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This is a question that plagues me constantly. When I do go out in public, I want to dress as genetic women do. I don’t want to attract unnecessary attention by dressing ‘differently.’
But when I look around, I really don’t see women wearing what I think of as ‘women’s’ clothes. Instead, I see a lot of jeans, t-shirts, slacks, and plain blouses. Underwear appears to be – when I get a glimpse of a bra or the back of a pair of panties creeping up over a waistband – pretty dull – white or beige or maybe pastel. Mostly cotton.
Don’t get me wrong – I feel completely myself and feminine wearing jeans and Haines cotton bikinis and a simple bra and a t-shirt cut for a person with prominent breasts. Flats at best, but usually some kind of athletic shoe. But when I dress like that I usually don’t wear my breast forms or wig or put on makeup – I just dress as a person, in clothes, as Eddie Izzard says, that are mine – not women’s clothes, not men’s clothes – my clothes.
But a big part of me wants to wear skirts and dresses and hose and heels. But when I do, well, I’m just not dressed like the genetic women around me, and I feel like I’m putting on a show for folks rather than just being myself.
Do any of you have these kind of feelings? What do you wear? Do you just wear what you want, and let people think what they want? Sometimes I’m that brave, but not always.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Millie
Hi Millie…
I know exactly what you are thinking.
99% of the time I wear a dress.
Because I don’t feel comfortable in jeans, shorts, t-shirts etc.
And when walking down the street 99% of the women are NOT wearing a dress.
I don’t feel that I am drawing attention to myself except when in heels and the dress I am wearing is very short.
It reminds of going into corporate office and most of the men are in casual dress while a few are still wearing suits because that is what they feel comfortable in and what they feel is appropriate but they are not drawing attention to themselves.
When my mother was alive she never wore slacks and had one pair of shorts that she wore once and awhile at the cottage. She was always in a dress.
Daniella
My everyday wear is as you described. I see what women wear when I am out and about and really attempt to dress as they do. I like wearing jeans and tees but with a definite feminine style. Shorts in blues & pinks or purple with narrow strap tees are awesome. I enjoy dressing in sexy dresses and lingerie when at home. Makeup, wig and breast inserts complete my feminine image but I don’t venture out like that. I do go out wearing my jeans, shorts and girly pastel sandals with my toenails painted. Can’t really remember getting too many second looks. Interesting question Millie. 🙋♀️hugs, Ally
Hi Millicent! Sweety…..wear whatever you feel like when you feel like it. Look at all the females around you. Yes…a lot dress in “grunge”. It depends where you go and what you’ll see. There is no reason you cannot dress up to go to the mall. Restaurants/dining establishments are fine too. Night clubs…yes..dress up. You are woman….dress in what you like. Just don’t dress in heels and designer fashions to go to McDonalds….know what I mean. If in a large city…downtown in the business district you will all kinds of glamorous females going out on their lunch breaks. No business office allows “grunge”. It affects their “image” and will make no bones in telling employees that. In this day and age society is going to a matriarcial one….women lead the way, men stay home. Things will turn around. The sloppiness of rappers and kids today is disgusting. Hopefully this will die out. I am certain you must have flown somewhere. My day…the stewardess wore skirts, hats, white gloves, make-up and couffed hair. To-day…well…they look ok but not nearly as mysterious and true Lady-like. Now flying is equated to the lowest, grubbiest wino-invested back alley experience. Oh for the days of the China Clippers on the Orient Runs.
Hope this helps…..
Dame Veronica
Crossdressers tend to over dress simply because we want to feel very feminine. The average woman doesn’t wear a lace bar, a silk pantie or a dress for everyday life. Most don’t even wear makeup. They save the fancy clothes and makeup for special occasions. If you want to look like the average woman on any given day then you dress the way they do. This way you won’t stand out but blend in.
Millicent,
I do understand your concern and sympathize with you. I, however, must agree with the ladies who commented previously. Dress how you would like, whether it is slacks, jeans, a skirt, or a dress. As long as the style fits the occasion, no one will be saying anything, other than compliments.
MacKenzie Alexandra
[quote quote=109234]Millicent,
I do understand your concern and sympathize with you. I, however, must agree with the ladies who commented previously. Dress how you would like, whether it is slacks, jeans, a skirt, or a dress. As long as the style fits the occasion, no one will be saying anything, other than compliments.
MacKenzie Alexandra
[/quote]
MacKenzie,
Thanks to you and everyone else. What all of you are saying does make sense. But you also put your finger on the issue for me when you say “As long as the style fits the occasion.”
That’s where doubt creeps into my mind. For example, I enjoy going to Las Vegas, in part because people there seem to deal with things like me in a dress with less drama and more acceptance. However, since I am shy – kind of – and don’t like to draw attention to myself, I still overthink the whole slacks vs. a skirt vs. a dress thing. I would prefer to wear a casual dress most of the time. Judging by the way most of the folks dress who are visiting Las Vegas, that is way overdressed except in the heat of the summer when a sundress isn’t unheard of. But in November, when I tend to go, a sundress doesn’t work. It’s slacks and a turtleneck, and I can dress that way anytime and in any gender mode.
Most likely I just need to get over myself, dress the way I want, and not worry too much about it. And with that in mind, where have you found reasonably priced, pretty casual dresses for a 3X-sized person?
Hello Millicent,
I have to say that you are correct with your observations about GGs and how they typically dress. Dame Veronica hit it on the head “Grunge”. Now I love my “Grunge” coming out of speakers with songs by Nirvana or Supergarden! But not in my dressing. My wife puts on makeup everyday according to whether it is daytime or nighttime out and about and her blouses are not drab nor are her jeans, capris, shorts….her shoes are flats or sneakers, dress flats in the evening. I do not see anything wrong with a casual dress during the day with low heel sandals or pumps. It depends on whether you are in a large city or small town and how they dress. But I haven’t ventured out yet so I can only go with what I see and know. Trust your instincts and you will be fine. TTFN
Danielle
I agree with what has been said about dressing for the occasion. I love sexy lingerie etc. but I love to wear everyday clothes. I work with quite a lot of women in an office and I notice what they wear. They dress smartly but casual. I’d love to wear everyday bras and knickers, smart everyday dresses or skirts and tops because that is what most women wear most of the time. Wear what you feel comfortable wearing.
I find it depends so much on what part of town. Downtown or in the entertainment district people tend to be more dressed up while casual or even drab is the norm in most suburbs. As for jeans and slacks, I think female jeans/slacks are different enough than male ones and I do enjoy wearing them too. I’m always with my breast forms and wig though when in girl mode. I try to stay away from t-shirts that are men’s t-shirts or really guy style pants or shirts that some women like to wear.
some women do where casual dresses around town, especially in the super market after work. you w ill see them out there, or more often knee length skirts of less fancy material, some times denum. simpler is better. low or no heels shoes. I think you can dress rather fem if you don’t over do it. keep makeup to base, touch of mascara on the eyes, maybe thin eye liner, natural lipstick if any. its all about toning it down for daytime regular life even though getting all done up and going out at nite is much more fun !
When I go out in my shiny pantyhose, heels and short dress I get attention. Often it’s just eyes glancing over, many times it’s turned heads. Then there has been many times when I have been catcalled and have been told what they want to do with me. Then there is other times I’ve been followed, pursued and asked to stop and talk.
It’s flattering in a way and scary in other ways. GG’s dressed like me go through this all the time. If they dress down, they get less or even none of this.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>There will always be vigilant people and the people who are in their own world. We stand out no matter what. I’m sure your dressing will evolve and you’ll experience the need to wear things to different events. White capris heels and a loose blouse top can be worn for any occasion. But is it you. Others will be tattooed up skinny jeans. Tight tanks. Some will not even care what they look like. If you’re able to go out I say be you.</p>
Poh my Millie I am sure we all have thought of this. Whenever I go out dressed in a skirt or dress I feel I am drawing attention which I am sure is all in my head. I find myself wearing skinny jeans and capris a lot and wearing flats just to feel like I am blending in.
Thank you all for your positive words and encouragement. It’s clear that people dress the way they want to – sometimes for comfort, sometimes for work, sometimes for showing off. I’m not much of a show off, and as a larger person have to pick my clothes carefully so I don’t look like I’m wearing a tent or something way too tight. That said, I guess I keep experimenting, wear what makes me feel good, and try not to worry too much. Blessings to all of you.
Millie
Hi Millicent,
I guess you have the right of it. Comfort is preferable to trendy fashion or showing off. We who are a bit larger and are in the Women’s sizes struggle to look our best with what designers have deemed works for our body types, even from online sites catering to us. TTFN💋👠
Danielle
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