This topic contains 335 replies, has 190 voices, and was last updated by  Bobbie1951 17 hours ago.

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  • #131453

    Fiona-Ann Moss
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    hi girls! i’m in a kind of philosophical mood today. I was thinking about what to post today, whilst sitting in the car eating my lunch during dinner break at work. I got to thinking that there are many reasons why people dress femme. I feel this topic might come over as a little contraversal maybe? I dont know, but I figured three main reasons…..

    1. you just like womens clothes

    2. you are femme at heart like a woman stuck inside a mans body

    3. wearing womens clothes is like a kind of sexual thing, maybe a fetish or roleplay.

    ive no doubt, some people would argue that they are a mixture of all three or just two.

    I also got to thinking (its a wonder I actually have time to eat my dinner!) that most men sometime in their lives have worn a pair of their wifes panties, but would never admit it. I admit I have too, even when cross dressing was furthest from my mind, I simply had no underpants, so I made do with a pair of my wifes panties! go on girls, help me out with this one!

    love and kisses fiona xxx

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  • #222990
     J J Johnson 
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    Great topic and makes one think about why we do it. For me, I suspect it is a little of all three, but most #1. I love the look and feel of fem things, especially lingerie. While I love to see women in nice lingerie, I have come to enjoy seeing men in sexy things as well. It just looks (and feels) good. Same with nice outerwear.

    There is a small desire to be a woman as in #2. I am male, always have been, always will be, but there is a small part of me that wants to be a woman. I noticed it when I was quite young. I would tuck my boy parts and imagine I was a girl. Never a big desire, more just a curiosity. That curiosity is still there and dressing allows me to explore that a bit.

    I am not sure how big a part #3 plays, bigger then suspect (or willing to admit)? I do get a thrill from dressing and a sexual gratification as well. I get aroused seeing women (especially my wife) in sexy lingerie, but pictures of myself, a look in the mirror, or online photos and stories are a turn on for me, so no doubt in is a part of it. I really enjoy sex with my wife when one or both of us are in lingerie, and msot of my crossdressing sessions have a happy ending.

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    • #223007
       Bobbie1951 
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      i think most of US get some thrill sexually from dressing up but i would differentiate between that and fetishized where it becomes necessary for sexual gratification.  To me that is more on the lines of a BDSM sissy or the classic transvestite. 

  • #222983
     Jennifer Coals 
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    I think I am a combo of option 1 and 2.  I have a strong male preferences, but feel very femme and definitely prefer the options you get women’s clothes and shoes (can’t forget about the shoes;)  ).  I guess I would be considered a tomboy if I was born a girl.  I think I would have been happier born a girl in this day in age because I feel women have more freedom to express all parts of their personality with very little condemnation.  If a women is interested in sports or has other classically male preferences, she may be considered a real catch because men would be better able to relate, but still appreciate her slipping into a beautiful dress and make their hearts skip a beat.

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  • #220614
     Franconia Houghingtonne 
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    this is a great icebreaking question!

    For me it would be 1 and a little bit of 3. I just love womens clothing and being able to wear it frels great and just does something for me. I also say a little bit of number 3 because for me to be able to wear beautiful shoes that maybe around 50 to 60% of women believe it or not cant actually wear properly is kind of uplifting almost glorious.

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  • #220547
     Dona Night 
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    Of all the posts that are on here I felt drawn to add my 2 cents here.  For me it is most certainly 1 & 3 like many before.  The reason that I would not include 2 is that I have a well established male life that though being Dona has destroyed my marriage I cannot walk away from and for the most part don’t want to.  But that being said I do believe if I had discovered being Dona when I was 20 and not married that 2 may apply a whole lot more.

    Like many my first forays (and still a lot of my current ones) into dressing revolved around wearing lingerie.  I use to hound my wife to put some on and finally one day I got tired of bugging her and decided that I would try it on myself and found that not only did I love the look of it but loved the way it felt and all the possibilities that it seemed to have.  Once I started down that path # 3 built naturally out of an experience I had when I was 18 and being Dona just seemed to make the sexual desire for men an okay thing to pursue and has totally redefined my own sexuality.

    Now 4 years after coming to terms with my wife on Dona it has become obvious that I had opened Pandora’s box and I can’t go back and for my wife that is a huge deal breaker in any form.

    Thanks for the post that allowed me some time for reflection.

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    • #220758
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      I love your honesty, Dona.

      I am divorced, about three years, now. I live by myself in North East Georgia. Sometimes I think about living with a partner, but, honestly, do not know how to go about finding one. (Please note, my divorce was not crossdressing related!).  I am so happy being Roxanne Lanyon, and love being feminine in dress and mind. It is just that I so desire the company of a like-minded soul.

      I hope, someday, Nature is good to me, and helps me with this. I would then become the happiest girl in the world!

      Roxanne Lanyon

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    • #220645
       Kimmie 
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      So sorry for the effect the information had on your wife. I have an obvious bias, but I don’t think any kink, fetish, or desire that was not illegal would lead me to pull the plug.  I guess I shouldn’t say any because I don’t think I would be able to handle polyamory.

      My wife gets no pleasure whatsoever from lingerie, high heels, etc., but she also does not object (and I guess, accepts) my panty wearing. I wonder how I would feel if she were into lingerie, meaning would it lower my desires.

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  • #220390
     Autumn Sky 
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    Thanks for the article, i think for me im number 2 but since i really only started to refind myself in august 2019 that its a little early to fully know

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  • #220356
     Erica Guy 
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    I am a 1 & 3

    I often dress just because I like the way it feels. I like to play dress up and feel girly while I clean house or just am lounging around. I do find it to be a sexual thing from time to time. I am a straight male but have had a few girlfriends that did not mind me dressing up and being their secret lesbian lover. I hope no one is offended by the last part. I feel we all should be ablle to explore with out being judged by others when they are probably trying something we feel is not for us. So Ladies go live life to the fullest and be YOU

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    • #220368
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Erica, I am not offended!

      I think being a “lesbian” lover is such a wonderful experience!  I so want to be one, at times!

      Roxanne Lanyon

  • #220275
     Madelynn Fox 
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    As many have answered, I too am a bit of all 3.  One, I absolutely love the feeling of wearing a dress and a bra and panties, because two, it lets me connect to my feminine side.  I love to put on makeup and be as much of a woman as I can. Yet, three, I cannot deny that when I am dressed up and feeling very feminine, I get as excited and want to experience the pleasure that being a woman can bring.  And when I wrap myself in fur, I let my inhibitions go!

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  • #220240
     Bettie Houston 
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    When I was younger there was definitely a sexual element to my crossdressing. I wanted  to look and feel like the women of  Playboy and Penthouse. Later I realized the inner peace and calm I felt when I was enfemme.  Through therapy I began to except that my desire was not just a fetish but a need to express who I am

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  • #220231
     Jonnie Smith 
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    I believe for me it is mainly a combination of 1 and 2. Earlier in my life I can honestly say #3 was evident as I dressed more for the thrill than anything. However as I get older it really seems that #2 has taken over in a huge way. My urge to dress en femme is the strongest it has ever been in my life and not just in a  thrill seeking way but more so because if just feels so very natural.

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    • #220345
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      2 and 3 for Roxanne!

  • #217220
     Sofia Ramirez 
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    For me it’s a little of 1 and 3. I love the way women’s clothes look and have been wanting to try out more than panties.

     

    3, is when I see myself in the mirror wearing a nice set of panties, I really enjoy what I see.

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  • #216961
     Liz Taylor 
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    Hi all

    For me it is #2, but has been a combination of all three in the past.

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  • #216913
     Zoe Strange 
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    I guess I’m very much part time but as I get older the urge to dress fem is becoming much much stronger. I still very much enjoy being a guy ie playing football tennis etc nice clothes , work . But there’s definitely a side where I would like to have more time to myself and progress with make up makeovers ,definitely meet with other CD s etc . I don’t have a desire to go out dressed but would love to share with someone likeminded. I guess it is part sexual dare I say ,as I find it such a turn on to dress and see other cd dressed. Hopefully I’ve not offended anyone with this post . Zoe x

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    • #217000
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      I very much enjoy being a girl!

      Roxanne Lanyon

      • #217077
         Bettylou Cox 
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        Roxanne wrote: I very much enjoy being a girl. That was the title of a song from the 1961 film “Flower Drum Song”. It has been running through my head often, lately.

        Bettylou

        • #217239
           Roxanne Lanyon 
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          . . . . . and I do, Miss Bettylou.  I feel so sweet, gentle and pretty!  Oh, how I adore that feeling!

          Roxanne Lanyon

        • #217085
           Bobbie1951 
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          i also think of ‘I feel pretty’ from West Side Story’ especially the line,”Look I that mirror there. Who can that attractive girl be?  Such pretty hair, such a pretty face such a pretty me.”

          i slightly alter Jessie’s Girl to “I wish that I were Jessie’s girl” despite having no attraction to men sexually

    • #216990
       Donna James 
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      Similarly Zoe privacy important and I am OK with that. Would love to meet others in the right environment. Like both my parts.x.

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    • #216968
       Bobbie1951 
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      Zoe, i think you’ll find all the myriad varieties of crossdressing find a home here at CDH.  i am only beginning to open the door of my closet.  my wife is the only one who knows and right now i have exactly one femme outfit, khaki shorts and a lovely purple v necked t shirt top to go with, and i got them yesterday!  i will be happy right now just in front of my wife without makeup because i have none and wouldn’t know what to do with it if i did.  i have big plans but only the future will tell.

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  • #216890
     Nathalie Maillot De Bain 
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    Your Philosophical mood seems to inspire a lot of us Fiona 🙂 I thank you all!

    But it seems that a lot of us feel like a femme at heart……. Something that I don´t feel, I´m very happy in my Body, I like the way I look in Woman clothing and I like the way I look naked

    Love Nathaloie

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    • #216946
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      But I, Roxanne, feel femme at heart!

      Roxanne Lanyon

    • #216904
       Kimmie 
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      Nathaloie, I feel like you. I would add that part of the beauty of CDH, is that the ends of the spectrum and all in between are accepted and valued.

      • #217240
         Roxanne Lanyon 
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        Oh my!

        Please let me be a girl! Oh, Please?

        Roxanne Lanyon

  • #216519
     Anonymous
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    a mix of all three girls.   I’ve tried and tried my whole life to give it up.  but I can’t get over all those pretty things.  (the hose, satin panties,  garters,  pantyhose,  high heels,  satin sleepwear, satin dresses, pink purple,  the gorgeous wigs,  sighs …. on and on and on it goes.  I guess I’m helpless.   I’ve even become so  comfortable sleeping in satin women’s P Js  and satin sheets, I can’t sleep without either one of them.   I’ve grown to love/need it.     And, I’m also of the opinion, that biological women that understand and are ok with it just absolutely rule.

    thanks for listening.

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    • #216553
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Deanna,

      They absolutely rule me, Roxanne!

      Roxanne Lanyon

  • #216498
     Bettylou Cox 
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    This is one of those questions which keeps coming back and insisting on a more detailed reply. When I was a teenager, it was #3 (isn’t everything?); and I don’t know whether this urge to get in touch with my feminine side qualifies as #2. It just exists. And #1 is most definitely #1 for me. From my first ladies’ tee, through panties, hose, jeans and skirts, the smoothness, light weight and comfort have been a delight – not to mention the colors! I’ve even developed a passion for shopping, and my closet is filling up.

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  • #216402
     Nathalie Maillot De Bain 
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    Hai Fiona, I like philosophical moods 😉 Wenn I have to pick out, something in your list I would say 1 and 3. I love to be a man in womens clothes, that rules 2 out.

    But I would say it like this: Woman clothing for me is very comfortabel, skirts and Dresses are not so tight as a pants are. Also the underwear is not so tight and mostly from softer materials.

    The sexual Thing for me has different aspects, mostly 2 aspects. The Visual aspect that started with Looking at women in sexy clothing what gave me the drive to put clothing on myself and look at myself. These days that really can turn me on (so much that I would love to be intimate/sexual one day with another CD). The other sexual aspekt is Feeling the clothing on my Skin. Just Closing my eyes and feel that swimsuit (or…) can really turn me on, especially wenn being touched. And Feeling my dick grow in that swimsuit ist heaven.

    But I can imagine that there are many diffrent reasons for being a CD, I´m Looking for People who understand my reasons

    Love

    Nathalie Maillot de Bain

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  • #216228
     Catherine Lashar 
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    Hi.

    I am new to CDH and was looking through the forums and saw this one and just had to reply.

    For me it is none of the above.

    Its just who I am.

    I am more ME as a woman  than as a male.

    More calm More alive More in touch.Just more of who I should be and who I am.

    Catherine

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    • #216349
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Dearest Catherine,

      I simply feel the same way! I am so happy I have free’s my mind!

      Sweet, Gentle, Forever Roxanne Lanyon

  • #214535
     Paula F 
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    For me, at times, it is all 3 options.  #1 is that I like the way well fitting women’s clothing and lingerie encase and firmly hug me from shoulders to toes and feel very reassuring to me and how a nice set of stockings can turn my legs from well toned but pale to something men compliment me on regularly.

    #2 is that I have always felt very femme and in the correct clothing since my first pair of panties at 5 yrs old (thank you sis) and have felt everyday since then.

    #3 isn’t as often as it was in my 20’s and 30’s, but I know my male friends appreciate the time and effort I put into looking sexy for them, which in turn makes me feel sexy for them and we have a great deal of mutual satisfaction from it.

    So, I guess it depends on which part of my life we are speaking of and which facet of ‘me’ is here for it to happen.  Does that make any sense?

    Paula

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    • #214550
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      I just so want to feel like a sweet, gentle girl, full of love and femininity. To me, it is the best feeling in the world, and one that I desire so much! I am really a loving girl at heart!

       

      Roxanne Lanyon

  • #214403
     Angela 
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    For me it’s a little of all 3. When I was younger it was the arousal of wearing bras and panties. Later in life I enjoyed being feminine. After a long stretch deep in the closet I’m starting all over. But the one feeling that has never left me is wanting to be a woman.

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    • #214541
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Miss Angela,

      I do not EVER want it to leave me! EVER!

      Roxanne  “Her Feminine Heart” Lanyon

    • #214478
       Jasmine Jeffries 
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      I agree with you Angela my whole life I wish I could be a woman at least I have moments where I get dressed up as a woman and I have worked very hard to present myself as a woman

      • #214548
         Roxanne Lanyon 
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        Miss Jasmine,

        Please do not get me started! I will be thinking of being Roxanne all day after this! Oh! There would be NOTHING better than being a girl, thinking like a girl, living like a girl! Oh!

         

        Roxanne Lanyon

  • #214324
     Anonymous
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    I just love the feel of womans clothes. And would love to be a woman.

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    • #214536
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Oh Lindie,

      I do too! I so want to live as a girl, and look ever so prtty! I need that in my life! I simply love femininity! I want to be a lady in every way! Please?

      Roxanne Lanyon

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  • #214318
     Anonymous
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    For me, I want to be an androgynous person. I don’t like being a man, but only part of me feels like a woman trapped in a mans body. I want to express how I normally am, but I also want to develop my feminine side. Make up, dressing up, changing how I talk and walk, all help bring out that side and keep it from feeling suppressed.

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  • #214287
     Jessica Smith 
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    It just feels sexy to me.  I sometimes feel that I’d like to be a girl, but only sometimes

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  • #209544
     Yuki Nagato 
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    I’ve always been jealous of the options available in women’s clothes but felt like there was a limit to what I could get away with before upsetting others. A lot of hard times have taught me I shouldn’t limit myself to just what I think is going to bother the least amount of people, even though I still get anxiety when I’m out of the house 😅 it’s helping to bring me closer to my femininity  and be more comfortable with my sexuality though.

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  • #209374
     Jenny Thigh High 
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    interesting post and so many interesting comments!

    i would say i am mainly a 3.  i see jenny as an expression of my sexuality, which includes role play to a certain extent.   my dressing has always been for the pleasure of men, which in turn pleases me.   that’s been true so far….maybe jenny will evolve further beyond that? i’m not sure, but excited about the possibility!

    i dress to express this side of my sexuality, but i don’t really consider jenny to be about identity in any way.  i don’t see myself as a woman, per se.

    since joining cdh however, i am starting to consider expanding jenny’s place in my life.  and i am now committed to seriously upping my game in dressing — new wardrobe, getting more serious about makeup, wigs, etc.  this is such a great site!

     

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    • #216420
       Olivia Livin 
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      There are no right or wrong answers to any of these questions. I am soooo glad that you joined us here Jenny, I really hope you get to be what fits for you, whichever that might be in time. You are truly a breath of fresh air that brings just enough of an edge to be enlightening to many others about their own and others sexuality on this wonderful journey.

      Thanx

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      • #216424
         Bobbie1951 
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        100% agree

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      • #216421
         Kimmie 
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        Totally agree with this.

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  • #209272
     Nikki 
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    It’s encouraging for me, to read all of the replies and opinions here.

    I’m a married straight man, but I have worn my wife’s clothes secretly, and also other bits of clothing in the past I ‘obtained’ through a past job.

    I do get aroused by the feeling and look of myself in ladies clothes, but I also love the ‘feel’ of them too, lacy and silky, it just feels so nice against my skin.

    I am new to this wonderful site, and looking to build up a small stash of secret clothing I can wear alone in private. I have never worn high heels, but it’s something I’d love to try.

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    • #214371
       Bobbie1951 
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      Welcome,Nikki.  Whether you stay in the closet or step out into your house or even the big wide world enjoy yourself.  There is lots of support and advice here and representation of all the paths

    • #214308
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Nikki, honey,

      Give it a shot! You will, like I did, find that it becomes more of a lifestyle rather than just something “sexual”. Being a lady is the most interesting thing I have ever felt! I just do not want to change back!

      Roxanne Lanyon

    • #214299
       Leonara 
      Ambassador
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      Welcome Nikki you have come to the right
      place to help you with your CD needs.
      I have found the ladies here are supportive and have a lot of information
      to share.. try the forums and the ladies replies which are very helpful.Leonara

  • #209246
     Arianna Cos 
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    Hi, mostly it is like a fetish, because I like sexy women’s clothes (mini skirts and dresses, heels, over knee socks, boots, pantyhose etc.) and I love different roleplays such as schoolgirl (college girl), secretary, sexy clubbing look etc.

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  • #207466
     Shayla Armstrong 
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    When I’m dressed up, I want to experience life as a woman.

    I get aroused wearing clothes, makeup, wigs because I look beautiful as a woman.

    As a man, I’m straight. When I’m dressed up, I like flirting with men and desire men even though I’ve never been with one before(I’m married to a woman).

    So I guess when I’m Shayla, I want the world to see me as female and treat me that way. That’s why I like to go out because people will see me as a woman and I love getting the attention.

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  • #207463
     Cali Little 
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    Definitely 1&2 I have always wanted to be a girl

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  • #207184
     Roni Calin 
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    Sometime its all 3 but most time its I really enjoy wearing women clothes

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  • #206936
     Julie Moon 
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    Most definitely a combination of all three. I do on a daily basis if I wear underwear at all they are bikini as the fit and hold things in place. I find it strange how men can wear briefs which are so loose fitting. And for heaven sake what good are boxers ????? I would rather go with out than either of those while panty’s hold everything in place and just feel amazing on the skin. I love heels and cute sandals as I often have my toes painted I love the way the look and feel on my feet.
    Im 100% in love with dresses and skirts nothing says woman to me like a beautiful dress and great heels to match. I have recently ordered my first nightie in my size and can’t wait for it to arrive. I have slept in my SOs and loved it even thou it is a bit small. So in all I would say yes to all three as there is always the time for to have a bit of sexual release and I am sure that’s how it all began then I fell in love with the way they feel. Women have no idea how lucky they are to wear such soft silky things while we as men are forced to wear uncomfortable almost hard clothes.

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  • #206187
     Cynthia Hughes 
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    I don’t really think any of the options fit me but if I had to pick it would be 1.  Although I  love the whole experience of getting dressed up from the shaved legs to the makeup application.  It’s all “me” time.

    Cynthia

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  • #206104
     Catriona 
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    Hi Catriona here,

    I grew up with 3 sisters, they liked dressing me up in thier clothes. I began to enjoy it too. I loved wearing panties and a bra.

    When I got into my teens one of my sisters found me wearing her basque, stockings and lace panties (she was a couple of years older than me), instead of being angry at me, we would spend time together, and sometimes with a couple of her friends who would occasionally strip and dress me in their clothing. My worst nightmare was realised when a school friend of mine came around unexpectedly and my sis INVITED HIM IN while I was wearing just a bra and panties, he was shocked and I was sexually excited by it. He told nobody, at least to my knowledge. Ther aren’t many people who know I cross dress, but I can say:

     

    I just love being femme and wearing womens clothing and sometimes it is sexually exciting!

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    • #206112
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Catriona,

      It is definitely exciting! Oh!

      Your Roxanne Lanyon, A Good Girl

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  • #205036
     Christina Ballerina 
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    I am definetely all 3. I am doing ballet and sosometimes I wear my leotard anp Pink tights undet a Black tshirt and gym pants but alaleays my Pink ballet shoes

     

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    • #205039
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Cute, aren’t you?

      Roxanne

  • #204922
     Jackie Davies 
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    I would say I’m 1 and 3 I love women’s clothing and wearing them they feel so good on I do like my male life but do wear panties daily love how women’s clothing feels and looks on me it’s  thrilling to dress up. But every now and then I do wonder what it be like if I was a woman

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    • #204977
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      I think of that all of the time!

      Roxanne Lanyon

  • #204801
     Davina Leone 
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    Hi Fiona

    I dress well…because:

    1. I grew up in a house full of girls. Dad was gone for the week, in for the weekend. (That is as far as that line needs to go).

    2. Mom dressed me as a girl a few times to go out halloweening and secretly I loved it.

    3. I also grew up in a time that all the girls were wearing pantyhose. (now how do you tell mom that you want to wear pantyhose with your dress and 1.5 inch heels for Halloween)?

    4.I love the sexual feeling of feminine clothes. It is a turn-on and mostly a staple for me. (Don’t know yet how the future wife will take it).

    I am in some sort of feminine attire almost everyday. I wish it was more accepted as everyday attire for me as I am not convincing yet.

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    • #207453
       Julie Moon 
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      How wonderful it would be to be able to wear what ever you wanted when ever you wanted when ever you wanted with out fear . Or judgment of others .

      • #207461
         Roxanne Lanyon 
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        Julie,

        I would be the happiest girl in the world! Honest!

        Roxanne Lanyon

    • #205797
       Sarah Murphy 
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      I am All 3.

  • #204584
     Annie Potts 
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    For me it’s 1 and 2.  Originally I just liked the woman’s cloths.  Had I been born a girl I surely would have been a girly girl. Love all things feminine.  However, the more I dress, the. More natural it feels. I want the dress, the makeup and the lifestyle that is all things feminine.  It’s getting harder and harder to go back.  Not sure what this means about the future but I feel as if I have mentally transitioned to all the girl inside me freedom.

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    • #204638
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Oh Annie,

      That is the way I am getting to be! I never want to go back!

      Roxanne

  • #204581
     Ellie Mae 
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    I started out stricktly lingerie in my home but lately I’ve been buying dresses and outfits and going to appointments dressed.

     

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    • #204637
       Roxanne Lanyon 
      Participant
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      Good for you, Miss Ellie!

      Your Roxanne

    • #204588
       Bobbie1951 
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      For me it underdressing all the time even a bra when i go to appointments and nighties for sleep but i am shopping for skirts and tops.  When i get them the countdown starts for my makeup lesson and brow shaping.

  • #204519
     Renee Clark 
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    i could be described as 1 and 3, i truly do enjoy women’s clothing and i will admit it does turn me on to see myself all dolled up but there is another side to it,  Dressing as a woman gives me some respite from a stressful male life,  my work demands a certain level of performance and occasionally it can be very stressful when i do not meet those levels, dressing as Renee gives me a break from all of that stress

    • #204631
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      When I am Roxanne, I am simply full of oodles and oodles of love and femininity!

      Roxanne

    • #204566
       Grace 
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      1&3 for me for sure

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    • #204538
       Kimmie 
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      Dressing for stress relief works for me also.

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  • #203857
     Sally Drinkwater 
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    None of the above but I suppose liking womens clothes is closest to it, I love dressing up and would live as a woman all the time if I could but……..I don’t want to be one.

    When dressed I act and even think like a woman (I still dance like a girl)…….but sometimes, not always by choice it’s nice to be me.

     

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    • #203858
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Yes, its nice to be me, too! As long as “me” is Roxanne Lanyon!

  • #203188
     Jennifer Gordon 
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    hi girls! i’m in a kind of philosophical mood today. I was thinking about what to post today, whilst sitting in the car eating my lunch during dinner break at work. I got to thinking that there are many reasons why people dress femme. I feel this topic might come over as a little contraversal maybe? I dont know, but I figured three main reasons…..

    1. you just like womens clothes

    2. you are femme at heart like a woman stuck inside a mans body

    3. wearing womens clothes is like a kind of sexual thing, maybe a fetish or roleplay.

    ive no doubt, some people would argue that they are a mixture of all three or just two.

    I also got to thinking (its a wonder I actually have time to eat my dinner!) that most men sometime in their lives have worn a pair of their wifes panties, but would never admit it. I admit I have too, even when cross dressing was furthest from my mind, I simply had no underpants, so I made do with a pair of my wifes panties! go on girls, help me out with this one!

    love and kisses fiona xxx

    I am a Crossdresser. There is no more fooling myself. You can’t keep her from coming out, if you try it will turn into a bumpy ride. Enjoy your femme side.

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    • #203208
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Jennifer,

      Honey, mostly 2, but a little of 3!

      I enjoy seeing you here! You are on this site quite often, aren’t you girl?

      • #203238
         Jennifer Gordon 
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        Roxanne, 2 and 3 for sure hun

        • #203269
           Roxanne Lanyon 
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          I love the way you think, Jennifer. We are so compatable! That is so sweet!

          Roxanne

  • #203160
     Alannah Woods 
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    for more its beyond a fetish and loving the feeling of womans clothes. of late ive wanted to take things further as i felt ive wanted more as there was somnething missing. i dont see the reflection as what my current form is theres lots of things i see in the mirror and i dont like so i dress and look at myself from the neck down and the mirror sort of shows what my eyes see if that makes sense im thinking now a days the woman in me has had enough of being locked away and shes fighting to get out so dressing is the start for me with the limited items i do have but have expanded on just recently to really take on that feminine shape and appearance but also have a long way to go before this girl meets the public which it exciting yet terrifying at the same time hope this answers your question… all the best ally (alannah)

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  • #202960
     Brenda Lynn 
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    Philosophically speaking, I see myself as bi-gendered, neither fully male nor fully female, not one trapped in the body of the other, but sharing both male and female in one body. Yes, one might dominate at any given time in appearance and behavior, but the other is always there, influencing the appearance, behaviors, and mannerisms. I enjoy expressing myself as a women in all ways and as a man at other times, enjoying the perception and world view of both male and female in one package, one soul, one spirit. The native Americans (I am not Native American) called this “two-spirited” and they were honored within the tribe. I have no desire to give up either in my life to live full time as only one, but choose to allow both genders to guide my thinking, my action, and my life.

     

    • #203009
       Bobbie1951 
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      i can so relate to this!  While i have a definite female aspect that i have named Bobbie she is not a complete personality and shares my aspects of personality with my also team male aspect.  Currently i am just trying to give Bobbie a little time in the sun

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    • #202986
       Erica Grey 
      Participant
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      This! ❤💕

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      • #203017
         Roxanne Lanyon 
        Participant
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        Oh, Erica!

        That is such a cute answer!  I love it so much! – blush!

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  • #202756
     Jennifer Gordon 
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    Hi Fiona. You got it right. All 3 apply to me for sure. The panties are usually the start of things. When I first put them on along with stockings it was down the rabbit hole for me. I’ve been dressing for many years and had the typical ups and downs. It all started for me around age 12. No more fighting for this girl. A waste of time and money. Lol. Please keep in touch. Thank you. xxx

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  • #202754
     Roxanne Lanyon 
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    I am so happy for you, Jennifer! I feel the same way. If I could, I would be feminine forever!

    It is so sweet to think like you!

    2 users thanked author for this post.
  • #202454
     Alysson Manson 
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    I AM A WOMAN TRAPPED IN A MANS BODY ,IT HAS BEEN LIFELONG THAT I HAVE FELT THIS WAY,I NOW HAVE SOME FREEDOM TO BE THAT SEXY WOMAN DIEING TO COME OUT ,I AM A FULL TIME CD ,I REFUSE TO WEAR MENS CLOTHING ,AFTER REACHING THIS POINT WHY WOULD I WANT TO GO BACK AND BE A FASHION NIGHTMARE, I LOOK AND FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT MYSELF ,I AM STILL TRANSITIONING ,SLOW IT WONT BE OVERNIGHT ,FIRST CLOTHES ,THEN MY PURSE ,MAKE UP NEXT ,THEN WHO KNOWS ,ONLY TIME WILL TELL

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  • #202385
     Jennifer Gordon 
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    As soon as I tried on a pair of panties I instantly knew that it was going to be impossible to stop. Adding stockings etc adds to it. For me it’s impossible to stop and acceptance is the only way to handle it. I am calmer and at peace with it. Enjoy it!

    4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #202733
       Jennifer Gordon 
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      Hi Clare. Thank you for contacting me. I am relatively new to cdh. I am still closeted after years of dressing. I’ve gone thru the many ups and downs of it all. I live in a small town in Texas where it can be relatively close minded. I am in my 60’s and content with my femme side. It all started around age 12 with my mother’s stockings. The pre teen years seem to be the starting point for many. I don’t want to ramble too much but it would be greatly appreciated if you would be interested in sharing your story. Thank you for your time. Regards, Jennifer.

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      • #202738
         Kate 
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        Jen

        • you and I are of the same pod. 60s. Small Texas town in the huge state of Texas. Keep in touch!
        • #202753
           Jennifer Gordon 
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          Hi Jen. Yes, we certainly are. Small town too eh? You know what i’m saying hun. The 60’s were great. Contact me anytime.

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        • #202758
           Bobbie1951 
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          Small town in Central Florida here, not much better.  i am coming out of the closet but NOT where i live, rather in a nearby city where no one knows me or cares.

    • #202420
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Good Girl!

      • #202466
         Jennifer Gordon 
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        Thank you Roxanne. I’m at peace when dressed. Peace. Jennifer. xxx

        • #202479
           Roxanne Lanyon 
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          I am so happy for you, Jennifer! I feel the same way. If I could, I would be feminine forever!

  • #202321
     Kate 
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    Fiona. Your philosophical indulgence is very relevant to me today. I realize that at times the answer is static (without any deviation over some time) or fluid and dynamic ( can quickly and unexpectedly change).

    I love my femme clothing and my femme being. My wardrobe and lingerie are rather diverse. Reflecting my many facets. I can spend weeks in classy casual look then abruptly live naughty for awhile.

    However, #3, for the 1st time grabbed me. Oh, did it ever. I’m not a young woman at the peak of my sexual promiscuity, but a discrete and quietly passionate woman. THAT CHANGED. A part deep within reared it’s head and is rather exciting.

    So, I leave all of you with this story of change within change.

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    • #202325
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Dear Trebora,

      You so interest me, wistfully.

  • #202173
     Angel Deville 
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    I would say it’s a mix of all three yet more than just a sex thing

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    • #202306
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Much more than just a “sex” thing.  Maybe a “Life” thing?

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  • #202049
     Robyn Drake 
    Ambassador
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    Thank you for the question Fiona. I certainly resonate with 1, 2 and 3, but for me there is more to the psychological aspect of cross dressing. I was born into a  violent, chaotic and repressive family. Fortunately, I was also tall and athletic. So as a teenager I turned to sports in order to build myself up physically so that I could survive my father. I also discovered that I could get accolades from sports. Craving that kind of attention  became a big part of my identity. As a young adult I found myself in situations  where I had to toughen up and do some difficult things. In short, I simply couldn’t afford to be feminine and sensitive in any way. Needless to say, I felt lost and miserable. I was trying to do the right thing but I also increasingly realized that something was missing. So here I am now, spending a good amount of time thinking about what I lost in my earlier years, and how to get it back. I have always been very sensitive, thoughtful, intuitive  and creative. Cross dressing is helping me to get in touch with those traits. It has helped me in my marriage. I’m less rigid and judgmental of my wife. And besides, who doesn’t like a nice pair of lacy panties and a camisole to match?

    Sincerely,

    Robyn

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  • #202031
     Anonymous
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    I would say 1 and 3.  It all started when I was left alone after sex and saw her undies laying there.  They were very tight on me, but was able to squeeze into them.  The “naughtiness” of wearing them was exciting, but the feel of them on me was a turn on as well.

    Later when I was able to get my own sexy undies and slip into them I was both relaxed and aroused to be dressed in a pair of panties and a cami.  I don’t know if it was the act of slipping into those feminine undies, or the feel and look of them on my body, but I began to wonder what else I would want to explore.  I do not think I would ever want to fully transition to a full time female, but I find the occasional feminine moments in sexy lingerie very exciting.

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    • #202043
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Oh, I would.

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      • #202048
         Bobbie1951 
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        i am not sure i am prepared to fully transition or that i even would be transgender but i could definitely see prolonged living en femme public and private if my wife would go along

  • #201221
     Kyle Eve 
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    <p style=”text-align: left;”>I would say 2. When I started it was just dress up and put on a show or pretend play. As I got older it was more because it was enjoyable. All my friends were girls at the time. The boys would call me sissy or other cruel names. I have had shoulder length hair as long as I can remember. I have spoke with a very feminine voice. It is so bad that on the phone or intercom I am called mam or asked if I am the lady of the house. I have had friends in public correct people and tell them I am a guy. Now I dress as a feminine man at work with suit and tie. I do wear make up no eye shadow though. When I get home and when not at work I dress as a women. I am taken steps to live as a women. I went on another job interview as a women and have received a second call back from them.</p>

    • #202292
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Kyle, Honey,

      I am so envious of you! You seem so sweet!

  • #200782
     Autumn Valiant 
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    <p style=”text-align: center;”>When I purchased my first panties I would have said 3. Putting them on was quite arousing and erotic for me with a side helping of naughty that I truly enjoyed. It didn’t take long to become 1.  The more I wore panties the more I genuinely appreciated their prettiness, sexiness and how fashionable different styles and designs are. Until I started wearing panties I never really considered women’s fashions for myself. I might have thought a woman’s blouse was beautiful or well made but I never really considered what it would be like to wear it. Now I find I make comments out loud that might be surprising to some people. “Great blouse I wonder if it comes in pink”……. Oh wait, did I say that out loud ? Oops….. Nothing offensive or inappropriate mind you…. Just maybe not appreciated. In the NYC area comments to strangers are not considered friendly so much as creepy. So I consider myself a strong number 1.  I fully plan on exploring and developing my femme side but I don’t feel like I should have been born female. I love that in some ways I get to be both.</p>

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  • #200755
     Sophie Brown 
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    I used to be 1/2 all the way, I was devoutly straight & nothing & nobody was changing that. The older I get & the more I dress in sexy lingerie & heels, the more amazing it makes me feel & makes parts tingle I didn’t realise were there. I have been getting strong urges to want to explore another side of my femininity which I didn’t ever think I would, but now do not want to escape the thought of

    so now I am most definitely a mix of all 3 with a strong mix of 2/3! 😉

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    • #200771
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      I too, would like to explore that side!

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      • #200872
         Christie Marie Marie 
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        <p style=”text-align: center;”>I sometimes think I might want to try the total feminine feeling.  I fantasize about it. I don’t think I could ever do. Of course I never thought I would fantasize about that. I love just being a crossdresser.  Keep dressing</p>
        Christie Marie

         

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        • #200896
           Bobbie1951 
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          Christine, each of us is on their on unique path.  They may cross or run parallel for a time or have similar stretches but what is right for one may not be right for another. 

          i Actually began crossdressing dressing thru BDSM as a fetish of a forced feminized sissy. From there i discovered the joy of crossdressing that goes beyond the fetish (which i still enjoy) and today i want to go out as a girl and express Bobbie my inner sister.

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  • #200739
     Alicen Thairms 
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    1 and 2.

    Also occasionally 3, mostly when in underwear/stockings or a nighty – those trigger things for a man to be excited by a woman.

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    • #200744
       Bobbie1951 
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      Number 3 can be a lot of fun.  i remember on my wedding night with my second wife i had the most delicious frilly babydoll nightie and a garter belt and stockings.  i changed first with her out of the room.  Then she came in and we consummated the marriage.   WOW

  • #200715
     K Swim 
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    I am just attracted to women’s one piece swimsuits. Yes, I will use silicone breast forms while wearing them….but that is all. I would be happy with some large breasts, but that is pretty much it.

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  • #200713
     Erica Grey 
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    I think (and I’m still figuring this out) it’s mostly #2, but half. That is, I like expressing my feminine side, but I also like expressing my masculine side at other times.

    My SO is bi and so I’m trying hard to be sexy to her as both male and female. Prior to embracing crossdressing just very recently (I was looking for some lacy “man” underwear, stumbled across “sissy pouch panties” and never looked back), she would often comment that I was more woman than man anyway, the way I acted and thought and held myself.

    I think she was right and now I can express both sides of my gender. YAY!

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    • #200718
       Tiff Any 
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      👏👏👏👏👏

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  • #198188
     Bettylou Cox 
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    The few times I dressed as a teenager, it was almost all #3.  Now, many, many years later, when I began dressing again, it is definitely #1;  I just love the look, the feel and the sense of freedom I get when wearing a skirt or dress – and when I can’t do that, I’m still happy to be underdressed (or is it “stealth?) in women’s hose, panties, tees and jeans.  I’m shifting toward a 100% femme/androgynous wardrobe’ ‘cus that’s all I want.

    Bettylou

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  • #195986
     Kate 
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    I tend to wax poetic but do appreciate these thought provoking probes. My responses are more a verbal understanding and commitment to these same questions I have pondered for several years. Where my last word will bring me I will soon find out.

    why I first donned a bra I do not know. But, I anxiously sought the 2nd and subsequent times. Many years passed before I again indulged.  My “alone pre-dawn fantasies” took on, if I may, revolved around the male organ. Was it the pleasure I felt or was it the feel of it. That question obsessed me – but expected never to be answered. I viewed some erotic male masturbation videos but was not attracted to those men. My fantasies are now as the recipient of all that it brings. One ( my only one) experience sealed that affection.

    A beautiful woman will always be appreciated but when I look at her I want what she has. I mimic it when in my personal space – transitioning rapidly when I am home. In my curiosity I sought thoughts on why I yearned for this change in my day. Not for any validation but curious. I came upon a theory that remains relevant. My usual work day and personal day is filled with responsibilities and decisions to make. Oh to not have to pick the restaurant or movie at the end of it is a simple wish. When I shed my tie and suit (I think male underwear is gross – only panties for several years) shower and put on panties and a bra I feel like I shed that role (I know in this feminist world that is not a very fashionable concept) and the stress of the responsibilities that it carries. Some simply substitute a couple drinks but my way works for me. Oh, do not think that I escape those responsibilities but they soften. Spending the time what to wear each night becomes my main concern. Who would have guessed. Weekends, well, I will spare you, but suffice to say that a bikini makes things much easier.

    i have never put these thoughts to words but (unfortunately for all of you – hah!) I have a place to safely and comfortably scribe them.

    Thank you

    T

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  • #194123
     Phoebe Pink 
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    I have to say that for me it’s first 2 then 1.  Since I was a very young boy I have been attracted to my femme side.  Indeed, I have happily nurtured it over these many decades. But only lately has that pushed through to include dressing en femme.  Where it goes from here, I have no sense.  But it is not really a sexual thing at all for me.  Thinking en femme and dressing en femme seem natural.  But I am still a man and will always be.  What I am sure about is that there is no bright line except for the biological one.  My body is a man’s body. But everything else is a lovely soup of male and female ingredients.  And after many, many years, I am just beginning to enjoy it.

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  • #193850
     Martina Rae 
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    I like to feel beautiful and alluring.  I love when I meet eyes with a stranger and they smile.  I know they like what they see.  That’s very exciting for me, especially if it’s another woman!!

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  • #193502
     Sapphire Ribbons 
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    Well  1 is what this “CD’er does and I love feminine clothes. The colors , the styles and the fabric is purely exuberant. As for 2 , Without getting to complexing I deal with whom I am as a person depending on the circumstances. I’m certainly not going to grease the tractor in my pretty clothes! Also not going to wear work boots to a dance. I luv to be feminine, however I find a balance that works for me without the complexity of worries about what others think who I should be. Last 3 , Lingerie is just plain sexy and feels so good !

    Be beautiful,

    Sapphire

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  • #193482
     Bobbie1951 
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    i would say it all began as number three as part of BDSM role play.  i was (and still could be) a sissy submissive.  However that relationship morphed into a vanilla marriage so now i dress in hiding because i enjoy women’s clothing.  i was a gynecologist most of my career and i have always felt more comfortable around women and more able to emotionally understand them.  So I guess in a sense number two may be taking over.  I am trying to acquire the skills and clothing to present publicly.

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  • #193464
     Toni Kohls 
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    All 3 I guess. I absolutely adore wearing women’s clothes and feel like a woman trapped in a mans body sometimes and I have developed a taste for it in regards to #3 but by far 1&2

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  • #193458
     Tammy Girl 
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    I would have to say myself right now I’m a 3. I would slip on a pair of heels & get aroused you know down there. I take photos & videos for memories so I can remember times when I was happy. I also like the feeling of being restrained with handcuffs & anklecuffs.

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    • #193469
       Kimmie 
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      This seems very similar to my feelings.

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  • #193437
     Emily 
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    Definitely a combination of all 3 with heavy leaning towards number 2. While I do LOVE women’s clothes just because of how they look, I firmly believe that I was created to be Emily. It was not a choice that I made. For a while, I was “allowed” to dress as part of our intimacy. But, even that is off the table now as my wife has decided that she just doesn’t like it.

    Interesting question as always. I appreciate the way these forums make me think about who I am and why I have this overwhelming, unstoppable, urge to be Emily

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  • #193197
     Ashley 
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    Combination of all three really. Which one more than the others would probably depend on when I’m asked. And my thoughts and feelings might still change.

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  • #193186
     Ronni 
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    I beleive i am a combination of 1 and 2.

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  • #193076
     Rachel Williams 
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    At first, it was a #1 (namely pantyhose and heels).  Later on, when I discovered sex, I added #3.  Now, I’ve added #2.

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  • #184394
     courtneyjo 
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    Definitely a combination of all 3…as time passes…I enjoy being en femme more and more. Because I’m closeted (would love to be out and about – but not realistic at this point) my female time is limited, but I look forward to each and every opportunity to be Courtney Jo – when they present themselves. Love the feelings within when I am dressed  – could be that I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body…it’s a beautiful feeling!!!!

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    • #193671
       Toni Kohls 
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      It truly is a beautiful feeling! I hope to make my public debut next week!

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    • #184409
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Trapped? Then honey, let me gently release you!

      Your woman, your Roxanne

       

  • #181991
     Donna Richards 
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    1. Great post Fiona!  I would have to say that it’s both #2 and #3.  In my younger years, it was more #2, but as I’ve aged, I’ve come to grips and accepted who I am, therefore I’m a #3.
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  • #181814
     stephanie plumb 
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    I originally replied to this back in November ’18 with a bit of 1 and 3.   It was what I believed for countless years. Now I take it all back.

    CDH and reading lots of posts, replies, and messages, has led me to the realisation that I am actually TG.  I had been closeted for so many years that I, Stephanie,  had been there all along but without the means to express my true identity.  CDH has been/is a revelation! It has answered so many questions.   Some of you girls too have helped set me free.  I have now blossomed into “the woman I always was – ( but didn’t acknowledge it )  –  inside”.  Thanks CDH!

    I am now happier and more content than i have ever been. And enjoy being ME – 100% Stephanie.  So definitely a no. 2 for me.

    Stephanie P

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    • #182026
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Yes, it is true, Stephanee,

      This site has brought me out, and I have confessed in one of these sweet surveys, that I really am “bi”.   I adore the thought of being in love with a sweet, gentle “man”, and allowing him to take care of me, and become his significant other! Isn’t that so silly? But it is true. My feelings have completely taken me over, and that is how I want to complete my life – in his arms!

      Your Roxanne Lanyon

    • #181833
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Stephanee, you are such a wonderful, aware woman.

      I am so proud of you! Isn’t it great to wake up one day, and realize so many new things about yourself?  I am Roxanne Lanyon, and ever so happy that I realized I need a Daddy, a man in my life!  I am now such a happy gurl!

      Roxanne Lanyon

  • #181475
     Shelley Teavee 
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    i would answer “all of the above” and redefine #2 as having the soul or spirit of a woman within me.  I do not want to transition or feel the need to, but i do know that what happens with me goes beyond fetish and titillation. i am a Pieces and i believe i embody the yin-yang of the sign. i am both male and female, i enjoy dressing and being the best woman i can be and perfecting the illusion like a method actor transforms for a role, and i get a highly charged jolt from the heightened senses and newly unleashed pleasure points that come from the role, the way we walk in heels and a pencil skirt, the way clothes fit and emphasize breasts, legs, hips and butt and wearing lingerie taking those features to new levels of excitement knowing they are designed to entice and create desire for the person or persons you show. hair, nails, makeup, shoes, jewelry, every little layer i add solidifies the role and strengthens the illusion until viola´, i am the role. i believe it and those around me do as well. it is magic when that occurs and it is a very potent dragon to be chasing.  endorphins feel good no matter their source. thinking i am addicted to this behaviour has come to mind many times.

    • #181487
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Shelley,

      I think a lot like you.  I see myself as a girl, loving my femininity, and so wanting a significant other to be my paramour.  I would adore to have a sweet, gentle man in my life, to take care of me, protect me, and love me!

      Roxanne Lanyon “A Woman In Her Heart”

  • #181271
     Trinity 
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    Hey Fee, you are so right in saying the 3, but the thing about 2 is that I have asked myself many times if I want to be a woman or if I was into men or if I was bi and I always come up with same answer. If I was able to wave a wand and become a woman for 24 hours I would still desire a woman not a man nothing about men attract me so if I was a woman I would end up being a gay woman so maybe I am a woman trapped in a mans body who knows lol I for sure don’t.

    as for 1 that is by far the most reason I do it’s kind of funny my wife and I just talked about this today then I see your post, for me I just want to wear what I want when I want, I build motor homes and campers for a living, no way could I do that in a dress or skirt… the women I work with don’t even try. So when I get home I change out of my jeans and t shirt. Sometimes I throw on my guy sweatpants some time I throw on my V.S. Ones … sometimes I feel like a jean skirt other times a cute dress. It’s just what mood I am in. But I have to admit that for men’s clothing until the last few years the color has been so blahhhh…red black blue grey so freaking boring as I like the bright colors or floral prints and I love yellow and pinks. So yes I love the clothing that is marketed towards women.

    as for 3 ….for 25 years I have only been with my wife. No desire for a male and without going into our sex life I will just say that we have found ways to do things to make each other scream with out any entry. And also when we are in the mood Trinity does become very submissive to her wife which does not happen when Trinity is not around, but to say I dress for your number 3 I don’t it just sometimes happens that way.

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    • #181369
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Trinity,

      I confess, girl, I love being a woman.  More than I coan ever imagine! I guess I am bi.  I love the thought of having a man around, and belonging to him.  Dressing pretty for him, being his woman, or even his wife, thrills me so much! I hope I will find one one day to be my significant other!  I just want to be in his sweet, gentle, loving arms, forever!

      Roxanne Lanyon

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  • #181231
     Ann Green 
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    Hi Fiona.  I think it’s mainly reason 2 for me.  I do love looking at womens clothing – its absolutely cool.  So reason 1 comes in for a strong second place.  But for whatever reason,  I’ve never actually owned very much of it.  What I love is to put on a gaff and a pretty bodysuit.  I truly feel like a woman when I do that – I’m a tomboy woman wearing jeans and shirt, but I’m a woman without doubt.  A tight gaff gives me a fairly smooth flat pelvis and lets me feel as if that extra anatomy is just up there inside of me.  A bodysuit feels feminine, it hugs my body and my flat chest, and it gives me a little bit more feminine shape overall.  When I’m compressed into my girl-suit, I feel like the girl-athlete I wish I’d been.  I can understand the reason 3 things that others have talked about, because it can sometimes be a turnon for me to look at bras and panties.  But once I’m in them, I’m just a girl with a warm feeling all over.  🙂

     

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    • #181240
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Ann, My Lady,

      I pray to heaven for that “warm feeling all over”.  I love it so much, I’d rather feel that than, anything else.

      Roxanne, “Heart is Beating Femininity”

  • #181105
     Luci