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  • #131453
    Fiona-Ann Moss
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    Registered On: October 7, 2018
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    hi girls! i’m in a kind of philosophical mood today. I was thinking about what to post today, whilst sitting in the car eating my lunch during dinner break at work. I got to thinking that there are many reasons why people dress femme. I feel this topic might come over as a little contraversal maybe? I dont know, but I figured three main reasons…..

    1. you just like womens clothes

    2. you are femme at heart like a woman stuck inside a mans body

    3. wearing womens clothes is like a kind of sexual thing, maybe a fetish or roleplay.

    ive no doubt, some people would argue that they are a mixture of all three or just two.

    I also got to thinking (its a wonder I actually have time to eat my dinner!) that most men sometime in their lives have worn a pair of their wifes panties, but would never admit it. I admit I have too, even when cross dressing was furthest from my mind, I simply had no underpants, so I made do with a pair of my wifes panties! go on girls, help me out with this one!

    love and kisses fiona xxx

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    • #370331
      Chris Moisan
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      Me…I wear cute satin panties 24/7 and I wear a satin nighty to bed. I do have a $1000 satin wedding gown that I will occasionally ask the wife to strap me into and I’ll wear it around the house. I have worn it to a couple Halloween parties. Strangely…that’s about it.

    • #369875
      Janice Fadden
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      I definitely have bits of all 3 choices. I think I like it this way. I never want to loose the thrill.

       

      Janice

      XOXO

    • #367684
      Juliet Blisston
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      hmm I would say my journey started out as three and still partly is but now it’s also one. Because I genuinely like the feel of soft panties a bra on my breast and a nice flowing skirt or a nice nightgown for sleep or on days when you have nothing to do and think nice day to wear a nightie all day.

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    • #367666
      Helene Bock
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      Difficult question! – for me it has changed with the years as first a more sexual sensation to dress up, then to “de-stress”, while since I asked myself a question; would it be possible to pass as a woman more than 25 years ago, I now enjoy dressing up and going out and just be a “woman”. With this is ofcourse all pleasures of doing my makeup, buying and wearing female clothes plus underwear (ofcourse).  Now when going out nicely dressed as “Helene”, I am a woman! and accepted as such.

    • #363234
      Diana W
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      At this point I can’t explain exactly what drew me to this.  I do feel good wearing feminine clothes, especially a dress.  But I know it goes deeper than that.  I feel I have a feminine persona and I feel her come through sometimes.  I’m pretty sure transitioning is not in my future and I’m not sure how far I want to take this.  Right now I’m just enjoying the experiences that are all so new to me and I’m not worrying about what the future holds.

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    • #363056
      Heather Bali
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      My first time out. Just now at age 66! I have to admit. It took my friend Kettle One and all of a sudden I had this inspiration to put on a tight fitting bra with my C-cup breast forms, along with a loose fitting sweat shirt, and lo and behold, I went for a walk around midnight in a low populated area of Philadelphia. Wow! I had no idea 15 minutes before I did all this that I was going to do it. And did it I did. Practiced my feminine walk – -shoulders back, leaning back a bit, and arms gently swaying at my side with fingers relaxed and curled pointing down to my feet, I can’t express the thrill. I even turned (slightly) towards passing and parked cars as I/they passed. Not sure anyone knew what was up but still thrilling to me. Can’t wait to take even more risks (for me) again soon. Love to all, Heather

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    • #362061
      Carla
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      Hi Fiona Ann,

      I find this a difficult question to answer. Only two weeks ago I confessed my feelings to my wife and it’s been a mixed up and confusing time. I’ve always found women’s clothes exciting  and I love women so much. I seem to be able to mix with women easier than I do with men. The first time I wore women’s clothes was in the early 80s and I would have sex with my girlfriend at the time wearing some of her clothes. Once we split up my experiences were limited to girlfriends clothes and later my wife. None of them ever knew, they would be horrified. As a ‘new romantic’ in the 80s I could wear make up, nail varnish and quite feminine clothes which I loved.

      I also found that I often got turned on by wearing these clothes and the sense of going something that seemed ‘wrong’ to others was so appealing. I have known many transgender women due to my work in the past so have a good understanding of the conflict that sometimes happens. I feel relaxed in women’s clothes, I feel wonderful, sexy. It’s a rare occurrence that I am able to do so.

      After I confessed to my wife she said she would support me and I felt a great weight had been lifted. Nearly three weeks on and I’m not sure she realises what it entails. I want the whole thing, but not full time. My wife doesn’t want me to go out for example with her and I do t think she realised that I would need breast pads, underwear, make up, wig etc. She’s also worried how far it will go. Once I get used to the way of life, will I want more. I must admit that when I am dressed, I get fantasies of being chatted up by a man. I’ve always considered myself 100% straight… until then. Now I wonder.

      Thank you for letting me share. I am fine with being a man but if I woke up tomorrow morning as a woman I would be quite happy.

       

      • #362091
        Becca Booty
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        Hi Carla,

        I understand you.  I consider myself straight. Well at least until I dress up and it’s pretty much only in lingerie as my dressing up is a sexual fetish for me. I get turned on and think about how it be to be with a big strong man.  So I guess you could call me bi curious. But only when I’m dressed up like a woman. Go figure huh.

        Anyway thanks for posting your answer.

        Kisses

        Becca

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    • #358178
      Kim Lake
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      Hi girls, I’m going to be a little bit candid here so apologies if I offend anyone. (That’s got your attention!) This started as a sexual thing for me. In my early relationships with women I found myself fascinated by their clothing and underwear. Although I believe that this is more of a gay thing, ever since I can remember, I’ve also had a real fascination for the look and feel of wet clothing in a sensual and tactile way (not wet t shirt contests!)  and sometimes more stimulated by that than nudity or sexual contact. Some women perhaps understandably, are offended by this type of interest but most of my relationships have been driven in this way. One partner I had actually explained to me that it wasn’t so much the wearing of nice clothing and getting wet that excited her but the effect that it had on me and the empowerment that it gave her.

      I spent many years as a single parent to 5 children and during that time had very few relationships. Out of principle I do not like to watch porn because of its exploitative nature and began to dress in some nice underwear for pleasure when I had some private time.

      As my children got older and I was able to seek relationships I found myself feeling increasingly influenced by my feminine side. My dressing became more a part of my personality and well-being and as I have mentioned in other forums, and to the lovely people who have messaged me I have adopted an androgynous style which enables me to wear mostly women’s clothing all of the time without attracting too much attention. It makes me feel so good and I get a great deal of satisfaction in doing so.

      Despite my increasing feminine influences there is still a significant sexual side to my identity as my GGF enjoys my dressing but despite my explanations will only accept it as a fetish/roleplay thing and refuses to acknowledge that it could be any part of my changing identity.

      I find myself playing with the idea that one day I would like to have some degree of intimacy with a man who would take pleasure in me wearing feminine, sensual clothing in almost a reverse role situation that I held in my earlier relationships.

      Can I just say a big thank you to all you girls on the forum for being there for me – I joined the group in February and at that time would never have dreamed of being able to open up like this in an open discussion.

      Hugs

      Kim x

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      • #359406
        Amanda Clay
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        Hi Kim,

        Thank you for your candid thoughts.  Your story sounds similar to mine.  I found myself amazed at how good panties felt the very first time I put on a pair of girlfriends panties because they were simply the closest thing at hand.  That was 25 yrs ago.  I have been trying to find self acceptance ever since.  That is why I have joined this site.  I very much need to be able to love all of myself.  I have experienced a wide range of emotions that drive my desire to be and feel femme.  Sometimes that includes a desire to be free of the weight of my masculine world.  Sometimes it just feels safe.  It seems like CD takes me all over the emotional map. Something along the lines of terrific to terrifying.  I would probably be labeled a sissyboy.  Not to sure what to make of all of that.  I hope to find greater self acceptance and thusly inner peace by joining this site.  Thank you again for your sharing.

        Mandy

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    • #357691
      Brittney Andrews
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      All three reasons listed have influenced my CDing:

      #1 Growing-up I developed a curious liking for the soft silky nylon/rayon material of dresses from the 70s and early 80s. I always wondered how it would feel to walk in a dress and how the hem would move with my legs.

      #3 My grand aunt allowed me access to her wardrobe of dresses, panties, and slips. This is the roleplaying aspect of my early CDing; She allowed me to play dress-up.

      #2 This has been my more recent influence and the reason for #1. The reason I liked soft silky nylon/rayon is because I have a feminine spirit. I consider myself gender fluid. I’m not a woman trapped in a man’s body and I don’t have gender dysphoria. This and other reasons(marriage, family acceptance, and finances), I have no plans for HRT or SRS. However since 2016, I’ve decided to express my fem side and since 2018 I classify myself a social CDer. I dress en full fem within my local transgender community.

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    • #356659
      Anonymous
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      All three really, mostly 1 and three though.

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    • #356338
      Nick Lacroix
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      I have to say 1 and 3 when first started but maybe a little of 2 as well

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    • #356228
      Steffanie James
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      For me it’s a mix….I have always had a femme side, crossdressing is a way for me to express that side of me. When I let steffanie out I want to feel sexy, I want to feel like I’m attractive. Steffanie has evolved and continues to as I get more in touch with her, I can’t wait to see what happens next!

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    • #356122
      Joanna Huston
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      All 3 and I love being a woman that I was meant to be!

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    • #356097
      Janice Fadden
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      Can I pick all of the above?

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    • #355736
      Stevie Steiner
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      I would have to say long ago it was #2 with a fair dash of #3.  For many years now it’s pretty much #2.  I was lucky enough to be honest with myself a long time ago in that respect.

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    • #355733
      Alana Teal
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      I think for me it started with 1 and into 3. My sister’s always had nicer looking clothes than I did. And certainly their panties were prettier and better than my boy underwear.

       

      Now there is a certain amount of 2 involved, though I’m not even close to being passible, so I relegate myself to underdressing in panties mostly, sometimes pantyhose or leggings too. I sleep mostly in panties and a T-shirt. I’m the colder months, I have a pair of Cudl-duds women’s pajamas that I wear. They are not too girly so I even wear them around the house when my daughter’s are home and I think they have no clue they are women’s pjs.

       

      I completely wax below the waist and wear panties 7/24/365. My wife likes my chest hair, so that is here to stay at least for now. I really dislike my bodyhair and I think wearing a pretty bra with hairy chest and shoulders would look ridiculous.

       

      I’m a pretty woman inside a man’s body. As I said, not even close to being able to pass, soI don’t really want to transition as I don’t like taking even an aspirin or other drugs so HRT is a no go.

       

      My wife let me try on her thigh highs the other night. She didn’t even bat an eye at my request.

       

      So for now, I’m content to be a girl inside and wear pretty panties, the girlie the better, pink and flowery. And occasionally sneak in other girly outerwear that I can get away with.

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    • #355703
      Jenny Jones
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      For me, I think it started as a 1/3 thing, but over time the three was gradually replaced by 2. But mostly one still. I enjoy women’s clothing, but I do think that a part of that reason is because its women’s clothing. I enjoy the switch from my traditional masculine identity to a feminine one, not to the degree of wanting to transition, but to the degree I want to keep this side around as much as possible.

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    • #353684
      Nick Lacroix
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      For me I enjoy dressing up both as a sexual thing and it brings me inner peace. I feel extremely confident when dressed.

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    • #353672
      Michelle Tiffany
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      It seems like I started by wanting to wear the clothes.  I have always loved the clothes and it’s always so exciting to be dressed.  It really never gets old.

      However, I do also have a very strong feminine feeling inside and I would love to dress mostly full time and let my femininity flower openly everyday.

      So, I guess mainly a mix of 1 and 2, with a little bit of 3, but 2 is the strongest feeling inside of me now.

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    • #353274
      Kay Anderson
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      I am definately #2. I was born with a female spirit and soul. Wish that I was born with the physical body too. To me this is more than dressing up part time. I can’t transition right now, but keeping my mind open for the future.

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    • #352403
      Ria Freichuk
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      I have always liked wearing women’s clothes. I started as a child and have never stopped.

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    • #346229
      Simone C
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      Hi Girls!

      I’ve read a lot and thought a lot about this topic, and come to the conclusion that I (and many others when I read above) fit the category of “dual-role transvestite”. This is someone (of either gender) who dresses temporarily in the clothing of the opposite gender to experience what it is like to be or to take the role of the opposite gender. There is no desire for reassignment treatment, and it is not a fetish for clothing as such.

      Actually it used to be more women doing this because male-dominated society didn’t allow intelligent women into certain places and roles, so they dressed and behaved as men to experience it without prejudices. There is plenty of literature of women dressing as men for that reason, and I am sure many of them shared our fears of how society, family and their SO would react if they had been found out. There were happily also notable cases of the SO or male friends supporting them, recognising the hypocrisy of society then, and science and literature are better for it. There were of course some for whom it was sexual, many though simply recognised they could not experience or achieve something without temporarily presenting as male. Of course, women have the advantage here that it is easier as a woman to pass as a rather small, fresh faced man than it is for a large, athletic male to pass as a demure, svelte woman. I also think society then and now is more forgiving of women presenting as men (no one reacts to women in jeans, try wearing a skirt as a man though!)

      The real dilemma for me in the past was how to align this with the obvious thrill of wearing soft, sexy clothes. Surely that is a fetish? It was when I was talking though to a GG friend it fell into place. She said “I LOVE wearing something sexy, you think we buy all that lace and lingerie for men only? I get SUCH A BUZZ walking around knowing that underneath my plain business suit is a super hot set of lingerie. Wow! And at night that long slinky nightgown isn’t only for seduction, it feels good!”

      That nailed it for me, for those of us who want to experience being a woman sometimes OF COURSE getting that buzz from sexy lingerie is part of the whole thing. And yes, that is what I want. How does it feel to be a GG, sometimes in loose weekend clothes, sometimes in more sexy dress. I am being a woman, not fantasising about lingerie as such. When I am Simone I take on a feminine persona as much as I can, to experience as much as I can what that means.

      This has had some really great moments, being out and a woman admiring my dress. Yes, and I do say a woman, as she clearly saw me as a fellow woman at the time. It was an appreciative comment, woman to woman, which felt great.

      I’ve also experienced the downside of aggressive men trying to come on to the woman I was at the time and not taking the “no!”. The anger and fear I felt as a woman at that moment was real. It was not a fear of being outed, so what if I were? In some ways fun to see the idiot’s reaction to finding he was trying to hit onto a MAN! No, it was the fear that as a woman I was both at a disadvantage culturally, and that somehow this idiot thought it was OK to leer at my boobs and make lewd suggestions.

      Being in my two alternative genders lets me get a real understanding and respect for BOTH genders and the pluses and minuses of each.

      I have no desire to change permanently (I quite like my alternative), just wish I could alter the body shape as easily as I slip into the mental state of Simone. Damn, and figure out how to get the make-up right!!

      Best wishes to all of you across the spectrum, where you are is yours, I’ve found mine.

      S

      • #355650
        Lacey Faradae
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        Very well said, for this topic the answers and combinations of the answers can vary tremendously, although it’s clear one we all can agree on is how wonderful it makes us feel…

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      • #353545
        Erica Carlson
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        You nailed it girl!! Xoxoxo

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    • #345832
      Sonia Nylon
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      I am 1 and 3. Started as 3 and it still is a lot of 3 but 1 is more and more becoming eqaul to 3 after doing this more or less 35 years. I just love to be Sonia,  either the casual Sonia or the more glamorous or also the slutty one.  I love walking around in the apartment doing hously things, watching TV etc etc.

      I am Sonia 3-4 times a week.

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    • #344399
      Heather Megan
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      Like a lot of the girls here, I think was a journey through all 3, though there will always be aspects of each. Definitely started as an admiration, appreciation of and desire for women’s clothing, then as I got older became for fetish than anything, and was tightly tied to a hyper sexualized context, but though maturity and self-actualization through dressing more and understanding my own feelings, made me realize it was #2 and coming to know my inner girl and let her free

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    • #342587
      Kimmie
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      Sarah,

      No need to be ashamed. You’re among friends.

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    • #342551
      Stef Smith
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      Sarah hi

      great post

      i think for me i m a combo

      i don’t think i have a femme side in the sense that its used here but i do like the clothing a lot. The variety in style and fabrics

      i d be lying if i said there was no sexual Component because there is just not all the time. Sometimes i ll just dress up in lingerie and watch porn pleasuring myself. Its definitely not as often as it was BEFORE i ridded myself of shame and guilt! Now its just when i want to role play.

      also a big change was going full time panties and mixed clothing : eg femme jeans and sweater panties bra toes panted light make up but still look toally masculine

       

      that was a huge change along with acceptance

      so i m like 1 and 3

       

      steff

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    • #342466
      Jennifer Maybe
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      When I first started is was a sexual fetish for me with just sexy lingerie, but it is now an important, therapy for me, I feel very relaxed when dressed and take my time getting ready and enjoying the experience.

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    • #342161
      Sarah Lacy
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      Is it a cop out to say ” a bit of all three?”

      #1. Always loved the styles of womens clothing, the silkiness, touch, feel etc. From an early age when looking at glamour photographs always had a strange inkling to wonder what it would be like to be wearing the clothes that the models in the photo shoots were dressed in. Those thoughts have never really gone away just that the range of clothing especially intimate underwear has increased over the years.

      #2. As for this, certainly not femme at heart, genuinely enjoy  being male but feel more in touch with my femme side (whatever that means,) calmer, more reasonable and less aggressive in thoughts after a spell of dressing.

      #3. This is the big one for me. Always has been a sexual thing for as long as I can remember. I think it is a combination of the sensuality of wearing female intimates against my skin, the sexual arousal, fetish, perhaps even the long held guilt complexes of dressing and who knows what primordial mix of emotions cross dressing stirs up within me. Whatever the reason the very thought and activity of dressing is a sexual thrill and despite being a guilty burden sometime it is always ever present.

      In summary, quite a bit of #1, a trace of #2 and rather ashamedly a profusion of  #3.

      Sarah

    • #340610
      Anonymous
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      Really good topic. Thanks. I definitely have a combo of three. Used to repress but now celebrate. Hooray for this site and wonderful gurls like you to talk to.

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    • #339262
      Celeste Jo
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      Depends on what I’m wearing, if it’s more ‘normal’ clothes it’s because I just enjoy the feel and getting to be ‘someone else’.  While I am comfortable being male most of the time sometimes you just need a break.

      If I’m wearing something sexy though then it’s definitely a sexual thing.  But then I imagine a gg would get a sexual rush too from wearing something uncomfortable but super sexy looking for her SO

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    • #338843
      Anonymous
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      Loving reading through all the responses! For me it’s a majority 3 and 1 and a little bit of 2. I love the feeling of dressing in women’s clothing. Most of that feeling is sexual. Dressing puts me in a different mindset and I enjoy having a man treat me like a woman sexually. I sometimes do wish I actually was a woman to get the full experience.

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    • #338743
      Anonymous
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      Hi I can honestly say I’m feminine at heart I have always know I’m truly a girl inside and want to become the woman that I am. When it comes to sexual orientation I’ve always worn lingerie panties bras ect. And have always felt humbled being the girl in our encounters.

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    • #338044
      Rosiebeth
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      Well Fiona

      you are right.  For me it’s all three.  I just love to wear woman’s clothes.  The look, feel and of course looking pretty and yes I love feeling like a woman all dressed up thinking I should have been born a woman along with those role playing fantasies that are extremely sexual.   So I love all three of your points.

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    • #337869
      Emily
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      Number 2 is probably the closest match for me. I have experienced the feelings of the other choices as well. But at this stage in life, most definitely feel trapped in the wrong body and am only truly content when at least partially dressed.

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    • #336526
      Margaret The 50th
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      #1 is definitely growing. It used to be #3 mostly, but when en femme, it’s 90 % #1. When not, when fantasizing, then it’s more like the other way round. As I have taken more opportunities to dress up, the more all round feeling of joy has been taking over.

      #2 might be part of some fantasy, but even that rather externally, having breasts etc.

      Ask me again later! Also a little bit afraid of where I am going with this.

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    • #336444
      Roberta Isaura
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      A bit of all 3, but #3 is definitely a big one.

      I get really excited with the idea of dressing up, of wearing a woman’s dress or piece of clothing that I’ve seen being worn by a woman, or at a shop’s window, or some online photo.

      When I’m dressed up I can’t help feeling myself. If unfortunately I can’t dress up I close my eyes and get carried away…

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    • #334513
      Anonymous
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      Re Bobby 1951 posts. I don’t mind responding publicly since I have trouble with private texts on occasion. I am at FD so will try and make it short. Plus I may not be alone in this issue and some may learn! I may have minimal androgen insufficiency! It is rare and that’s all the 2 professionals I have been to can figure out. It started with a testosterone injection because I was feeling cold a lot more. My T-level was panic (13). Nothing more said but maybe I have been exposed to lots of chemicals and I took a steroid named Dinabol for spec-ops and power lifting but no more than a year so rules that out.

      All this took 5-6 years. I am not sure if that is a blood test diagnosis and it may just be bits and pieces of lots of things but the T-shots put things in gear and even though both sexes have all 3 major hormones the more shots the greater my estrogen and progesterone! I actually enjoy having more female hormones. It really chills be out. The only stressful part was a very slow male things and size change and my wife was so good to me. No hormones we know will shrink male parts per se. I am getting breasts but slowly and wife and I are both happy about that.

      Accepting was not just ,” Oh cool”! It was traumatic at first. I began with panties and was open with wife from beginning! I accept for last 2-3 years I am a female. I used to say from breasts to knees. My wife is so supportive and we try humor because we also both have stressful jobs. She has helped me learn to dress right but I have my own fashion style also.

      I made a joke to her about surgery and she laughed. Its fine just as it is..you are more intimate as my lover. I didn’t plan surgery I just wanted her to laugh! I have already posted so many positive effects dealing with PTSD..hence I am fine just as I am. As far as actual causative effects it may be a combination. No more docs. I went to urologist 8 months ago in panties and even called my girl thing by its girl thing name. His reply was as long as you as accept yourself .

      I love this site..I have met super people sharing and growing from others!

      Sorry it’s long again!  Have a great day ladies! Stay safe!

    • #334442
      Michelle Dixie
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      hi there. Number two mostly. I would dress and be a woman as much as I could if I could. There’s a touch of number 3 also. I do feel more like a women when I’m dressed as a woman. I’m more comfortable and look at things a different way.

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    • #332739
      Timea Jane West
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      For Timea Jane, the fetishy, sexual component is definitely a part of it. I’ve always loved women’s clothes, shoes, and I enjoy being feminine, but I’m tempted by myself, enjoy pampering my legs and feet, and entertain fantasies of being a woman sexually, so that’s definitely a larger part of the equation. Interesting question to ponder!

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    • #329546
      Bethany Delaney
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      I’d say anymore

      10% number one I think women’s clothes are so much softer sexier and I love the way they fit and feel against my skin and I love being completely shaved. I just wish I didn’t have to shave at all. Hopefully soon

      80% number 2 I really have come to realize I’d be a woman in a second if I could. I’m not sure I could give up everything and my sons mom would not accept me at all. She didn’t accept my dressing and has nothing but horrible and derogatory things to say about anyone that is trans between my business and my son I’m not sure I could transition. But I may make the move sometime. I’ll see how the next couple years go

      10% number 3 the clothes are sexy and that used to be my major reason to dress but now I realize I’m really trans it’s much less of a component. But I still find myself far more likely to feel sexy as a woman than in drab

    • #329490
      Sabrina Walton
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      Hi fiona ann moss,

      Nr 3 . L feel such a sexual kick,feeling whats its like to be like a woman .The feeling of wearing all there lovely clothes and underwear is so erotic. It makes me calm and happy. l only dress one a month,with my wifes involvement. We pretand to be lesbians and watch only lesbian porn. So fn exciting. Would love to do it twice a month ,but wife says no. When its all over, then get the clothes off quick. All the guilt,shame ,embarrasment,all comes flooding in. Mainly because l have 3 older boys in the house. If they found out,l would die. If they were not home, then l would dress for hours and would not panic to get the clothes off after a session with wifey. It is not fair that woman have such a lovely choice of clothes and especially their underwear,men like all those soft fabrics also. Woman dont know how lucky they are. l suppose if your born a woman then itsall taking for granted. They dont get the excitement l get when l put on there lingerie,some perhaps do but most might not.. Sabrina

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    • #328518
      ChrissyBee
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      A little of all three for me!!

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    • #327479
      Araminta Purdy
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      Yeah, that matches what I read. A delayed menarche or tests for infertility seem to be the usual paths to discovery. In one case a blood test came back marked ‘male’, much to the lady’s dismay. I saw no mention of late-onset hence my surprise. But, perhaps, there are numerous mild variations. Perhaps males who have a tendency to femininity in behaviour and appearance have inherited that predisposition. Perhaps a bit too speculative. i wonder if there are any recent, significant studies available?

      Araminta.

    • #327460
      Araminta Purdy
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      Hi, Bobbie.

      Actually I was writing to Lisaff Norman but I am not used to the formatting on this site and saw your name at the bottom and thought it was your message. Sorry about that. Also this site does not (apparently) ‘nest’ responses so it gets confusing.

      AIS is Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. As the human body develops, both before and after birth, hormones determine the anatomy. Male hormones ‘masculinize’ the body, especially at puberty. For some males the male hormones are ‘blocked’ so the body develops along a sort of default, feminine format. CAIS is Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. The person develops female genitalia, breast, etc. but male reproductive organs internally (i.e., testes) which remain internal. To all appearances they are female until appropriate tests are done. They grow up, marry, live as wives but cannot conceive. I rather suspect that there are more instances than are suspected. It sort of like being on testosterone blockers and Hormone Replacement Therapy naturally (?).

      Apparently it is a matter of epigenetics, which I do not really understand. Something like the masculinizing genes are not activated. So, I have heard of this manifesting in youth and it is generally effectively treated in its ‘milder’ forms by taking testosterone.

      Again, it is evidence to me that both males or females can be masculine or feminine depending on circumstances and what one does with those circumstances. Something I do not believe has been done is a study to see if there is any correlation between AIS and cross-dressing.

      Araminta.

       

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      • #327464
        Bobbie1951
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        Ah. When i was still in practice it was called Testicular Feminization Syndrome and only recognized congenitally.  During my residency we diagnosed a very nice 16 year old daughter with it while working up why she never had a period.  In those cases the individuals appeared typically female until puberty simply never happened.  Her case was even more challenging because she was the dependent daughter of a Royal Saudi Air Force captain about to rotate back to Saudi Arabia.  The social issues were staggering.  i was not aware of a partial or later onset version. 

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    • #327304
      Araminta Purdy
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      To Bobbie1951:

      I have not heard of late-onset AIS. It must be traumatic at times but, as they say, “This too shall pass!” You seem to be adjusting as best you can and finding some benefits. You can imagine the shock received by CAIS ladies when they learn that they are actually male. They tend to dramatically contest that conclusion.

      AIS and especially CAIS is one of the instances that to me validates the concept that one does not have to be female to be a lady. As difficult as it may be to live with such a physiological anomaly I have to admit that, at this time at least, I am a bit envious.

      Araminta.

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      • #327342
        Bobbie1951
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        Thanks Araminta.  i am not sure what AIS &CAIS are acronyms for.  I actually do not feel that i am transgender but rather that there is a distinct femme aspect to my personality but not a distinction, independent personality as you might see in Multiple Personality Disorder.  i simply use the name Bobbie to describe me on those times i express my femme side but i also have a mascuside.  Just watch me on a hike.  i prefer to allow both aspects of me to be expressed independently though i am looking into hiking kilts and even hiking skirts

    • #327235
      Anonymous
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      i am in a wonderful marriage and i really never thought of fem as being me. i have always had a type-A job and an average size penis “until ” 12 years ago. i am retired spec-ops because we can retire after 15 years. i did take steroids but things were changing a few years later. i am blessed with same doc for 18 years. My testosterone was a panic level low and that’s ok as they have shots but we also noticed changes with shots. My estrogen and progesterone levels were going out of site. To shorten the story. I have to have some testosterone for my health but i was diagnosed with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. I just developed it late in life. My wife and i struggled because of changes down there and breast beginning to form. My foreskin came back with vengeance and i was losing both length and girth. i was also working hard at the gym to maintain my athletic body as i did it in my job! Finally my wife and i talked as we do everyday but the subject material was on me becoming fem. I could fight it or accept it. Intercourse was becoming difficult because of length so we decided that night our marriage was more important as long as we were intimate! she told me your way too masculine to ever pass but from nips to knees your a girl. I began to wear intimates and felt normal! we celebrated a year later with a men’s underwear burning. I am at home in skinny jeans and tank! We do have some neighbors who know since we mostly have hot tubs and parties. Some guys feel as if my wife needs a big male thing. She is pretty open and tells me she is very fine with me! I do wear a duty uniform to work but generic white panties underneath. My wife’s favorite quote to me is ,”clits belong in panties!” I enjoy it! I wear a 40B! I am dressing more. My wife and me have a normal marriage and we do have fusses but its not sexual fusses! Is life stressful yes but having been a navy seal and my current job stress is normal way of life for me. I am a girl now period! Yes! i was introduced to this fem thing by a physical anomaly but i do understand the hormones and respect all who are male and feel like they should have been born a female or are struggling with themselves. Be who you are and enjoy!

      • #327258
        Bobbie1951
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        You are one lucky guy/ girl!  Your wife’s acceptance of your situation and your creativity as a couple is actually quite remarkable.  Best of luck to both of you

        Bobbie 💋💋❤️

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      • #327257
        Bobbie1951
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        You are one lucky guy/ girl!  Your wife’s acceptance of your situation and your creativity as a couple is actually quite remarkable.  Best of luck to both of you

        Bobbie 💋💋❤️

    • #327192
      Pamela Miller
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      #1 – I absolutely adore women. I love the fashion choices available to them, the look and feel of the clothes and fabrics, the colors, the lacy intimates. I love their hair styles and their eyes and their smiles and their scent. And their legs, oh their legs!  And butts. I didn’t date a lot when I was younger, so I used to explain my dressing as “being the woman that I couldn’t date”.

      #2 – I have a lot of women in my life – family and friends – so I think that helps me see, understand, and empathize with their perspective. It helps me be more compassionate and nurturing. And because of #1, I really want to look like them. I want to be pretty and admired the same way. But only when I’m enjoying “Pamela” time, not as a permanent change or permanent presentation.

      #3 – Dressing is a little bit of stress relief by stepping outside of myself for a little bit. But primarily, dressing for me is fetish, erotic, and sexual. My origin story is sexual and that’s mostly where it has remained. I would say 1% emotional and 99% sexual.

      I’m so glad I found this group and someday I’ll have pics to share.

    • #327168
      JSX1575
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      1. you just like womens clothes:

      Definitely. They feel so much better. love the fabric against my skin and how female clothing hugs my body, highlighting my curves.

      2. you are femme at heart like a woman stuck inside a mans body.

      Not in my case. Everyone is different though.  I respect everyone’s thoughts on this.

      3. wearing womens clothes is like a kind of sexual thing, maybe a fetish or roleplay.

      Guilty as charged. This forum isn’t really geared towards sexual talk, so I will leave it at that.

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    • #325264
      Seraphina
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      Mmmm, I thought I’d replied to this but then I can’t find it…..

      Like many other ladies I feel a mixture of all three.
      1. I love the look and feel of women’s clothing, lingerie, makeup and nail colour. I’m always checking out what other women are wearing, what makeup, real or false nails (not judging, just observing). I’ve had to repress my personal dressing throughout my life but having recently come out to my wife I’m planning on giving this side of my personality some air. I’m also conscious of the ‘softer’, less confrontational, more conciliatory side of the female psyche (something the world needs a lot more of imho)
      2. I don’t know, sometimes yes, sometimes no. If I could just click my fingers now, would I change? Maybe I would, but half and half would be better</p>
      3. definitely plays a big part in my dressing, maybe because it’s always been repressed and time to dress is often rushed and private. My upbringing and environment have also reinforced/highlighted the taboo nature of these desires/compulsion/fetishes. The initial rush I get from dressing and doing my makeup normally subsides if I have time and space to be replaced by an inner calm and peace.

      S xx

      • #334154
        Kim Rose
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        <p style=”text-align: left;”>Seraphina – that’s pretty much word for word my own experience, feelings and thoughts on this! It’s like you’ve stepped into my head and answered for me, and that’s  a wonderfully comforting thing! x</p>

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    • #325260
      Renea Day
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      Well, Fiona-Ann, this is certainly thought-provoking.  In the course of a day I may focus on any one of these but I’ll try to give you my overall perspective.

      #1– Probably my strongest agreement.  Women have it all over men when it comes to clothing.  Fashion is so much more creative and comfortable with so many more opportunities to look and feel pretty.  And the fabric feels so much nicer against bare skin.

      #2– I have my days when this can cross my mind; when my emotions run high when I hug my granddaughter, when I send my daughter and son-in-law back home out of state, when I’m weeping at a Hallmark movie, but mostly when my mother’s words ring in  my ears about my sensitivity and compassion.  Even as male as I think I am, I identify so much more as a woman in many of my thoughts and actions.

      #3– Most definitely a sexual thing.  Women are so much more sexual and especially sensual. Being expressive and caring are so much more female traits and I do identify very strongly with these.

      I hope this helps, you really have me a reason to think about it (in a good way).  Keep the thoughts coming and enjoy your lunch!

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    • #325259
      sandra saunders
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      Hi, I have just seen this post and had to reply, for me it was just sexual even at the age of 7. It has developed to me wanting to look attractive and yes wear lovely clothes, it saddens me GGs don’t make the most of their choice in what to wear as they have so many lovely options that men do not. That is before we start on make up, putting foundation and eye make up and the rest also makes you look younger something men cannot do ( unless you a feminine gay man ). Now I am intrigued by what it would be like to date a man, of course he would have to be just right for me with a nice personality not to mention drop dead gorgeous lol.

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    • #325113
      Seraphina
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      <p style=”text-align: left;”>Like many other ladies I feel a mixture of all three.
      1. I love the look and feel of women’s clothing, lingerie, makeup and nail colour. I’m always checking out what other women are wearing, what makeup, real or false nails. I’ve had to repress my personal dressing throughout my life but having recently come out to my wife I’m planning on giving this side of my personality some air
      2. I don’t know, sometimes yes, sometimes no. If I could just click my fingers now, would I change? Maybe I would, but half and half would be better</p>
      3. definitely plays a big part in my dressing, maybe because it’s always been repressed and time to dress is often rushed and private. My upbringing and environment have also reinforced/highlighted the taboo nature of these desires/compulsion/fetishes. The initial rush I get from dressing and doing my makeup normally subsides if I have time and space to be replaced by an inner calm and peace.

      S xx

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    • #325110
      Samantha Murphy
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      Mostly #1. Women’s clothing is prettier, more comfy and feminine. Men’s clothing is just plain boring to me. I’m trying to learn to appreciate men’s fashion, but I don’t care for it. I feel the #1 rule of men’s fashion is to look at the article of clothing and ask 1 question. Is there something on it unnecessary or fun, if so get rid of it.

      #2 I wouldn’t say I feel like a woman trapped in a man’s body, but I’m just beginning to explore my femme side now.

      #3 I’ve experienced some arousal at first, but nothing too strong and not every time I dress. I wouldn’t say it’s a sexual thing.

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    • #325090
      Reese Fields
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      It used to be an escape for me.  I would take a bubble bath and enjoy a glass of wine.  After working with my therapist, it’s become clear that I want to live my life as a women.

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    • #296025
      Deborah Sullivan
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      I feel like I have two lives. I have my friends from work and recreation and then a group that knows debbie since they too are cds. I so enjoy my outings and gatherings with the girls and being myself. At times if might be a fetish but with time it has become just natural like this is who I am today before stepping out

       

       

       

       

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    • #274942
      Chloe Helfers
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      It’s all 3 for me, but the first time I was told I looked happy when dressed up made me realize that I truly am a girl stuck inside a boys body. I’ve always always felt so out of place, and like an outcast. When I dress up I feel comfortable in my own skin.

    • #274171
      Rozalyne Richards
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      I must admit it’s a mixture of all 3, when I first started crossdressing it was mostly a sexual thing but the older I’ve gotten it’s more that I just like to wear womens clothes, I’m still in the closet because I’m married and my wife doesn’t know about my crossdressing life, I’m not sure she would understand, if somehow my marriage was to end I would dress 24/7, I’m not sure if i would take the next step in transitioning I’m not sure if I’m to old I’m in my late 60s, we can only see what happens in the future when it happens, I do like wearing women’s clothing because of the colourful clothes they are so much prettier than drab men’s clothes x

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    • #274170
      Marcie May
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      Hi

      I think I have always had a part girl in me, when my mum was pregnant with me she had a really hard time, and at one point the doctors told her that she had lost the baby, after further test they found me.. I understand that I was meant to be a twin.

      My dressing started off as a sexual thing, but I have always loved girlie things, now I older I want to take my dressing to the next level, dressing up is no longer sexual but feels so right, its who I should have been.

      Unfortunately my family would not understand so I have to stay in the closet, but I am going to make sure that I at least fulfil part of my desires by secretly learning how to be a woman, maybe one day someone close will understand.

      I have a makeover booked in March, and hopefully they will make me up into what I have dreamed I should be.(or what I should have been)

      I love this website, although I am new it gives you so much advice and, makes you feel that you can do things that seemed out of reach.

       

      Love you all…xxx

       

    • #274166
      Kimmie
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      My feelings and background is similar to yours (except for the marine part).

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    • #274161
      JamiLin Anthony
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      I know I am not alone, but I am a contradiction.  No more a split personality.  I enjoy my male side and revel in that.  I am an alpha male in most of my life.  Profession, past history, Marine, College athlete.  But since my early teens, I have been fascinated with women, their personalities, their nature, their way of thinking, their sexuality and everything.

      Oh yes, and their fashions and clothing.  I love both the male side and parts of me want to feel exactly as woman does.

      But I am deep in the closet and can dress only from time to time.  So my category is most of the things mentioned.

      I would really like to find a like-minded friend or two nearby.  Even em-mails and chat to share.

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    • #270774
      Angel Deville
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      For myself it’s a bit of all three in a weird way, like at times it’s a sex thing and others I feel like a woman.

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    • #269826
      Alice Black
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      Hi. This is Alice Black and here is my response to your forum topic.

      I love wearing woman’s clothes. The colors, the look and the feel all are a magnet to me. Men’s clothing is plain and boring and can not compare.  I would say 60% my reason for dressing.

      I have begun to feel more a  like a woman as I get older.. Some of my body parts are  just feminine in nature( and I did not do anything to take them in that direction – no waxing or hormones ). I would say  20% my reason for dressing.

      Last but not least, some of woman’s clothing does stimulate the sexual part of my being. I would say 20% my reason for dressing.

      Alice

       

       

       

    • #269732
      Araminta Purdy
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      I refer to what I am as an athenist and ‘dressing’ is athenising. To me ‘cross-dress’ is pejorative suggesting that males should not be feminine or pretty. Athenising is the use of clothing, cosmetics, accessories (especially shoes), scents, posture, walk, speech, intonation, etc., etc., to create a feminine persona with the goal of being as attractive as possible. In short, I dress to be pretty. After that it gets tricky.

      The difference between a ‘cross-dresser’ and an ‘athenist’ is that a ‘cross-dresser’ is being faulted because of their sex. An athenist is someone who tries to be feminine regardless of their sex. While it is true that most athenists are female I see no reason to assume that the behaviour should be restricted to females. So, to me, it is not always ‘cross-dressing’, it is just ‘dressing’ and lots of people do it, some do not, some are male and some are not.  It is just being human.

      I took the term from Athena who feminized Pandora through clothing, accessories, etc.

      Araminta.

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    • #269727
      Anonymous
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      Hi. I find that, these days, I dress to suit the way I feel. I class myself as gender fluid so I dress to suit my uppermost self. Some days femme, some male, some mixing it up. Always in trousers, always in heels (makes my legs look longer). Some days full femme, some with my man face on. I hVe even worn my current goatee beard and long boots. Dress to be you. Yoy are always beautiful.

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    • #269705
      Marlene Roberts
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      “I like being a man, and I like being beautiful. You be the judge if you must, but I am me.”

       

      Great attitude.

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    • #269672
      MeeShell Turner
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      Hi girls,

      As all of you have, I’m sure, I have thought about this alot. My reasons boil down to:

      I do dress in female fetish type lingerie for erotic stimulation occasionally, but there are many other things that stimulate me that way also.

      My actual dressing is inspired by the fact that I have a deep desire to feel pretty, and in turn, to feel good about myself. It doesn’t seem to be dependent on gender per say, but my brain is wired to “feminine” being beautiful, therefore, the more feminine I look AND act, the more beautiful I feel. I definitely enjoy the feels and textures of feminine clothing, probably for the same reason.

      I like being a man, and I like being beautiful. You be the judge if you must, but I am me.

      Hugs

      Meeshell

       

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    • #269624
      Julia Morton
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      I am still in the closet. Once in awhile I get semi dressed wearing gender neutral cloths, no wig, no boobs, no jewelry, a hint of makeup, and clear nail polish with clear mascara. Then I go shopping for womens cloths in the better stores. I just tell the clerk I am looking for something  for my wife’s birthday.

      I like to blend in with tight fitting jeans, an untucked paisley blouse and sandals. That is as far as I go in public. I at least feel better!

      I love womens cloths as they have better styles, better fit, and lots more colors to choose from. Men’s cloths are boring! However, I noticed that more men are wearing the stretch jeans and pink shirts and even jumpsuits and rompers at the beach. Very cool!

      Why do I do it, I don’t really know. I gave up on that one. I just do it when I feel like it. My wife is a straight arrow and won’t tolerate it. She doesn’t want to be embarrassed she tells me.  So I remain in the closet 🙁 most of the time. She has not realized that times have changed and LGBT is more acceptable now. Not to make waves, I maintain a low feminine profile. CD only when the opportunity presents itself.  That’s my story.

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    • #268457
      Kathryn Black
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      I have felt the need to be a woman for many years now. I can’t say when this need began but it a need I can’t explain. Thank you for the encouragement

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    • #268423
      Marlene Roberts
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      Sorry, sent before I had finished my thought. It was the surname “Maidenform” that I thought cute.

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    • #268420
      Marlene Roberts
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      Love your surname! And agree that women’s clothes are so much better, lighter, colorful and better fitting when you get it right, than men’s.

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    • #268349
      Brenda Maidenform
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      Definitely 1,3

      No.1 I like women clothes because they look and  feel more comfortable them mens. It men would get past the ladies part and tried the right kind of panties they would know that they are far more comfortable them mens by a mile.

      No.3 putting on sexy lingerie makes me feel sexy and that will arouse me.  It improves my sexual times with my wife and me. Shaved legs are more sensitive to touch and nylon just feels great.

      I do not want to be a women or try to pass as one.I just want to wear what I feel looks good and is comfortable to wear. Thanks for the question.

       

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    • #267834
      Robin Snow
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      Hi Fiona,

      Definitely a 1.  I absolutely adore wearing women’s clothes.

      Somewhat a 2!  I have always had  female side.  No enough to transition.  Dressing is my way of letting he out.

      Somewhat a 3!  I find the anticipation or recap o dressing to be arousing.   Dressing just feels right.

      Robin

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    • #267806
      Tara April
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      More of #1
      It’s NOT a fetish
      Also i know i not TG women.

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    • #267784
      Beachingirl
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      All above I just love being a woman

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    • #267708
      Frederica Woodbridge
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      Definitely 3, and a bit of 1.

      My wife died from cancer 7 years ago (sound familiar?, and since she was 5 feet 10 inches, I kept some of her clothes, and particularly a pink dress.

      Before that, I’d cross dressed when I had the chance, from the age of 15, when I started wearing panties and nylons I stole from washing lines. While married, I’d wear my wife’s bras and pantyhose when I got the chance, and bought a pair of heels, which I hid for use when I had the chance.

      As time has passed I have bought many items; skirts, dresses, shoes, wigs, forms, bras, panties, stockings and pantyhose. I dress whenever my son is not home.

      For 10 months or so, I met a woman who indulged me. She bought me underwear, made me up and we went out together to restaurants, stayed at hotels with me fully en femme. By the end of each ‘adventure’, I was exhausted. I never felt like I could relax, and when we returned to the hotel I undressed rapidly. Looking back, I think the difficulty was that I always felt under a microscope.

      We are no longer together, and I go out on my own now. There is no pressure and I can do whatever I want, in my own time. I drove to the Delaware shore last week, stopped for fuel, bought some beer, fully en femme, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The feeling of fresh air on nyloned legs under a skirt while wearing heels and bouncy breast forms was amazing. It still is.

      It’s very liberating; no-one notices.

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    • #267096
      Anonymous
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      Nikki, I feel exactly the same way. The more I crossdress the more I feel sexually aroused to get dressed and while dressed and have an overwhelming desire to be with a man while dressed.

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    • #266186
      Danielle Anaya
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      Before that first day my 10 year old self went into my mom’s room and thought “what would it be like to wear those shorts and that wig?” I don’t think I ever even considered wearing female clothes.  Something un-explainable happened to me when it happened.  I think it was a fetish at first, but fascination with how girls walked, talked and dressed differently than boys quickly became powerful.  Not being much of a ladies man, I could be friends with a lot of girls and started learning their mannerisms, how they moved, and how they talked.  I became obsessed with femininity.  I wanted to be a girl.  I love wearing women’s clothes.  Now, I live my life presenting as a woman, and except when I actually think about it I don’t see the man I was before.  The sexuality thing is still confusing for me because I am still naturally primarily attracted to women, even though I have been intimate with a few men as Danielle and have enjoyed that part of it too.  I don’t think I will ever fully understand how all of this happened.

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    • #266084
      Hanna Wannabee
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      Hi,

      I fall into 1 and 3, I love dressing and it also gets my motor running, and I have the fantasy of playing with a similar attired gi

       

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    • #265875
      Dana “Jennifer” Banton
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      Number 2 for me.  I can’t say that I welcome the feelings but I have to be honest.

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    • #264955
      Gina Perone
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      Yes to all the above. Lol. I enjoy the softness of some of the clothes I wear, from panties, pantyhose to skirts and dresses. It’s mostly a sexual turn on for me. I’ve enjoyed being with other cd’s dressed in the past. I’d love to find others who feel the same way and explore more dressed

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    • #264924
      Brittany Lov
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      I know personally I’m a number 2 I’ve been dressing since as long as I can remember thanks to my two sisters who I love and adore , who to this day have no real idea what they really started way back when , whenever we have a gathering and they like 2 talk about how they used to dress me up , I never quite used the time to inform them that I never stopped . I have asked myself many times where I see it all going , sexually there is an arousal for sure thanks to an unfortunate situation in my very young days I was introduced to Men and their desires , and that puts a whole different spin on things kind of reshape my hole idea of dressing as a woman or at that time a girl I have engraved all my experience is good and bad they made me the person I am today a wonderful loving caring person

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    • #264835
      Christinajane
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      I am 99 % sure I am a number 2. All my life I have related to females how they look and act. It takes a lot to say that I actually have feminine thoughts and feel at peace when I am not fighting them off – after many years of trying to run away from them I now just let them be and I am happiest when I embrace them and am just one of the girls.

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    • #263401
      Jamie Sweetly
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      Definitely all of the above for me. I’ve always been very sexual. I had many girlfriends when I was a teenager and loved being with them so much more than boys, both for sexual reasons and just plain good friendship. I love women’s bodies. I love sexy men. I love sexy clothes. I love flirting. I love skin against skin. I love deep, serious conversations. Sometimes I want someone to sweep me off my feet and make mad love to me in my mini skirt and panties. I would love to have the freedom to dress as a woman openly whenever I wanted. I love the act of making myself pretty and sexy. I love just sitting around watching TV and doing household chores in lacy panties, tights, and a slinky halter top. I love putting on make up, shaving my legs. Lately, I’ve been plucking and shaping my eyebrows and growing out my nails, partly because I want to and partly because I want to see if anyone notices and says anything.  I’m a hopeless case. Sometimes I’m such a pent up fem that I can’t believe I’ve hid it for so long!

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    • #262923
      Pattie Obarito
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      Why?  How?   What is wrong with me?

      questions i have asked myself for 40 years.   I have spent much time reviewing my childhood And self-analyzing.   I have reached some conclusions that seem logical to me, thought i had it figured out, but…..

      after all of this, here i am apparently no closer than i was.   In my short time on TGH i have seen many comments from others saying that it never goes away.   i see no evidence to indicate they are wrong.
      you can quit if you put your mind to it.  I did for more than ten years.   But indubitably here i am…..

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    • #262921
      Nikki Bae
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      #3 for me.

      I just love the feeling of getting dressed up.  putting on a bra gets me so excited, panties too.

      I consider myself straight until dressed, then I want another man in lingerie with me.

      • #263021
        Becca Booty
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        Nikki you put it perfectly for me.  I am straight but bi curious so when I put on some sexy lingerie I want another man with me too. Either a man dressed up sexy like me or a big burly man to take me.

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    • #262677
      Rachel Williams
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      Gotta admit, it started at 3.  But over time, it progressed into 2 with a touch of 3.

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    • #262665
      Anonymous
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      One and two

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    • #260983
      Alexa Baxter
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      Im waiting fo that stage where my crossdressing will evolve into something much more deeper and personal. because Right now it is absolutely a fetish and sexualised experience for me. I would say that other types of womens clothing only mildly interest me  With next To no interest in shoes and such, but when it comes to lingerie and swimsuits, Im just full on and ready to go.

      • #261019
        Becca Booty
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        Alexa I’m in the same boat as you. But I do like a sexy pair of heels to go with my lingerie as they make me look sexier. It is a fetish for me and very sexualised.  Maybe we can chat about it some time.

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    • #260950
      Madelynn Fox
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      I know for me it is definitely 2 and 3.  I love to allow my Venus side out when I am dressed.  I love to turn on my female brain and let Madelynn free.  With that, Madelynn has no problem wanting to feel like a woman with a man!  Plus, no matter man or woman, everything is better when I’m wearing fur!

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    • #259166
      Bobbie1951
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      i find that i both enjoy fetishistic crossdressing when in BDSM mode; i look for a Domme who like sissies and feminizes her subs.  i am on my own right now with a vanilla wife but i find i enjoy letting a mature femme side out as well.  Heck it sounds like i have multiple personality disorder

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    • #259141
      Kimmie
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      I’m definitely in the minority here, but for me, it started as a fetish long before I had any idea what a fetish is. For whatever reason, that has never changed.

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    • #259136
      Anonymous
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      I crossdress for two reasons, though the dominance of one reason over another has changed as I have gotten older. Initially, crossdressing was a fetish. Then, as the process of crossdressing evolved and my understanding of this aspect of myself grew in sophistication, the act became more about artistic expression (i.e., I love the illusion, essentially performance art, and the challenge of altering my body to simulate a feminine aspect). The fetish part is still there, but at a lower level.

    • #258918
      Marlene Roberts
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      For me it is 98% number 1. Women’s clothes are just better styled, colorful and varied. Even the jeans, such as Gloria Vanderbilt Amanda, fit me better as the band is elastic to some extent. I have more bras, panties, dresses and stockings than my wife, who approves of my wearing them; she sometimes buys me presents such as ear rings and panties and shows interest in my new wardrobe additions.

      On our weekly date night we go out with as much common clothes as we can: matching bra, panties, undershirt/chemise, jeans, shoes and stockings. I wear a ladies shirt (it buttons differently but nobody notices that I believe), but no makeup or wig, and just one ear ring. I would love to go out full en femme but in our small town that is really not feasible. I do the full in the house on occasion.

      When I do the full I tell my wife that one of the girls is coming over and she always asks which one (there are three persona with different styles and attributes) and she says that she will be delighted to meet her. We often have tea together and chat away like two women. She is so kind and understanding.

      Incidentally I am not attracted to men sexually at all; I like women. Maybe that is part of why I like to dress as one. And my wife is not a bit attracted to women sexually. Go figure.

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    • #257952
      Jennifer Heels
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      at a young age, 4 to teen, i just wanted to wear pantyhose and high heels. in puberty well it was more a sexual hormone thing if you know what i mean. as my 20s plus came around it just felt more natural and what i should wear. after my 40s it was more of the woman inside of me thing.

      I questing why me? will this what i be the rest of my life? what woman would want me as i dress like a woman? is this normal? what is wrong with me?

       

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    • #255527
      Samantha Joan
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      Hi Fiona!

      This is a great question. My first ever experience was probably as many, trying on a pair of tights. It wasn’t especially a sexy experience but certainly had an impact. As I was living at home, a pair of tights was easy to hide. For me she’s always been here so for me I’m in the number 1 bracket. Women’s clothes have a range of styles, colours and accessories that men cannot compete with, for me it’s all about the colour and feel.

      Also for me, growing up with strong female role models and working in a predominantly female industry has confirmed that I will never be a mans, man but if this has made me who I am, then I am very happy and regret nothing!

      Its sadly only been in the last 3 years that Samantha has been able to come out properly and have an understanding of what makes my individual style. Thanks to some great people around me, I have able to hone my looks properly.

      Samantha x x

       

    • #255076
      Anonymous
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      I think we all can relate to all three. I know I do. I wear panties and bra all the time just because I can. I’ve been a female trapped in male body.

      I think my story is little different being I’m attracted to men sexually but have never gone that far. It’s  very frustrating.

       

       

       

       

       

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    • #254932
      Jessica Gomes
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      I believe most of us go thru those three at one point. It all depends on what is going on in your life at the moment. We are all like a beautiful butterfly and just like a butterfly life cycle we go through it as well. I was just thinking about it myself. I thought about how turned on I would get every time I would dress up and buy things that would look sexy. Now I dress up like is a part of me and that it feels right. If I buy or see some clothes I look for something that would look classy and sexy something that says this is me!

      • #254958
        Anonymous
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        Beautifully expressed Jessica!

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    • #254272
      Anonymous
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      Fiona; Thank you for such a thought provoking post. Like most of us I find in myself a bit of all three. #3 is naughty and makes me tingle, but #1 & 2 are real and true feelings. I especially like how High Quality underthings make me feel. I wear them all the time. Dressing for the public remains sadly out of reach for now. I love beautiful women and I am insane for beautiful crossdressers! This is both wonderful and a dilemma. To go from a hard-bitten, combat tested Marine to someone who spends hours shopping for fine lingerie has made this hackneyed, lonely, existence I have the nerve to call a life very, very confusing.

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    • #254252
      Becca Booty
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      For the most part I only wear lingerie cause I love how it makes me feels sexy and Fem.  And yes I admit a little slutty too.  Once in a great while I’ll put on one of my wife’s dresses and that feels OK. Being that I’m Bi curious, I’d like to one day wear my lingerie for a big strong man or another sexy CD. I don’t get to wear them that often. I want to underdress and wear a pair of sexy panties to work but still haven’t done it.

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    • #253811
      Michelle D
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      For me, it’s mainly #1 and #2, I have always felt more feminine, believing that I would have made a better woman. I am confident in who I am as a person regardless of gender, I’d probably still be the same person just enjoying my clothes a whole lot more.  I do admit to a little of #3 in me, it’s kind of that release I think many of us have inside wanting to know what it’s like to have someone thing of you as being sexy as a woman.

    • #253806
      Jin Crocker
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      I just like women’s clothes. Been wearing them most of my life. I like the diversity of choices, I like being different, I like the feel and texture. I am a rebel and sometimes want to pretend to be a girl.

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    • #253061
      Lee Ann Rakers
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      This is all very simple for me. I am stealing this from one of our sisters. Dressing en femme is both “comforting and exciting”. When I’m wearing a bra I feel that I am complete.

      Love to all,

      Jessica

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    • #253057
      Stephanie Green
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      All three reasons apply to me to some degree.  I’m trying to figure out to what extent number two applies because that could most affect my life going forward.

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    • #253039
      David Simms
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      I am all 3. I agree that most men at one time or another have tried on panties. I have been dressing since I was 15. About 10 years ago I met a woman and told her of my  dressing. She was very accepting and supportive with it. We had many discussions about it and since at the time we were living together she was able to witness first hand the changes I went trough. After about 6 months I came home from work one night and she had laid out some cloths for me to wear. As I was getting dressed the conversation about my dressing came up again. She got a huge smile and just popped out with. I think one of the reasons you enjoy being Feminine so much is that all your life you have been forced to be the big tuff guy. I grew up and my dad was big at us boys act like men and stand up and be counted. Then I joined the Military and went to Vietnam and then became a police officer. I used turning fem to step away from being the strong type and its a way to step back from all of it. Makes sense to me

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    • #251504
      Anonymous
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      I’m still trying to completely understand why? My wife thinks that I was a 1950’s housewife in a previous life! (because of my love of that period style)  I do know that when I allow my female side to come out, I feel more relaxed with myself and complete.

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    • #251338
      Tisha Smith
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      <p style=”text-align: left;”>For me I love the feeling of being a girl.  Love to go out dressed as Tisha and blend in the best I can.  As always there is still work I need to do to fit into the world as Tisha better 😁</p>

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    • #247034
      Lily 96
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      Hi,

      its rare I wear womens clothes. I only have one skirt that I wear with tights once in a blue moon. Personally it feels great for me and I wish I could do it more often.

       

      lily

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    • #246745
      DeeAnn Hopings
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      Sorry, none of the above…

       

      For me, dressing gives freedom to a part of me that had long been suppressed. While I am an amalgam of male and female sensibilities, I present as female the vast majority of the time. Perhaps it is my way of trying to compensate a bit for lost time. Besides, I presented myself as male for about 65 years, so doing something different is much more fun and stimulating…

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    • #245188
      Ginger Florentine
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      #2 right now. At times there has been a small amount of #3 but not much. But it all started with #1, especially when shopping for my current wife. That’s really what led me to come out to her. I loved so much of what I would see for that I realized I wanted some of them as much for me as for her.

    • #245104
      Daisy Marie
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      I’ve been definitively discovering myself as a #2 group member.

      Indeed, when I get dressed, I feel my feminine side is alive and happy. I acknowledge that my body measures help me a lot (5’9″, 155lbs, US womens 10 shoes) and I can live in both modes (boy and girl) without the feeling of coping with a burden and many things I like are “male-ish”; however, my feminine persona is much happier and kind than any other persona that may take my body as dwelling.

      xoxo

    • #244691
      Julie Glassworks
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      oh Fiona-Ann  – I am so glad you were in a philosophical mood and asked this question. I would love to see more questions like this on CDH. it is great to share tips and experiences, but I spend a lot of time thinking about the whys as well.
      I feel I am definitely in the number two category –  I am femme and enjoy dressing because it matches the woman I feel inside. when I am not ‘dressed’ I sometimes feel that I am actually a trans man, a woman trying to fit into masc (mask?) clothing. For me, it is a gender thing not a sexual thing (well, usually…) and it is often the little things – like brushing my teeth with my hair pulled back in a pony tail while wearing a cami – that make me feel at peace, truly Julie.
      As for borrowing panties, that is how I started too but now feel that it is an infringement (that and I am afraid I might stretch them and get ‘detected’ – I am not out to anyone) and so will (mostly) only wear my own…

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    • #244550
      ChloeC
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      Okay, this one got me thinking. Here goes –

      If there were more possible categories, I might find more of myself in one of them. What I have come to realize over the years is that I suspect I have not quite the full amount of testosterone that most males have. I don’t care for hunting (guns in general!), serious material building of things (or smashing them), spitting, chewing, swearing (except when I’m terribly upset), smoking cigars (or any type of inhaling). I’m getting older but as opposed to my two brothers I still have a full head of hair, very little body hair (but average facial hair). I’m also a little taller and a little more slender. My brothers physically take after our father (who died in an accident when we were young), but I’ve since found out his closest male friends were probably gay. I’ve seen his h.s. yearbook, my h.s. life mirrored his a lot more than my two brothers did.  There are other clues I’ve uncovered.

      I do also suspect that I just might have a fair amount of estrogen floating around too, because my moods vary, when I’m in dressed en femme or in male drag. Actually, I think it’s all a genetic thing, just not enough studies done….yet….but, I’m sure all those odd genes push and pull on one another. I can get en-femme and just relax and enjoy the time, or I can have it end in, well, you know. If I’m alone for some time, I can vacuum, do laundry, iron shirts, do the dishes, pick up, all the things my spouse thinks I try to avoid.   Or I can try different looks, different shades of make-up. I can try to get all pretty in a dress, attachments, wig, perfume, finger and toenail polish, stockings or pantyhose. Or just jeans or capris and a tank or cami. Or lounge around in a teddy and slippers. All with the requisite undergarments of course. (or even swim in a backyard inground pool in a one piece, at night, the two piece didn’t work as well)

      Sometimes my moods want me to go farther, sometimes just a few moments. The longer I go, the more I feel a rush at times…and then a huge let down when I do have to change back. But I can go male drag for days, drinking beer with my buds, jumping up and down at the tv watching sports, fix leaks, re-wire outlets, etc. etc., being a guy.

      And there are times when I’m dressed when I do sort of long for male companionship (but only when I’m dressed because I’ve accepted that I full hetero based on how I’m dressed) , someone to look at me and treat me as a complete woman. I thought about that possibility when I was 20, but then I went and did a lot of things that quashed it (enlisted, married, had a kid). Then I got divorced and again considered it (still in my late 20’s), but my child need a parent more than its other parent wanted to do anything, so I became a single dad to an infant. Yes, I smirked at Kramer vs. Kramer, that Dad (what a wuss) had an older adolescent who could actually dress and fix meals himself. Then I got married again and had some more kids. I love them all immensely as well as my spouse, how can I possibly give all that up.

      So, I’m parts of all three, and some not even listed. And, I’m not. It’s been an interesting life.

      • #248767
        Jamie Japs
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        Initially it was mostly a sexual thing and when my wife got involved it was more of sex/fetish thing. But the more I wear the less the sex feeling come and the more it seems a natural thing for me to do. My wife accepts somewhat so I can push the boundaries a little more. So a #3 changing to a #1.

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    • #244423
      Lynda Charles
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      Ladies, I’m sitting at #1.  I was at #1 until puberty and then slipped into #2 until I was about 20.  Went back to #1.  Thats where I sit today, wearing bra, panties, pretty lavender blouse, white shorts and my beard.  I thoroughly enjoy dressing up, but I know I can not go further without removing my facial hair, which means no going out.  I’ve never felt like I was in the wrong body; never felt more feminine when dressed.  I just really enjoy the feeling of being dressed.  As an aside, I do underdress every day.  It all feels so wonderful.

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    • #243444
      Rachel Williams
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      Primarily the 1st with elements of the 3rd at the beginning.  I initially started with just panties to support self gratification but found I liked the feel of satin type fabrics against the skin which developed into an interest in other female clothing. I particular like chemises and dresses as it eliminates tightness around the waist which is what I dislike about drab clothing. I don’t see a hidden woman in me but who knows what is hidden away  in my sub conscious mind but do have a inner conflict in that if if it just about fabrics and certain types of clothing why do I buy items whose purpose can only be   to make the female image more plausible.

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    • #243428
      Rose Hill
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      Mix of all 3 for me.  But mainly sometime I just want to forget about the real me for a while and any stress in my life. I can relax more when I’m dressed, I truly enjoy wearing the clothes, spending time making the decision of what I’m going to wear that day and as I’ve said before I love the choices of clothes that women have, more styles and colors.

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    • #239550
      Vicki Smythe
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      I’d say I am a mix of all three to a certain extent. That being said I’m mostly #3 and then #1. However, the more I can dress and just enjoy being a complete person the more I find myself transform more into a combination of #1 and #2. I think the sexual component plays a big role because it’s a quick emotional rush of everything that’s been bottled up inside waiting to get out. If I am able to enjoy more frequently dressing then It seems to even things out. I believe I have rambled in enough and will think about what to wear when I get home tonight if I have a chance to do so.

      Vicki

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    • #239543
      Roxy Smith
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      For me kind of all three of those.  Always thought that men’s clothes are restrictive and boring.  Women seem to be allowed to wear anything and also any colour.

      Roxy641

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    • #239039
      Michelle
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      I’m thinking I just love the variety of styles and fabrics.  The soft chiffon & satin to cute full skirt dresses.  I’m more of the casual conservative attire type lady be over 60 but do love the to dress up in fancy party dresses for my date nights with my wife once a month.

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    • #238927
      Anonymous
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      My thoughts exactly, thanks for putting it in words.

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    • #237933
      Alexandra James
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      Started out as number 3 with a past SO but has grown into number one as no one in my life right now knows.

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    • #236193
      Anonymous
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      For me to be honest it;s 1 and 3

      Amanda

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    • #236132
      Anonymous
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      All of those but number 3 is probably at the front sometimes.

      Dee

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    • #235983
      Jillian Walker
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      Hi Fiona,

      I am definitely a mix of all 3.  Though as time goes by #3 has fallen down the priority list.

      I LOVE women’s clothes!  LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, the textures, the colors, the variety, the ability to shout to the world who you are and what your mood is.  I love how a dress will brush your legs as you walk or how a blouse shows just as much as you let it show or how heels put a wiggle in your toushy.

      There was a big sexual element when I was younger.  I started crossdressing as a youngster when I became sexually aware and the clothes and the sex became intertwined.  As the years go by that aspect of dressing diminishes.  I just enjoy my girl time more and more.

      Ahh…#2.  I believe that we are all a mix of male and female traits and that, for me, the female traits are a little stronger, outnumber the male traits and will gain ascendancy from time to time.  Hell, there are times when my femme side just takes over.  Maybe because I am male most of the time there are days when I think I’ll burst if I can’t be female for a little while.

       

    • #230949
      Anonymous
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      Well Fiona this is something I came to understand about myself relatively recently. I have always absolutely adored women’s fashion. It is so much more me than men’s fashion and more fun. That said I also came to a realisation about my own self in that I realised I was non binary. In the sense that while I identify predominantly as a man and am happy in that I also identify as a women just to a lesser degree. It’s a strange position to be in but one that I am happy with.

      Love Charlotte xXx

    • #230873
      Anonymous
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      Thank you for the great question. I am a combination of 1 and 3. I have always been fascinated by women’s experience and I love the look and feel of women’s clothes. When I use breast forms, adjust my fringe,  see myself in a neat tailored skirt, simple blouse, dark pantyhose and flats, I like my figure, feel pleased how calm I am and enjoy the experience. I’m not sure why I enjoy it but I do.

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    • #230846
      Jane Martin
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      For me it’s mostly 1, and maybe a little 3, I like the role play.  Woman’s clothing is so different from men’s. Even their pants fit differently! I enjoy going out as Jane. It’s exciting.  Growing up I always wondered what it would be like to be a girl.  Even just to switch body’s with one for a day.  The fun one could have!  I’ve also be fascinated by there clothing options.  For a guy is pant and a shirt and shoes mostly.  Although there are different styles of them, there is not the variety there is with women’s clothing!  I think for me that is part of the fascination of women and being a woman!

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    • #230838
      Pam H
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      Thanks for the post!!

       

      I am a little of all 3.  I have always felt like I am a woman trapped in a man’s body. Although I live a good life as a man. I’m a little bit of a wimp but at the same time I like to work on cars and build things and into most things that society would classify as make.  My desires ultimately caused the demise of my first marriage. I hid it for a long time and slowly introduced it and she couldn’t handle it. On my second marriage now and she has known since very early on and accepts me for who I am but my desires to tell close friends stresses her out big time. She doesn’t want to be embarrassed.

      Clothes? I love women’s clothes and have always been jealous of all their choices!!  I wear panties 24/7 and have been for years.

      Sexual excitement definitely happens when I am dressed en femme but it is not all about sex either. I just love being a woman. When I am Pam I seem to act differently, feel different, look at the world around me differently and feel less stressed.

      Well that’s my 2 cents. Thanks for listening!!

       

      Pam

       

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    • #227263
      Stacey Renauld
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      What type of crossdresser am I?

      An unconvincing one!!! haha 🙂 lol

       

      But seriously, I’d say primarily I’m a 2.  I wouldn’t go as far to say I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body but I do have a very strong female side.  I’ve always felt more comfortable in female company and have never quite fitted in as “one of the guys’.

       

      Obviously, I’m also a 1 as I love women’s clothing.  I’d be crazy not too it’s gorgeous!!!

       

      Stacey xxx

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    • #227024
      Anonymous
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      Definitely all three. 1. Men’s clothes are boring but a woman can wear almost anything. Suits, pants, shorts, skirts, skorts, dresses, tights, nylons… it’s An almost limitless variety that can be combined to create extremely slutty to very conservativelook and feel depending on her mood. 2. After the first time I tried on a pair of silky panties I was hooked. I wanted to see how feminine I could be. That led to makeup, lotions, perfume, wigs and breast forms. 3. When I’m dressed as a woman I feel sexy and horny. Being with someone who wants me that way is a total turn on. I went for a walk the same evening that I took my profile pic and got whistled at by a young man driving past. If only he knew, but what a wonderful morale boost!

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    • #227018
      Madelynn Fox
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      Of all the posts that are on here I felt drawn to add my 2 cents here.  For me it is most certainly 1 & 3 like many before.  The reason that I would not include 2 is that I have a well established male life that though being Dona has destroyed my marriage I cannot walk away from and for the most part don’t want to.  But that being said I do believe if I had discovered being Dona when I was 20 and not married that 2 may apply a whole lot more.

      Like many my first forays (and still a lot of my current ones) into dressing revolved around wearing lingerie.  I use to hound my wife to put some on and finally one day I got tired of bugging her and decided that I would try it on myself and found that not only did I love the look of it but loved the way it felt and all the possibilities that it seemed to have.  Once I started down that path # 3 built naturally out of an experience I had when I was 18 and being Dona just seemed to make the sexual desire for men an okay thing to pursue and has totally redefined my own sexuality.

      Now 4 years after coming to terms with my wife on Dona it has become obvious that I had opened Pandora’s box and I can’t go back and for my wife that is a huge deal breaker in any form.

      Thanks for the post that allowed me some time for reflection.

      Girl, thank you for your honesty.  I hope this continues to be a place where you can feel supported and always have an understanding ear to listen.  Stay strong Sista!

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      • #227221
        Bettie Houston
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        What a heart felt story and one that many can certainly relate to

    • #226901
      Micheal Denier
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      No. 3 without a doubt, been a fetish for about 35 years. I love to copy the clothes what I see on some of the beautiful women, I see around, For example in the car the other day, stopped at some traffic lights. Tall Women in her ’50s crosses the road, Blue Floral Print Mini Dress, purple opaque tights, Black Mary Jane shoes on, I’m thinking I’d like to be that lady, in that situation.

      A little bit of No. 1,as well,clothes shouldn’t have a gender, I love a Skirt & Tights.

      Not No. 2 at all

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    • #226507
      Anonymous
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      I guess for me it is a fetish. Initially I liked women in lingerie. I soon found out I liked myself in lingerie also which developed into a fascination with other crossdressers. Never considered myself gay but lately feeling very curious towards feminine men.

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    • #226209
      Meghan M
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      It’s a 1 and 2 for me.

      I just love women’s clothing, styles, materials, and variety.  Some of my unknowing coworkers have noticed that I’m a little more in-tune with how they dress and put on makeup- I notice what makes them more feminine without sounding feminine, if that makes any sense.  I’m very much a guy in guy mode.

      However- when I get time to dress, I try to go as feminine as possible in the time that I have.  I will admit that (due to the former paragraph) I have a feminine side that I *love* to enhance and allow to blossom when I get to be Meghan.  So, oddly enough-  I think that I’m a little more than just a crossdresser or a fetishist; but not quite transgendered and feel like I’m in the wrong body or gender dysphoric.

      I like to call it Transgender-Lite.

      Gotta love those places on the spectrum, where you can’t quite cubby-hole where you’re at.

      For clarification-  My crossdressing isn’t a sexual thing for me.  It’s not a fetish, nor is there arousal with it.  It’s a means by which I get to experience my feminine side, and express it outwardly.  It is fulfilling and centering for me.  I find peace with Meghan.

      I’m on Insta as my username.

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    • #223622
      Deb Cox
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      For me it’s a sexual/fetish/role play.  I actually had planned on having a different name for each wig, and no, I don’t have multiple personalities, as far as you know, I just thought it would be fun to role play with different names, however, I like my brown/redhead wig so much, that everyone now knows me as Natalie, so giving a different name, if I ever change wigs, will just confuse all my new friends when I go out.

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    • #222990
      J J Johnson
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      Great topic and makes one think about why we do it. For me, I suspect it is a little of all three, but most #1. I love the look and feel of fem things, especially lingerie. While I love to see women in nice lingerie, I have come to enjoy seeing men in sexy things as well. It just looks (and feels) good. Same with nice outerwear.

      There is a small desire to be a woman as in #2. I am male, always have been, always will be, but there is a small part of me that wants to be a woman. I noticed it when I was quite young. I would tuck my boy parts and imagine I was a girl. Never a big desire, more just a curiosity. That curiosity is still there and dressing allows me to explore that a bit.

      I am not sure how big a part #3 plays, bigger then suspect (or willing to admit)? I do get a thrill from dressing and a sexual gratification as well. I get aroused seeing women (especially my wife) in sexy lingerie, but pictures of myself, a look in the mirror, or online photos and stories are a turn on for me, so no doubt in is a part of it. I really enjoy sex with my wife when one or both of us are in lingerie, and msot of my crossdressing sessions have a happy ending.

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      • #223007
        Bobbie1951
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        i think most of US get some thrill sexually from dressing up but i would differentiate between that and fetishized where it becomes necessary for sexual gratification.  To me that is more on the lines of a BDSM sissy or the classic transvestite. 

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    • #222983
      Jennifer Coals
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      I think I am a combo of option 1 and 2.  I have a strong male preferences, but feel very femme and definitely prefer the options you get women’s clothes and shoes (can’t forget about the shoes;)  ).  I guess I would be considered a tomboy if I was born a girl.  I think I would have been happier born a girl in this day in age because I feel women have more freedom to express all parts of their personality with very little condemnation.  If a women is interested in sports or has other classically male preferences, she may be considered a real catch because men would be better able to relate, but still appreciate her slipping into a beautiful dress and make their hearts skip a beat.

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    • #220614
      Franconia Houghingtonne
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      this is a great icebreaking question!

      For me it would be 1 and a little bit of 3. I just love womens clothing and being able to wear it frels great and just does something for me. I also say a little bit of number 3 because for me to be able to wear beautiful shoes that maybe around 50 to 60% of women believe it or not cant actually wear properly is kind of uplifting almost glorious.

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    • #220547
      Dona Night
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      Of all the posts that are on here I felt drawn to add my 2 cents here.  For me it is most certainly 1 & 3 like many before.  The reason that I would not include 2 is that I have a well established male life that though being Dona has destroyed my marriage I cannot walk away from and for the most part don’t want to.  But that being said I do believe if I had discovered being Dona when I was 20 and not married that 2 may apply a whole lot more.

      Like many my first forays (and still a lot of my current ones) into dressing revolved around wearing lingerie.  I use to hound my wife to put some on and finally one day I got tired of bugging her and decided that I would try it on myself and found that not only did I love the look of it but loved the way it felt and all the possibilities that it seemed to have.  Once I started down that path # 3 built naturally out of an experience I had when I was 18 and being Dona just seemed to make the sexual desire for men an okay thing to pursue and has totally redefined my own sexuality.

      Now 4 years after coming to terms with my wife on Dona it has become obvious that I had opened Pandora’s box and I can’t go back and for my wife that is a huge deal breaker in any form.

      Thanks for the post that allowed me some time for reflection.

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      • #220645
        Kimmie
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        So sorry for the effect the information had on your wife. I have an obvious bias, but I don’t think any kink, fetish, or desire that was not illegal would lead me to pull the plug.  I guess I shouldn’t say any because I don’t think I would be able to handle polyamory.

        My wife gets no pleasure whatsoever from lingerie, high heels, etc., but she also does not object (and I guess, accepts) my panty wearing. I wonder how I would feel if she were into lingerie, meaning would it lower my desires.

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    • #220390
      Autumn Sky
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      Thanks for the article, i think for me im number 2 but since i really only started to refind myself in august 2019 that its a little early to fully know

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    • #220356
      Erica Guy
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      I am a 1 & 3

      I often dress just because I like the way it feels. I like to play dress up and feel girly while I clean house or just am lounging around. I do find it to be a sexual thing from time to time. I am a straight male but have had a few girlfriends that did not mind me dressing up and being their secret lesbian lover. I hope no one is offended by the last part. I feel we all should be ablle to explore with out being judged by others when they are probably trying something we feel is not for us. So Ladies go live life to the fullest and be YOU

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    • #220275
      Madelynn Fox
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      As many have answered, I too am a bit of all 3.  One, I absolutely love the feeling of wearing a dress and a bra and panties, because two, it lets me connect to my feminine side.  I love to put on makeup and be as much of a woman as I can. Yet, three, I cannot deny that when I am dressed up and feeling very feminine, I get as excited and want to experience the pleasure that being a woman can bring.  And when I wrap myself in fur, I let my inhibitions go!

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    • #220240
      Bettie Houston
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      When I was younger there was definitely a sexual element to my crossdressing. I wanted  to look and feel like the women of  Playboy and Penthouse. Later I realized the inner peace and calm I felt when I was enfemme.  Through therapy I began to except that my desire was not just a fetish but a need to express who I am

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    • #220231
      Jonnie Smith
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      I believe for me it is mainly a combination of 1 and 2. Earlier in my life I can honestly say #3 was evident as I dressed more for the thrill than anything. However as I get older it really seems that #2 has taken over in a huge way. My urge to dress en femme is the strongest it has ever been in my life and not just in a  thrill seeking way but more so because if just feels so very natural.

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    • #217220
      Sofia Ramirez
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      For me it’s a little of 1 and 3. I love the way women’s clothes look and have been wanting to try out more than panties.

       

      3, is when I see myself in the mirror wearing a nice set of panties, I really enjoy what I see.

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    • #216961
      Liz Taylor
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      Hi all

      For me it is #2, but has been a combination of all three in the past.

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    • #216913
      Zoe Strange
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      I guess I’m very much part time but as I get older the urge to dress fem is becoming much much stronger. I still very much enjoy being a guy ie playing football tennis etc nice clothes , work . But there’s definitely a side where I would like to have more time to myself and progress with make up makeovers ,definitely meet with other CD s etc . I don’t have a desire to go out dressed but would love to share with someone likeminded. I guess it is part sexual dare I say ,as I find it such a turn on to dress and see other cd dressed. Hopefully I’ve not offended anyone with this post . Zoe x

      • #216990
        Anonymous
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        Similarly Zoe privacy important and I am OK with that. Would love to meet others in the right environment. Like both my parts.x.

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      • #216968
        Bobbie1951
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        Zoe, i think you’ll find all the myriad varieties of crossdressing find a home here at CDH.  i am only beginning to open the door of my closet.  my wife is the only one who knows and right now i have exactly one femme outfit, khaki shorts and a lovely purple v necked t shirt top to go with, and i got them yesterday!  i will be happy right now just in front of my wife without makeup because i have none and wouldn’t know what to do with it if i did.  i have big plans but only the future will tell.

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    • #216890
      Nathalie Maillot De Bain
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      Your Philosophical mood seems to inspire a lot of us Fiona 🙂 I thank you all!

      But it seems that a lot of us feel like a femme at heart……. Something that I don´t feel, I´m very happy in my Body, I like the way I look in Woman clothing and I like the way I look naked

      Love Nathaloie

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      • #216904
        Kimmie
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        Nathaloie, I feel like you. I would add that part of the beauty of CDH, is that the ends of the spectrum and all in between are accepted and valued.

    • #216519
      Anonymous
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      a mix of all three girls.   I’ve tried and tried my whole life to give it up.  but I can’t get over all those pretty things.  (the hose, satin panties,  garters,  pantyhose,  high heels,  satin sleepwear, satin dresses, pink purple,  the gorgeous wigs,  sighs …. on and on and on it goes.  I guess I’m helpless.   I’ve even become so  comfortable sleeping in satin women’s P Js  and satin sheets, I can’t sleep without either one of them.   I’ve grown to love/need it.     And, I’m also of the opinion, that biological women that understand and are ok with it just absolutely rule.

      thanks for listening.

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    • #216498
      Bettylou Cox
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      This is one of those questions which keeps coming back and insisting on a more detailed reply. When I was a teenager, it was #3 (isn’t everything?); and I don’t know whether this urge to get in touch with my feminine side qualifies as #2. It just exists. And #1 is most definitely #1 for me. From my first ladies’ tee, through panties, hose, jeans and skirts, the smoothness, light weight and comfort have been a delight – not to mention the colors! I’ve even developed a passion for shopping, and my closet is filling up.

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    • #216402
      Nathalie Maillot De Bain
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      Hai Fiona, I like philosophical moods 😉 Wenn I have to pick out, something in your list I would say 1 and 3. I love to be a man in womens clothes, that rules 2 out.

      But I would say it like this: Woman clothing for me is very comfortabel, skirts and Dresses are not so tight as a pants are. Also the underwear is not so tight and mostly from softer materials.

      The sexual Thing for me has different aspects, mostly 2 aspects. The Visual aspect that started with Looking at women in sexy clothing what gave me the drive to put clothing on myself and look at myself. These days that really can turn me on (so much that I would love to be intimate/sexual one day with another CD). The other sexual aspekt is Feeling the clothing on my Skin. Just Closing my eyes and feel that swimsuit (or…) can really turn me on, especially wenn being touched. And Feeling my dick grow in that swimsuit ist heaven.

      But I can imagine that there are many diffrent reasons for being a CD, I´m Looking for People who understand my reasons

      Love

      Nathalie Maillot de Bain

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    • #216228
      Catherine Lashar
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      Hi.

      I am new to CDH and was looking through the forums and saw this one and just had to reply.

      For me it is none of the above.

      Its just who I am.

      I am more ME as a woman  than as a male.

      More calm More alive More in touch.Just more of who I should be and who I am.

      Catherine

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    • #214535
      Paula F
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      For me, at times, it is all 3 options.  #1 is that I like the way well fitting women’s clothing and lingerie encase and firmly hug me from shoulders to toes and feel very reassuring to me and how a nice set of stockings can turn my legs from well toned but pale to something men compliment me on regularly.

      #2 is that I have always felt very femme and in the correct clothing since my first pair of panties at 5 yrs old (thank you sis) and have felt everyday since then.

      #3 isn’t as often as it was in my 20’s and 30’s, but I know my male friends appreciate the time and effort I put into looking sexy for them, which in turn makes me feel sexy for them and we have a great deal of mutual satisfaction from it.

      So, I guess it depends on which part of my life we are speaking of and which facet of ‘me’ is here for it to happen.  Does that make any sense?

      Paula

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    • #214403
      Angela
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      For me it’s a little of all 3. When I was younger it was the arousal of wearing bras and panties. Later in life I enjoyed being feminine. After a long stretch deep in the closet I’m starting all over. But the one feeling that has never left me is wanting to be a woman.

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      • #214478
        Jazz Fem
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        I agree with you Angela my whole life I wish I could be a woman at least I have moments where I get dressed up as a woman and I have worked very hard to present myself as a woman

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    • #214324
      Anonymous
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      I just love the feel of womans clothes. And would love to be a woman.

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    • #214318
      Anonymous
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      For me, I want to be an androgynous person. I don’t like being a man, but only part of me feels like a woman trapped in a mans body. I want to express how I normally am, but I also want to develop my feminine side. Make up, dressing up, changing how I talk and walk, all help bring out that side and keep it from feeling suppressed.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #214287
      Jessica Smith
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      It just feels sexy to me.  I sometimes feel that I’d like to be a girl, but only sometimes

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    • #209544
      Yuki Nagato
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      I’ve always been jealous of the options available in women’s clothes but felt like there was a limit to what I could get away with before upsetting others. A lot of hard times have taught me I shouldn’t limit myself to just what I think is going to bother the least amount of people, even though I still get anxiety when I’m out of the house 😅 it’s helping to bring me closer to my femininity  and be more comfortable with my sexuality though.

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    • #209374
      Jenny Thigh High
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      interesting post and so many interesting comments!

      i would say i am mainly a 3.  i see jenny as an expression of my sexuality, which includes role play to a certain extent.   my dressing has always been for the pleasure of men, which in turn pleases me.   that’s been true so far….maybe jenny will evolve further beyond that? i’m not sure, but excited about the possibility!

      i dress to express this side of my sexuality, but i don’t really consider jenny to be about identity in any way.  i don’t see myself as a woman, per se.

      since joining cdh however, i am starting to consider expanding jenny’s place in my life.  and i am now committed to seriously upping my game in dressing — new wardrobe, getting more serious about makeup, wigs, etc.  this is such a great site!