though the one I’m in now has been good to me. I’m currently in my 3rd career but I’d switch careers one more time at least if I was younger.
— Abbie 🥰
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