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This is kinda a follow up question to my last post… as a CD or trans what are your biggest fears when going out?
Mine is someone noticing and sturring up a ruckus.. I know logically it’s not likely. And I know it’s in my head..
dont know exactly how I’ll get past that fear when the time comes but I know I will eventually.
what about you ladies how do you push past the fears you have or had?
One of mine was shopping in person for clothes. But I have shopped dressed in drab, once for lingerie for Valentines Day, and once for leggings and a top at Target. Both times, the young ladies that helped me were so cool, understanding and very helpful. Their reaction (or lack thereof) to me put that fear aside…next is shopping as Haley😉
Haley😘
I shop in drab all the time but still get butterflies.. I’m always afraid someone is watching and judging me… just an irrational fear but it’s there…
False Evidence Appearing Real…but it can be paralyzing. Living in Tampa, I don’t very often run into people I know anywhere I go, unless it’s at the grocery store where I always shop, etc. And while nobody really “wants” to be outed, I think it would be liberating in a way. Maybe I’m crazy…OK, I am a little crazy🙃
Haley😘
I live in Lutz, just off Dale Mabry south of Paradise Lakes. We’re neighbors girl…I’m actually excited and hope we meet someday. And, did you mean shopping?
Haley😘
Tonya.
Not wanting to repeat myself after the last post…( put that damn trumpet down!!!…haha).
Being outed…if it happens, it does… it’s like saying I’m never going to drive in case i crash…
Confidence….
Just as i’m ready to leave, i check myself in the mirror….right gracie, time to meet your public…keep calm and tell yourself…your just a woman going out shopping…millions of them do it…i dont stare at anyone, certainly dont look round to see if anyone is looking, thats no no..
just look ahead and walk the walk….soon I’m in MY world, not worrying, just shopping. I have had ” the look”… but it’s never come to anything….everyone else is doing their own thing. The only way this will EVER work out, is if you try…the more you do it, the more confident you will get….
and yes its okay to be nervous, gosh i still get a buzz, but that’s all part of it…..
There’s quite a few girls on here have recently made their “maiden flight”…..maybe they could post and tell how they felt???
Best wishes, grace xx
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My fear is running into someone I know, not seeing them and then they spread the news far and wide. I saw my ex wife once in a store but she didn’t see me thankfully…she has become quite the bigot late in life. As far as having a fear of being out…today I went and bought new sheets from Kohls, some towels and foundation at Target and went grocery shopping at publix as Sandy.
Sandy
I sort of have two fears.
The first fear is that I might not be sufficiently feminine. I do not want to ‘pass’, I am not trying to be female, I just do not want to be only ‘a man in a dress’. A lack of self confidence.
The second is a fear of humiliation. Sticks and stones may break bones but sometimes words hurt a lot more. Commiserate with this is a fear that, if humiliated, I would act in a less-than-ladylike manner.
For example, I have absolutely no problem shopping for feminine clothing. My only concern would be if someone, recognizing that I was buying for myself, would make derogatory comments and I would break a nail while breaking his nose. I would regret that.
Araminta.
The second fear is one of my biggest I can easily defend myself… marine corps and martial arts training have given me that confidence but I would be afraid to just be humiliated in that situation… myself I do wish to pass off in dressed as Tonya… she is who I am… if I’m dressed as my make counterpart he is make that’s how I wish to pass… so I also am afraid of not passing do to mannerisms, as well as looks
My biggest fear would have to be getting caught. I’m sure my Wife knows more than I give her credit for. She’s made comments and said things that let’s me know she suspects something. BUT, getting caught would be the worst. I don’t know what I would do if she were to walk in on me while fully dressed as a woman. I’m sure it would be a major shock wave through both of us.
It would be nice if she would just bring it up and make it easier. I will never bring that up but if she were to do, I would open up about it.Hope I am not sounding overly philosophical here, but… isn’t everyone’s
biggest fear, fear itself? I let fear keep me from going out for many years.
That fear turned out to be needless and therefore baseless. When I finally addressed the fear, it evaporated. What a terrible shame for me to allow that shadow of fear keep me from doing something I so wanted to do for so long! Once I faced it and overcame I had so much fun being myself out and about as a woman!!!
Face your fears girls and they will evaporate. Then you have reality and happiness too.
Just face the fears and attack them head on way I see it .
[postquote quote=455895]
caught you should have wiggled left instead of right walking down the bra aisle.I’m afraid of heights. I’ve still flown a lot, including on and off of aircraft carriers. Fear gets worse if you feed it. And loses power when you ignore it. As John Wayne said courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyways. You can’t be brave if you’re not scared to begin with. So just be brave. Marines are brave, I’ve got some in the family… they’re outnumbered by sailors though.
Bridgette
Marines in the family?
B, you didn’t tell me.
From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli….
If the army and and the NAVY ever look on heaven’s scenes they would find the streets are guarded by United States Marines.
B, 50 years after leaving the Marine Corps it’s still in me.
Once a Marine….
Semper fi. I’ve been out 7 years. Though while I was in I never would have dreamed I’d be enjoying this lifestyle… I mean I was always wearing panties then, when I could get away with it…
I’ve regretted many things in my past but being a marine will never be one of those. What other branch continues to call themselves a member of the branch like marines
we are and will always be a marine
My biggest fears are being physically assaulted by homophobic people while hanging out and being caught by people who can humiliate me or make me lose important parts of my life (or what I want for my life in the future), especially related to housing and career.
In the country I’m still living in, eviction and disowning after coming out are still frequent and, despite the fact I think the actual probability of being disowned, in my case, is low, I’m still afraid of exposing me fully in girl mode.
Hope this year I can progress in this matter, even if I need to walk in baby steps.
xoxo
Daisy
I’ll constantly keep you in my thoughts. The fear of this life is probably taken for granted for some of us… even though it’s never easy… there are places like you mentioned for yourself that can have it so much worse… I know I don’t have a fear of being evicted for it… assaulted maybe depending where I am… I couldn’t imagine walking every day in fear of not only being verbally or physically assaulted… but the possibilty it could lead to way worse…
again my thoughts are always with you
❤️🥰Tonya
Tonya…
Dearest Tonya… it’s ALL about confidence! The more you strut and stick your boobs out the less likely others will take umbrage! They understand when someone struts their stuff that they mean business… it’s mostly cowards and bullies (cowards all) that will run from you! Confidence builds courage… to deal with all of life’s vicissitudes.
I nearly lost my wig yesterday by pulling my shoulder-bag over my head… oops! But, thought I, nobody’s really looking and those that do might forgive themselves for a momentary lapse of reason seeing a beautiful Polly lose her hair for a split second! A smile at them with hair restored… not a problem!
I don’t have that fear… if shit happens, and it will, deal with it then. BUT ALWAYS WITH CONFIDENCE!
Love Polly ❤️💋💋💋
Confidence is something I lost a long time ago.. but have been gaining back little by little and the confidence I have when dressed is way more than when In drab
maybe soon my confidence will instill the same in others
❤️🥰💋
I think all me fears have been realized. I’ve been outed, beaten up, raped, disowned and had people try to humiliate me. You notice the last one I said try, I have a very sarcastic sharp wit and I really enjoy belittling an idiot who’s trying to embarrass me. Turn the tables on them. Your only pointing out I’m dressed like a woman to hide the fact that you’d like to be. If you weren’t checking me out so much you wouldn’t have noticed, what do you like me, oh I see I turn you on and your trying to hide it from your buddies. That kind of thing. Like I said in an earlier post, these people rely on the shock factor, hey look at the freak in the dress. Your completely caught off guard and run away embarrassed and crying. they win.Or do you like me in this dress, I’d bet you’d like to see what’s inside it eh, don’t lie yes you do. Now his buddies are laughing at him and he’s humiliated. Then I wait until he’s drunk and hit on him, icing on the cake.
Thanks, great post, the cold vindictive bitch, Heather.
Hi Ladies , Yes we all have fear’s , i to don’t want to be harmed in any way . I’m 72 yrs. now , all my friends have gone or not around any more and i have no family alive any more , its just me now . My biggest fear ? , is taking my last breath alone , maybe lying in my bed and having no one hold my hand , having never been kissed and held as a woman or made love to . I so wish i could have acted on my fem feelings at a much earlier time in my life . I try not to dwell in this as it is so depressing and i think how lucky i am to have had the time to be the real me as much as i have , i finally feel whole and am glad for finding this place here to have all of you at my side , even if only in thought , when my time comes . I will be brave and will look forward to meeting my Father in Heaven , i just hope i have a pretty dress on and look nice and decent . And to my fellow Marines , i say Semper Fi , all ways faithful , hay . We must all be strong in our feelings as women and know together we are strong and will not be broken . Here us purr , Ladies , we are who we are and change is not likely . Love ya all , Leslie
1. recognized the foremost and most frightening.
2. someone physically hurting me, which is most scaryiest.I have every fear you possibly can imagine. There has been countless times I was all dressed and ready to go out. I opened the door and I froze. There’s been times I’ve been right outside a store and couldn’t get out of the car. There’s been other times I got the nerve to walk right up to the store but fear kept me from proceeding any further.
There always seemed to be a balance of fear and excitement. I would be all excited about going out, then fear would kick in and hold me back. If and when my level of excitement became stronger than the fear, I was able to go out and do what I had imagined and fantasized about doing.
I needed the excitement to build.That was largely based on how much and how bad I wanted to do something. Sometimes it took a long time. I would keep thinking and fantasizing over what I wanted to do. Eventually the excitement got strong enough where I could. I think it’s a lot about desire and persistence.
Hi Tonya,
I underdress everyday and go out in pubic and to work. My biggest fears is pretty much the same as everyone else, getting caught. If I got caught at work well that would be pretty much career ending for me and an early retirement. I dress the way I do everyday because Katey is the real me and two I don’t know maybe deep inside I’m hoping someone will see my panty line or my bra strap. Hugs – Katey
I don’t wear a bra everyday just panties.. idk how I will feel if anyone ever admits to noticing… I’m not really sure a few people I talk to daily haven’t seen them especially today being the highest chance.. I’m wearing a white polka dotted pair…… they are one of my favorites… can’t wait to move though so I can reinvigorate my panty collection… but back to what I was saying lol I wasn’t paying much attention first thing this morning and when I went to adjust my slightly loose pants I noticed my waistband was quite obviously above my pants… which are khakis… and my shirt likes to climb so the likelyhood someone noticed this morning is fairly high… lol guess we will see if anyone mentions them
My biggest fear is rejection I’ve still not come out to my wife and family,
Over the years with being in work my work seemed more important than my wife and i spent to much time at work and not enough time on my marriage,
It’s only since i retired and with this lock down that I’ve realised how I’ve neglected my wife but the last 12 to 18 months has brought us together more and we have been talking and doing more together that i don’t want to upset the apple cart again,
I think Rozalyne has to stay in the closet for the foreseeable future and i hope i can introduce her to my wife sometime soon xxxxx
Hugs Rozalyne x
I love in a very redneck town like I’ve said in another post and race really isn’t much an issue here but most of them are vocal about disagreeing with this lifestyle and like you said I’m petrified of the scene
I can protect myself so I’m not worried about that but would be humiliating I think
I envy girls who can wear heels… I haven’t tried yet… but walking in general isn’t always one of my strong points lol. I’m thinking now that I have my bra, some nice clothes, and my underwear drawer is full lol shoes are next on my list I want a pair of med length heels. And a cute pair of sandals but haven’t really gone shopping yet for them
Advice from someone who loves heels and have a growing collection of them: regular training can reduce your fear!
If you don’t have any experience with high heels, start with lower ones, as the effect on weight distribuiton isn’t so radical. As long as you move to higher heels (for example, 1 inch higher each new pair), you’ll notice that it’s easer to find equilibrium while you keep all your weight over the front part of the feet and while you move back your hips. It’s all about changing the way you stay stand and walk……walk…..and gradually losing the fear.
Another tip is to wear thicker heels at the beginning…..the thicker the easier to find equilibrium.
My heels are all 4 to 6 inch high and I can walk with all of them despite some leg shaking lol.
xoxo
Daisy
Makeup just takes practice. Do it over and over. Got a day when you don’t have things that just have to be done then? Put on your face, scrub it off, do it again and again. You’ll get so much better in no time. Just like the Corps taught you things, repetition. Semper Fi! I’m retired Navy, you got my respect.
In the last nine months I’ve gone from basically I’ve always known this was in me an the way to I go shopping and to dinner and drinks with my wife. You can do this. You got this. It feels great! Was i nervous first time out? Yes, but not as nervous as before a first time carrier landing. Our when I was told “the admiral wants to see you”. That’s some scary shit, this is getting dressed and walking out the door. Like I said, you got this.
Basically, you’re not afraid of any of those rednecks in male mode, and wouldn’t take their crap, right? Don’t see it as different. You’re still you.
Bridgette, USN (Ret)
Yep, Daisy’s advice is sound, take it from one who knows the disappointment of slipping on a pair of 5″ killer heels and tottering about like a drunken sailor – I’m still working my way up!
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