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The end of an old year and the start of a new year is a time to reflect back and look forward. Presumably, we are all crossdressers here, and yet our individual journeys to where we are now have been very unique, monumental and possibly puzzling. Perhaps CDH has even helped us sort through this mystery. It is time to take a pulse and see where we land as we embark on the new year. How do we define our personal gender identity today?
As you said, we are all on our own individual journeys so I’m sure the responses will vary significantly. Therefore I will speak for me alone. I am male. I am a male who has probably a stronger than average (I refuse to say normal because that too is subjective) feminine side and I’ve finally overcome previous fears of exploring that side of me and being as feminine as I am capable of.
I chose non-binary, but more specifically I’m bigender (M/F). I guess that means that I’m technically not “crossdressing,” I’m simply dressing to match my gender expression. As a genetic male, though, I consider myself a crossdresser, regardless of that gender expression. The labels themselves aren’t important to me, but they were useful markers as I was navigating my gender identity and they can sometimes be helpful to others in understanding where I’m coming from. I’m not a woman trapped in a man’s body, but a man and a woman that share this body.
I considered genderfluid but chose two or more identities – as male me I’m male and as Karen I regard myself as female.
Karen x
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Good morning ladies for me I’ve been across dresser for quite a long time but then 2022 have expressed the desires to take it further it’s like when we first start crossdressing you’re always afraid to take that first step out I’ve been out a few times with Sarah I went grocery shopping for an hour at Walmart and not one issue and I loved it it’s like you come to that line in the Sand and should I take that step over to get over other people’s opinions and that’s what I’m struggling with do I want to be a woman most definitely I’m happier but I need to get over what other people think
I would have to say I’m undecided. I am in male mode most of the time and act as such, on other hand when I am dressed I like to think of myself as female. I only dress at home in private so I only need to convince myself of that (there are times I will dress for therapy sessions and my therapist tells me I am pretty or that I look lovely). There are times that I don’t have the opportunity to dress and wish that I could, and there are times I think what it would be like to be a woman. It is all very confusing but what I do know is that I am comfortable when I am dressed and find it to be relaxing. As someone pointed out there are many labels floating around. Why do we have to choose one to be? Why can’t we just be ourselves whatever that may be? I have accepted that I am a crossdresser and have a feminine side. So long as I accept that about myself I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I don’t need to shout it from the rooftop nor bury it so I don’t know who I am. I am proud of who I am and that is what is important in the end.
XOXO
Suzanne
Hi Cece, what a great question!
I chose transgender, simply because regardless of whether I’m in male or female mode, I’m always wishing I was living my life as fully female. Now while I know that will likely never happen, it’s always in my mind and in my thoughts, so that desire never leaves me.
Hugs,
Holly
Hi Cece i voted undecided because i feel I’m two people in one, most of the time my outwardly image is male and that’s how the world see’s me but inwardly i have both male and female moods whichever is the dominant one at the time, I’m not sure how things will go in the future but my female side is becoming more dominant the older i get, maybe my testosterone levels are going down so my manhood is disappearing too and my womanhood is on the rise,
I’m not sure what else i can say to explain it X
Hugs Rozalyn X 🎀
I’m not sure a single check box answer is enough. “Janice” is a girl and her gender identity is female. When I’m not crossdressing my gender is male. Have I thought of myself as trans in the past? Yes. What do I think of the terms genderfluid and bigender? I think they’re useful labels and I’ve used them mostly for other’s sake when crossdressing but I don’t carry them around with me as a guy.
Hi CeCe, well, that’s a good question as, at least for me anyway, it sort of forces me to continue accepting me for who and what I am. I really don’t like thinking about it all that much, I’d rather be doing it, but that just aint gonna happen.
Anyway, as I’ve posted before, I’m a failed transsexual. A woulda, coulda, shoulda story. You know that old poem by R. Frost, The Road Not Taken, well, I keep coming to a whole heck of a lot of forks in that road and I keep making choices which is how I’m now where I am. It would be nice to believe that each choice I made was about solely me and what I thought best for me and me alone, but that’s not always how life works. Maybe in my ‘younger’ days if there had been support groups (which near the big city where I grew up, I’m sure there are lots now), my choices would have different. Or if I understood better that what’s there deep inside me couldn’t really be ‘cured’.
So I am what I am, with long happy marriage, successful and wonderful adult children and adorable grandchildren, none of whom I could ever give up, or cause problems for…or even want a time where none of that would have ever happened, yet still wondering what might have been.
Hugs, ChloëC
I had to ponder this question for a while. I am male, but I desperately wish I were female. Had I known then what I know now, I probably would have made different decisions about my life. I doubt I would have gotten married and would have transitioned to a female life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife and children with all my heart, but I know deep down something’s is missing in my life and at this point transitioning would hurt many people. I now have to live my life dressing when I can and dreaming of a time when I can go out in public as Shawn and show off what I feel is my true self.
I checked off the non-binary one. I am a cross dresser who spends 80% of my time either out & about or at home as Fiona. I’m fine being my male self when I have to but I very much prefer to spend most of my time as Fiona. If we could have checked multiple boxes I would have checked off transgendered as well. I am definitely more along the trans spectrum than some girls and am very comfortable with it. Hormones or surgery are not in my future, I am perfectly happy where I am.
I would have liked to have chosen female, the closest to my real situation is undecided to the extent that I am not prepared to present myself as female in public. In my own private space I live entirely as a woman but do not go out. As I live alone that is the majority of my time. Given I do not want to lose family and friends I am female when possible and male when I need to be. The latter only occurs for extended period when on a family holidays or when I have company.
I’m male. A man in a dress. I dress as a female probably 70% of the time….. Maybe more. The only time I’m dressed in male clothing if I go out with my wife or I’m in work. I haven’t worn male underwear for 10 years or more. 90% of my clothing is female….. But I am very much male. I feel male, I act male, I walk and talk like a male. I just prefer dressing as a woman. It gives me confidence. It relaxes me. It releases me from my depression. I think I look better in girl mode. Smarter, more stylish. I have no desire to be smart or stylish in boy mode. Boy mode is very much just the basics. When I come home from work, I can spend 30 minutes or more deciding the outfit and doing hair and make up etc….. But I am male. My head tells me I’m male. My heart tells me I’m male. I don’t want permanent breasts, or to have any GRS. I do shave my legs, and more recently under my arms, but chest and other body hair will remain.
A friend of mine believes that I’m gender fluid, but I’m not. I’m not. I am a man in a dress, or a short skirt, or leggings, or jeggings…. 🙂Cerys
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